牧场趣事（2016）

里奇吗
Rich?
上次见到他时 他说我是个糟糕的雇员
I mean, last time I saw him he called me a terrible employee,
我就拿起他的手♥机♥对着墙摔了出去
and I smashed his phone against the wall.
可我从来没叫过他混♥蛋♥ 我打给他
But I never called him a cocksucker. I'll give him a call.
谢谢 - 对 谢谢
Thank you. - Yeah, thank you.
祝你们好运 - 好的
Good luck, boys. - Yeah.
还有 我出20块买♥♥你们的麦当劳
By the way, I'll give you 20 bucks for your McDonald's.
其实吧 - 很公道 成交
Actually, these are... - That's fair. We'll take it.
你没事吧
You okay over there?
你没说几句话 就算是你也未免太少了点
You haven't said much, even for you.
我只是在享受眼前的美景
Just enjoying the beautiful scenery.
好吧 这可太怪了
Okay, well, that's fucking weird.
我不怎么喜欢吉瓦尼斯俱乐部的人
Gotta admit, I'm not a big fan of the Kiwanis Club,
可这条高速他们修得还是挺不赖的
but they've done a bang-up job adopting this highway.
在一到威利尼尔森级别之间 你现在有多嗨
How high are you on a scale from one to Willie Nelson?
不是因为吃了药的关系 乔安妮
It's not the pills, Joanne.
之前闭上眼睛准备接受手术时
When I closed my eyes for that operation,
我不知道自己会不会再醒过来
I didn't know if I was ever gonna open them again.
我觉得自己又获得了一次机会
And I feel like I got a second chance.
也许是因为这次要跟你一起度过
Maybe the reason for that is to spend it with you.
等着你从手术室出来
Waiting for you to get out of surgery
是我人生里最漫长的三个小时
was the longest three hours of my life.
感谢你支持着我
Hell, I appreciate you being there for me.
既然获得了第二次机会
And now that I've got this second chance,
我以后就不会为那些小事着急动怒了
I'm done worrying about the little stuff.
那可能就是害我进医院的原因所在
That's probably what put me in the hospital in the first place.
那个还有
That and...
你的嘴从来不是嚼着牛排
the only time you weren't putting steak in your mouth
就是喝着威士忌
was when you were dumping whisky into it.
看我不会为了这种小玩笑而不爽
See, that little joke there is a thing that I'm not gonna let bother me.
既然你的态度转变了
So I guess with this whole new attitude of yours...
那我开着这辆雪佛兰送你回家也没什么了吧
I guess you're okay with me driving you home in this Chevy?
行驶得非常平稳
Ride's so smooth,
这下我明白唐麦克林为什么会开着雪佛兰去堤坝了
I can see why Don McLean drove one of these to the levee.
民谣摇滚歌♥手
作品<美国派>中有句歌♥词为"Drove my Chevy to the levee"
艾比 我不想让你搬去丹佛
Abby, just 'cause I don't want you moving to Denver
并不代表我不支持你
don't mean I'm not a supportive boyfriend.
我不该为了这件事道歉
I shouldn't have to apologize for that.
好吧 对不起
Fine, I'm sorry.
我不觉得有什么对不起的
I'm not sorry.
很高兴你也觉得自己有错
Well, I'm glad you're sorry, too.
等你下课了并且端正态度了
We'll talk about this more when you're done with school
我们再谈这件事
and you got a better attitude.
她什么时候挂断的
When'd she hang up?
我刚道完歉她就挂了
Right after I apologized.
行了 里奇来了
All right, there's Rich.
他是我们最后的机会 所以要冷静
He's the last shot, so be cool.
怎么做 要扮好警♥察♥坏警♥察♥吗
How you wanna play this? Good cop, bad cop?
不如扮好警♥察♥和不说话的警♥察♥
How 'bout good cop, shut-the-fuck-up cop?
嘿 你好吗 里奇 你气色真好 老兄
Hey! What's up, Rich? You're lookin' good, man.
外套真不错 我怎么才能弄到一件
Nice jacket. How will I get one of them?
不被诺依曼山开除就有了
You don't get fired from Neumann's Hill.
记得我弟弟柯尔特吗
Remember my brother Colt?
当然记得 很高兴又见面了
Of course I do. It's good to see you again.
别这么见外嘛 来个拥抱
Get outta here with this. I'm a hugger.
好吧
Okay, okay.
天啊 你身上的味道真棒
Jiminy Christmas, you smell good.
是什么味道 是老帆船沐浴露的味道吗
What's that? What is that? Old Spice Bearglove?
你猜得还真准
Ah! That's a good call.
你用的什么 我猜是芒果味洗发水
What you got goin' on? I got a hint of mango shampoo.
是芒果椰子味的
It's mango coconut.
味道挺淡的 你回家的路上都会一直闻到椰子味
It's subtle. That coconut will hit you on the drive home.
