政客

The Politician S02E01

Part 7 June 22, 2020, 1:25 p.m.

经典配方但不要太甜对吧
Old-fashioned, not too sweet, right?
-对那个或... -来杯马提尼吧多加了橄榄
- Yes. Uh, that or-- - Martini up. Extra olives.
我有这行最顶尖的对手调查员
I have the top oppo researchers in the game.
我是提诺·麦卡琴
I'm Tino McCutcheon,
伟大得州的新科参议员
junior senator for the great state of Texas.
对我在电视上见过你
Yes, I believe I've seen you on television.
你在比赛铁人三项吗
Were you doing some sort of triathlon?
就我俩私下说说
Well, between you and I,
我打算竞选下任总统
I'm positioning myself for a presidential run next year.
我的顾问觉得我应该好好利用
My advisers feel it's wise to lean into
我的男子气概和性吸引力所以
my virility and sex appeal, so...
赤膊政客能产生价值数百万的宣传资金
a shirtless politician produces millions in free advertising.
我会记住的
I'll keep that in mind.
那你来这干什么
So, what brings you here?
筹款吗希望不是
Fundraising? I hope not.
这些开着豪车的自♥由♥党人激♥情♥洋溢
These limousine liberals are full of passion
直到你让他们写支票捐款
until you ask them to write a check.
也不是我想给你个提议
Not exactly. I have a proposal for you.
我有对象了
I'm seeing someone...
我想是吧
I think.
不是那种提议
Not that kind of proposal.
我妻子两年前陷入了昏迷
My wife slipped into a coma two years ago.
旋毛虫病的严重并发症
Complications from a severe case of trichinosis.
旋毛虫病
因服用带旋毛虫的猪肉而患的病
医生不知道她能否醒来
They don't know if she'll ever wake up,
就算醒来了也很可能有脑损伤
and even if she does, there will most certainly be brain damage.
你真是个好丈夫守护在她身边
Well, you're a very good husband for staying by her side.
我丈夫只陷入了昏迷一周
My husband slipped into a coma for a week,
我就已经一只脚踏出家门了
and I was one foot out the door.
我不想这么说但这对我的政♥治♥事业很有好处
Well, I hate to say it, but it's been great for me, politically.
我一直在关注你的竞选
I've been paying attention to your campaign.
你很有天赋
You have a gift.
这个嘛
Well...
不知为何人们总会觉得我很有意思
people have always found me interesting, for some reason.
我父亲说人格魅力无法教授
My father said you can't teach charisma.
他肯定知道他是个大胖子
He would have known. He was a great big fat man,
女人们却趋之若鹜
and the ladies couldn't keep away.
对如今竞选不靠想法获胜了
Yeah. Ideas don't win campaigns anymore.
价值观也肯定不行
Values certainly don't.
如今当选的人
Nowadays, the guy who gets elected
是那个最受关注的人
is the guy who gets the most attention.
要是PT·巴纳姆还活着他就能成下任总统了
P. T. Barnum would be our next president if he were alive.
美国传奇马戏团大亨《马戏之王》中主角的原型
我从来不喜欢马戏团
I never liked the circus.
可怜的大象
Those poor elephants.
我打算一鸣惊人
I'm looking to make a splash
并区别于其他的候选人
and separate myself from the other candidates
通过尽早宣布我的竞选搭档
by announcing my running mate early.
我希望那个人是你
I'd like to offer the position to you.
天呐
Good Lord,
这主意太糟了
that's a terrible idea.
我觉得我在爱荷华州或威斯康星州应该很不受欢迎
I-- I don't think I would play very well in Iowa or Wisconsin.
我是个水象星座
I'm a water sign.
我们不需要他们
We don't need 'em.
你算算选举人团
Just do the Electoral College math.
如果我们拿下得州加州
If we take Texas, California,
弗罗里达密歇根和纽约
Florida, Michigan, and New York,
我们就能锁定足够的忠实蓝党人员
we can cobble together enough of the forever-blue
拿下270个席位
to make it to 270.
副总统现在不是虚职了
The VP is a real job now.
你还能完成我的环保竞选
You could spearhead my environmental campaign.
那是什么
And what is that?
我还没有
I don't have one yet.
所以我需要你
That's why I need you.
还有什么原因
Why else?
