中产家庭（2009）

The Middle S08E03

Part 3 Feb. 3, 2021, 11:02 a.m.

How can I put this?
我怎么说好呢?
You're a strong cup of coffee.
你是一杯浓咖啡
So, you want to live with him?
所以你乐意跟你♥爸♥过
He's boring!
他太无聊了!
I bring vim and verve to this family.
我给家里带来生气活力
I'm like a three-ring circus compared to this guy.
跟他比起来我就是个马戏团
He's like watching a Jerry Lewis movie
他的生活就像是看Jerry Lewis的电影
and skipping through all the Jerry Lewis parts.
而且还要把Jerry Lewis的部分快进
Who?
那是谁?
Forget it. Geez.
算了天呐
Although I want to know why all of you guys think
不过我想知道为什么你们都认为
it would be so hard to live with me.
跟我一起生活会很糟糕
I don't know. You honk a lot.
我不知道你开车经常按喇叭
You're always saying, "What's the haps?"
你经常说"什么鬼?"
And then there's your clapping.
还有你鼓掌的时候
My clapping? What's wrong with my clapping?
我鼓掌? 我鼓掌有什么问题?
It's got this really weird pitch to it,
你的鼓掌会产生一种怪异的高音
and it's really... Loud.
而且真的很... 吵
Yeah, it's like you hate your hands.
好像你跟你的手有什么仇似的
That's why I didn't want to watch the finale
这就是我不想跟你一起看
of "The Bachelor" With you.
《单身汉》的原因
So, I'm just the annoying mom
噢我就是讨人嫌鼓掌声音很吵
who claps too loud and is excitable.
又容易激动的老妈子
Why don't you start making a list
你们怎么不列张你们老妈讨人厌之处
of all the things you don't like about me?
的清单呢?
Don't start a list.
别列清单
Okay, you guys, maybe we should all just live with Mom.
嘿大家伙也许我们都应该和妈妈一起生活
I got to stay with Dad.
我还是要跟着爸
He's the one who would keep the house
老爸会分到房♥子
and I'm really starting to like your room.
因为我开始喜欢你的房♥间了
Why does Dad get to keep the house?
为什么房♥子归给老爸?
Well, he's got all the kids.
孩子归谁房♥子归谁
Look, this whole conversation is pointless
我们说这些都没有意义
because nobody's getting divorced.
又没人真的打算离婚
Don't be so sure.
那可不一定
You know why they want to live with you.
你知道为啥他们想跟着你过?
Cause they know nothing about you.
因为他们都不了解你
Huh. No, I'm serious.
我说真的
What do we really know about him? Hmm?
你们了解他点啥? 啊?
Once a week he eats sardines on crackers and he likes the Colts.
每周吃一次沙丁鱼缀饼干还喜欢小马队
Don't you see what's happening here?
你们看出来了吗?
He's winning because he's silent.
他赢的你们喜爱是因为他保持沉默
He's a statue.
他就是个石像
I'm the one who tells him, "Go talk to your son.
是我总是提醒他去跟你儿子谈谈
See how your daughter likes college."
去看看闺女觉得她的学校如何
He's a puppet.
他就是个木偶
I'm just sticking my hand up there and making him talk.
我要把手伸进他身体里让他开口说话
I'm Wayland Flowers and he's Madame.
我是 Wayland Flowers 他是那个木偶
Who?
那是谁?
The ventriloquist on the "Hollywood Squares."
"好莱坞广场"节目里的腹语表演者
What's "Hollywood Squares"? What's a ventriloquist?
"好莱坞广场"是什么? 腹语表演者是什么?
Okay, I'm the one who's always done everything for you.
好吧我才是那个为你们做尽一切事的人
I wiped your noses. I wiped your butts.
我帮你擦鼻子擦屁♥股♥
You know what? Go ahead.
你们猜怎么着? 随你们吧
You want to live with your dad, live with your dad.
你想和你♥爸♥住就去和他住吧
But guess what.
但你知道吗
He doesn't like to shop,
他不喜欢购物
so all that stuff you're eating right there,
所以你现在吃的所有东西
I'm just gonna take it away.
我都要拿走
Yep. That's right.
是的就是这样
This is what it's like living with your dad.
和你♥爸♥住就是这个样子
Sardines and silence.
沙丁鱼罐头和沉默
So, that's what you guys want, well, then you can be...
