我爱上的人是奇葩（2014）
You're the Worst S04E11
Part 2
Oct. 14, 2020, 4:51 p.m.
Eject! Right, so,
闭嘴 好了...
we have covered current events, historical limericks,
我们已经练过了时政 历史五行打油诗
quirky human interest.
古怪的人情故事
I think Steeb and his listeners are gonna be blown away
我觉得斯帝博和他的听众肯定会被
by what's on the tip of my tongue.
我嘴边的东西震撼到的
What is it? What's gonna be on there?
是什么东西 你嘴边有什么
It-it's jokes.
段子啊
Oh. I get it. Oh, yeah. Right, yeah.
明白了 哦是的 没错
Jokes. Jokes. Yeah, right.
段子 就是段子 没错
You want a little insurance?
你想要万无一失吗
Explain, Edgar's friend.
请解释一下 埃德加的朋友
You have a plant in the crowd
你在观众中间安插个托儿
shout out a lame, prepared heckle
用蹩脚的提前准备好的黑话起个哄
that you have a great comeback for.
而你给予一个机智有力的回击
It's called a "Mencia."
这种手法叫做"门西亚"
Isn't Vernon gonna be there?
弗南不是会在场吗
He'll do it. Great idea.
交给他就好 好主意
I'm sorry Jimmy isn't a good friend to you.
我很遗憾吉米算不上是你的好朋友
I always listen to anything you have to say.
无论你想说什么 我都会认真倾听
Thanks, man. That means a lot.
谢谢你 兄弟 那对我意义重大
But...
只是
I'm not really great about opening up.
我并不擅于袒露心声
Why don't you tell me what you were gonna tell Jimmy earlier,
何不就把刚才被吉米打断了的话
but he didn't let you?
跟我说说呢
Okay.
好吧
You see, I was stationed in Kuwait before moving into Anfal.
在进驻安法尔前 我驻扎在科威特
And Anfal, it's known for its architecture, right?
安法尔以其建筑闻名 对吧
No, its genocide. So there we were,
不 是种族灭绝 所以我们到了那儿
three klicks south of Ali Sabah Al-Salem...
阿里沙巴塞勒姆以南三公里的地方
Check. One, two, check.
试麦 一二 试麦
Jimmy!
吉米
So stoked to be here.
能来参加节目我太激动了
Truth be told, I've been on for 72 straight hours,
跟你说实话 我已经三天没合眼了
and I'm kind of seeing a lot of spiders made out of light.
我似乎看到了很多光线构成的蜘蛛
But I'm good to go.
但我能行的
I got a Camelback full of Casamigos and Monster Energy.
我准备了个饮料袋 装满了龙舌兰和魔爪能量饮料
Right. I need your help with a super-secret heckle.
好吧 我需要你帮我偷偷地冒出些黑话
If you hear me say the words, "That was a squeaker,"
如果你听到我说"真是爆好笑"
You yell out this prewritten quip
就把预先写好的段子大声说出来
for which I have prepared a killer comedic response.
我已经对此准备了富有喜剧效果的绝杀回答
Nice.
好极了
He needs my help.
他需要我的帮助
Excuse me.
抱歉打扰
Hi. I'm Lindsay.
你好 我是琳赛
Why, hello.
你好啊
No need to be timorous.
不必羞怯
I love meeting my fans.
我很乐意见我的粉丝
No. I don't know any of this dork crap.
不 我并不了解这些呆子喜欢的东西
I'm a friend of Jimmy's,
我是吉米的朋友
and I'm a stylist.
我是造型师
Ooh, I adore Jimmy.
我很喜欢吉米的
Between you and me,
我们之间私下说
it felt like a cacodoxy to be sidetracked by a genre experiment.
因文学类型的试验而偏离方向似乎是种异端做法
Concur?
你同意吗
Listen, I thought you might be looking for someone
听着 我认为你可能需要找个人
to update your "Tragic look."
来改善一下你这副"悲催样子"
"Tragic look"?
"悲催样子"
Who said that?
谁说的
Duh. Jimmy.
当然是吉米
Czesc. My country is Poland.
大家好 我选的国家是波兰
Poland?
波兰
Nice choice. What, was Kyrgyzstan already taken?
选得真好 怎么 吉尔吉斯斯坦已经被选走了吗
Poland is the ninth largest country in Europe.
波兰是欧洲第九大国家
They boast 17 Nobel Prize winners,
出了17位诺贝尔奖获得者
and their main foods are pierogies,
他们的主食是波兰煎饺
kielbasa and golumpkies.
波兰熏肠和白菜卷
What? "Blumpkins"?
什么 "拉屎口♥交♥"
Spoiler alert: this bitch is toast.
剧透警告 那小婊♥子♥完蛋了
From the beginning, I was screwed.
