我爱上的人是奇葩（2014）
You're the Worst S04E10
Part 3
Oct. 14, 2020, 4:50 p.m.
I loved your mom.
我当年很爱你们的妈妈
And when she left me, I was devastated.
她抛弃我后 我都崩溃了
I couldn't even stay in the city anymore.
我甚至都无法再在城市待下去
Everything reminded me of her.
一切都会让我想到她
One day, I'm sitting on my lanai,
有一天 我坐在走廊上
watching my gardeners,
看着我的园丁
and I thought to myself, "That's what I want to do."
然后心想 "那就是我想做的事"
So, I told my agent,
所以我跟经纪人说
"From now on, I'm offer-only,"
"从今以后 不试镜 只接专门找我演的戏"
and I moved out here, and I put all my energy
然后搬到了这儿 把一切精力都用来
into my lemon grove.
打理我的柠檬果园
One thing I know for sure:
有一点我很确定
lemons won't ever walk out on me.
柠檬永远不会离我而去
Then why did you just disappear?
那你为什么消失得无影无踪
Was it my bed-wetting?
是因为我尿床吗
Because I stopped eventually, mostly, sort of.
我后来基本上不尿床了 差不多 算是吧
Your mother forbade me from ever contacting you again.
你们的妈妈禁止我再联♥系♥你们
I thought you knew that.
我以为你们都知道呢
Listening to her is one of my biggest regrets.
听她的话是我最后悔的事之一
That, and turning down Die Hard.
另外一件就是拒绝参演《虎胆龙威》
Why would our mother do that? I don't know.
我妈为什么要这么做 我不知道
I wanted to ask her, but she had moved on to dating John Stamos.
我本想问她 但她开始跟约翰·斯塔莫斯约会了
You do not mess with that guy.
可别惹那个家伙
I mean, the Beach Boys were so scared of him,
海滩男孩组合当年超级怕他
they let him pretend to play bongos on "Kokomo."
不得不同意他在《科科莫》里假装敲邦哥鼓
Well, I don't buy it.
我不信
You don't just walk away from people you love.
你不能就这么离开你爱的人
What could I do, girls?
我能怎么办呢 姑娘们
I had no choice.
我没有选择啊
I've always wondered--
我一直好奇呢
did you ever get Princess Pamplemousse to moonwalk?
你后来有没有教会柚子公主走太空步
I did.
我成功了
Ultimately, it led to a hairline fracture in her shin,
但最后导致了它的胫骨骨裂
and we had to shoot her, but...
我们不得不射杀了它 但
she got me that blue ribbon. And, Lindsay,
它给我赢回了那条蓝♥丝♥带♥ 琳赛
you had always talked about being a dinosaur.
你以前一直说要变成恐龙呢
How'd that go?
后来怎么样了
So this is Mom's fault.
所以这都是妈妈的错
Sorry.
抱歉
We got to go pour water on a witch.
我们得回去审判女巫了
Thanks, La Bamba-Dad.
谢谢 "青春传奇"老爹
Good luck with your lemons.
祝你的柠檬好运
Oh, I need more than luck.
我需要的可不止是好运
I'm tasting plum, with hints of violet.
我尝出了梅子味 略带紫罗兰的清香
And then licorice and, um, barberry.
然后是欧亚甘草和伏牛花子
It seems the fruit was harvested too early.
果子似乎采摘得过早了些
Oh, why do you say that?
为什么这么说
Because I'm tasting notes of statutory grape.
因为我尝到了"法定强♥奸♥"的味道
I'm thinking it might be the outside ones that...
我觉得可能是外边的那些...
You can tilt.
你可以试试
No! No, no, no.
不 不 不 不
Rystar! That says rystar!
"莱斯特" 这上面说"莱斯特"
Uh, Rystar... knight!
莱斯特 就是骑士
Rystar means knight!
莱斯特的意思是骑士
Night! Uh... nighttime!
谐音"晚上" 夜晚
No, here, here, here!
不 在这 在这
Here's the knight, here's the knight!
骑士在这 骑士在这
55!
Ooh, the lock, the lock. Yeah.
锁 锁 对
Oh, I can't breathe.
我无法呼吸了
I can't breathe! I can't breathe!
我无法呼吸 我无法呼吸了
Photos. I'm claustrophobic, can you let me out?
照片 我有幽闭恐惧症 你能让我出去吗
Let me out!
让我出去
Let me out! Let me out!
