政客

The Politician S02E02

Part 4 June 22, 2020, 1:26 p.m.

Dude, you did not just make a comment on my eating habits.
不是你想的那样的没人去世
It's not what you think. Nobody died.
让我暂时把时间倒回一年前
Let me rewind a second to my life one year ago.
没错我为了早点从哥伦比亚大学毕业拼命努力
Yes, I was busting my ass to graduate Columbia early.
没错我几乎每天都在学习
Yes, I spent most of my time studying,
但我也有爱好
but I had hobbies.
我有锻炼的习惯
I had an exercise routine.
更重要的是我有很多朋友
Most importantly, I had a bunch of friends
还有各种约会对象
and a bunch of dates.
我是否不想拥有一段认真的感情
Did I keep these mostly women but also some guys
才和这么多女人及一些男人保持距离的吗
at arm's length because I didn't want anything serious?
是的
Yes.
-但我一直感到很充实 -去死吧
- But my full life felt full. - Fuck that.
你去死吧我的生活很平衡
Fuck you! I had balance.
去年詹姆斯在纽约大学读大三
Last year, James was a junior at NYU.
他壁球打得很好这太奇怪了
He got really good at squash, which was so weird.
他很喜欢地下朋克聚会
He got really into the underground punk scene.
反对理想主义风格的音乐
他在和一个长得酷似艾丽斯的会计师谈恋爱
He had a relationship with a CPA who looked exactly like Alice
但他很快就甩了她
that he ended pretty quickly,
再重复一下平衡
but again, balance.
好了我们看看你的期末论文吧
Okay, let's take a look at your term paper.
斯凯是学校的狂热分子
Skye was the firebrand on campus,
听起来似乎大环境提倡
where it sounds like you're actually encouraged
和自己教授约会
to date your professors.
她还在当地的中学做一些演讲
And she did some speaking engagements at local high schools.
我的意思是
I guess what I'm saying is,
不管你有多沮丧
it doesn't matter how frustrated you get.
毒害他人解决不了问题
Poisoning people just isn't the answer.
她很快会发现自己在为曾经毒害过的男人工作了
She'd soon find herself working for the man she poisoned,
再次强调平衡
but again, balance.
快进到现在
Fast-forward to now.
我们都开始为佩顿工作了
We all started working for Payton
并陷入了有毒的恶性循环
and fell into a super toxic dynamic:
工作吃饭看剧昏睡
working, eating, watching Netflix, passing out.
日复一日我是因为这个才哭了
This is every night. That is why I'm crying.
我不明白那是凯莉·库克
I don't get it. That's Kaley Cuoco.
没错她在约会
Yeah, she's on a date.
明天我要出门
Tomorrow, I'm going out.
我要去吃晚餐然后去看一场剧
I'm going out to dinner, and then I'm going to see a play.
-听起来不错我们看什么 -我没邀请你
- That sounds great. What are we seeing? - You're not invited.
我要退出这个有毒的三人朋友圈
I am removing myself from this toxic friend triangle,
我要和探探上认识的人约会
and I am going on a date with someone from Tinder.
我还要和那个人做♥爱♥
And then I'm going to have sex with that person.
再见
Goodbye!
里弗去世三年了
River's been gone for three years,
我还是每天都想他
and I still think about him every day.
他真是个好人
He was such a good person.
不像我们
Not like us.
无意冒犯
No offense.
没关系
None taken.
但我觉得在他心里我们是好人
I think he thought we were good people, though.
我觉得再也不会有人像他那样看待我了
I don't think I'll ever find anyone who sees me like he saw me.
我怀念看他洗澡的时光但更怀念被爱的感觉
I miss watching him shower but mostly miss being loved
还有他看我的目光
and seen like that.
我的心理医生说我还没接受他的离开
My shrink says I haven't processed his death properly,
但我觉得这是因为我有太多模糊不清的记忆了
but I think it's just 'cause so much of my memory is so blurry.
那时我的药瘾很严重
Had a pretty impressive drug problem at the time.
你吃了什么药
What were you on?
安必恩阿普唑仑氯硝西泮
Ambien, Xanax, Klonopin.
安♥眠♥药♥和抗焦虑药
有一个常年用药的母亲的优势就是
