牧场趣事（2016）

The Ranch S03E08

Part 4 June 24, 2021, 11:50 a.m.

我一个人就待不住
without hot chicks trying to make out with me.
监狱尼克呢
What about Prison Nick?
说到这个嘛
Yeah, well...
你离开酒吧之后他就开始犯浑
After you left the bar, he was an asshole.
我不想跟他一起回家所以
I don't feel like go back home with him, so...
我就来这儿了
here I am.
行但是
Yeah, okay, but
几天前
a few days ago,
你说你们俩想复合
you told me you were trying to make it work with him,
这我就不明白了
Which I don't totally understand why
因为他就像吸了冰♥毒♥的凯斯厄本
because he kinda looks like a methed-out Keith Urban.
如果你想我走
If you want me to leave,
我肯定能在树林里找到另一个人
I'm sure I'll find another guy sitting alone in the woods,
给动物灌酒
getting the animals drunk.
不我们可以待在一起
No, no, we can hang out.
但你能
But can you just...
告诉我他到底为什么坐牢的吗
Like, what exactly was he go to prison for?
你问哪一次
Which time?
好吧
Yeah, okay.
你们俩是闹分手还是
So you guys breakin' up or
你这会儿真想听尼克的事吗
You really wanna keep talking about Nick?
我可不是为了心理抚慰才来的
Coz I didn't come here for therapy.
我是来约炮的
I came here to fuck.
这是我这辈子听过的最棒的话了
That is the single greatest sentence I've heard in my entire life.
很好你收到我的短♥信♥了
Good, you got my text.
是的可我记得约的是在家里见
Yeah, but I thought we're gonna meet at the house,
因为在回丹佛前我有好多事要做
'cause I got five million things to do before I leave for Denver,
而且我想一小时后就出发
and I was hoping to leave in the next hour.
你干吗要生火
Why would you start a fire?
反正也没什么可烧的了
What's gonna happen?
所以什么事 - 过来
So, what's up? - Come here.
好的
All right.
我去找过诺依曼女士了
I went and I talked to Ms. Neumann.
那个 - 是吗
Well... - Yeah?
好吧
Okay.
她会撤销指控
She's gonna drop the charges.
什么是真的吗
What? Are you serious?
慢着你是怎么说服她的
Wait. How did you get her to do that?
要是你说出♥卖♥♥♥色相了我都不会生气
I wouldn't even be mad if you say you had to sleep with her.
这个嘛
Well...
我分♥析♥了下情况
I analyzed the situation.
我坐下来跟她好好谈了谈
I sat down with her.
机智雄辩了一番
I made an intelligent argument.
她就被说服了
She was convinced.
我记得我们说好了的不再说谎
I thought we agreed, no more lyin'.
我说真的
I'm serious.
我们现在在帮她养牛
We're helping her out.
所以她就帮了我这个忙
So she helped me out.
我之前说了我会解决的而且这次我说到做到了
I said I'd take care of it, and, for once, I actually did.
柯尔特这真是太好了
Colt, this is huge.
我不想这件事悬而未决地就回丹佛去
I didn't wanna leave with this hanging over us.
还有个惊喜给你
I got another surprise for you.
你能不能见好就收啊
Well, could your surprise be quitting while you're ahead?
好吧之前我不想知道宝宝是男是女
Okay, remember how I didn't wanna know if the baby's a boy or girl,
可你很想知道对吗
but you did?
是啊也是在那天你还问了给我做超声波检查的那个人
Yeah, it was the same day you asked the ultrasound technician
能不能给你一张宝宝甩手的特写照
if you could get a close-up of the baby's throwing arm.
好吧那个
Okay, well...
我给医生打了电♥话♥
I called the doctor,
请他把宝宝的性别写下来装进信封里封好
I asked him to write the gender and put it in a sealed envelope,
然后
and then...
我拿着那个信封去了派对城
I took it to Party City.
