牧场趣事（2016）

老爸 快点 我们要走了 我们已经尽力了
Dad, come on, we gotta go. We've done everything we can.
是吗 - 快来 老爸
Have we? - Oh, come on, Dad,
这问题挺难回答的
that's a trick question, all right?
如果说我们尽力了
'Cause if we say yes,
就会因为跟事实不符而显得我们很蠢
then we're stupid for being wrong.
如果说没尽力
If we say no,
也会因为我们没把事情都安排好而显得很蠢
we're stupid for not having done everything.
就说我们蠢在哪里吧 赶紧离开这里
Tell us what we're stupid for. Let's get out of here!
你们没把家里的子弹都带上
You didn't get all the ammo out of the house.
老爸 要是我们花时间搬子弹
Dad, if we take the time to get all the ammo out of the house,
我们不会被火烧死 而是会老死
we won't die from the fire. We'll die from old age.
我自己来 出去吧
You know what? I'll get it myself. Get out of here!
有人在吗 - 老妈
Hello? - Mom?
你们在干吗呢
Wha... What the hell are you guys doing?
你们现在应该在那所学校才对
You should've been at the school by now.
这话她对我们说过多少次了
How many times did she say that to us?
老爸不肯走 就像我们去了五金店
Dad won't leave. It's like when we go to Bass Pro Shops...
或是柯尔特去了丝芙兰一样
or when Colt goes to fucking Sephora.
因为店里总出新品啊
They always have something new.
你们俩走吧
Alright. You two, go.
我能让汉克离开酒吧 就能让你们老爸离开这里
I got Hank out of the bar. I can get Dad outta here.
你们不走我们就不走
We are not leaving without you guys.
柯尔特里根 詹姆森福特 照我说的话做
Colt Reagan! Jameson Ford! You'll do as I say!
赶紧走吧
Now get your asses the fuck out of here!
是 夫人 - 这话也说过好多遍
Yes, ma'am. - Said that a lot too.
博罗斯福 快离开这里
Beau Roosevelt, get out here!
那是你♥妈♥的♥<圣经>吗 真暖心
Is that your mother's Bible? That's sweet.
我找的是她的照片
It's her picture I was after.
你把照片夹在哪本书里
What, uh, book did you have it in?
<士师记> 因为她是爱评判别人
Judges? 'Cause that's all she ever did.
我知道你不喜欢她
I know you hated her.
公道地说 是她不喜欢我在先 我才不喜欢她的
To be fair, she hated me. I just hated her back.
这张照片 是我爸去世前一天给她拍的
My dad took this picture of her the day before he died.
照片你已经找到了 该走了 快点
You got the photo. It's time to go. Come on.
是啊
Yeah.
博 145高速公路就要封路了
Beau, they're shutting down Highway 145.
要是不走
If we don't get out of here,
火就要烧过来了
we're gonna be on the wrong side of this fire.
我怎么能离开这里呢
How am I supposed to leave this place?
我知道这里有你一生的回忆 可是
I know there's a lifetime of memories here, but...
可不是嘛
Yeah.
就像那次公鸡挂到烟囱上的标语写着
Like the time Rooster put that sign on the chimney that said,
"亲爱的圣诞老人 请把礼物留在门廊上
"Dear Santa, please leave the gifts on the porch.
老爸会开枪打非法闯入者”
Dad shoots trespassers."
而你把红色的食品着色剂
Right. And you threw red food coloring
洒在雪上捉弄他
over the snow just to mess with him.
他哭了一晚上 但那次之后就非常相信圣诞老人
He cried all night, but he believed in Santa after that.
你想怎么办
What are you gonna be?
要蠢到用浇花的水管去扑灭山林大火吗
The idiot trying to put out a wildfire with a garden hose?
我不指望你能理解
I don't expect you to understand.
这座牧场是我的一部分 我不能一走了之
This ranch is part of me. I can't just walk away.
最不济会怎么样
What's the worst thing that happens?
牧场烧没了可以再建
It burns down and you rebuild.
我72岁了 玛姬
I'm 72 years old, Mags.
没时间从头来过了
It's too late to start over.
听着 要是你想留下跟这里同归于尽 那么请便
Look, if you wanna stay here and go down with the ship, go ahead.
我要去那所学校跟其他家人在一起
I'm going to the school and be with the rest of your family.
该死
Fuck!
太不可思议了 感觉全镇的人都在这儿了
This is crazy. It's like the whole town's here.
是啊 太可怕了
Yeah. It's terrible.
看啊 老妈把老爸带来了
Ah, look at that. She got him out.
该死 你带安全套了吗
Oh, shit. Did you bring any condoms?
我可是跟一个孕妇订了婚的
I'm engaged to a pregnant woman.
好吧
Okay.
