大世界之旅（2016）

你喜欢看你的倒影？
You're enjoying looking at that?
看起来就像是一套可怕的乐高组合
It looks like a disaster with a Lego set.
这是我八岁时 会丢在客厅地毯上的那种玩具
Something I'd leave on the sitting room carpet when I was 8.
现在天色已晚
It was now late in the day.
而我们想在到达酒店之前 停下来看看耶稣
We wanted to stop off and see Jesus before going to our hotel,
也就是144公里之外的地方
90 miles away.
理查德拥有6升V8发动机 对他来说 这不是什么大问题…
That wasn't going to be much of a problem for Richard with his 6-litre V8,
我也一样
or me.
不过詹姆斯…
James though...
今天是6月21日 最漫长的白天
It's June 21, the longest day,
而对詹姆斯梅来说 他会感觉今天是最漫长的一天
and for James May, it's going to feel like it.
情况报告
Situation report.
发动机冷却液温度正在升高
The engine cooling temperature is rising.
还没有达到危险值 但正在逼近
It's not in the danger zone yet, but it's getting there.
天啊 卡车开始出没了
Oh God, it's truck time.
不！
No!
Arghhh!
糟糕！
Holy shit!
丝毫不受任何问题的困扰
Untroubled by any issues at all,
我们现在到达了耶稣的花♥园♥
we were now arriving in Jesus' garden.
天啊 真大
God, it's enormous.
耶稣！
Jesus!
他能…如果你投入50便士 他会有反应吗？
Does it do anything if you put 50p in?
告诉你一件趣事 我刚才在谷歌♥上搜他
I'll tell you what's funny. I was just googling him.
这是世界上第二高的耶稣
He's the second tallest Jesus in the world.
太棒了 -印度尼西亚有一个更高的
Brilliant. - One in Indonesia is taller.
那太令人沮丧了 但这个是最先建起来的吗？
That must be depressing. Did this one go up first?
肯定是先完工的 因为谁会建造第二高的啊
It must have done. You wouldn't build the second biggest one.
不 你…我不知道 毕竟我们是在波兰
You wouldn't say... I don't know, we're in Poland.
我们一直在第二大森林 第二繁忙的港口
We've been in the second biggest wood, the second busiest port.
是的 -我告诉你我还发现了什么
Yep. - I tell you what else I found.
直到最近 他的头顶上 还有一座手♥机♥信♥号♥♥塔
Until very recently, he had a cell tower on top of his head.
然后收到了一些投诉 -为什么？
And then there were some complaints. - Why?
因为人们在手♥机♥上看的劲爆色情内容
Because people were watching strong pornography beamed to their phones
其信♥号♥♥就是来自于耶稣的头顶
from Jesus' head.
还真是 -这样做不对吧？
Yeah.
把互联网放在耶稣的头上
That was a mistake, putting the internet on Jesus' head.
这很没有尊严
It's not dignified.
而且 耶稣体内有一扇门 谁能想到？
Also, there's a door in Jesus. Who knew that?
看 -这是耶稣的后门吗？
Look. - Is that Jesus' back door?
等下次有人给我惊喜的时候 我就说：“耶稣的后门！”
The next time somebody surprises me and I say: "Christ back door!"
这就是你所说的… -我所说的
That's what you're talking... - That's what I'm talking about.
这是正经的公路旅行项目 在公路旅行中就该搞这些
This is proper road trip stuff. This is what you do on a road trip.
在公路旅行中就是该做这种事
It's exactly what you do on a road trip.
除非就是说 你在一辆
Unless, that is, you're in a 75-year-old Crosley.
发动机过热的75岁克罗斯利中
With an overheating engine.
这是理查德哈蒙德的专业领域
This is Richard Hammond's territory. He likes all this old stuff
他喜欢世界大战前和战后的 所有这些老东西
from before the war and just after
他会说：“天啊 这是现存三个中的一个”
and says: "It's one of only three."
好吧 我一点都不惊讶
I'm not surprised!
我怀疑是散热器堵了
I suspect the radiator's blocked.
Wow!
有很多棕色的液体流了出来
There's quite a lot of brownness coming out
看 如果你往下看
if you look underneath.
我本来很期待看看那个大耶稣
I was looking forward to seeing that big Jesus.
但我现在所能做的就是专心赶往旅馆
But all I could do now was concentrate on getting to the hotel
免得待会儿要用上我那古董头灯
before I needed to use my antique headlamps.
还有99公里要走
Another 62 miles to go.
我这条腿从这里一直到上面 都抽筋抽得厉害
I'm getting appalling cramp in this leg, all the way up here.
而我的屁♥股♥完全麻木了
My arse is completely numb.
