牧场趣事（2016）

早上好 本奈特先生
Morning, Mr. Bennett.
早上好 本奈特太太
Good morning, Mrs. Bennett.
早上好 另一位本奈特先生
Good morning, other Mr. Bennett.
早上好
Good morning.
我一直就知道你在婚礼过后的第二天早上会在我身边醒来
I always knew you'd wake up next to me after your wedding night.
好吧 早孕反应又回来了
Well, the morning sickness is back.
你不会是第一个
You wouldn't be the first person
在公鸡身边醒来就吐的人
to wake up next to Rooster and throw up.
你们两位新婚夫妇睡得怎么样
How'd the newlyweds sleep?
我以前一直都梦想着在我婚礼当晚
I always dreamed, on my wedding night,
自己会安静地睡在某个异国小岛的滔滔海浪旁边
I'd be lulled to sleep by crashing waves on an exotic island.
但戴尔的睡眠呼吸机效果还真出乎意料地好
But I got to say, Dale's sleep apnea machine was surprisingly soothing.
不敢相信我们俩真结婚了
I can't believe we're actually married.
要是跟我离婚 你一半的东西就要归我了
If you divorce me, I get half your stuff.
都在那个旅行袋里了 打开看看
It is all there in that duffel bag, so have at it.
请大家听我说好吗
Can I get everyone's attention?
145高速路现在开放了
Highway 145 is open.
火势已经被控制住了
The fire's been contained in that area.
如果你家在那里以北 现在就可以安全回家了
If you live north of there, it's safe to go home.
谢天谢地
Thank God.
正是时候 - 我们离开这里吧
About time. - Let's get the fuck out of here.
这还是我第一次连续在学校待了三天
First time I've been in school for three consecutive days.
请仔细检查好你们自己的位置
Please take a moment to go through your spaces.
确保没落下东西
Make sure you don't leave anything behind.
如果有谁看到一把上面写有"加里森警♥察♥"的车钥匙
And if anybody sees a car key that says "Garrison Police,"
请通知我
Please let me know.
行了 回去看看♥房♥♥子有没有被烧了吧
All right. Let's go see if the house burned down.
我现在算是明白了你们每次把我们俩单独留在家里是什么感觉了
Now I know how you guys felt every time you left us home alone.
不会有事的
It's gonna be fine.
要是房♥子真被烧了
And if it did burn down,
老爸以后就没法说"在我家就要听我的"了
then Dad won't be able to say, "My roof, my rules."
在我的废墟上就要听我的
My rubble, my rules.
把车停过来 我们可以装东西了
Why don't you pull the truck around. We can help load it up.
好的没问题
Yep. You got it.
这就成了妻管严了
So it starts.
给他一拳 柯尔特 - 没问题
Punch him, Colt. - You got it.
我想打你蛋蛋的 可惜你已经没了
I'd hit you in the balls, but those are gone.
行了 拿着
All right. Take this.
我有点不想离开这里
Part of me doesn't wanna leave.
只要我们在这儿 牧场可能就没事
As long as we're here, there's a chance the ranch didn't get hit.
要么房♥子已经烧没了 要么一切如常
Either there's no house or we go back to the way things were.
我不知道哪样更叫人害怕
I'm not sure which is scarier.
有时间聊两句吗
You guys got a second?
该死 知道吗 我差点忘了
Oh. Shit. You know what? I actually almost forgot.
天啊
Christ.
前面因为大火的事我没提这事
I didn't bring it up before because of the fire and the wedding and all,
但有人从诺依曼山偷了台发电机
but few days ago, someone stole a generator from Neumann's Hill.
天啊 但愿能抓到那些坏蛋
Damn. Well, hope they catch them bastards.
那晚那里的监控录像拍到了你的烈马车
There's security footage of your Bronco there that night.
不是我们干的 肯定是其他人的车
Wasn't us. Must've been somebody else's Bronco.
那辆车是我卖♥♥给你的
I sold it to you.
保险杠在咱俩玩轮椅滑雪时撞弯了
The bumper's bent from when I took you wheelchair skiing.
我们没偷过发电机
We didn't steal a generator.
我知道是你们俩其中一个人干的
I know it was one of you.
你们是我最好的朋友
Y'all are my best friends.
我会尽量帮你们瞒过去的 可我不能丢了工作
I'll do what I can to cover for you, but I'm not losing my job for you.
我们没偷 啤酒桶
We didn't take it, Pong.
我们是没偷 但我们的确拿了这个
Nope. But we did take these.
该死
Shit.
该死 谢谢你帮我瞒过去
Damn! Thanks for coverin'.
不 去你的
No, fuck you.
我就知道这事不会那么就算了的
I knew this was gonna come back and haunt us.
