牧场趣事（2016）

The Ranch S03E06

Part 3 June 24, 2021, 11:50 a.m.

所有的犯罪记录也就没了吧
does that mean all the criminal records disappear?
我们该现在就去放火烧了法♥院♥吗
Should we be burning down the courthouse right now?
也许吧
Probably.
嘿公鸡什么事
Hey, Rooster, what's going on?
我不知道刚嚼了片烟叶
I don't know. Just had a dip.
吃了午饭
Ate some lunch.
卖♥♥了点假大♥麻♥给几个小屁孩
Sold some kids some fake weed.
感觉就像回到了高中的时候
Man, it's like I'm really back in high school.
那位尼克老兄呢
So, where's that dude, Nick?
他去健身房♥了
He went to check out the weight room.
1点到1点半是他的健身时间
He's used to working out between 1:00 and 1:30.
那他是什么情况
So, what's up with that guy?
什么意思
What do you mean?
记得以前看<单身女郎>时
Well, you know how when we used to watch The Bachelorette,
看到阿什莉把玫瑰给了那个
we'd go nuts every time
自大狂约什K时我们有多火大吗
that Ashley would give that tool Josh K a rose?
那个尼克就有点约什K的感觉
Well, Nick kind of seems like Josh K, you know?
除了他不是干派对策划的
Except, like, not even a party planner.
不我跟你说了他改变了
No, I... I told you, he's changed.
我们俩复合快五个月了
We've been back together for almost five months.
他一次都没说 "快有条子把这个吞下去"
Not once has he said, "Oh, quick, there's a cop. Swallow this."
知道吗有时候男人为了泡妞
Sometimes people pretend to
会弄虚作假
be things they're not to get a girl, you know?
我曾经为了追个金发妞加入过某个邪教两个星期
Like, I joined a cult once for two weeks for this blonde.
结果我发现那里所有的姑娘都是教主的老婆
Then I found out all the girls are married to the leader.
接着我就花了两个星期想要建立一个邪教
Then I spent two weeks trying to form a cult.
我只是说你可以找到更好的
Just sayin', you know, I feel like you could do better.
我现在明白了那个更好的人就是你
Now I see. And better is you.
这可是你自己说的
Your words.
我只是为你着想
I'm just looking out for you.
是啊
Oh, yeah.
如果要用两个词来形容你
Yeah, if I had to describe you in two words,
我肯定会说 "好心的人"
I would definitely say "Good Samaritan."
我会说是 "乡下版的金刚狼"
I mean, I'd say, "Redneck Wolverine."
但现在不是在说我的事
But, you know, it's not about me.
我只是不知道尼克是好人而且我
I just don't know that Nick's a good guy, and I...
你应该得到男人的善待
I think you deserve to be treated right.
我能照顾好自己
I can take care of myself.
你确定
Are you sure?
是的我确定
Yeah, I'm sure.
那就行了
All right.
别带他去温蒂餐厅的汽车点单通道
Well, don't bring him by the Wendy's drive-through.
那个地方是专属于我们俩的
That's our spot.
回头见 - 好的
See ya. - All right.
等一下我有个疯狂的想法需要你帮忙
Wait. I got a crazy idea. I need your help with something.
戴不戴滑雪面罩 - 不戴
Ski mask or no ski mask? - No ski mask.
扫兴好吧我♥干♥
Bummer. All right, I'm in.
好吧既然你把我眼睛罩住了
Okay, if you're gonna blindfold me,
就别让我被楼梯绊倒
you've gotta call out the stairs.
我接住你了第二次
Well, I caught you. The second time.
怎么了
What is goin' on?
你叫我穿得漂漂亮亮的把我眼睛罩住
You made me get dressed up, put a blindfold on me.
要是取下眼罩时看到的又是中世纪表演秀
If I take this thing off and we are at Medieval Times again,
我可是会生气的
I am going to be pissed.
别担心亲爱的 - 哦不
Don't worry, my lady. - Oh, no.
好了
All right.
今晚我会向你证明世界是站在我们俩这边的
Tonight, I'm gonna prove to you that the universe is on our side.
等下
Wait...
什么
What...
慢着怎么回事
Wait, what is going on?
我们俩要结婚了
We're getting married.
什么
What?
