政客

- Oh, is that bad? - No, no, no.
这很好 通常在这样的竞选中
It's good. Usually, in a race like this
一个强大的在职者 会让出口民调很清晰明了
with a strong incumbent, the exit polling's clear.
但她并没碾压我们就很说明问题
The fact she's not crushing us is telling.
-你们这边怎么样了 -组装遇到了麻烦
- How's it going here? - Trouble with the assembly.
-她不知道怎么搭建吗 -是的
- She doesn't know how to build one? - No.
真的吗 你没有去阿巴拉契亚山道徒步过吗
Really? You never backpacked the Appalachian Trail
或者把自己绑在树上进行抗♥议♥
or did a chain-yourself-to-a-tree protest?
没有 她也没有参加过拓展训练
No, and she didn't do Outward Bound either.
我去找一个通用扳手
I'm gonna go find an Allen wrench.
我能问你个问题吗
Can I ask you a question?
如果做这样的事不能提升你的民调
If doing stuff like this didn't poll well,
你还会做吗
would you still be doing it?
你是在问我是否关心环境
Are you asking me if I care about the environment
以及你我继承的地球未来吗
and the future of the planet you and I inherit?
当然 这是我竞选的宗旨
Of course. It's the centerpiece of my campaign.
嗯 可是
Yeah, but...
开始并不是这样的
it didn't start that way.
你一开始谈论的是地铁
You started out talking about the subway
以及迪迪不了解
and how Dede was out of touch
纽约工人阶级的最新情况
with the working-class people of New York,
然后突然间 你就开始谈论环境了
and then suddenly, it was all about the environment.
竞选会发展 候选人也会变换
Well, campaigns evolve. Candidates evolve.
我可以坦诚说
Look, I can honestly say
我一直想要赢得竞选 但直到我开始
I've always wanted to win the race, but I wasn't inspired
谈论环境以后 我才受到了启发
until I started talking about the environment.
在你开始获胜的时候
When you started winning.
好了 你想就这问题进行成人对话
All right. You wanna have the adult conversation about this?
两者都有 好吗
It's both, okay?
我相信我们处于一个气候危机中
I believe we're in a climate emergency
而我们的政♥治♥领袖无视它
and our political leaders have failed
辜负了年轻一代 所以
the younger generation by ignoring it, so if...
我获胜的话 我会全情投入到这个问题上
when I win, I will commit to focusing on that issue
因为没什么问题比这个更包罗万象
because there is really no problem that's more all-encompassing.
而我赢得竞选的唯一方式
And the only way I'm gonna win this race
就是让年轻人投票
is to get young people to vote.
而唯一能激励年轻人
And the only thing that truly inspires young people
行动起来 参与投票的事
to get off their buns and actually vote
就是气候变化
is climate change.
如果是经济不平等
If that issue was economic inequality
枪♥支♥或地铁
or, like, guns, or the subway,
我仍然会为拯救地球而战斗
I'd still spend my life fighting to save the planet,
但是 不 我或许不会...
but, no, I probably would not be
在麦迪逊广场洗冷水浴
taking a cold shower in Madison Square.
油管上大概有组装教程
There's probably a YouTube how-to for this.
排拍得...长的吓人
The line was-- was a bit ridiculous,
但我意识到该好好考虑
but I found it was a good time to, like,
我今天所听到的事了...
think about what I heard today...
给那个傻瓜打电♥话♥
Get that idiot on the phone.
我没办法 我没办法给他打电♥话♥
I can't. Well, I can't-- I can't get him on the phone,
因为他拖着不接
because he's stalling.
我们赢了
你好 我能不能
Hey, would it be possible
和哈达莎或者迪迪说句话吗
for me to talk to Hadassah or Dede?
没问题
Not a problem.
她们愿意和不认识
They love to talk to randos
但看着像上西区那些
who look like Upper West Side therapists
把绳结引入她们心理治疗中的咨♥询♥师谈话
who incorporate macramé into their sessions.
我今天早上和她们聊过
Um, I spoke with them this morning.
我志愿去做监票员...
I-- I volunteer as an election judge--
我不信任那些愿意不拿钱去干活的人
I don't trust people who are willing to work for no money.
他们图什么呢
I mean, what's in it for them?
这个太丑了
This is ugly.
我相信斯丹迪施参议员
I believe in Senator Standish,
-我希望她赢 -我也是
- and I want her to win. - So do I.
尽管我愿意用胜利
Though I'd trade victory
交换我们听到败选消息时
for a slow-motion video of Hadassah's face
哈达莎的脸部慢镜头
when she hears that we lost.
