最后一个男人（2015）

The Last Man On Earth S01E08

Part 2 Dec. 2, 2020, 2:05 p.m.

I just wish there was some way
真希望能有个法子
I could remind them of how important I am.
让他们认识到我有多重要
Some grand gesture I could make.
一些我能做到的惊人举动
Something spectacular. It's got to be spectacular.
让人♥大♥开眼界的一定得很厉害才行
Got to be spectacular.
一定得很厉害才行
Come on, think, think, think.
快点想想想想想想
Spectacular. What's spectacular?
厉害的有什么厉害的呢
What would really blow them away?
什么能真的把他们都惊呆呢
What's a...
到底...
You are... frigging... kidding me.
你♥他♥妈♥ 一定是在逗我
In a moment, I'm gonna open this door,
马上我就要打开这扇门
and you're gonna see something
你们会看到一样东西
that's gonna knock your frigging socks off.
肯定会把你们吓尿的
I mean, this is a game changer.
这绝对是一样惊天劈地的东西
It's... a game changer.
是个惊天劈地的东西
I don't know how else to put it.
我不知道还能怎么描述
Okay, but I have a question. Yeah?
好的但我有一个问题你说
Is this going to change the game in any way?
它到底怎么惊天劈地呢
Maybe this will answer your question, okay?
你一看就知道了好吗
Bam.
锵锵
I know, right?
很棒对吧
What an incredible empty doorway.
真是令人惊叹的空门廊
Wh-What? Wait.
什么等等
Wow, this is really gonna change the game.
这可真是惊天劈地
Yeah, I mean, all I'm seeing is a whole lot of empty space
是啊我只看到了独居男的
for one man living all alone.
一栋空房♥子
It's sad really.
真可怜
Carol, now's not the time.
卡萝尔现在别说这个
Well, it's never the time!
什么时候才能说
What? Holy cow.
我去竟然有头牛
Oh, my God!
我的天哪
I thought I'd never see another animal again!
我还以为再也看不到其他动物了
Hi there, little lady.
你好啊姑娘
Amazing!
太棒了
Well, look what I did, huh?
看看我棒吧
So how do you guys like your burgers?
你们想吃什么口味的汉堡
Ha, ha, Phil, very funny.
哈哈菲尔真有意思
The lady prefers steak?
还是说你们女士想吃牛排
Oh, you're serious?
你是认真的啊
Phil, we have to keep this cow alive for milk.
菲尔我们得养着这头奶牛挤牛奶啊
Hey, we don't know how to take care of an animal like this.
我们又不懂该怎么照顾这种动物
I mean, this thing will be dead in, like, three weeks.
这货可能三周就会死了
So let's just do the humane thing
我们还是人道一点
and murder it now so we can have burgers tonight.
现在杀了它那样今晚我们就能吃汉堡了
You know, Phil, I might be able to help us out here.
菲尔我也许能帮忙
You've killed a cow before?
你以前也杀过奶牛吗
No. As a kid, I used to spend my summers on my uncle's dairy farm.
不我儿时夏天在我叔叔的乳品农场待过
So you know how to milk it?
那你知道怎么挤奶咯
I can get you milk, I can churn you butter.
我可以挤牛奶还知道怎么做黄油
Uh, I can get you yogurt, cheese.
我还能做出酸奶奶酪
Pretty much anything dairy is at our disposal now.
我们现在要什么乳制品就有什么
Todd, you're the best!
陶德你最棒了
I'm gonna start calling you the milkman, milkman.
我以后就叫你送奶工了送奶工
Carol.
卡萝尔
With all due respect to the milkman here,
恕我冒昧送奶工
who definitely deserves all this praise
他显然担得起这所有的称赞
for basically just standing around,
因为他就只是站在这里啥都没干
I found this thing, so it'll be my call what happens with it.
牛是我发现的该怎么处理也该由我决定
Okay, Todd?
对吗陶德
No, no, no, no, no.
不不不不不
Phil, just because you found the cow
菲尔不能因为奶牛是你发现的
doesn't give you the right to decide what we do with it.
你就随意决定我们要怎么对待这头奶牛
Yes, it does.
没错就是这样
Clearly you've forgotten about
你们显然忘记了
a little something called finders keepers.
