牧场趣事（2016）

你离家那几年我跟公鸡好过吗
Did I hook up with Rooster all them years you were gone?
你有吗 - 我有吗
Did you? - Did I?
好吧 你在逗我 对吗
All right. You're fucking with me, right?
我在逗你对吗
I'm fucking with you. Right?
嘿
Hey.
谢谢你打电♥话♥给我
Thanks for calling me.
这地方挺不错的
Wow. This is pretty sweet.
要是遇到检查酒驾
If you get stopped for a DUI,
你可以停车说自己就住在这里
you just pull over and tell the cop you live here.
行了 别绕圈子了
Come on. Let's cut to the chase.
要多少钱你才肯走
How much will it take to make you leave?
我不想要钱
I don't want money.
是吗
Really?
因为上次你得"癌症"的时候
Because the last time you had "Cancer,"
全家人把所有钱都给了你
the whole family got together and gave you every penny we had.
结果原来要治乳腺癌 就要去伊比萨海滩
Turns out the cure for breast cancer is on a beach in Ibiza.
说起来在伊比萨 很多男人都会看你的胸
To be fair, in Ibiza, you get your breasts examined a lot.
是啊 假装得了癌症是挺有意思的
Yeah, fake cancer is very funny.
比不上真得了癌症
Not as funny as real cancer.
你知道就算你可能真的病了
Do you know how mad it makes me
但因为对你的不信任 我却不能替你感到难过
that you actually might be sick and I can't feel bad
这让我多生气吗
because I don't trust you?
我只能说我很抱歉
All I can say is I'm sorry
而且这次我是真的得了癌症
and that I am not lying about having cancer this time.
听着我知道我们俩的关系不好
Look, I know our relationship is fucked.
但难道你不想修复吗
But don't you wanna fix it?
说实话 不想 直到你到这儿来了
Honestly, no. Until you showed up,
我才又想起你
I hadn't thought about you at all.
因为我没有遗憾
'Cause I have no regrets.
如果你有 那就要你去修复
If you have some, that's your responsibility to fix it.
好吧 那我想我是在求你帮忙
All right. Then I guess I'm asking for a favor.
难道你不想做我们以前做的那些疯狂事吗
Don't you wanna do crazy stuff like we used to?
我们俩是末路狂花
We'll Thelma and Louise it.
我们炸掉几个乡巴佬的车尾箱
We'll blow up some redneck trucker's rig
而我会睡了布拉德皮特
and I'll have sex with Brad Pitt.
好事儿都成你的了
Of course you get Brad Pitt.
你想让我说什么 说我原谅你了吗
What do you want me to say? That I forgive you?
那好 我原谅你了 但仅此而已
Fine. I forgive you. But that's all you're getting.
不是每段关系都应该修复
Not every relationship should be fixed.
我是说 就像泰勒斯威夫特和任何人
I mean, it's like Taylor Swift and anybody.
玛姬
Maggie...
我这一生犯了很多错误
I've made a lot of mistakes in my life...
但你是我的亲姐妹
but you're my sister.
你现在是我唯一的家人
You are the only family that I have left.
少来了 凯伦
Come on, Karen.
要是我们的关系对你来说真的重要
If our relationship mattered to you,
你早就该来找我了
you'd have shown up long ago.
好吧 那谢谢你听我说这些话
All right, all right. Well, um, thanks for hearing me out.
我不会再来打扰你了
I won't bother you again.
凯伦 等一下
Oh, Karen, wait.
老妈做的鸡汤 不给你吃她会生气的
Mom's chicken soup. She'd be pissed if I didn't feed you.
谢谢
Thank you.
要是你在等我抱你 那就别想了
You're not getting a hug if that's what you're waiting for.
我其实是在等你给我把勺子
Actually, I was waiting for a spoon.
嘿 这都是什么啊
Hey, what's all this?
彼得森牧场的牲畜棚没被烧毁的木头
Salvaged some wood from that collapsed Peterson's barn.
可以用来重建棚屋
We can use it to rebuild the shed.
好主意
Good idea.
我能说什么呢 我看到问题就把它解决了
Well, what can I say? I saw a problem and I solved it.
很好 你照我的话把木头从彼得森牧场拿过来了
Good. You got the wood from Peterson's barn I asked you to get.
他年纪大了 我就不跟他计较了
He's old. I'll let him have it.
看啊 诺依曼山那位女士又来了
Lookee there. The Neumann's Hill lady's back.
你打算怎么演 老爸 好牧主坏牧主吗
How you wanna play this, Daddy? Good rancher, bad rancher?
对 你演坏牧主 你行吗
Yeah, you be bad rancher. Think you can manage that?
嘿 博
Hey, Beau.
嘿 丽萨诺依曼 这是我两个儿子 柯尔特和公鸡
Hey. Lisa Neumann, my sons, Colt and Rooster.
认识你很高兴 柯尔特
Nice to meet you, Colt.
