政客

The Politician S02E06

Part 3 June 26, 2020, 9:02 a.m.

迪迪道理很简单
Dede, this is so simple.
如果你第一局输了
If you lose the first round,
你就换成那个
you switch to the thing
能打败刚打败了你的选项
that will beat what just beat you.
如果你赢了你应该换成
If you win, you should switch to the thing
能够赢得那个
that would win against the thing
你最初出的选项
that you played the first time.
不好意思最后那部分能慢点再说一遍吗
I'm sorry, can you say that last part again, more slowly?
如果你出石头赢了
If you win with rock,
下一轮就出剪刀
play scissors.
如果你出剪刀输了
If you lose with scissors,
下一轮就出布
play paper.
上帝啊
Jesus!
你们在监狱里肯定活不过五分钟
You guys wouldn't last five minutes in prison!
太聪明了但有一件事情
This is brilliant, but there's only one thing
可能毁掉这个绝妙的计划
that could throw a wrench into this master plan.
如果佩顿也知道这个研究怎么办
What if Payton knows about this study as well?
-他在这干什么 -我叫他来的
- What is he doing here? - I called him.
这是个竞选紧急情况
This is a campaign emergency,
我想要所有参与竞选过程的人
and I wanted everyone involved with the campaign
聚在一起商量对策
to be here to figure out what to do.
我把他炒了而且事出有因
Well, I fired him. For a cause.
对不起我背着你找《纽♥约♥时♥报♥》爆料了
Sorry I went behind your back and talked to the New York Times.
我做了一个行政决定
I made an executive decision,
而鉴于选举日激烈的竞争局面
which, considering the way the race tightened on Election Day,
我的决定可能是明智而有效的
was probably really wise and productive.
没错你做那个决定
Yes, one that you only made
只是因为我说你不够狠
because I called you out for not being aggressive enough.
我不知道自己是否能和一个如此轻易
I don't know if I wanna work with someone who can be baited into
就被情绪影响的人一起共事
an emotional action that easily.
没错因为我们
Yes, because we are all
通常情绪都很稳定
just usually so emotionally stable.
够了斯凯你说有紧急情况
Enough. Skye, you said it was an emergency.
如果你认为这个紧急情况需要詹姆斯到场
If you think it's serious enough to warrant James being here,
那詹姆斯就应该到场
then James should be here.
谢谢你
Thank you.
一个小时前英菲尼蒂·杰克逊来找我了
An hour ago, I got a visit from Infinity Jackson.
她给了我这个
She gave me this.
投票箱
这是官方投票箱吗
Is that an official ballot box?
官方投票箱密封
它还是锁着的
It's still locked.
天啊有人偷了这个投票箱
Oh, my God. This is a stolen ballot box.
拥有投票箱触犯了联邦法律
Being in possession of this is a federal crime, okay?
我们必须离开这里
We have to get out of here
这样才能进行合理推诿
so we can maintain plausible deniability.
等等英菲尼蒂怎么会有这个
Wait, wait. How did Infinity get this?
我偷来的
I stole it.
我们偷来的
Well, we stole it.
我们是指我的秘密气候行动小组
We being my secret climate action group
名字叫地下气候行动
called the Climate Underground.
说实话我本来想叫地下天气行动的
Honestly I wanted to call it the Weather Underground,
但这个名字被一帮
but apparently, the name was taken
根本就不在乎气候变化的混♥蛋♥给占用了
by some jerks who don't even care about climate change.
总之我自己一人想出了这个偷投票箱的点子
Anyway, I came up with the ballot-stealing idea all on my own.
我管它叫"从毁了地球的
I called it "Operation Steal our Planet
婴儿潮一代手中偷回地球"行动
from the Boomers Who are Trying to Kill It."
秘密行动的代号♥不应该短些吗
Aren't code names supposed to be, like, shorter than that?
-比如用缩写什么的 -或脑子清醒些
- Yeah, like, an acronym or something? - Or be clever?
拜托能先回到这个有可能让我们
Okay, Can we please just get back to hearing about
吃上十年牢饭的犯罪行为的话题上来吗
the crime that could put us in jail for a decade?
佩顿
Payton,
迪迪·斯丹迪施不能在这场选举中胜出
Dede Standish cannot win this election.
我们正处于气候危机状态中
We are in a climate emergency,