天啊 快结束吧
God, let it end!
当我终于到达过夜的地方时
When I finally reached the overnight halt,
我筋疲力竭 以至于直接上♥床♥睡觉了
I was so shattered, I went straight to bed.
他上♥床♥睡觉了 -是的
He's gone to bed. - Yes.
然而 我们两个
Us two, however, having enjoyed
已经享受了一个压力小得多的下午
a much less stressful afternoon,
所以仍然有精力借用一些当地劳力
still had the energy to borrow some locals
借着酒劲开一点玩笑
and engage in a bit of booze-fueled japery.
大家尽可能抓紧能抓住的部分 尽全力抬起来
Everybody get what you can get to lift.- Grab and lift it. - Anything you can.
三、二…该死的
Three, two... Bloody hell,
没多难嘛
that wasn't difficult.
另一边
That way.- Other way.
是另一边！
Back to there.
我的背 天啊！我的背！
My back! Jesus!
我的手指
Ow, my back. And my fingers. - We should...
天啊 如果不小心的话 容易被人听成是一部色情电影
This could sound like a porn film if we weren't careful.
第二天早上
The next morning, James was displeased
詹姆斯很不高兴地发现 他的车紧紧地贴着 酒店餐厅的墙壁
to find his car was tucked hard against the wall in the hotel's restaurant.
真有意思 俩二货
Very funny, bell ends.
OK.
Ow!
天啊！
Jesus.
这次延误意味着 他落后我和理查德数公里
This delay meant he was miles behind Richard and me.
所以今天的计划是这样的
Here's the plan for today.
在第三集中营 也就是大逃亡发生的地点 稍作停留
Stop off at Stalag Luft III, where The Great Escape happened.
稍微吃点午餐 然后长途驾车前往克拉科夫
A spot of lunch and then a long drive to Krakow.
自从几个月前 我们决定进行这次旅行以来
Ever since we decided to do this trip, months ago, James May has been beside himself
詹姆斯梅一直对参观第三集中营 感到兴奋不已
with excitement about visiting Stalag Luft III.
他甚至还穿着一件大逃亡的T恤
He's even wearing a Great Escape T-shirt.
但现在 起码他已经上路了
But now, at least he was on his way.
抱歉
Sorry.
混♥蛋♥
Bollocks.
而且他感觉非常痛苦
...and feeling very miserable.
事实证明这不是一场可怕的梦
It wasn't a terrible dream, I really am driving
我真的是开着一辆克罗斯利穿越东欧
a Crosley across Eastern Europe.
我已经挂上最高档了
I'm already in top gear,
已经这样一个小时了
this is it for an hour.
从好的方面来说 我不在可怕的高速公路上
On the plus side, I wasn't on the terrifying motorway.
克罗斯利 一辆精品车
不利的一面是 其他人反倒都希望我去上高速
On the minus side, everyone else wished I was.
我已经尽力了
I'm doing my best.
天啊 他要超车了
He's going for it.
不 你肯定是疯了
You must be mad.
不
No! Ah!
他要超车了
He's going.
他超车了
There he goes.
还有一辆
There's another one.
他俩都要超车
They're both going.
我的天啊
Oh, my God!
天啊
Jeez!
现在成了我的责任了
I'm now responsible.
遥遥领先的我也遇到了一点意外
Far ahead, I too was having a bit of a drama.
天啊 不是黄蜂 完蛋 那是什么虫子？
Oh, Christ, that's not a wasp. What the hell is that?
太大了
It's absolutely gigantic.
出去！
Get out! Get out!
从我这里看都很大
I can see it from here. It's enormous!
大得令人难以置信
It's incredibly big.
出去
Get out.
在赶走有毒的飞虫之后
After ejecting the poisonous hand glider,
我注意到我的车有一个舒适功能
I noticed that my car had a comfort feature
不知为何我之前全然不知
I somehow missed.
超速档 开-关
我有一个超速档按钮
I've got an overdrive button!
哈蒙德 里塞德传来了惊人的消息
Amazing news from the Le-Seyde, Hammond.
我有超速档
I've got overdrive.
美滋滋啊
Oh yeah!
欢迎使用超速档
Welcome to overdrive.
超速档
Overdrive!
如果你有疑问的话 超速档可以有效地降低
In case you're wondering, overdrive reduces the noise effectively when you're on a motorway.
在高速公路上行驶时的噪音 有点像是又一种档位
It's kind of like another gear.
所以我现在以96公里的时速行驶
So I'm driving along now at 60 mph
三千转多一点点
3 and a bit thousand rpm.
挂上超速档 然后我们降至2400转
I engage overdrive and we drop to 2,400 rpm.