牧场趣事（2016）

别这么说 是他们偷了你的发电机
Please. They stole from you.
他们该受到惩罚
They deserve whatever's coming to 'em.
他们没被教好
They weren't raised well enough.
显然 要怪只能怪我前妻
Clearly, the only one at fault here is my ex-wife.
嘿 要帮忙尽管说
Hey, whatever you need, you got it.
我还有件事
There is something else.
去年春天 你的公♥司♥想买♥♥彼得森牧场
Last spring, your company wanted to buy the Peterson Ranch.
现在还感兴趣吗 - 我想买♥♥下你的两个牧场
You still interested? - Oh, I'd love to buy both your ranches.
是啊 我还想跟克林特伊斯特伍德一起打猎呢
Yeah, and I'd love to go hunting with Clint Eastwood,
但想买♥♥我家的牧场没可能
but some things just aren't on the table.
我不认识伊斯特伍德
Well, I don't know Eastwood,
但野马队比赛时
but I can get John Elway
我可以让约翰埃尔韦给你上热狗
to serve you a hot dog at a Broncos game.
约翰埃尔韦吗
John Elway?
不 不行
No, no.
铁河牧场不卖♥♥
The Iron River Ranch isn't for sale.
但自从买♥♥了彼得森牧场
But that Peterson Ranch has been a pain in my ass
就麻烦不断
ever since I got it.
我非常感兴趣
I am absolutely interested.
我会去那里看看
I'll go and check the place out
然后给你个报价
and then I'll come back to you with an offer.
太好了 我等你消息
Great. I'll wait to hear from you.
日安 - 你也是
Have a good one. - You, too.
嘿 丽萨 - 在
Hey, Lisa. - Yeah.
你觉得约翰会把热狗跟库尔斯啤酒一起端给我吗
You think John would bring me a Coors with that hot dog?
我肯定他会的
Oh, I'm sure he would.
不 不行
No, no.
我家牧场不卖♥♥
It's not for sale.
玛丽 再来一瓶 汉克 你要什么
Mary, can I get another one? Hank, what you want?
我今天本来要开始练P90X健身操
Well, I was gonna start P90X today.
但看来中午前又要喝四瓶啤酒了
But I guess it's four beers before noon again.
你怎么没去上班
Why aren't you at work?
该死
Oh, shit.
老爸今天很生我和柯尔特的气
Well, Dad got pissed at me and Colt today,
所以他给我们俩放假了
so he gave us the day off.
两星期后我应该再气气他
I gotta remember to piss him off again in two weeks.
摔角狂热赛将在百事中心开战
WrestleMania's coming to the Pepsi Center.
这周末有巨轮卡车赛 两周后有摔角狂热赛
Monster trucks this weekend, WrestleMania in two weeks.
美国再次复兴了
I think America is great again.
我今早
You know, I just so happen
加固了一下我小木屋的阁楼
to have reinforced that loft this morning.
现在承受我 你和我选的你的一位朋友三个人的体重很安全
It is now rated for me, you and a friend of yours of my choosing.
好吧 关于昨晚的事
Yeah, about last night.
我得弄明白自己在做什么
I, uh... I gotta figure out what I'm doing.
有什么好弄明白的
What's to figure out?
我帅到掉渣 你美到冒泡
I'm hot. You're hot.
你朋友雪莉也是
Your friend Shelly's kinda hot.
我说自己想跟尼克复合
Look, I say I wanna give things with Nick a real shot,
结果却去了你家
and then I end up at your place.
我不能再这样下去了
I can't keep doing this.
好的
Okay. Okay.
好吧 我退一步也行
Well, yeah. I can, uh... take a step back, you know?
不再施展魅力
Turn down the charm.
给你个救生衣 这样你就不会被我湛蓝的双眼迷晕了
Throw you a life jacket so you don't drown in these baby blues.
或者我还有个选项
Or I can think of another option.
是吗 是什么
Yeah? What's that?
你可以甩了那个
Well, you could dump the ex-con
被罚在高速路边收拾垃圾的有前科的家伙
who's gotta clean trash off the side of the highway,
来找那个扔垃圾的人
for the guy who throws it there to begin with.
你想复合
You wanna get back together?
我不知道 有何不可呢 我们俩以前挺好的
I don't know. Why not? We had a good thing going.
你是个迷人的女人 我能说什么
You're a cool chick, and what can I say?
你让我想做个更酷毙的坏蛋
You make me wanna be a badder badass.
我很了解你
And I know you well enough to know
知道你轻易不会说这种话
that statement somehow means something to you.
