最后一个男人（2015）

The Last Man On Earth S01E01

Part 4 Dec. 2, 2020, 2:02 p.m.

你再也不顾什么法律法规了
What's next?
那接下来呢
You gonna burn down a church?
你是要去烧教堂吗
Carol, I would never burn down a church.
卡萝尔我绝不会烧教堂的
Why? It's a church!
为什么因为那是教堂
And this is a store, and that is a handicapped parking spot!
而这可是个商店而那是残疾人专用停车位
Fine.
好吧
So, uh, guess who's not the last person on Earth anymore.
猜猜谁现在不是地球上最后一个人了
It should be the best day of my life, right?
这应该是我人生中最棒的一天对吧
I mean, you guys know how horny I've been.
你们知道我之前有多饥渴的
Just so, so, so, so, so horny.
太太太太太饥渴了
Just next-level horny.
简直饥渴到毁天灭地
But this woman is just a turd.
但这女人简直太烦人了
Eight ball, corner pocket.
八号♥球角落球袋
Maybe I'm being too harsh.
也许是我太苛刻了
At times she's almost kind of cute.
有时候她还是算得上可爱的
Then she opens her mouth, and it just sucks.
可是她一张开嘴就毁了
What a turd. Eight ball, corner pocket.
真烦人八号♥球角落球袋
"Ooh, I want to fix you, Phil."
我想帮你菲尔
That's what she said to me.
她就是这样跟我说的
I'm a work in progress, sure,
我是半成品没错
but I've progressed to the point where it's...
但我已经快...
I'm very close, I'm very close.
就快了就快了
Eight ball, corner pocket.
八号♥球角落球袋
Bottom line, and I can't believe I'm saying this,
最重要的是我没想到我竟然这么说
I think I need a little space.
我觉得我需要点空间
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no...
不不不不不
No, no, no, no, no!
不不不不
No, no, no, no no, no, no, no.
不不不不不
No, no, no, no. Carol, Carol.
不不不卡萝尔卡萝尔
Carol, Carol, Carol?
卡萝尔卡萝尔卡萝尔
Yeah. What are you doing?
怎么了你在干什么
I'm moving in next door.
我搬到你隔壁啊
Carol... Yeah.
卡萝尔怎么了
There are, no exaggeration,
豪不夸张地说
all the houses in the world to choose from.
全世界你哪儿都可以住
Okay, why does it have to be the house right next door to mine?
你为什么一定要住我隔壁
What's wrong?
有什么问题吗
Do you do weird stuff in your house
你会在家里做什么奇怪的事吗
that you don't want me to see?
做什么见不得人的事情
I... No, I do not do weird stuff.
我不我不会做奇怪的事
I do normal stuff.
我做的事都很正常
But I'd like to do that normal stuff in private.
但我喜欢独自做那些正常的事
Are you afraid I'm gonna see you naked?
你是怕我看到你光溜溜吗
Does this answer your question?
这个能回答你的问题吗
Do you want me to look at it? Hello.
你想让我看看吗你好啊
No! No, Carol. What do you say, little guy?
不不卡萝尔你说什么小家伙
Is this what you want? I'm looking right at it.
你就是想这样吗我正看着呢
Carol, stop this.
卡萝尔别这样
Don't be scared. Come on, Carol. Carol.
别害怕啊别这样卡萝尔卡萝尔
Look, I'll choose a different house,
听着我会另选一栋房♥子
but I'm staying in this neighborhood.
但我会住在这个社区里
All right.
好吧
How much longer are we gonna dance around this?
我们到底要这样绕多久的圈子啊
Dance around what?
绕什么圈子
The reason we both survived-- our purpose.
我们幸存下来的理由啊我们的目标
We were chosen.
我们是天选之人
W-Would you just say what you're trying to say?
你话能直说吗
Repopulation, you dumb donkey!
繁衍啊你这蠢货
Something we have to do!
我们必须要做的事
Together!
一起做
Carol, no disrespect here,
卡萝尔你别见怪