我想你今天就
I don't wanna live another day in my life
成为我的妻子
without you being my wife.
我爱你艾比
I love you, Abby.
我知道有时候似乎全世界都在跟我们作对
I know sometimes it seems this whole world's up against us.
但只要我们俩在一起
But as long as we're together,
我们就能扛过任何事
we'll make it through anything.
我们俩是一队的
We're a team.
而且我们这队比有些部分更强大
And our team is greater than some of the parts.
什么 "有些部分"
What? "Some of the parts"?
对
Yeah.
这是种措辞
It's a phrase.
重点在于
The point is...
现在唯一能阻止我们俩结婚的
the only thing that's stopping us from getting married right now
就是你拒绝
is you saying no.
知道我会说什么吗?
You know what I say?
今晚世界没跟我们俩作对
Tonight, the universe is not against us.
今晚世界是属于我们俩的
Tonight, the universe is our bitch!
我们要结婚吗 - 是的
We're getting married? - Yeah!
我们要结婚了 - 是的
We're getting married! - Fuck yeah!
好极了
Oh, good.
这下知道我们的外孙外孙女学会的第一个词会是什么了
A little hint of what our grandkid's first word will be.
这事你们俩也有份吗
You guys were in on this, too?
虽说跟我们的想法不一样
Well, it's not what we planned,
但我们确实希望婚礼
but we did want some place
在可以容纳很多人的户外举♥行♥
outdoors where we could seat a lot of people.
宝贝
Sweetheart
从你一出生我就梦想着这一刻
I've dreamed about this moment since the day you were born.
而且看到你跟柯尔特
And I'm so proud to see you and Colt
开启人生的下一个篇章我很骄傲
start the next great chapter of your lives.
我非常爱你
I love you so much,
我
and I'm...
站在那儿的怎么会是玛姬
What the fuck is Maggie doing up there?
麦金蒂神父正在内华达做年度出访
Uh, Father McGinty is on his annual mission in Nevada.
他一个星期就做一场布道
He gives one sermon
剩下几天就玩牌九
and spends the rest of the week playing pai gow.
但不用担心
But don't worry.
为了能主持两位男性朋友的婚礼
My mom got ordained online
我妈去网上注册了认证牧师
so she could marry her two male friends.
我们该把她的电♥话♥号♥码告诉加里叔叔
We should give her number to Uncle Gary.
好吧我最好过去所以
Okay, well, I better get up there, so...
菲利普斯夫人要搭车吗
Mrs. Phillips, would you care for a ride?
没想到还是辆肌肉车
Oh, I didn't realize it was a muscle car.
宝贝女儿
My baby girl.
你看起来美极了
You look so beautiful.
谢谢老爸你也好帅
Thank you, Dad. You look very handsome.
你妈之前还不让我把这条领带带上
And your mom didn't want me to save this tie from the fire.
噢
Oh.
看到你这么幸福
Seeing your child look this happy...
是世界上最让我开心的事
There's no greater feeling in the world.
我爱你小嘟嘟
I love you, toots.
我爱你
I love you.
我们走吧
Shall we?
要跑还来得及
You know, it's not too late to run.
欢迎各位
Well, welcome, everyone.
感谢来到这块球场
Thanks for joining us on this football field, where...
这里曾赢得过很多奖杯
The home of so many great triumphs.
但都比不上今晚我们正在庆祝的这个
None as good as the one we're celebrating tonight, though.
也许除了1998年的那个冠军奖杯
Except maybe the '98 championship.
最有价值球员在此
MVP in the house!
柯尔特
Colt
你是世上最善良的人
you have the world's biggest heart.
我很高兴你找到了可以让你全心付出的人
And so I'm thrilled you've found someone to give it to.
艾比我一直都把你当成自己的女儿
Abby, I've always thought of you as a daughter.
所以我见证的不只是柯尔特和艾比
So I'm not just marrying Colt to Abby.
也是我儿子和女儿的婚礼
I'm marrying my son to my daughter.
老妈 - 这么说不妥
Mom. - Oh, that's bad.
我这
I'm... That's...
但婚礼仪式进行前
Uh, but before the ceremony,