有句话叫做谁捡到归谁
Finders keepers? Are you five years old?
谁捡到归谁你五岁吗
And like clockwork, the losers weep.
当然捡不到的就哭去吧
Phil, we aren't children, and this isn't a playground.
菲尔我们不是小孩子这里也不是游乐场
Doy!
当然
Come on, Phil.
别这样菲尔
Yeah, this is ridiculous!
是啊这太荒谬了
Hey, hey, I'm not trying to fight with you here, okay?
我不是想和你们吵好吗
I'm just trying to tell you what I could do
我只是在告诉你们如果我是个自私的人
if I was a selfish person.
我能怎么做
But what I will do,
但因为我是个有团队精神的人
since I'm the ultimate team player,
我要做的是不管"谁捡到归谁"
is bypass FK and let this little mother live.
那句屁话养着这小母牛
Phil, that's very big of you.
菲尔你真是太伟大了
It is a pretty big sacrifice,
这真是很大的牺牲
especially considering someone in our midst
尤其是考虑到我们中有人
might be severely lactose intolerant.
也许患有严重的乳糖不耐症
Are you lactose intolerant?
你有乳糖不耐症吗
Yes.
是啊
Ah, really?
真的吗
But no worries, you know.
但不用担心
Just seeing the three of you happy is my milk.
看到你们仨都高兴我就高兴了
Well, aren't you a martyr?
你真有牺牲精神
Well, if I'm a martyr,
如果我有牺牲精神的话
then I guess you're also gonna have to call Christ a martyr.
你们大概也会说耶稣有牺牲精神吧
Hey, Phil, you know, I have a ton of grass in my backyard.
菲尔我后院里有很多草
I'd be more than happy to keep her back there if you want.
如果你愿意的话我很乐意把它养在那里
Nice try, Todd. No. I found it;
想得美陶德不行是我发现的
it'll stay right here.
它得待在这里
Oh, so a barnyard animal gets to move in with you,
一头农场动物都能和你住在一起
but, uh, not your own wife?
你妻子却不能和你住在一起吗
Carol, this is perfect for the cow!
卡萝尔这样对奶牛来说最好了
All these hard tiles for it to hoof around on.
有这么些瓷砖让它走来走去
I mean, look at her, she loves it!
你看看它它多高兴啊
Wh-Whoa, where you going, girl?!
你要去哪儿姑娘
Looks like she's headed to Todd's.
看起来它往陶德家去了
Oh, good, good, good.
好啊好啊好啊
Good, good, good, good.
好啊好啊好啊
Friggin' Todd.
又他妈是陶德
You like that grass, don't you, little lady?
你喜欢这些草对吧小姑娘
I'm sorry, Phil, should we take her back to your place?
抱歉菲尔我们要把它带回你家吗
Well, I'm sure she prefers my foyer,
我相信她肯定更喜欢我家大厅
but, uh, you know, it's been a really big day.
但今天是个大好日子
Maybe just tonight we'll, uh, let her stay here. Sure.
今晚我们就让她待在这里吧
Okay, well, let's get you tied up.
让我把你拴起来
My uncle taught me this knot.
我叔叔教过我怎么打这种结
It's called a clove hitch.
这个叫卷结
Yeah, the old clove hitch. Know it well.
是啊老式卷结我很清楚
Oh, you do? Everyone does.
你也知道啊大家都知道
Anybody want to learn how to milk a cow?
有人想学学怎么挤奶吗
Yes! I do! Oh, I do!
当然我想我想
All right. Here you go.
好的你示范吧
Here we go.
那我就示范下
So, first you grab the teat like this. Okay?
首先你这样抓住奶头
You massage the teat,
抚摸♥奶♥头
and then you gently tug on it.
然后轻轻拉几下
Did you really learn that on your uncle's farm
你这是在你叔叔的农场学的
or during your summers working as a male prostitute?
还是你暑假做♥鸭♥时学的
That's a good one, Phil.
真会说笑菲尔
Yeah, it is a risque motion, but it gets the job done.
动作确实淫♥荡♥ 不过屡试不爽
Milk! We have milk! Oh, my gosh!
牛奶我们有牛奶了天哪
Anybody want a sip?
有谁想喝一口吗
Yeah, I do! Oh, my God! I do!
我来天哪我来
It's good, isn't it?
好喝吧
Phil, you want a sip?
菲尔你也要喝吗
Uh, God, I'm-I'm sorry, Phil. I forgot you're lactose intolerant.
抱歉菲尔我忘记你有乳糖不耐症了