公鸡 你以前在我们的一间牧场干过一段时间
Rooster, you used to run one of my ranches for a bit.
以前只在监控里看到过你的屁♥股♥
It's nice to finally put a face to the ass
这下脸也对上了真是太好了
that used to moon our security cameras.
这个嘛 当初雇佣我的时候
Well, I was told when I was hired,
是你们说午休时我可以想干什么就干什么
I could do whatever I want during my lunch break.
那么 博 你考虑我那项提议了吗
So, Beau, you had a chance to consider my proposal?
我考虑过了 我们替你们养牛
I have. We'll take your cattle.
什么 - 是的
What? - Yeah.
真是太好了 谢谢
That is great news. Thank you.
不如我们边喝威士忌边谈价格吧
Why don't we work out the finances over a glass of whiskey?
对方喝醉了的时候对我更有利
I find that I always negotiate better when the other person is drunk.
当时也是用这招就便宜地签下了公鸡
That's how I got Rooster so cheap.
没必要谈判
There's no need to negotiate.
出价只要足够我们的费用就可以了
All I need is enough to cover our expenses.
老爸
Uh... Dad?
他年纪大了
He's old.
所以我们的费用大概会是
So, our expenses are gonna be, roughly...
你觉得是多少 翻一番就可以了
double whatever you think they are.
听着 我没想借着这场大火赚钱
Look, I'm not looking to profit off this wildfire.
不管你的牧场是不是大公♥司♥形式的 你都是个牧主
Big corporate outfit or no, you're a rancher.
最终 我们牧主间会互帮互助
At the end of the day, we take care of our own.
谢谢
Well, thank you.
希望有天我能还你这个人情
I hope someday I can return the favor.
谢谢
Thank you.
有可能把我以前在你公♥司♥的监控录像发给我吗
Any chance you can send me that security footage of me mooning you?
现在有些交友软件上可以发视频了
Some of the dating apps let you post video now.
嘿 博 再次感谢 你是个好人
Hey, Beau, thanks again. You're a good man.
至于你两个儿子嘛
And your two sons are...
你是个好人
You're a good man.
好吧 真正的计划是什么 - 你们刚刚都听见了
All right. What's the real plan? - You just heard it.
老爸 我明白你想做到高风亮节 好吗
Dad, I get you're trying to be honorable, okay?
但那些人可不是什么高风亮节的人
But these are not honorable people.
诺依曼山会竭尽全力惩罚你的
Neumann's Hill is out to screw you any way they can.
我了解这种人 因为我就是这种人
I know these kind of people. Because I am these kind of people.
我们需要这笔钱 老爸 - 别说了
We need this money, Dad. - Stop.
艰难的年头不会改变我们经营牧场的方式
Hard times aren't gonna change the way we run this ranch.
老兄 这叫什么事儿
Dude, what the hell was that?
我不知道
I don't know.
没搞垮诺依曼山 我们这是在搞垮自己
Instead of fucking Neumann's Hill, we're fucking ourselves.
可不是嘛 诺依曼山不该出现在咱家的地界上
No kidding. Neumann's Hill should not be on our property.
他们就要来了 所以我们得处理掉这台发电机
They're gonna be. So we gotta get rid of this generator.
她不是为了那个来的
She did not come here for that.
我们没事 - "没事"
We are in the clear. -"In the clear"?
比利说监控录像拍到了这辆车
Billy said they got video of the Bronco.
她手里只有我屁♥股♥的视频 她明显很喜欢
The only video she's got is of my ass. It's clear she liked it.
那台发电机已经完成它的使命了 它帮我们扛过了那场大火
It served its purpose. It got us through the fire.
让水洒持续工作 到了舍弃它的时候了
Kept the sprinklers going. Now it's time to ditch it.
跟以前红龙虾餐厅畅吃月结束后
Like you ditched that Red Lobster waitress
你甩掉店里的那个服务员一样
after all-you-can-eat-shrimp month.
老兄 放松 结束了 好吗
Dude, chill out. It's over. Okay?
而且我没甩了萨拉 我又不是禽兽
And I didn't ditch Sarah. I'm not a monster.
我们分手是因为她老公从昏迷中苏醒过来了
We broke up after her husband came out of that coma.
要人陪吗
Want some company?
抱歉 白♥痴♥问题 反正我都要进来的
Sorry, stupid question. I'm coming in anyway.
那俩小子又闯祸了吗
The boys fuck something up?
抱歉 白♥痴♥问题 他们闯什么祸了
Sorry, stupid question. What did the boys fuck up?
没有 我见了我妹妹
No, I've been with my sister.
她来的事儿公鸡说了
Rooster said she was in town.
他说她得了癌症的事吗
Did he say she has cancer?
这次又谎称自己得了癌症吗
They didn't get all the fake cancer the first time?
她叫我跟她一起去佛罗里达
She wants me to come with her to Florida.
每次相信她我都会受伤
Every time I open myself up to her, I get burned.
这次你相信她吗
You believe her this time?