你们这不搞垃圾分类回收吗
You don't recycle here?
我去过本市的垃圾回收中心
I've toured the recycling centers in this city.
我来告诉你真♥相♥吧 那就是个骗局
Let me peel back that curtain for ya. It's a scam.
绝大多数的东西最后还是被埋到同一个填埋场
Most of the stuff ends up in the same landfill
或者卡到了一条鲸鱼的屁♥眼♥里
or lodged in some whale's anus.
不要吵 不要逃
No fight, no flight.
-来吧 我们走 -我们得搞到那辆大车
- Come on. Let's go. - We need to get the van.
我们得搞到那辆面包车
Okay, we need to get the van?
去运养老院那75个选民
and get those 75 votes at the retirement home.
-斯丹迪施参议员 -嗯
- Senator Standish? - Yes.
是我... 安迪
Hi. It's, uh-- It's Andi.
你有面包车吗
Do you have a van?
没有...
No, uh...
-我住在市里 我不开车 -我认出你了
- I live in the city, I don't drive a car. - Oh, I know you.
你是警告我们投票率问题的人
You are the one who tried to warn us about the voter turnout problem.
你说投票率没有问题
You said there wasn't a turnout problem.
-那个嘛... -那个嘛...
- Well... - Well...
-我们错了 -结果投票率确实是个问题
- We were wrong. - ...it turned out it was a problem.
马科斯 快接电♥话♥
Marcus, pick up.
是年轻人
It's young people.
我一上午都在投票站干活
I was working the voting station all morning.
30岁以下的选民和50岁以上的是二比一
It's two voters under 30 to every one over 50.
-我的天 -我女儿是纽约大学的学生
- Oh, God. - My daughter is a student at NYU.
美国历史上任期最长的国会议员共和党
退休时已有一百岁 曾坚决反对公民权利法案
在她们眼里 你和斯特罗姆·瑟蒙德的
To them, you and Strom Thurmond
差不多是一样的政♥治♥主张和政策
might as well have the same policies and beliefs.
你不过是个老妇人 根本不清楚什么才重要
You're some old lady who doesn't understand what's important.
不好意思 从她们还没出生起
Excuse me, we have been fighting for progressive causes
我们就在为进步事业奋斗了
since, frankly, before they were born.
我知道 可她们不了解
Oh, I know that, but they don't.
有好多孩子今天去投票了 还有好多没去
Look, lots of kids voted today. There are lots that didn't.
去她的学校 去亮个相
Go down to her campus. Show your face.
让他们投票给你
Get them to vote for you.
说服一个人 他们就会去拉十个人一起去
Convince one, and they will bring ten with them.
到基层去搞竞选
Little retail politics.
就像过去一样
Just like the old days.
我们走
Let's go.
-你要和我们一起去 -真的
- And you're coming with us. - Really?
来吧 一起去吧
Yeah, come on. Just come.
-真的 -上去 上车
- Yeah? - Get in. Get in the car.
我们在车里待了多久了
How long have we been in this car?
这可不太好
This is not a good idea.
我们是不是该下车走过去
Should we just get out and walk?
只有十个街区而已
We're, like, ten blocks away.
-好主意 -这真是个好主意
- That's a good idea. - Oh! That's a very good idea.
我的逸思步呢
Where are my Easy Spirits?
你没带着吗
Don't you have them?
-我为什么要带着 -因为是你的鞋啊
- Why would I have them? - Because they're your shoes.
三十年来
For three decades,
你一直负责我的竞选活动 一直是我的新闻发言人
you've run my campaigns, you've been my press secretary,
一直是你修改我的演讲稿
you've edited my speeches,
一直是你拿着我的口红
you have carried my goddamn lipstick
和逸思步的休闲鞋啊
and my Easy Spirit walking shoes.
难道你决定修改你工作内容的备忘录
Did I miss the memo where you decided to change
被我漏掉了
your job description?
原谅我 迪迪
Forgive me, Dede,
因为我们可能真的会
I'm just the tiniest bit distracted
意想不到地 被一帮自命不凡的
by the fact we may actually, shockingly,
占领道德制高点的小顽童打败
lose this election to a bunch of entitled,
我有一点点分心了
virtue-signaling little brats
他们居然想要在曼哈顿植树造林
who want to reforest Manhattan
还想在每栋房♥子弄一个蜂巢
and slap a beehive on the rooftop of every tenement in town!
天啊 该怎么回击这些不切实际的狗屁想法呢
Oh, my God, how do you counter such inauthentic bullshit?