牧场趣事（2016）

婚纱怎么样
How's the dress look?
我不想结婚
I don't wanna get married.
有那么难看吗
It's that bad?
我说真的 柯尔特 我想把婚礼延期
No, I'm serious, Colt. I wanna postpone the wedding.
不 你 不行
No, you... No.
你这是干什么
What are you doing?
新郎在婚礼前看到新娘穿婚纱不吉利
It's bad luck to see the bride in the dress before the wedding.
哦不 我的胸走光了
Oh, no! My boob popped out!
你真美
You look so beautiful.
美到就算没走光我都不觉得失望
I ain't even disappointed your boob ain't out.
我看起来就像包棉花糖
I look like a bag of fucking marshmallows.
婚礼要在一个月后才举♥行♥
We're not even getting married for a month.
到时候我的肚子只会更显眼
It'll only get worse.
可我喜欢棉花糖
Well, I love marshmallows.
可以放进我最爱的美食清单里
They're in a lot of my favorite things:
脆香米 幸运符食品 葡萄果仁
S'mores, Lucky Charms, Grape-Nuts...
我放棉花糖进去 因为家里只有葡萄果仁
when I put marshmallows in them 'cause all we got is Grape Nuts.
婚礼该在我们最光鲜亮丽的时候办
Our wedding is supposed to be the best day of our lives.
你知道我现在的情况的 我的双脚是肿着的
You know what my days are like now. My feet are swollen.
一直背疼
I have constant backaches.
有个愤怒的小人把我的膀胱当成速度球一样打
There's an angry munchkin using my bladder as a speed bag.
柯尔特 不如等孩子出生了我们再结婚吧
Colt, why don't we get married after the baby's born?
行了 婚礼我们已经筹划了四个月了
Whoa. Okay, we've been planning this for four months, okay?
你知道我不想先生孩子再结婚的
And you know I don't wanna get married after the baby comes.
因为到时候孩子的叫法就变了
Then it'll be the "B" Word.
行了你可以把"私生子"说出来
Okay, you can say "Bastard."
不许当着佩顿宝宝的面说
Whoa. Not in front of baby Peyton.
现在连是男是女都还不知道呢
You don't even know if it's a girl or a boy yet.
这下知道佩顿这个名字的好处了吧
Only now you understand the brilliance of the name Peyton.
听着 只是
Look, just...
我希望宝宝出生时有父母在身边
I want our baby to be born with parents.
什么 不管我们结不结婚
What? Whether we're married or not,
我们都是佩顿的父母
we'll still be parents to little Peyton.
该死 这下说这话的人换成我了
Damn it, now I'm doing it.
未婚生子是不对的
Look, it's wrong to have a child out of wedlock.
哦 天啊 柯尔特
Oh, God, Colt.
听着
Listen...
我从小时候起就一直梦想着这一天
I've been dreaming about this day since I was a little girl:
花童扬撒玫瑰花瓣
the flower girl spreading rose petals,
我爸挽着我的手走过走道
my dad walking me down the aisle,
我跟你跳第一支舞
my first dance with you.
我可从来没想过自己像米其林轮胎人的老妈一样
And not once did I ever imagine myself looking like the Michelin Man's mom.
我明白
I get it, okay,
可这是我们第一次决定为人父母
but this is the first decision we're making as parents
我不想这个决定是错的
and I don't wanna make the wrong one.
柯尔特 我爱你而且我想结婚
Colt, I love you and I wanna get married. Okay.
可我不想成为某个白人垃圾新娘
But I don't wanna be some white-trash bride.
我要高高兴兴的
I wanna have fun.
我想跟你一起跳"马靴快步排舞"
I wanna line dance with you to "Boot Scootin' Boogie,"
还要玩刺破罐子灌啤酒
and shotgun a beer,
对瓶吹火球威士忌
swig Fireball Whisky out of the bottle.
好吧 这些还是白人垃圾的玩法
Okay, that, that still sounds pretty white trash.
我不想就这么结婚
I don't wanna get married like this.
可我想
Well, I do.
我不想再谈这件事了
I don't wanna talk about this anymore.
我们什么时候谈这件事
Well, all right, fine, when're we gonna talk about it?
等孩子出生之后
After the baby's born.
好吧
Fine. Whoa.
我知道你耍什么把戏了
I see what you did there.
不 我们没事 玛姬 好的 到时候告诉我你那边的情况
No, we'll be fine, Mags. Yeah. Let me know how it goes up there.
好的 回头再说
All right, talk to you.
你妈似乎给彼得森牧场的那些旧东西
Seems like your mom might've found a buyer
找到买♥♥家了
for some of Peterson's old equipment.
太好了
Nice.
慢着 她现在人在丹佛
Wait, is she up in Denver?
