最后一个男人（2015）

The Last Man On Earth S01E06

Part 1 Dec. 2, 2020, 2:04 p.m.

Previously on The Last Man On Earth.
《最后一个男人》前情提要
We think you should repopulate with Melissa.
我们觉得你也应该跟梅丽莎一起繁衍后代
And you're okay with this?
你能接受吗
This is for repopulation purposes only.
我们这样只是为了繁衍后代
This is all so romantic.
一切都好浪漫啊
Let's just cut the BS and get to it.
我们不要废话了直接上吧
I just have one more thing. Phil, come on.
我还有一件事菲尔搞什么啊
Now it's time for the real fireworks.
可以开始真正的"烟火"了
Do you hear something?
你听到什么了吗
What the hell?
搞什么鬼
I'm Todd.
我叫陶德
This is so crazy. Hi.
简直不可思议你好啊
I-I'm Melissa.
我叫梅丽莎
This is Phil. Hey, Todd.
这是菲尔陶德你好
I can't believe I'm seeing you.
简直不敢相信我看到活人了
I mean, I'd just given up on looking for people,
我都放弃寻找人类了
was headed to the next town when I-I saw your fireworks.
正在去下个镇的路上结果就看到了你们的烟花
Phil set those off.
是菲尔放的
Oh, God bless you, Phil.
上帝保佑你菲尔
I mean, if you hadn't set those things off,
如果你没放烟花的话
I'd be halfway to Mexico by now.
我肯定在去墨西哥的路上了
Yeah, thank God I shot off those frigging fireworks, huh?
是啊我放了这该死的烟花真是上帝保佑啊
I know. I was this close to driving to the next town.
谁说不是就差那么几秒钟我就去下个城镇了
This close, I... So close.
真的真的就差一点儿
Yeah, we're aware of the timeline.
我们都知道时间很巧
That's been established.
你说过了
So you need directions or something? Or, uh...
所以你是来问路的吗还是...
Oh, my goodness, I am so sorry.
我天抱歉
I hope I... I wasn't interrupting anything or...
我... 我没有打扰到你们吧...
Oh, no, you-you weren't.
没有没有
Well, I mean. D... What...
是嘛我是说那个...
Todd, give us a quick sec, okay?
陶德我和她单独说句话
Yeah, of course.
当然可以
Hey. I don't want to be rude,
不是我无礼
but this sex is pretty time sensitive.
但是我们上♥床♥可是很挑时间的
Okay? So we really got to buckle down here.
明白吗所以我们还是马上认真点儿开始吧
And remember, this lovemaking is to save the human race.
记住我们做♥爱♥可是为了拯救人类啊
And that's a big deal. Phil, another person just showed up.
老重要了菲尔另一个人出现了
Wow, check out this setup, huh?
设备好酷炫啊
Oh, no, no, no, don't touch that.
别别别别碰那个
That orgasm was generously provided by phil Miller.
该高♥潮♥由菲尔·米勒倾情提供
Sorry.
对不起啦
Carol.
卡萝尔
Turn that stuff off.
把那东西关了
Okay.
好
Phil, you're back so soon.
菲尔你这么快就回来了
Thank you for keeping it expedient.
谢谢你时间把握地这么好
Well, it didn't happen.
我们没成
Oh, you have diarrhea? No.
你拉肚子了吗没有
Melissa has diarrhea?
梅丽莎拉肚子了吗
No, Carol, nobody has diarrhea. Okay?
不卡萝尔没人拉肚子好吗
Another guy just showed up out of nowhere.
另一个人突然就出现了
What? Another person?
什么另一个人
Yeah, some friggin' fat dude named Todd.
是啊一个胖子叫陶德
Oh, my God.
我的天
This is the best news.
这真是最好的消息了
Melissa can repopulate with him now
梅丽莎可以和他繁衍后代
and our babies won't have to have sex with each other.
我们的孩子也不用乱♥伦♥啦
Well, we're not out of the water just yet.
这事还没定论呢
Why are we still in the water?
这话怎么说
Well, I just have a real hunch that Melissa would way prefer
我有强烈的预感比起那个陶德
to have sex with me over this Todd character.
梅丽莎肯定更愿意和我上♥床♥
Phil, the only reason we entered into this unholy Watusi
菲尔我们之所以同意你跟她上♥床♥
was to spread out the gene pool.
只是为了繁衍后代啊
Carol, shame on you.
卡萝尔你太无♥耻♥了
