政客

The Politician S02E03

Part 4 June 26, 2020, 9:01 a.m.

我没看到你的任何努力佩顿
I don't see you doing anything, Payton.
你选择了这个"议题" 对吧
You've taken on this "issue," right?
也许出发点是好的
Possibly in good faith,
但你言行不一
but your actions don't match your rhetoric.
如果这事传出去
And if that were to get out,
不仅会破坏你竞选的可信度
not only would it destroy the credibility of your campaign
还会破坏整个环保运动的可信度
but also the credibility of the movement as a whole,
而我
and I...
我无法容忍♥这种事发生
I will not stand for that.
-那是什么 -这是清单
- What's that? - Oh, this is a checklist.
你们可以遵循这15个简单的步骤
Fifteen simple steps that you guys can take
实现"零垃圾" 并把你们的碳足迹
to zero out waste and reduce your carbon footprint
完全降到最低
to an absolute minimum.
等等你想让我实现"零垃圾"
Hold up. You're asking me to go zero waste?
并把你的碳足迹降到最低
And reduce your carbon footprint to an absolute minimum.
斯凯也要这么做
Skye has to, too.
展示你对环保运动的身体力行
Demonstrate your commitment to the movement,
否则我会告诉所有人你是骗子然后你就会
or I will tell everybody you're a fraud, and you will be...
出局了
canceled.
等等什么
Wait, what?
佩顿这是为了你好
Payton, this is for your own good.
而且如果你想要我的帮助
And if you want my support
还有我无数追随者的支持
and the support of my many, many, many followers,
这就是代价
this is my price.
"只能洗冷水浴塞上浴缸塞
"Cold showers only, with plug in tub.
剩下的水可用于做饭清洁和饮用"
Use leftover water for cooking, cleaning, and drinking"?
没错只要烧开就能喝
Yeah, you just boil it.
我现在是素食主义者了吗
I'm vegan now?
-英菲尼蒂这太疯狂了 -狂简单
- Infinity, this is insane. - Insanely simple!
我希望你们能在一天之内彻底做到
I want full compliance in 24 hours.
佩顿别再给我随便介绍对象了
Payton, please stop going around town peddling dates with me
好像约会是报酬一样
like it's some weird form of currency.
令人作呕而且有毒明白吗
It's gross, and it's toxic, okay?
再见了各位拜拜
I'll see you guys later. K, bye!
不是吧迪迪
Oh, no. Dede!
-这是什么时候拍的 -不清楚
- When is this from? - I don't know.
看起来是从他手♥机♥里拿到的
It looks like somebody took it off his cell phone.
估计也就是几周前的事
It couldn't be more than a couple of weeks ago.
这孩子哪根筋搭错了
What the hell is wrong with this kid?
他好像有种极其特别的癖好之类的
He seems to have some kind of super-specific fetish or something.
你知道这是谁给我们的吗
Do we have any idea who's sending us these messages?
一匹汗血宝马朝我们飞奔而来
A gift horse comes galloping in here,
你却在顾忌是谁骑过来的
and you're worried about who's riding it?
如果有人黑了他的手♥机♥
If someone hacked his cell phone,
我们就是在持有赃物了
we are in possession of stolen material.
好吧
Okay, okay.
但那不代表我们不能利用它
But that doesn't mean we can't use it to our advantage.
你照做了吗
Did you do it?
-让我看看 -看什么
- Let me see it. - See what?
别装傻给我看看你的清单
Don't play dumb. Let me see it, your checklist.
为什么我都做完了
Why? I did them all.
-胡说 -我对天发誓
- Bullshit. - I swear to God.
好那我们可以核对一下清单吧
Okay. Let's compare checklists, then, shall we?
我看一下
Let's see.
找到了蠕虫农场和堆肥桶
Here we are, worm farm and compost bin.
完成完成今早就到了
Check, check. Arrived this morning.
蠕虫正在吃装它们的盒子
The worms are currently eating the boxes they came in.
你还没把所有衣服都手洗
You have not handwashed all your clothing.
是的我穿的这件没洗就穿了所以
Yes, well, this outfit I am rewearing, so...
我闻起来有点味儿
I do smell a little bit,
但我没有破坏规矩
but I'm not breaking rules
因为我到时候会亲自手洗
because when I wash it, I will handwash it.
我还关掉了宿舍的暖气安了LED节能灯
I also turned off the heat in my dorm room, installed LED lights,