她回来时会路过露露柠檬折扣店吗
Is she gonna pass that Lululemon outlet on the way back?
因为我有好多东西想买♥♥
'Cause I got a list.
你看到这个了吗
You see this?
这是两起火灾的直播现场
We're looking at live footage of two fires...
哦 妈呀 坦尼娅换发型了
Oh, shit... Tanya got a haircut.
天呀 头发那么多还真叫人羡慕
Man, I'd kill to have that volume.
我说的是她身后的山林大火
I'm talking about the wildfire behind her.
目前 消防局
At this time, the fire services...
坦尼娅是两个星期前剪的头发
And Tanya cut her hair two weeks ago.
还是关注这条新闻吧
Try to stay up with the news.
这么说吧 很难把视线从坦尼娅身上移开
I'll tell you, it's kinda hard to see past Tanya.
大火失控了
That fire's blazing out of control.
是啊 是从蒙特罗斯县着起来的
Yeah, it's up in Montrose County.
如果转为南风就会朝我们这里来了
If the wind turns south, it's gonna head straight for us.
如果民♥主♥党当选了
Yeah, and if the Democrats get elected,
就会收走我们的枪
they're gonna take away our guns
这种事不太可能发生
and make the national pastime huggin'.
以前从没发生过北方山火烧到南边来的事
There ain't never been a fire north of us that turned south.
把柴火和其他易燃物
Just get the fucking firewood and everything else that'll burn
从家里搬出去就是了
away from the house.
再检查一下那条自流管路
And check that gravity line.
牛群等到时候看情况再说
We'll figure out what to do with the cattle when the time comes.
你还是去
And why don't you get on--
地里看看 把所有的重型设备
Disc up the field, and put all the heavy equipment
和喂食器都放到地中间去 我知道
and the feeders in the middle. I got it.
好极了
Great.
你从哪儿学会干这些牧活儿的 露露柠檬店里吗
Where'd you learn all that ranching stuff? Lululemon?
蒙特罗斯县吗
Montrose, huh?
就在沃斯勒牧场旁边 不是吗
It's by the Vossler ranch, innit?
是的 那里整个地区的人员都疏散了
Yeah, they had to evacuate the whole area.
但不用担心 州长宣布了整个州进入紧急状态
But don't worry. The governor declared a state of emergency,
他还在推特上发了没用的"为遇难者祈祷"的推文
and he tweeted out "Thoughts and prayers."
还有个双手做祈祷状的表情
It included a little emoji of hands praying,
所以问题就解决了
so problem solved.
知道政♥府♥应该宣告什么进入紧急状态吗
You know what the government ought to declare a state of emergency?
政♥府♥
The government.
挺好笑的
That's funny.
你是真觉得好笑 还是在嘲讽我
Do you really think it's funny? Or you just making fun of me?
不是 真的非常好笑 非常棒
No, it's very funny. Good one.
这我知道 不用你认可
I know it's funny. I don't need your validation.
那笑话是挺好笑的 对吗
That shit is funny, though, right?
发电机坏了吗
Genny busted?
不止是坏了 老兄 是彻底坏了
It's more than busted, dude. It's gone.
死亡时间吗 就是现在
Time of death? Right the fuck now.
好吧 我来看一下
All right, I'll take a look at it.
这你倒是笑了
Oh, that you laugh at.
如果火势继续
If that fire comes through here,
我们需要这台发电机给水泵发电
we're gonna need this generator to power the pumps,
所以想办法把它修好了
so figure the damn thing out.
我们需要这台发电机给水泵发电
we're gonna need this generator to power the pumps,
所以想办法把它修好了
so figure the damn thing out.
是啊 老爸 你这番鼓励还真不赖
Yeah, that's a great pep talk, Dad.
这就跟以前把我的自行车辅轮卸了
It's like that time you took the training wheels off my bike,
然后叫我骑车时不要摔倒一样
and told me to stop falling down.
当年我把头盔拿走了
When I took that helmet away from you,
你就学会了骑车 不是吗
you learned to ride it, didn't you?
是啊 我直接就被送进了急诊室
Yeah, I made it all the way to ER without falling down.
老爸 听着 这东西现在是垃圾了
Dad, look, it's trash.
我们没钱买♥♥新发电机
There's no money for a new generator.
没钱买♥♥任何东西
There's no money for anything.
好吧 也许柯尔特能弄到张神奇支票
Yeah, well, maybe Colt can come up with one of them mystery checks.
没那个可能
Yeah. That ain't gonna happen.
行了 快说那张支票是哪来的
Come on, dude. Why don't you tell us where that check came from?
怎么 孩子是JJ瓦特的吗
What happened, uh, J.J. Watt knock up Abby?
给你钱让你假装孩子是你的吗
He's paying you to pretend it's yours?