We can't just force Melissa to have sex with some stranger.
我们怎么能强迫梅丽莎和陌生人上♥床♥呢
I mean, that's called human trafficking.
那简直就是拐卖♥♥妇女
Now, she has a constitutional right
她有合法权利
to choose her own sexual partners, okay?
选择自己的性♥伴♥侣♥
This isn't Russia here. This is the friggin' USA.
这里又不是俄♥罗♥斯♥ 是美国好么
Phil, are you really concerned with Melissa's rights?
菲尔你真的在考虑梅丽莎的权利吗
Or are you just trying to justify having sex with her?
还是只想和她滚床单而已
Yes.
是啊
Yes to which one?
是什么
Oh, to the one that makes you happy. You know the one.
当然是让你高兴的那个你知道的
Okay, good.
好那就好
Well, I want to meet him.
我想见见他
But I can't wear this.
但穿成这样可不行
And all my clothes are still wet.
衣服都洗了还没干
Oh, I do have one thing that's dry.
还有一件可以穿
So what brings you to Tucson, Todd?
陶德你为什么来图森
Oh, you know, actually,
其实吧
I was on my way to Zihuatanejo from Baltimore
我正从巴尔的摩去芝华塔尼欧
when I saw Phil's "Alive in Tucson" billboard.
结果就看到了菲尔写的"图森还有活人"
Why were you going to Zihuatanejo?
你为什么要去芝华塔尼欧
I... I-I got the idea from... uh, The Shawshank Redemption.
这...这是从《肖申克的救赎》里边悟到的
Oh my God, that's... that's my favorite movie.
天啊那是我最喜欢的电影
No, it's my favorite movie, too.
不是吧那也是我最喜欢的电影
I've seen it, like, a hundred times. Melissa.
我看了无数次梅丽莎
It's just one of those movies if you turn on the TV. Melissa.
太经典只要打开电视梅丽莎
Melissa. And it happens to be on, you just...
梅丽莎如果正好在播那就肯定...
just have to finish it. You have to finish it.
会看完会看完
Melissa, Melissa.
梅丽莎梅丽莎
It's my favorite movie, too.
那也是我最喜欢的电影
Big Shankhead here.
死忠粉在此
I thought you said your favorite movie was The Godfather.
你不是说过你最喜欢的电影是《教父》吗
Carol, are you high?
卡萝尔你没事吧
The Godfather is crap next to Shawshank.
《教父》和它一比真是渣渣好吗
Yes, Tom Hanks at his finest, right?
汤姆·汉克斯演得太好了对吧
Tom Hanks?
汤姆·汉克斯
What's your favorite part of Shawshank, Phil?
菲尔《肖申克的救赎》里边你最喜欢哪一段
There's so many parts. So many parts to...
太多了太多段了...
choose from and to pick from.
好难选好难选
Probably, you know, the-the part where the Shawshank is redeemed.
应该是那个肖申克被救赎那一段吧
'Cause, like, you know, Hanks does some...
汉克斯演得吧...
Well, I've never seen it.
我没看过呢
Well, I'm... You-You got to see it.
你必须要看看
You know? As they say in the movie, get busy livin'
就像电影里说的汲汲于生
or get busy... Get busy dyin'.
亦或汲汲... 汲汲于死
Dyin'. Yeah.
死... 没错
It truly was a Shawshank redemption.
真是肖申克的救赎啊
So, uh, Todd, what are you, uh, like, uh,
陶德你...多重
three hundo? Two fiddy?
三百斤两百斤
Phil.
菲尔
What? What? I got... It's... I'm just curious.
怎么了我这不是好奇嘛
Hey, guys, it's okay.
没事
I've been overweight my whole life.
我就没瘦过
See?
你们听听啊
Yeah, my parents died when I was really young,
我很小的时候父母就去世了
so I kind of turned to food for comfort.
我就用吃的来安慰自己
Kids were so mean, you know?
小孩子都很坏的
I-I got teased a lot.
所以我老是被戏弄
Then, my senior year,
但在我高三那年
I actually got voted Homecoming King.
我被选做返校节国王
All I could think was, you know,
那时候我满脑子都在想
if only...
如果
my mom and dad could see me now.
我爸爸妈妈能看到就好了
And, uh... anyways, the night of the dance comes,
然后舞会那晚
and they lead me onstage for the coronation.
他们带我上台加冕
And I'm just beaming, you know?
我很开心