说实话我也说不清
Honestly, I don't know exactly.
我只是看到了你在辩论上的表现
I just know I saw you at that debate,
自那以后就无法停止想你
and I have not stopped thinking about you since.
我们去吃点鸡尾冷虾吧
Shall we go get a shrimp cocktail?
好了
All right.
我们试了没有你的生活
We tried it without you.
但那就像用一只手鼓掌
And it was like clapping with one hand.
-我们爱你威廉 -我也爱你们
- We love you, William. - Well, I love you,
所以我永远不会阻挡你们
which means I would never get in the way
实现自己的梦想
of all your dreams coming true.
我受够了
I am so tired
只因为我是女人就被人用不同的标准
of having my personal life judged by a different criteria
评判我的私生活
because I'm a woman.
如果一个男人自豪地宣布
If a man came out and proudly proclaimed
他在实行一夫多妻制
that he was in a polyamorous relationship
还有两位聪明美丽的妻子
with two brilliant and beautiful women,
公众和媒体肯定会称他为英雄
the public and the press would call him a hero.
记得沃伦·巴菲特吗
Remember Warren Buffet?
股神巴菲特与两任妻子同住一个屋檐下
等等你是说你要公开吗
Wait, are you saying you-- you want to go public?
不不暂时不
No, no. Not-- Not yet.
我需要你们两人才能做最好的自己
I need both of you to be my best self,
我需要做最好的自己才能赢
and I need to be my best self in order to win.
我一股龙虾腥臭
I stink of lobster.
吻我
Kiss me.
然后...像黄油一样融化我
And... melt me like butter.
我们走
Let's go.
早间咨♥询♥公♥司♥怎么说
What does Morning Consult say?
你又下降了九个百分点
You've dropped another nine points.
她有48%支持率你有19%
Forty-eight percent her, 19 percent you,
-其他人未定 -好我们需要想法各位赶紧
- the rest undecided. - Okay, we need ideas, people, right now.
-现在不是个好时机 -我挖到黑料了
- Hey, uh, now really isn't a good time. - I have dirt.
坐下各位都出去清空房♥间
Sit down. Everybody out, please. Clear the room.
清空房♥间谢谢
Clear the room. Thank you.
首先我要你的办公室
First, I want your office.
-什么 -你的办公室
- What? - Your office.
我想要
I want it.
行
F-- Fine.
我不知道发生了什么他们雇了谁
I don't know what happened, who they hired,
但斯丹迪施的竞选已不再是90年代竞选了
but the Standish campaign is not stuck in the '90s anymore.
他们安装了最先进的IT设备
They've installed state-of-the-art IT,
他们雇了华府的顾问公♥司♥
they've hired a K-Street consulting firm,
为他们租了一整层楼负责社交媒体
who's rented out a whole floor for social media
和一个新的数据团队
and another for the new data team.
-我们完蛋了 -这怎么算黑料呢
- We're fucked. - How is that dirt?
耐心点
Patience.
但我挖得更深
But I've gotten in deep.
我送了哈达莎和迪迪每人一只招财猫
I gave Hadassah and Dede each one of those little waving cats
在唐人街就能买♥♥到
you get in Chinatown,
不过这些小猫举着竞选标牌
but the little cats are holding campaign signs.
她们爱死了
They loved them.
迪迪拿了两只一只在办公室一只在家
Dede took two, one for her office and one for her home.
天呐你不会吧
Oh, my God, you didn't.
对我♥干♥了
Yes, I did.
每只猫里面都藏有无线传送器
Inside each cat is a wireless transmitter.
-对那他算什么 -我在窃听他们
- Yes, but then, what is he? - I'm bugging them.
在我们唐人街的猫咪朋友帮助下
And with the help of my little Chinese kitten friends,
我知道了两件事
I've learned two things--
打住打住我们在窃听
Okay, hold on, hold on. We are bugging
我们的政坛对手了吗
our political opponents now?
大家都还记得理查德·尼克松的事情吗
Everybody remember how well that went for Richard Nixon?
水门事件窃听风暴
好吗
Okay?
听着无论你发现了什么我不想知道
Look, what-- whatever you found out, I don't want to know.
别假装自己出淤泥而不染了
Oh, quit pretending you're not as slimy as the rest of them.
帮我们个忙大方承认吧
Do us all a favor and just embrace it.
哈达莎拆散了三人行