我这辈子从一开始就倒霉
My mom's uterus was L-shaped.
我妈的子♥宫♥是L形的
That's why I have equilibrium problems.
所以我的平衡感有问题
And then in the fourth grade, my friend pooped his pants,
然后是四年级 我的朋友把屎拉在裤子里了
so I did, too, out of solidarity, and...
为了与他共进退 我也照做了 而且
I liked it.
我喜欢这感觉
So, at first, we just tried,
一开始我们只是试着
you know, sticking straws directly into the camel's humps,
将吸管直接插♥进♥骆驼的驼峰里
but he was not having that.
但他不肯吸
So, I got out a grenade.
于是我就拿出了手榴弹
And I say, "Hey, man.
我说 "喂 兄弟
"I'm new to skid row, I just did a shitload of heroin,
我初到贫民窟 我刚吸了很多海♥洛♥因♥
"And I need to take a nap.
我需要打个盹儿
I'll find you a new tent."
我会给你找个新帐篷的"
Basically the MS-13s were like,
那群黑帮小子就说
"Do you want to get jumped in or sexed in?"
"你是想被打一顿入帮还是被♥操♥一顿入帮"
And I had a girlfriend at the time, so here we go.
鉴于我当时有女朋友 于是就选择被打了
Broadcasting live from Los Angeles,
来自洛杉矶的播客直播
I am book critic, radio host and failed amateur gardener...
我是书评家 电台主持 不合格的业余园艺师
Steeb Corniglia,
斯帝博·科里尼
and this is Tip of My Tongue.
这里是《话到嘴边》节目
I may have left a trail of vegetable corpses in my wake,
我虽然可能养死了很多植物
but I am still qualified to introduce our special guests.
但我仍有资格介绍一下我们的特别嘉宾
Back with us is actor, writer and master improviser
再次做客的是演员 作家 即兴创作大♥师♥
Andy Daly. Oh, thank you, Steeb.
安迪·达利 谢谢 斯帝博
Hey, is it true that you had a restraining order
话说 我听说一丛水田芥
placed on you by a clutch of watercress?
针对你申请了限制令 是真的吗
Also, television writer and comedienne
以及电视编剧 喜剧女演员
Emily Heller. If anyone brought legumes,
艾米莉·海勒 如果有人带了豆科植物的话
please know that Steeb can't be within 500 feet of them.
千万不要让斯帝博靠近它们500英尺的范围
It's true.
是真的
I bean a bad boy.
我一直"豆"是个坏小子
And, finally,
最后
erotica writer Jimmy Shive-Overly.
是情♥色♥小说家吉米·希瓦-奥弗利
Thanks, Steeb. Uh, well,
多谢 斯帝博 那个...
I hope they're not serving carrots at crafty...
但愿他们的菜单里不含胡萝...
Let's get started with our first game:
让我们开始第一个游戏
"Who's Steeb Right Now?"
"斯帝博现在是谁"
Well, one thing we know about Steeb
关于斯帝博 有一点我们是知道的
is that he is a perpetrator of hominy-cide.
他是玉米粥杀手
Everyone knows that France is the best country.
人人都知道法国是最棒的国家
They basically won World War II,
基本上二战就是他们打赢的
and they invented the best type of kissing:
他们还发明了最棒的亲吻方式
tongue kissing.
舌吻
Their president is a Benetton model
他们的总统帅得像个名牌服装模特
who bangs his mom-wife.
娶了个像妈一样的老婆
♪ Mon petit chou ♪
♪我的小可爱♪
♪ Mon petit chou ♪
♪我的小可爱♪
♪ Mon petit chou, chou bee doo bee doo bee doo ♪
♪我的小可爱 真呀么真可爱♪
♪ Mon petit chou, chou, chou bee doo ♪
♪我的小可爱呀小可爱♪
♪ Quand je vois ton sourire ♪
♪我何时能看见你的笑颜♪
♪ Tes yeux, tes lèvres, tes cheveux ♪
♪你的双眸 朱唇和秀发♪
♪ Oui, je sais ♪
♪我知道♪
♪ Que tu es le seul ♪
♪你是我的唯一♪
♪ Mon soleil, mon balance, sans pareil ♪
♪你就是我的太阳 我的天平♪
♪ Oui, c'est vrai ♪
♪真的♪
♪ Tu es ce lui que j'adore ♪
♪你是我的挚爱♪
♪ Tu seras toujours mon amour ♪
♪我会永远爱着你♪
♪ Et c'est pourquoi ♪
♪这就是为什么♪
♪ Je suis avec toi ♪
♪我要和你在一起♪
♪ Mon petit chou chou, chou bee doo ♪
♪我的小可爱♪
♪ Mon petit chou... ♪
♪我的小可爱♪
我爱上的人是奇葩（2014）
You're the Worst
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