实在不行 我可以用装三明治的袋子和橡皮筋代替
I guess worse comes to worst, I can use a sandwich bag and a rubber band.
嘿 老妈
Hey, Mom.
天啊 看看这场景
Holy shit. Look at all this.
难以置信 所有人都来了
It's unbelievable, everybody crammed in.
讽刺的是 这样肯定违反防火准则了
Ironically, there's no way this isn't a fire code violation.
嘿 艾比呢
Hey, where's Abby?
应该就快到了 她去她爸妈家看看
Oh, should be here soon. She went to check up on her folks.
我打过电♥话♥ 但没打通
I tried to call, but phone lines are down.
是啊 要么是这样 要么就是她意识到
Yeah. Either that or she realized
快跟你结婚了就开着车冲进火里了
she's marrying you and drove into the fire.
谁是这里的负责人 乱糟糟的
Who's in charge here? It's a shitshow.
不管是谁
Whoever it is
我觉得政♥权♥就要更迭了
I have a feeling there's about to be a regime change.
我不是想管事
I'm not trying to take over.
我只是说没人负责让人签到
I'm just saying, nobody's signing anyone in,
那怎么知道谁来了谁没来
so how do we know who's here and who's missing?
还有一托盘水堆在角落那里有什么用
And what good is a pallet of water doing stacked in the corner?
知道吗 管它的 我来主事
You know what? Fuck it. I am in charge.
我帮你安顿一下 - 我自己能行
Let's get you settled in. - I got it.
好吧
Okay.
很高兴你来了 老爸
Glad you're here, Dad.
我可不高兴
I'm not.
我现在应该在确认
I should be home making sure that
重型装备都搬到草场上了才对
heavy equipment got moved to the pasture.
一切都打理好了 老爸
Took care of everything, Dad.
我负责指挥 柯尔特也很卖♥♥力
Kicked into leadership mode and Colt was a good little worker bee.
我还把东边地界上的篱笆放倒了
I also tore down some of the fence on the east border.
什么
What?
你为什么那么做
Why in the hell would you do that?
那都是柯尔特自己的主意
Well, that was all Colt.
身为好领袖该放手的地方就要放手
Part of being a good leader is giving credit where it's due.
这样万一风变大了
I did it in case the wind shifts,
牛群就不会被火困住了
so the cattle won't be trapped by the fire.
我已经在南边下风向把篱笆放倒了
I already cut it on the south side. The downwind side.
那才是牛群要去的方向
That's where those cows will go.
要是我想弄其他的篱笆 我自己会弄的
If I wanted that other fence down, I'd have cut it myself.
你还会亲自把每头牛都救下来
Yeah and save every single cow by yourself too, huh?
东面篱笆的隔壁是霍利斯特牧场
That fence borders on the Hollister ranch.
要是我们的牛跟他家注册过的牛混到一起怎么办
What you think'll happen when our bulls get in with his registered cows?
你什么时候才能不背着我♥干♥蠢事
When will you stop doing dumb shit behind my back?
这件事我就没可能没做错吗
There's no chance I'm not an idiot on this one?
这我可以替你回答
I can answer that for you, dad.
就算火没烧到我们的牧场 那个老家伙也会暴跳如雷的
Even if that fire misses us, that old man will have a fit.
我们要把牛赶到一起 再把两家的牛分开来
We're gonna have to gather cows, separate cows.
进行检查 给牛打♥针♥
Run tests, give 'em shots...
不被他告就算走运了
We'll be lucky to avoid a fucking lawsuit.
你说的对
You're right.
让牛在篱笆边上烧死那样更好
It was better if I let the cows burn to death along the fence line.
知道吗
You know what?
对一个总是成事不足败事有余的人
For somebody who fucks things up all the time...
你会开始相信我的判断
you'd think at some point you'd start to trust my judgment.
你总是把事情搞得更加不可收拾
You always make things worse.
再说一次 你来了我很高兴 老爸
Once again, I'm glad you're here, Dad.
知道吗
You know what?
无所谓了
It doesn't matter.
你想怎么样就怎么样吧
Do whatever in the hell you want.
嘿 老弟 我支持你
Hey, man, I had your back.
天啊 我前面还在担心你呢 - 我没事
Hell, I was worried about you. - I'm fine.
我是在跟德拉克讲话呢
I was talking to Drake.
人类最好的朋友来认识下最坏的朋友
Man's best friend, meet man's worst.
我前面看见玛姬和你两个儿子了
I saw Maggie and the boys.
乔安妮怎么样?
How's Joanne holding up?
她去参加外孙女幼儿园的情况介绍会了
She's visiting her granddaughter for her kindergarten orientation.
是所蒙特梭利学校
It's a Montessori school,
就是说不能作弄那些孩子了
which probably means you can't spank the kids.
情况介绍 他们要学什么
Orientation? What do they need to learn?