而你是唯一能阻止事态继续严重下去的候选人
and you are the only candidate that can stop it, so...
所以我心想 "英菲尼蒂
I thought to myself, "Infinity,
你怎么才能阻止她在这场选举中胜出呢
how can you stop her from winning this election?
我是说你可以暗♥杀♥她
I mean, you could assassinate her,
但即使是现在这个情况这做法也太极端了"
but that feels extreme even under these circumstances."
是的我同意
Yeah, I agree with that.
暗♥杀♥从来就不是解决问题的办法
Assassination is never the answer.
然后我意识到
Then I realized,
这是个地方选举
this is a local election.
只需几票的差距就能决定胜负
It'll be decided by just a handful of votes.
如果我们能确保
What if we made sure
迪迪·斯丹迪施的部分选票不被记入统计呢
that a bunch of Standish votes were never counted?
这样你就能赢得选举了
It could throw the election...to you.
你怎么知道这里面都是斯丹迪施的选票
How do you know that is full of Standish votes?
我找到了老年选民
I found the polling place
占人数比例最高的投票站
with the highest percentage of old voters.
我知道那个地方
I know that place.
我们去调查过而当我们问及当地居民
We canvassed it. And when we asked the residents
他们对环境问题的看法时
what they thought of the environment,
他们的回答是
their response was,
因为孙辈们从不来拜访
because their grandchildren never visit,
他们希望留下一个地狱般的地方
they hope to leave behind a true hellhole
给他们生存
for them to live in.
我读过几个加拿大科学家的研究报告
I read this study by these Canadian scientists
他们说老年人更容易被分散注意力
that said old people are more easily distracted
因为他们大脑中
because a part of their brain
叫做蓝斑核的部位退化了
called the locus coeruleus is deteriorated,
所以我知道想吸引他们的注意并不是难事
so I knew it wouldn't take much to draw their attention.
另外如果说还有一件事
Also, if there's one thing
是老年人无法抗拒的
that old people cannot resist,
那就是哑剧
it's mimes.
这箱子里大概有300张选票
There are probably 300 ballots in this box.
这足以让迪迪赢得选举了
That's more than enough to give the election to Dede.
这事糟糕了
This is bad.
天啊真的太糟糕了
Oh, God, this is really bad.
这比我没告诉任何人
This is worse than that time you didn't have cancer,
-你没得癌症那次还要糟糕 -这么严重吗
- and I didn't tell anyone about it. - That bad?
是的非常严重英菲尼蒂
Really, it's that bad, Infinity.
我们都会坐牢的
We are all going to jail.
我不会
I'm not.
我回头就把你们都举报了
I'd turn on all of you in a heartbeat.
你见过选举委员会了
You saw that election board. Okay?
他们告诉过我们
They told us themselves,
他们没有幽默感对吧
they don't have a sense of humor, right?
我绝不认为他们会觉得
And I definitely don't think they're gonna find
偷投票箱有什么好笑的
stealing one of their ballot boxes funny.
事实上我想他们应该会觉得
In fact, I think they'd probably
这一点都不好笑
find it definitively unfunny.
佩顿我们要开战了
Payton, we are at war.
有史以来最大最重要的一战
The biggest, most important war of all time.
每一天都很重要
Every single day counts.
以你的能力可以在两年内
Two years with you with the power to do something
做出一些生死攸关的改变
could be the difference between life and death.
我们的星球正在被
Our planet is being murdered
像迪迪·斯丹迪施这样的人摧毁
by people like Dede Standish.
明白吗这不是犯罪
Okay? This is... not a crime.
而是自卫
It's self-defense.
好吧那我们该怎么办
Okay, so? What are we gonna do?
不管喜欢与否我们已经身在其中了
Like it or not, we're in it now.
我们可以把它撬开统计票数
We could crack it open and count the votes,
如果对我们有帮助我们就匿名上交
and if it helps us, we turn it in anonymously,
如果没有我们就烧了它们
and if not, we burn them.
好吧既然我们已经考虑过
Okay. Now that we've considered
最不诚实的做法了
the most dishonest version of what we should do,
还有什么其他选项吗
what are some other options?
我们可以
We could just...
把它留在警♥察♥局门口
leave it on the doorstep of a police station,