The advantage of having a mother who's always high on pills
她从来不记得自己吃了多少药
is she can never remember how many she's taken,
所以从她那偷药很容易
so it's easy to steal from her.
倒不是说她拒绝给我药
Not that she wouldn't have just given them to me, anyway.
我不记得我们的三人行了
I don't remember our threesome.
真的吗
Really?
你当时兴致很高啊
You seemed very present and into it.
我非常擅长假装
Faking it is my superpower.
你能跟我讲讲当时的细节吗
Will you tell me about it? In detail?
比如我们是否做了不止一次
Like, did we do it more than once?
不只有一次
No, just the one time.
我们开了一个房♥间以确保没人会来打扰
We got a hotel room so we could be sure no one disturbed us.
为了冷静下来我们喝了几杯烈酒
We did some shots of Everclear to calm down.
我们都有点紧张
We were all a little nervous.
里弗建议我们或许能放松自我
River suggested that we might loosen up
如果听着迷幻皮草乐队的音乐跳舞
if we danced to the Psychedelic Furs.
一如往常他说得没错
As usual, he was right.
我想我们都只想让他开心
I think we both just wanted to make him happy.
他似乎很喜欢看我们亲热所以
And he seemed to really enjoy watching us, so...
我吻了你
I kissed you,
我们开始在床上亲热
and we were all making out on the bed.
我在你身上
I was on top of you,
-然后他从我身后抱住我 -天呐他插♥你♥菊花了吗
- then he moved behind me. - Oh my God, did he put it in your butt?
我以为他会但是
I thought he was going to, but...
他没有
he didn't.
我觉得他这么想过
I think he was thinking about it,
但之后我低头看着你
but then I looked down at your face,
你突然变得...非常生气
and you suddenly got... really angry.
然后呢
Then what happened?
没什么你把自己锁进了卫生间
Nothing. You locked yourself in the bathroom.
他敲了几分钟的门
He knocked on the door for a few minutes
直到你让他进去
until you let him in.
你们在里面谈了一会然后
You guys talked in there for a while, and then...
你们都走了
you both left.
等等所以那晚没人做♥爱♥了
Wait, so no one actually had sex that night?
完全没有插入
No penetration at all?
没有
No.
人们总说三人行有个问题
They always say that's the problem with a threesome.
总有人要含泪而归
Someone always ends up in tears.
那晚你和我都哭了
That night, you and I both did.
你为什么哭
Why did you cry?
我不像喜欢女人那样喜欢里弗
I wasn't attracted to River in that way.
我只想感到
I just wanted to feel...
和他亲近
close to him.
能感到...
You know, to feel...
和他亲密
intimate with him.
但是
And...
却没发生
it didn't happen.
你为什么哭
Why'd you cry?
我只知道在那晚后我毫无疑问地知道
All I know is that after that night, I knew without a doubt...
他对我的爱永远不会多过对你的爱
he loved you more than he could ever love me.
我威胁要出柜他
I threatened to out him.
尽管我知道他不是同性恋
Even though I knew he wasn't gay, either.
我觉得他都不是双性恋
I don't even think he was bisexual.
这依然让我愧疚
That still haunts me.
我也想相信这与他的自杀无关
I want to believe it had nothing to do with his suicide.
我知道他不是同性恋
I knew he wasn't gay.
他只想去所有人亲近
He just wanted to be close to everyone.
而我们也只想与他亲近
And we just wanted to be close to him.
我现在落后37%了
So, I'm actually 37 points down now,
意味着即使迪迪·斯丹迪施
which means that even if Dede Standish
从现在到选举日之间突然暴毙
were to die between now and the election,
我大概也无法胜选所以
I probably still couldn't make up the ground. So...
你会怎么做
what would you do?
-我很抱歉 -不我...
- I'm sorry. - No, I--
我只是你不觉得我们在一起
I just-- Don't you think that being together
能成为再次与他亲近的最好方法吗
would be the closest we could get to being with him again?
他爱我们两人
He loved us both.
他走了阿斯特丽德
He's gone, Astrid.
-抱歉 -别这样
- Sorry. - No.
我不信任她