大世界之旅（2016）

我要成功了 正在驶向对岸
I am going to do it. I am heading for the shore.
走起来
Drive, drive!
我闻到啤酒味了
I can smell beer!
聪明如我 明白靠岸需要大量的动力
Being intelligent, I knew I'd need a big burst of power to get ashore.
于是 我升起车顶 保护脑子免受寄生虫的侵害
So I raised my roof to protect my head from the parasites.
真不错啊
Well done.
我快到了
I'm so nearly there!
求你了 就这一次 往左吧
Please, just for once, go left.
我靠岸了
Oh, I've hit the bank.
我们的前轮进入了塞内加尔 这算吗
Our front wheels are in Senegal, does that count?
我觉得肯定开到了塞内加尔 是的 我们到了
Oh, I think we're definitely in Senegal, yeah, I think we've arrived.
显然 将这三辆车改回去 我们还有工作要做
Obviously, there is work to be done returning these to be normal land-based vehicles,
但有一些更重要的事 我们需要优先处理
but there's something more important to attend to first.
你们俩跟我不一样
You two are different to me.
我看着这杯啤酒 会想
I look at that and I just think,
"多么伟大的发明!"
"Oh, what an invention!"
看着它 品味它
Now, looking at it, savouring it,
就像喝它一样令人愉悦
is as enjoyable as drinking it.
看看杯子上凝结的水珠 看看翻腾的气泡
Look at the condensation on the glass, look at the bubbles,
看看...品味一下这种期待
look at the... Savour the anticipation.
因为在我看来 这也一样美
Because in my mind, it's as good.
视觉上 这体验很好 但听觉上太烦了
Visually, this is a good experience. Aurally, it's annoying.
很烦吗
It's annoying?
我看到了尤物 听到了胡话
I'm just seeing beauty, hearing bollocks.
显然 我们决定多喝几杯
Obviously, we decided to have more than one.
自然 随着哈蒙德开始喝上下一轮
So, as Hammond was getting the next round in,
我溜到他的车上 搞了一点终结者风格的恶作剧
I slipped out to his car for a bit of Terminator-based mischief.
如果把我的手♥机♥ 蓝牙连接到这台扬声器
If I Bluetooth my phone to this speaker
然后把它藏在哈蒙德的车上
and hide that in Hammond's car,
我就可以给他播放消息
I can play messages to him
他会以为车在对话
and he'll think his car is talking to him.
第二天早上 我们重新汇合 继续旅程
The next morning, we reconvened to continue our journey.
好了
Right.
模仿了终结者T-800的口音
下车 滚下车
Get out. Get out.
怎么回事
What the hell was that?
我的车刚刚让我滚下去
My car just told me to get out.
不会吧 -它让我下车
No. -It told me to get out.
如果我是那辆车 我也会赶的 但是...
I must admit, I'd tell you to get out if I was that car, but...
下车
Get out.
听到了吗 -确实
Do you hear that? -I did hear that.
太诡异了 不是吗
Well, that is weird, isn't it?
那天晚上你是不接入电脑了 -是的
Were you in its computer the other night? -Yes.
那就是问题所在 -我与它深入对接了
That's what's gone wrong. -I was deeply intimate with it.
总之 继续走吧
Anyway, forwards.
我就知道
I knew it!
幼稚
Child.
你们好
Hello, hello. Bonjour. Bonjour.
塞内加尔 多么热烈的欢迎
Senegal. Helluva welcome.
现在 我们距离达喀尔的终点线 只剩下了几百公里的坦途
We were now just a couple of hundred easy miles to the finish line in Dakar.
圣路易斯
达喀尔
在我们史诗般的旅程即将结束之际
And with our epic trip this close to the end,
这似乎是一个很好的时机 让我们点评一下
it seemed like a good time to reflect on the machines
带我们来的三台机器
that had brought us here.
节目开始时 我们提出问题
We asked at the beginning of this show
有没有可能花费低于兰博基尼飓风Sterrato版的价钱
if it would be possible to build a rally-raid Dakar desert racer car
制♥造♥一辆达喀尔沙漠拉力赛车
for less than a Lamborghini Huracán Sterrato.
答案是肯定的
And the answer is yes.
妥妥的
Yes.
我被这辆车惊呆了 彻底惊呆了
I'm staggered by this car. Absolutely staggered,
因为它爬过了岩石峭壁
'cause it's clawed its way up rocky escarpments,
跨过了江海河流 疾驰于沙丘之间
it's been across rivers, it's blasted across dunes.
与那辆"鬼上身"的阿斯顿马丁不同
And unlike the Aston, which is possessed by the devil,
更与几乎散架的玛莎拉蒂 形成鲜明对比
and the Maserati, which, under the skin, is falling to pieces,
这辆车没出任何差错
this has not put a single foot wrong.
我们之前每次冒险时驾驶过的车辆 我都非常喜爱
I've been fond of cars we've used on these adventures in the past,
但都不及我对这辆车的喜爱
but nothing like as fond as I am of this.
