最后一个男人（2015）

The Last Man On Earth S01E09

Part 1 Dec. 2, 2020, 2:05 p.m.

Previously on The Last Man on Earth...
《最后一个男人》前情提要
Look what I did.
看看我棒吧
Big news, everyone!
重大消息各位
I'm finally moving in with my husband!
我终于要搬去跟我老公一起住了
Isn't this great?
是不是很棒啊
The best.
棒呆了
Carol... Carol!
卡萝尔卡萝尔
Is everything okay?
怎么了
You were making that sound again.
你又发出那种声音了
All right. I gotta tighten up the mask.
好吧那我把面罩弄紧点
Just... I like to wear it loose so I don't get pressure sores.
为了避免长褥疮我一般都戴得很松
But it's a... trade-off, huh?
但互相体谅嘛对吧
Yeah, yeah-- do you have to wear that thing all the time?
是啊你一直都戴着那玩意儿吗
Oh, Phil-- sleep apnea's a part of who I am.
菲尔睡眠呼吸暂停器是我人生的一部分
Just like dandruff and aggressive night toots
就像头皮屑和晚上震天的嘟嘟声
are a part of who you are.
是你人生的一部分一样
Okay. Well, fine.
好吧
Just please tighten the mask.
那你记得把面罩弄紧点
Yes, my prince. Okay.
遵命王子殿下好吧
Okay.
好了
Hey, Phil,
菲尔
living together's pretty fun, isn't it?
住在一起真挺好的对吧
Yeah. Yeah.
是啊是啊
Quick good night kiss?
给我一个晚安吻呗
Good night.
安安
Good night.
晚安
Carol?
卡萝尔
What did you do to the Monet?
你对莫奈的画做了什么
Well, this old thing didn't have any life in it,
这玩意上一点生机都没有
so I painted a fun little dog on it.
所以我在上面画了一只可爱的小狗
I saw that.
我看见了
Hi there, little guy.
你好呀小家伙
I call it Dog Bridge, by Monet and Carol.
这幅画叫《狗之桥》莫奈和卡萝尔合作
Isn't it better?
是不是好多了
No, it is not.
不并没有
Please don't paint on my paintings.
请不要再在我的画上乱涂鸦了
Wait, where are all my magazines?
等等我的杂♥志♥都去哪儿了
Oh, you mean the dirty magazines.
你是说你的小黄书吗
Yes. Where are those?
是啊都去哪儿了
They're in the garage in a box labeled "Molested Girls."
在车♥库♥里一个标着"骚娘们"的盒子里
Can you please not move my stuff anymore?
你能别乱动我的东西吗
Phil, we're living together,
菲尔我们现在住在一起
so it's no longer "my" stuff and "your" stuff
所以没有什么你的东西我的东西之分
now it's "our" stuff.
现在只有我们的东西
Fine. Well, please don't move "our" dirty magazines anymore
好吧那请你不要乱动我们的小黄书了
because "we" like them in this room
因为我们比较喜欢把书放在这个房♥间里
where "we" can get at them more easily.
好方便我们随时都可以拿到
Well, marriage is about compromise,
婚姻就是不断的折中妥协
so why don't we meet in the middle here, huh?
不如我们也折中一下
Why don't you try...
不如你试试
this on for size.
这个怎么样
A breast exam pamphlet?
乳腺检查手册
Do your worst.
你尽情撸
Carol, I don't want to masturbate to a breast exam pamphlet!
卡萝尔我才不会对着乳腺检查手册撸管
Phil! Did you wash your hands with the decorative hand soap?
菲尔你用装饰用洗手皂洗手了吗
That's for company!
那是摆着好看招待客人用的
What company are we gonna have?
我们能有什么客人啊
There are only two other people on Earth!
除了我们就只剩两个人了啊
Well, when they're over here,
那他们过来做客的时候
they deserve to be pampered.
我们要好好招待他们啊
If you have a problem with my soap use,
如果你对我用洗手皂不爽的话
you can go write it up on the grievance board.