but have you ever heard the phrase,
但你听过有句话说
"I wouldn't have sex with you
"即使地球上其他人都死光了
if you were the last person on Earth"?
我也不会跟你上♥床♥"吗
You think I want to repopulate with you?
你以为我想跟你一起造人吗
Oh, I would rather eat a cat.
那还不如让我吃只猫
And I love cats.
我可喜欢猫了
And the thought of killing a cat
脑补一下杀死一只猫
and then eating its little furry body,
然后吃掉它毛茸茸的小尸体的画面
like, that's how I feel about making love to you.
就是想象我跟你做♥爱♥的感受
So we're done here, then?
那我们到此为止吧
Oh, not by a long shot.
你想得美
The fate of the human race is depending on us.
人类的命运就在我们俩手上
You may hide behind that rat's nest of a beard of yours
虽然你留着一脸大胡子
and pretend that you don't care about anything,
假装什么都不关心
but I know that deep down inside of you,
但我知道你内心深处
there is a nice-smelling person who actually gives a hoot,
其实还有个不一身臭气的小人儿在乎
and I am not giving up until I find him!
我不找到他是不会放弃的
Well, good luck with that, Carol.
那祝你好运卡萝尔
I'm gonna find him!
我一定会找到他
You're a great guy, Phil!
你是个好人菲尔
Somewhere in there!
你有颗善良的心
Hidden.
藏起来了
Far away.
藏得很深
Hi, Phil.
你好菲尔
Carol! Geez! Can I get a little privacy here?!
卡萝尔天能给我点隐私吗
Oh, definitely-- if you used your inside toilet.
可以啊如果你用室内的厕所
What part of "no running water" do you not understand?
"没水"这俩字你哪个字不理解
All of it.
都不理解
I mean, look at what you're doing, Phil.
你看看你在干什么菲尔
Carol, this works for me.
卡萝尔我这样行得通
The fact that it doesn't work for you is not my problem.
你行不通那不关我的事
I just want to live like a human being again.
我只想再过回正常人的生活
I want to take a shower.
我想洗澡
I want to water my garden.
我想给我的园子浇水
I want our kids to have fresh fruits and vegetables.
我想让我们的孩子吃上新鲜水果蔬菜
Our kids?! Yes.
我们的孩子对
Carol, I am definitely not having kids with you.
卡萝尔我绝对不会跟你生孩子
Fine, I want fresh fruits and vegetables.
行那我想吃新鲜水果蔬菜行了吧
Don't you want that?
难道你不想吗
I honestly don't care.
说实话我不在乎
Suit yourself.
随便你咯
What is that?
那是什么
This to-mah-to?
这个番茄吗
Carol, just say "Tomato."
卡萝尔叫西红柿就行
Phil, some people say "To-mah-to."
菲尔也有人叫番茄啊
I'm one of those people.
我就叫它番茄
Of course you are.
还用你废话
Now, I grew this personally, and I would love to grow more,
这是我自己种的我想多种出些来
but I need help getting water to my garden.
但我需要你帮忙给我的园子浇水
Are you in? Are you out?
你是帮还是不帮
Oh, I'm definitely out.
当然不帮
I was never even close to being in.
我就没想过帮你
In any way.
不论什么事
All right.
那行
But those that don't help don't eat.
但是不帮忙的人就没得吃
Bye.
拜拜
Yeah. Looks... disgusting.
你那个样子...好恶心
Oh, so juicy!
真是鲜美多汁
Son of a bee sting!
他妈哒
That really hurt!
好疼啊
You enjoy those to-mah-toes, Phil?
番茄吃得还爽吗菲尔
I don't know what you're talking about.
我不知道你说什么
You stole my to-mah-toes, Phil.
你偷吃了我的番茄菲尔
Did not.
没有
You stole my to-mah-toes
你偷吃了我的番茄
and you left poop in my garden.
还在我的菜园里拉了粑粑
Must've been a raccoon.
肯定是浣熊干的
You're a terrorist.
你就是个恐♥怖♥分♥子♥
What happened to your foot?