等我开到达喀尔之后 我会非常想它的
I'm going to miss it badly when I get to Dakar.
真的 真的会想念它
Really, really miss it.
如果我在节目开始就说 我要改装一辆
Now, if I'd said to you at the beginning "I'm going to take "an exotic car
小批量生产的意大利豪华车
" from a small-volume Italian manufacturer and I'm going to modify it
还要驾驶它穿越沙漠
and I'm going to drive it across the desert,"
你可能会说 "不 你诓我"
you'd have probably said, "No, you're not."
但我们做到了 就在此刻
But here we are. It's here!
我们正驶向达喀尔
On the way to Dakar,
也就是世界上 最激动人心 最艰难比赛的终点
the finishing point for the most dramatic and gruelling race in the world.
而且别忘了 截至目前 我的车是三辆车中最好看的
And let's not forget, mine is by far the best-looking of the three cars,
而且是唯一比原厂车外观更漂亮的
and mine is the only one that looks better now than it did when it was standard.
我真的改进了原版的外观
I've actually improved the original.
赢家
Winner!
也许你会觉得 我很难拿出令人信服的证据
Now, you might imagine I'd struggle to mount a convincing argument
证明把阿斯顿马丁DB9 Volante改装成拉力赛车的合理性 但慢着
I've improved my Aston Martin DB9 Volante by turning it into a rally racer, but hold on.
如果我没有改装 这辆车将会保持原样
If I hadn't done that, this car, left unchanged, would have simply...
继续在 彼得伯勒 混日子
continued living in Peterborough,
来回穿梭于郊区住♥宅♥
commuting between suburban home
和中等规模的工业区之间
and a middle-sized trading estate.
周末参加高尔夫俱乐部的奇怪旅行
With the odd trip out to the golf club at weekends.
它仍然会闪闪发亮 但会陷入宿命
It would have stayed shiny and nice, but it would have become what it is,
一辆略显过时 缓缓凋零
which is a slightly outdated, slowly fading example
曾经辉煌过的豪华跑车
of a once-grand grand tourer.
通过我的改装
By doing what I've done to it,
我能够将它带到这里 做一些了不起的事情
I've been able to bring it out here to do something incredible.
而这些经历如今都镌刻在车身上
And those experiences are now written across it
显示在划痕 擦痕 凹痕和裂缝之中
in scuffs and scrapes and dents and cracks.
这些是它的命脉 是它脸上的笑纹
They are its lifelines, its laughter-lines on it.
我很喜欢它
And I love it.
之前它并不特别 但现在 足够特别了
I made it special. It wasn't special. Now it is.
我们开到了极其美丽的圣路易斯 这座小城的海岸线上
We hit the coast in the surprisingly pretty town of St Louis
然后一路向南 与大西洋平行前进
and turned south, running parallel with the Atlantic Ocean.
这给我了灵感
Which gave me an idea.
我们为什么不像以前那样 从沙滩进入达喀尔
Why don't we go into Dakar on the beach, like they used to?
拉力赛的终点设置在沙滩上
On the rally? It was finished on the beach.
对啊
Yes!
当然 我的同事们没有任何异议
Naturally, my colleagues had no objections whatsoever.
所以 我们转头驶入沙滩 完成最后的112公里
So we turned onto the sand to complete the last 70 miles,
就像过去的赛车手一样
just as the races of the past had done.
机械增压启动
Supercharger engaged.
快看那边
Look at that!
巴黎达喀尔拉力赛 这就是终点
Paris-Dakar! This is the finish!
正是为了看到这特别的时刻
It will be for these exact moments that people
人们才会忍♥受巴黎达喀尔拉力赛 一路走来的苦难和艰辛
endured the suffering and hardship of doing the Paris-Dakar.
参赛就是为了这一刻
This is what they did it for. This!
我要和理查德"鼹鼠"哈蒙德 并肩前行
I'm going to pull alongside Richard "The Hamster" Hammond.
快看 我们开进海报了
Look at this! We're in a poster!
我谢谢您
Oh, thank you!
从来没有玩得这么开心过
Never had so much fun!
今天太美好了
What a wonderful, wonderful day.
有短♥信♥
Hello.
威尔曼先生发来的
Text message from Mr Wilman.
"进入达喀尔之前 你们可能想看一下新闻推送"
"Before going into Dakar, you might want to check your news feeds."
真的吗
Really?
英国广播公♥司♥新闻
BBC News.
气候变化 全是气候变化
Climate change, climate change, climate change.
洪水 气候变化
Floods, climate change.
试试推特
Try Twitter.
天啊
Oh, Christ.
等等 请回话 怎么停车了
Hang on. Coming. Why have you stopped?
怎么停车了
Why have you stopped?
威尔曼刚刚让我们看新闻
Wilman just said, "Check your news feeds."
这发生在达喀尔
That's Dakar.
什么