省得你们猜了
In case you guys were wondering,
我身上的是汗水 百威啤酒和肯德基的味道
sweat, Budweiser, and KFC.
咱们坐吧
Let's sit.
那个"比口♥交♥还棒"的商业提案是什么
So, what is this business proposition that is "Better than a blewjob"?
老兄 你居然没检查一下就发了
Dude! You didn't proofread.
好吧 听着 里奇
All right, look, Rich,
我们知道诺依曼山想买♥♥彼得森牧场
we know Neumann's Hill is interested in buying that Peterson Ranch.
是的 但有混♥蛋♥抢在了我们前面
Yeah, until some asshole bought it from underneath us.
里奇 你现在看着的就是那个混♥蛋♥
Rich, you're looking straight at that asshole.
是你们买♥♥的
Wait, so you guys bought the place?
那怎么这么快又要卖♥♥掉呢
Why do you wanna sell it the next day?
人人都知道彼得森恨你们
Everyone knows Peterson hates you guys.
他很便宜地就卖♥♥给了我们
He sold it to us super cheap.
我们没时间同时经营两间牧场
We don't have time to run two ranches.
我们就跟投资人差不多 你懂吧
We're, like, investors, you know?
像马克库班或是唐老鸭的舅舅
Like Mark Cuban or Scrooge McDuck.
唐老鸭的舅舅
Scrooge McDuck?
它有一屋子的黄金 里奇
He's got a room full of gold, Rich.
你有吗
Do you?
我们不想跟你开价太高
We ain't looking to gouge you here.
所以 你就出之前给彼得森的开价吧
So, why not just offer us what you was offerin' Peterson?
加几件你身上的这种外套 皆大欢喜
Maybe throw in a couple of those jackets. Everyone's happy.
说真的 公♥司♥上星期很想买♥♥那间牧场
Seriously, guys, they wanted it last week.
不知道情况有没有变
I don't see why they wouldn't want it now.
那就
All right, well...
跟他们谈谈 再告诉我们他们怎么说
Talk to 'em, let us know what they say.
要是公♥司♥买♥♥下那里
And then, maybe if we buy the place,
你可以回来负责经营
you can come back and run it for us.
倒是不错 可我现在的工作挺好 所以
That's cool, man, but actually I got a good job right now, so...
等一下
Wait.
你以为我是说真的
You think I'm serious.
这人怎么回事
Do you know what is wrong with this guy?
他
He's...
他是个笨蛋
He's an idiot.
我不知道怎么 耶
I don't know what... Yeah!
我们还是朋友 对吗 我们都喜欢老帆船沐浴露
We're still friends, right? We got that Bearglove love.
太好了 - 是啊
This is good. - Yeah.
真是太好了
This is really good.
我的脑袋不光闻着好闻 还很聪明
My head don't just smell good. It thinks good.
是啊 你的脑袋真的很聪明
Yeah, your head thinks real good.
最棒的是 等告诉老爸时
Best part, when we tell Dad,
因为我们已经把问题解决了 他就没法生气了
he can't get super pissed, 'cause we already solved the problem.
交易确认结束前什么都别说
We ain't sayin' nothin' till the deal closes.
我们得告诉他油管的事 他会从报纸上看到的
We gotta tell him about the pipeline. He's gonna read about it in the newspaper.
那个又不是成绩单 可以把所有字母都改成及格
It's not a report card, where we can turn every letter into a C.
那好吧
All right.
告诉他油管的事 但其他事绝口不提
We tell him about the pipeline, but nothin' else.
他心脏病才刚发作过
You know, the man just had a heart attack.
是啊 好吧
Yeah, okay.
我们不是要说谎骗他
We're not lying to him.
而是为了他着想 - 说的对 老兄
We're looking out for him. - That's right. Man...
我们可真是大好人
we are such good people.
再喝瓶啤酒和一杯烈酒 咱俩就比谁先开回家
Another beer and a shot, and I'll race you home.
好的
All right.
如果你们需要
If you guys ever need it,
我现在是优步车司机了
I'm an Uber driver now.
行了 医生说以后不许再吃红肉了
All right, doctor said no more red meat.
别把牛排都扔了啊
Don't throw those steaks away!
我不扔 我是要拿走
I'm not. I'm taking 'em.
嘿 - 嘿
Hey. - Hey.
嘿
Hey.
回来时还顺利吗
How was the ride home?
非常顺利
It was great.
好吧 这倒是奇了怪了
Okay, that's fucking weird.
是啊 他变了个人
Yeah, he's a new man.
我车里有些我外孙女留下的跳跳糖 他都给吃了
My granddaughter left some Pop Rocks in the truck and he ate 'em.
含在嘴里会发出啧啧声
They were tingly.
我要回老乡村店上班了
I gotta get back to my shift at the Cracker Barrel.