我考虑一下
How about I let you know?
好的 只是别让我等太久
Okay. Just don't wait too long.
如果<单身汉>节目组喜欢我的试镜录影带
If The Bachelor responds to my audition tape,
我会去参演的
I'm gonna fuckin' take it.
嘿 宝贝
Hey, baby.
嘿 我想你
Hey! I miss you.
你穿的是浴巾吗
Are you wearing a towel?
我刚洗完澡出来
Yeah. I just got out of the shower.
斜着看手♥机♥也看不到我的胸
Tilting your phone will not show you my boobs.
那就把你的手♥机♥斜着拿
Tilt your phone, then.
你在哪 怎么这么黑
Where are you? Why is it so dark?
我在彼得森家这里 差不多清理好了
Oh, I'm over at the Peterson place. Almost got it cleared out.
开始变得越来越好了
It's starting to come along pretty great.
怎么了
What was that?
没什么 我没事
Nothin'. I'm good.
嘿
Uh... Hey, uh...
我跟杰瑞谈过了
I was talking to Jerry, um...
公鸡认罪的话会坐牢
and, uh, Rooster's gonna get jail time,
而我认罪只是缓刑 所以
but I'll only get probation, so...
该死 柯尔特
Oh, damn it, Colt.
缓刑没什么
It's not that big of a deal.
就是开车时看到警♥察♥
It means that, at first sign of a cop,
得赶紧把啤酒罐扔出车外
I gotta throw my beer can out the car window.
一个小问题
Hey, uh, quick question.
如果钉子上没锈 被钉子扎了还用打破伤风针吗
If a nail's not rusty, uh, do you have to get a tetanus shot?
你好
Hello!
诺依曼女士 嘿 宝贝 晚点再打给你行吗
Ms. Neumann, um... Hey, babe, can I call you back?
行 爱你
Yeah, okay. Love you.
好的 关于钉子的事发短♥信♥给我
Yeah, all right. And seriously, text me about that nail thing.
嘿 柯尔特 - 嘿
Hey, Colt. - Hey.
我喜欢你把这里重修的样子
I love what you've done with the place.
就像<装♥修♥兄弟>里
Yeah. It's like one of them,
有个人以前是纵火犯一样是吧
uh, Property Brothers was an arsonist, huh?
哦 不
Oh, no!
你还好吗
Are you all right?
我的露露柠檬裤子
My lululemons!
你的伤口好像挺深的
It looks like you're cut pretty bad.
我没事 我会恢复 但这款裤子可再也买♥♥不到了
I'm fine. I'll heal, but these are discontinued.
听着 碰到你我很高兴 我
Look, Colt, uh, I'm glad I ran into you. I'm...
发电机的事我很抱歉
I'm really sorry about all that generator stuff that...
我以为我们俩谈好了的
I thought we were good,
但你♥爸♥做了不同的选择
but then your dad had a different opinion.
是啊 那件事 我爸没想法
Oh, yeah, that... My dad, he don't have opinions.
事情有真♥相♥的一面
There's the truth and then
也有其他人所相信的并非真♥相♥的一面
the bullshit everybody else believes, so...
你来这儿干什么
What are you doing over here?
我就是来这里看看
I just came to check the place out.
来看什么
Check it out for what?
你♥爸♥说你们在考虑把这里卖♥♥掉
Well, your dad told me that you guys were thinking about selling it.
他说什么
He said what?
你们父子真得互相沟通一下了
Look, either you guys have to start talking to each other,
否则我就没法再跟你沟通了
or I gotta stop talking to you.
没搞错吧
You've gotta fucking be kidding me.
别过去那里 或是那里 还有那里
Oh, uh, don't step over there. Or there. Or there.
嘿 - 嘿
Hey. - Hey.
你看起来很漂亮 - 谢谢
You look nice. - Thanks.
我大部分的护发产品都在大火时没了
I lost most of my hair products in the fire,
但柯尔特的这些够开一间莎莉美容用品店了
but fortunately, Colt has enough to start a Sally Beauty Supply.
今天怎么样
How'd it go today?
很顺利 丽萨的员工很棒
It went great. Lisa's got a hell of a crew.
而且没一个人身上有莓果木槿护发素的味道
And not one of 'em smelled like berry hibiscus conditioner.
你看见柯尔特和公鸡了吗 - 没有
Did you see Colt and Rooster? - Nope.
就像我说的 今天很棒
Like I said, it was a great day.
这不关我的事
Beau, it's none of my business, but, uh,
但你打算一直这么冷战到什么时候
how long you gonna keep up this fight?