我还在二手店买♥♥了这双袜子
and I got these socks at a thrift shop.
不能用纸巾所以
No tissues, so...
-手帕 -手帕
- Handkerchief! - ...handkerchief!
好吧
Okay.
素食沙拉
Vegan salad.
我弄了一个节流淋浴喷头
I got a low-flow showerhead.
我偷偷爬到宿舍房♥顶在那放了个接雨桶
I snuck onto the roof of my dorm and put a rain barrel up there.
在暖气片后面放了铝箔纸
Aluminum foil behind the radiators.
还有可重复使用的杯子吸管打包盒
Reusable cup, straw, to-go container.
我还支付了国际航协不菲的金额
And I paid a handsome sum to the IATA
来抵消我乘坐过的
to offset the carbon emissions
所有航♥班♥的碳排放
from every flight I have ever been on.
综上我全做到了
So, done.
了不起啊
Impressive.
我看一下
Let's see.
那么
What about...
第十五条呢
number 15?
不我觉得这些就是全部的十五条了
Yeah, no. I think those were all 15.
等等我看一下我就直接读了
Wait, let me see. I'm just gonna read it.
"用你剩下的洗澡水
"Use your leftover shower water
饮用做饭做清洁"
for drinking, cooking, and cleaning."
不行斯凯我做不到这个
Okay. No, Skye, no. I can't do that.
这太疯狂了好吗
That's insane, all right?
我生活中唯一的乐趣就是洗个
My one pleasure in life is taking
悠然自得可以撸的热水澡了
long, hot, masturbatory showers,
这点我绝不会妥协懂吗这能有什么问题
and I will not be giving that up, okay? How's this even a problem?
水已经在楼下的
The water gets heated up downstairs
开水房♥里加热过了
in the fucking boiler room anyway.
就算我不用也会有其他人用的
If I don't use it, somebody else will.
然后呢我难道要留下刚用过的洗澡水
Then what? I'm supposed to save the water that I've just bathed in
把它烧开再喝下去吗
so that I can boil it and drink it?
听起来像是北朝鲜再教育营的作风
That's like something out of a North Korean reeducation camp.
没人应该被迫这么做
No one should have to do that.
好吗那样不卫生
All right? That is not sanitary.
你个满嘴谎言言行不一的烂人
You lying, phony piece of shit.
斯凯斯凯
Skye... Skye!
你知道我早上洗了个冷水澡吗
You know who took a cold shower this morning
还是站在一个小桶里
and stood in a little bin
然后把剩下的水烧开了
and boiled the water that was left over?
-你不是吧 -我就是那么做了
- You didn't. - Oh, I did.
然后我用那些水泡了咖啡你知道吗
And I made my coffee with it. And you know what?
那东西喝起来恶心的要命
That shit tasted disgusting!
好吧我们可以说我那么做了
Okay. We can just say I did it.
混账东西不行
Motherfucker, no!
我被逼的都把洗澡水烧开喝下去了
I had to boil and drink my own booty water!
如果我必须这么做你也逃不掉
If I have to do it, so do you.
-不 -把你的屁♥股♥从椅子上挪开
- No. - Get your ass out of that chair right now.
-我们现在去你的宿舍 -没门我不会那么做
- We're going to your dorm. - No way. I'm not doing it. I'm not doing it.
好吧没问题
Okay, cool.
看来我只能给英菲尼蒂打电♥话♥了
Guess I'm just gonna have to call Infinity.
英菲尼蒂找到她的号♥码了
Infinity. That's her number.
我在拨号♥了马上...
I'm dialing, and--
好吧行我去就是了
Okay, fine! I'll do it!
好样的现在的时间也正合适
Attaboy. And it's the perfect time of day, too.
一杯可口的洗澡水咖啡能让你马上振作起来
A nice cup of booty coffee gonna perk you right up.
-我为你骄傲 -闭嘴简直太疯狂了
- I'm proud of you. - Shut up. This is insane.
好吧你会给我计时吧就两分钟
Okay, okay, you're gonna time it, right? Just two minutes.
你能做到的佩顿痛苦都是你幻想出来的
You can do this, Payton. Pain is all in your mind, you know?
马上你就能拥有
And you're gonna have a nice,
一杯香浓可口的咖啡了
fragrant cup of coffee coming your way.
闭嘴我需要集中精力
Shut up. I need to concentrate.
好吧打开水吧没事的
Okay, just turn it on. That's fine.
你来开好吗打开吧赶紧打开吧
You do it, okay? Turn it on. Just turn it on.
好的
All right.
好了不不不我做不到
Okay! No, no, no! No, I'm not doing it.
我后悔了我做不到
I'm not doing that, I'm not doing that.
-懂吗不行 -好吧可以
- Okay? No. - Okay. All right.