哦天啊
Oh, my God.
这个气球里装满了纸屑
It's full of confetti.
如果纸屑是蓝色的就是男孩儿
So, if it's blue, it's a boy.
如果是粉色的就是女孩儿
And if it's pink, it's a girl.
如果是另一个颜色
If it's another color,
那就是那个自♥拍♥的青少年柜员
that stupid teenager taking selfies behind the counter
当时根本没听我的要求
didn't listen to me at all.
太贴心了
This is so sweet.
我是说
I mean,
你确定自己想知道吗
are you sure you wanna know?
以前你知道黑武士是卢克他爸时可是吓坏了
You freaked out when you learned Darth Vader was Luke's father.
我想知道
I wanna know.
而且我想我们俩一起
And I wanna do it together.
就在这里站在我们新房♥子的
Right here, in our new house...
客厅或是厨房♥里
standing in our living room or kitchen.
随便新房♥子的什么地方
Whatever the fuck room it is.
好吧那我们就戳气球吧
Okay, let's do it.
要戳了
Here we go.
一
One...
二 - 等等
two... - Wait!
天啊艾比我手里正拿着刀呢
Jesus Christ, Ab, I'm holding a knife!
对不起我不知道我觉得我现在不想知道
I'm sorry. I don't know. I think I wanna wait.
真的吗
Really?
真的不是吗我是说
Yeah, right? I mean...
我们都等了这么久了
We've come this far.
我不知道我觉得该知道的时候就会知道的
I don't know. I feel like we'll find out when we're supposed to.
你确定吗
Are you sure?
是的我确定
Yeah, yeah, I'm sure.
我确定
Yes.
一定的 - 好
Sure. - Okay.
好的 - 那好
Okay. - All right.
行了 - 气球
All right. - Balloon...
放飞吧
be free.
希望我爸看到你
I hope my dad sees you
会以为是政♥府♥在操控天气
and thinks the government's controlling the weather.
我会想你的
I'm gonna miss you.
我也是
I'll miss you too.
哦天啊
Oh, my God.
是女孩儿
It's a girl!
哦天啊现在就是我们该知道的时候了
Oh, my God. I guess we were supposed to find out.
我想是这样
I guess.
我等不及要给她梳头发染指甲了
I can't wait to braid her hair and do her nails.
我们可以给她打扮成米妮去迪士尼乐园
We can dress her up as Minnie Mouse and take her to Disneyland.
我终于可以去迪士尼乐园了
I'll finally go to Disneyland!
哦天啊
Oh, my gosh!
我太高兴了
I'm so excited.
不是男孩儿你也高兴吗
Even though it's not a boy?
高兴她将来会成为大联盟里第一位女四分卫
Yeah! She's gonna be the first girl quarterback in the NFL!
第一个不会取名叫阿隆罗杰斯的女孩
First girl not named Aaron Rodgers.
我真是爱死你了
I love you so fucking much.
嘿博
Oh, hey, Beau.
嘿丽萨
Hey, Lisa.
这是你第一个月的钱
Here's your first month's expenses.
我想亲自交给你
I wanted to drop it off in person.
在信件和钱的事上我不相信政♥府♥
I don't trust the government with my mail or my money.
我觉得我们的共同之处比我想的还多
I guess we're more alike than I thought we were.
谢谢
Thank you.
今天情况怎么样
How did it go today?
我本打算训斥下你的人
Well, I expected to spend the day yelling at your crew.
结果却变成训了我两个儿子叫他俩别碍事
But I just ended up yelling at my boys to stay out of their way.
雇对了人没养败家子就会这样
That's what happens when you hire good employees instead of breeding bad ones.
明天可以把牛送过来吗
Is it okay to bring the cattle tomorrow?
我们应该上午10点左右就准备好了
We should get finished by mid-morning.
没问题
Sure.
但上午10点对我来说就像早上5点
But mid-morning for me is 5:00 a.m.
所以你要睡懒觉
So, you sleep in?
谢谢到时候见 - 好的
Thanks. See you tomorrow. -Right.
还有告诉柯尔特那件事已经解决了
And tell Colt that that thing has been taken care of.