让我出去 让我出去
Ta-da! I escaped us.
瞧 我带大家逃出去了
Stupid.
蠢货
There is this one mom in the PTA
家长教师协会里有个小孩的妈妈
that I think about knifing so much,
我真的很想捅死她
I should take out a restraining order on me.
我应该申请一个对我的限制令
You are nuts, hooker!
你真是个疯子 小婊♥子♥
I used to be fun.
我以前很有趣的
I used to wear low-rise jeans and 'shroom in Joshua Tree.
我以前常在约书亚树国家公园穿着低腰裤 吸毒
And now, I have to be the grown-up, but I want to be fun.
现在我得做个成年人 但我也想做一个有趣的人
Hey, now!
别这么说
You are just a lady doing her A-plus best.
你是个很出色的女人
I wish I had a mom like you. Can I call you Mom?
我也想有一个像你一样的妈 我能叫你妈吗
I'm glad Boone found someone nice.
我很高兴布恩找到了一个好姑娘
He was so lonely for so long.
他已经一个人孤单太久了
Let's get another round.
再来一轮酒
One thing I do miss is the spontaneousness.
不过我很怀念当年那种随心所欲的感觉
On our second date,
我们第二次约会的时候
Boone drove us to Portland to...
布恩开车载我们去波特兰...
No. Gretch, don't black out.
不 格雷琴 别晕
Not now. No, no, no, no, no, no, no!
现在不是时候 不 不不不
Oh, God.
天呐
Oh, no. Why is this?
不 为什么会这样
Harder!
再用力点
Oh, God.
天呐
This is fun.
这真有趣
I feel fun!
我觉得很有趣
Oh, no...
不要啊
Here I go. Here I go.
我的高♥潮♥来了 我要喷了
Boomtown!
爽爆了
Statutory grape.
过早摘下的葡萄
I should sell that one to the funny-pages.
我应该把这个笑点卖♥♥给笑话书出版社
Edgar, call a tow truck.
埃德加 叫拖车过来
Someone's left a try-hardy luxury sedan in my car park.
有人把一辆豪华轿车停在我的车位上了
Actually, that's mine.
实际上 那是我的车
But... you're poor.
但...你是个穷逼啊
I'm not poor. I'm a writer now.
我不穷 我现在是个写手
That doesn't matter. You have poor brain.
那也于事无补 你的头脑里知识很贫乏
Do you know how I know? Because I have poor brain.
知道我是怎么知道的吗 因为我的知识也很贫乏
Jimmy! Do you know
吉米 你知道
what I did with the outsized advance for my first book?
我用处♥女♥作的超大额预付金做了什么吗
I bought a house that I couldn't afford.
我买♥♥了一幢我买♥♥不起的房♥子
I got an FHA loan,
我申请了联邦住房♥局的贷款
so I only put down 3.5%,
所以只付了3.5%的钱
but it's an ARM on a balloon structure,
但那是在大额尾付贷款上的可调利率贷款
which means by the end of next year,
也就是说 在明年年底前
I may have to burn it for the insurance,
我可能得为了保险金把房♥子烧了
which I do not have.
但我根本没上保险
Return the car.
把车退回去
No, Jimmy.
不 吉米
You forfeited your right to tell me what to do.
你已经丧失了命令我怎么做的权利
Maximus.
麦克斯
Oh, the whip?
豪车吗
You got to come check it out.
你必须过来看看
I am so glad you suggested I buy it.
我真的很高兴你建议我买♥♥下它
Hell yeah, I sprung for the all- vegan leather package.
当然了 我当然是要全纯素皮革的了
Mom! We're coming in!
妈 我们要进来了
Hi, girls.
好啊 姑娘们
So, wait, you dated John Stamos,
等等 你先和约翰·斯塔莫斯交往
then Dave Coulier?
然后才是达夫·考利尔
That is not the direction it's supposed to go. I know.
先帅后丑 不该是这种顺序啊 我知道
What's going on here?
什么情况
Why is La Bamba-Dad in your house-car?
为什么"青春传奇"老爹在你的房♥车里
And which is it, a house or a car?
这到底是什么 房♥子还是车
And where does the poop go?
粪便怎么处理
Your visit inspired me to reach out to Faye after all these years.
你们的造访让我想在多年后再次联♥系♥菲
I'm so glad you all reconnected.
我很高兴你们都重新取得了联♥系♥
Well, we're glad too, Mom.
我爱上的人是奇葩（2014）
You're the Worst
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