嘿 比利的话你都听到了 我们没事
Hey, hey, you heard Billy, dude, we're fine.
你没被抓起来的唯一原因
The only reason you're not in jail right now
是因为比利是我们的好朋友 还是个不诚实的条子
is 'cause Billy's a good friend and a dishonest cop.
牧场会不会被烧掉
Look, that generator might be the difference
也许就取决于有没有那台发电机
between our ranch burnin' down and not.
我知道其中的风险 我做了选择 是正确的那个选择
I knew the risks. I made the choice. It was the right one.
要是还有其他人看到了你的车呢
What if somebody besides Billy saw the Bronco?
没有 我可是他妈的忍♥者
They didn't. I'm a fuckin' ninja.
如果我要被你牵连坐牢
If I'm goin' down because of something you do,
最好是因为些很酷的事
it's gonna be something awesome like,
比如绑♥架♥约翰埃尔韦 让他给我们讲故事
kidnapping John Elway and trapping him in basement, making him tell us stories.
该死
Damn.
是啊 我们挺走运的了
Yeah. We're pretty fortunate.
博 这座房♥子就像你一样
Beau, this house is like you.
老旧 摇摇欲坠 但就是倒不了
It's old, it's creaky, but it just won't die.
是啊 它也许还对着大火嚷嚷"从我家地界上滚出去"
Yeah, it probably yelled at the fire, "Get off my property!"
难以相信周边受灾这么严重
It's hard to believe this place's still standing
这座房♥子居然还在
after the devastation we saw on the way over here.
是啊 那些消防员救了我们 - 是啊
Yeah. Those firefighters saved our asses. - Yep.
他们太棒了 真英勇
They're amazing. So brave.
我们该表示一下谢意
We should find a way to show our gratitude.
不知道他们身上有没有受伤的地方 我可以给他们擦芦荟
I wonder if they have any burns I can rub some aloe on.
我一直都想当预备役消防员
I've been thinking about becoming a reserve firefighter.
没门
No.
你们两个小子也很努力
You boys worked hard too.
要不是有那台发电机让灌溉系统工作
Hadn't been for that generator running those Rain Birds,
我们现在眼前的景象可能会截然不同
we might've been talking about a whole different scenario.
是啊 听到了吗 那台发电机救了我们
Yeah. Hear that? The generator saved our asses.
而且老爸爱我多过爱你
And Daddy loves me more than you.
是啊 真不敢相信是你把那台发电机修好的
Yeah. Well, I can't believe you got her up and running.
真希望我有摄影机 把你当时修的过程都录下来
I wish I had a camera, so I had some video of you fixin' it.
你可不会想有摄影机的
Well, you wouldn't want cameras out here.
那样会拍下很多艾比偷溜进我小屋里的视频
There'd be a lot of footage of Abby sneaking over to my cabin.
我要去看看我们的损失情况
I wanna get out and see how we fared.
情况比我预想的要好
We're in better shape than I thought we'd be.
也许等我不行的时候 让那台发电机工作起来
Probably get it up and running just in time for me to die.
我们该去看看彼得森牧场的情况 - 说得对
We should check on the Peterson's Ranch. - Good call.
我去酒吧看看
I'm gonna head to the bar.
我们都该去酒吧
We should all head over to the bar.
你怎么回事
What the fuck is wrong with you?
老爸 看看你
Dad, look at you.
看看我
Look at me.
看看这个木偶
Look at this fucking Muppet.
天啊
Jesus.
都烧没了
There's nothing left.
壁炉没了 可是
I mean, I guess the fireplace, but...
我觉得最近不会有人想生火的
I don't think anybody's gonna want a fire anytime soon.
我不知道要从哪开始
I don't know where to start.
这里本来要作为我们的家的
This was gonna be our home.
是啊 那彼得森呢
Yeah. What about Peterson?
我们跟他说他死前可以住在这里
We told him he could live here till he died.
他现在人在另一个半球 他所有的东西
He's halfway around the world. All his stuff's...
都没了
gone.
我们有保险对吗
We have insurance, right?
有 - 好的
Yeah. - Okay.
银行那些混♥蛋♥强迫我们买♥♥的
The assholes at the bank forced us to get it.
我知道现在的情况是个不小的打击
I know this is a setback.
但我们以前经历过很多 我们都挺过来了 对吗
But we've had a million of 'em, and we always overcome 'em, okay?
我们会好起来的
We are gonna be fine.
是啊
Yeah.
至少我们可以重建
At least we can rebuild.
很多人都一无所有了
A lot of people were wiped out.
正是 我要去丹佛教书
Exactly. I'm gonna be in Denver, teaching.
所以你只要
So we just need you to
在我回来休产假前
build an entire home
把家重建好就行
by the time I get back here on maternity leave.
你有三个月时间
You got three months.
天啊
Damn.