所以如果这就是你们想要的那你们就可以...
April. Hey.
April 嘿
Just serving the family breakfast.
我正在准备家庭早餐呢
Kind of a Monday morning tradition.
差不多算是我们周一早上的传统
Here you go.
给你
Here you go, sweetheart.
给你宝贝
So, yeah, you know, moms are abused.
所以你知道的母亲都是受虐待的
But the best that you can do is role-model good behavior
但你最好的办法就是成为行为楷模
and just kill them with kindness.
然后用和善使他们羞愧而死
Hey, Axl. Nice costume.
嘿 Axl 服装不错
What are you, an oldtimey army captain?
你在扮谁一个旧时的上尉?
I'm Prince Charming. God.
我扮的是白马王子天啊
Or I could just kill 'em.
我也可以直接弄死他们
So, you and April going to a party or something?
你和April要去聚会什么的吗?
Well, I wanted to go to a party, but April thought it'd be fun
我想去聚会但是April认为我们装扮好后
to dress up and hand out candy to kids,
给小孩子们发糖会很有趣
so I'm doing that 'cause when you love someone,
所以我要听她的因为当你爱某人的时候
you're nice to them.
你就会对他们好
God. Move, Mom!
天啊闪开老妈!
Hey, Brick. Going out tonight, huh?
嘿 Brick 今晚出去吗?
Are you gonna be out, like, the whole night?
你会嗯整晚都在外面吗?
Uh... no.
恩... 不
Actually, I'm not.
实际上不会
Really?
真的吗?
You're not going trick-or-treating?
你不是出去要糖吗?
No, ma'am.
不女士
Then why are you dressed like a bowling pin?
那你为什么穿的像个保龄球瓶?
No reason.
不为什么
Huh. Seems like an odd choice of wardrobe just for hanging out.
恩穿这个出去玩似乎挺奇怪的
Well, the rest of my clothes are in the laundry.
我剩下的衣服都洗了
That is a very plausible story.
这真是个令人信服的理由
It's why I said it.
所以我才这么说
Okay, then.
好吧
I am going to take out the trash
我要去扔垃圾了
because everything makes sense here.
一切都挺正常的哈
Yeah.
是的
Aah!
啊!
Open this door!
开门!
What the hell is going on in here?
这里到底发生什么了?
Brick stole Tina.
Brick偷走了Tina
He won't give it back... She's going back to college anyway.
他不肯还回来... 她反正要回大学的
...and he said the summer's not over and he's wrong!
...而且他说夏天还没过完但他是错的!
Hey! That's it.
嘿！够了
Everyone's going back to their original rooms.
每个人都回自己原来的房♥间
And no more naming things that shouldn't have names.
而且不要再给不该有名字的东西命名了
The name of this room is room!
这个房♥间的名字就是房♥间！
Frankie!
Frankie!
You're not gonna believe what these numbnuts did.
你不会相信这两个笨蛋做了什么的
Dad, if you'll just listen to me,
爸爸如果你听我说
it is not my fault! She knocked me over with a basketball!
这不是我的错! 她用篮球砸我!
I don't want to hear it!
我不想听!
Mom, it is not fair.
妈妈这不公平
I gave Brick my room, and now I have a broken door
我给了Brick我的房♥间但现在我的门坏了
and a hole in the wall!
墙上还有一个洞!
I'm sorry I did that, Sue,
我很抱歉我那么做了 Sue
and maybe I held onto your room too long.
而且可能我是占着那个房♥间太长时间了
But you know what? At least you have a room.
但你知道吗? 至少你有一个房♥间
I don't have anything of my own.
我没有任何属于自己的东西
No baby pictures, clothes from the cousin box.
没有婴儿时期的照片衣服都是表兄弟的
I don't even have a chair at the dinner table.
我甚至在餐桌边都没有自己的椅子
None of you have walked in my shoes.
你们都都不会站在我的立场考虑下
I don't even walk in my shoes!
我连穿的鞋子都不是自己的!
I walk in Cousin Jared's shoes.
我穿的是堂兄Jared的鞋子
I don't know why you guys are telling me this.
我不知道你们为什么要跟我讲这个
You should tell the guy you chose to live with.
你们应该跟要跟你们住在一起的家伙说
What?
什么?
I'm just saying, you're only gonna see me
讲真你们只会在
on weekends and every other Christmas,
周末和隔一年的圣诞见到我