那你就写到抱怨板上去
If I can find any room!
要是还有位置我早写了
It's already filled with complaints about you.
上面都挤满了对你的埋怨
Well, if I'm so bad, then why do you want to live with me?
如果我这么糟糕你干嘛非要和我住在一起
Because you're my husband, and I'm your wife.
因为你是我丈夫我是你妻子
And you better get used to it.
你最好习惯这个关系
Where you going? To get used to it!
你去哪儿去习惯这个关系
Well, pick up a new attitude while you're at it.
那你最好态度好一点
I will!
我会的
Oh, and toilet paper.
还有带点厕纸回来
Oh, and decorative hand soap. You know what?
还有装饰用洗手皂算了
I'm just gonna make a quick list-- hold on one second.
我去给你写个单子你等一下
Stupid shopping list.
去你妹的购物单
I'm just evening it out, up here.
上面再帮你整理一下
Let me see.
让我看看
Okay. You ready? Yes.
你准备好了吗好了
Are you sure? I don't know.
你确定吗我也不知道
I love it!
我好喜欢哦
I think you look great.
我觉得你看起来美呆了
You look great.
你也是
Look at that. Cutest couple on the culdesac.
看呐我们是这鬼地方最有爱的夫妇了
Okay, let's see.
看看
Toilet paper, check.
厕纸有了
Decorative hand soap, check.
装饰用洗手皂有了
Paper towels, check.
纸巾有了
Coffee filters, check.
咖啡滤纸有了
Lighter fluid, check.
打火机液有了
Matches, check.
火柴有了
There you go, Carol!
去死吧卡萝尔
I finished your stupid shopping list!
你购物单上的我都买♥♥好了
Will you let me have my life back now?
你能让我过回正常日子了吗
Oh, you're just up there laughing at me, God, aren't you?
你就知道在上面笑我上帝对吧
Why did you do this?!
你为什么这么对我
Why'd you make it seem like
你为什么让我错以为
Carol was the last woman on Earth
卡萝尔是地球上最后一个女人
and then introduce me to Melissa?!
结果你又让我遇到了梅丽莎
And then you bring freakin' Todd into the picture?!
最后你♥他♥妈♥又弄来了一个陶德
Oh, so funny, God!
你真有意思上帝
I forgot to laugh!
我忘了笑笑了
So funny.
很有意思
I was being sarcastic.
我说反话呢
If I only knew then what I know now.
千金难买♥♥早知道啊
I just wish I could have a do-over.
真希望能从头再来
I wish I could have a do-over.
真希望能从头再来
Oh, my God! Oh!
我的天哪
This is amazing!
太不可思议了
We're not alone!
还有活人
I-I'm Gail. This is Erica.
我叫盖尔她是艾瑞卡
Oh, my God. Hi-hi, Gail. Hi, Erica. I'm Phil!
天呐你好盖尔你好艾瑞卡我是菲尔
So were you the one who put up
就是你树的那些
those "Alive in Tucson" billboards?
"图森还有活人"的标牌吗
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Those were mine.
是啊是啊都是我放的
I-I... I did that.
是啊就是我
So, it's just you?
你是一个人吗
You're-you're all alone out here?
你是一个人住在这里吗
Yes. Yes, yes. It's just me.
是啊是啊只有我一个人
It's just me.
只有我
Do you mind?
你们介意吗
No! Aw!
当然不
Can't believe how alone I've been.
你们无法想象我之前有多孤单
You know, just two years, all by my lonesome.
两年了我一个人独自熬过来了
Oh, you poor thing. Yeah.
真是好可怜是啊
Well, you're not alone anymore. We're here now.
你不用再怕孤单了我们来了
Yeah. You are.
是啊你们来了
This is us.
我们到了
To a man being alive!
敬还活着的男人
Alive in Tucson!
图森还有活人
And then there were three!
现在我们有三个人了
This champagne is good!
这香槟口感真是太棒了