大世界之旅（2016）

“我讨厌哈利波特
"Oh, I hate Harry Potter.
“纯粹是扯淡
Absolute bollocks.
“慢点 兄弟们 等等我们 我来了”
Oh, look, lads, wait for us, I'm coming."
兄弟们 我们可以从这里出去
Guys. - We can get out this way.
走这边
Come, come.
“兄弟们 这次参观很不错
"That, lads, was an amazing visit.
“谢谢你带我们一起来”
Thanks for bringing us with yer."
- Oh. - Oh.
这是别人家的房♥子 -有可能
This is probably somebody's house.
是的 他们可能会有点惊讶 发现我们三个和尼格尔曼塞尔在里面
It's possible. They may be a bit surprised to find us three and Nigel Mansell in it.
当晚 我们住在克拉科夫
That night, we stayed in Krakow,
这意味着我有时间对同事进行报复
which meant I had time to exact some revenge on my colleagues
因为他们之前把我的车停在餐厅
for putting my car in a restaurant.
准备好了吗？好的
Ready? OK.
好的 我们要去哪里？ -很好 去那边
Lovely. - Where are we going?
这边？ -去马路对面
Across the road. Across the road.
过马路 不错 干得好 谢谢各位
Lovely. Well done. Thank you.
很完美
Perfect.
穿过花♥园♥
Through the garden.
我自己来抬
第二天早上 我把克罗斯利
The next morning, I retrieved the Crosley
从哈蒙德和克拉克森这次停放的地方 取了回来
from where Hammond and Clarkson had left it this time...
然后等待他们 对我所做的事情做出反应
...and then waited for their reaction to what I'd done.
这让我怎么开车？
How am I going to drive like this?
这是…
What's? Oh!
你觉得只有你有问题吗？
You think you've got problems?
这是你的车发出的声音吗？
Is that coming from your car?
我想是踩刹车时发出的声音
I think it's when I brake.
没错 这是刹车铃 很好的安全功能
Yes, it's the brake bell. A good safety feature.
詹姆斯梅！
James May!
天啊 你把我的喇叭 接到了转向灯上 你这个混♥蛋♥！
You wired my horn into my indicator, you bastard!
这可太妙了
Oh, brilliant!
等一下 我踩油门的时候 能听到风笛声
When I put my foot down, I hear bagpipes.
你喜欢我的烛台吗 尼格尔？
Like my candelabras, Nigel?
“我楼上的浴室里 有一对这样的 我有的”
"I like them, I've a couple in me bathroom."
很快我们就上了高速公路 前往下一个国家 斯洛伐克
Soon, we were on the motorway, heading for our next country, Slovakia.
我随即注意到两件事
Straight away, I noticed two things.
第一 尼格尔曼塞尔的脸开始融化了
One: Nigel Mansell's face was starting to melt.
天啊
Oh, dear.
第二…
And two...
詹姆斯 你把你的克罗斯利落下了
James, you've forgotten your Crosley.
它不在你的“奶♥子♥和啤酒”后边
It's not on the back of your Titties 'n' Beer car.
说得对
Exactly.
我知道 我把拖车 连接到了摄制组的车上
I've attached the trailer to the crew van.
什么？
What?
这辆改装赛车和那辆长拖车的组合
The combination of the hot rod and that long trailer
外加那辆弹性十足的小车 这种组合非常致命
with the bouncy little car on is absolutely lethal.
所以我开备用车
I'm driving the back-up car.
备用车就是为这种情况准备的
The back-up car is here for this eventuality.
使用备用车 必须是因为你原来的车爆♥炸♥了
The back-up car is if your original car
不能是因为你不喜欢原来的车
explodes. It's not because you don't like it.
你不能按照自己的需求 随心所欲地修改规则
You can't rewrite the rules as you go along, to suit you.
我恰好就有这样的经历
Well, I have, as it happens.
说实话 即便后面没挂拖车
To be honest, even without a trailer attached,
这辆改装赛车的体验也并没有改善
my hot rod experience was not improving.
我该从哪里说起呢？
Where shall I start?
油门踏板居然埋在车门里
The throttle pedal is actually buried in the door,
所以我必须 在右脚不♥穿♥鞋的情况下驾驶
so I have to drive it without my right shoe on.
但是踏板又非常锋利
But the pedal is razor sharp and it's digging into my foot.
正在刺进我的脚 我的脚现在已经麻木了
It's now going numb.
方向盘跟衬衫纽扣一样大
It's got a shirt button for its steering wheel.
踩下刹车时 车会猛烈向右拉 车内简直像火烤
It pulls violently to the right under braking. It's baking hot, it's noisy
噪音很大 这甚至算不上一辆正经的改装赛车
and it's not even a proper hot rod.
它只有一台破旧的 直列六缸捷豹发动机
It's got a crappy, old straight 6 Jag engine.
本来应该有一台大V8发动机才对
It's supposed to have a big V8 motor.
不过 与克罗斯利不同的是
Still, unlike the Crosley,
至少它没有一直抛锚
at least it wasn't breaking down all the time.
糟糕
Oh, bollocks.
我们得停车了
We need to stop.
什么？
What?
有蒸汽
It's steam.
太烫了
It's hot, hot, hot.
闻起来就感觉很烫
It smells hot.
就是这样
There you go.
你了解这个引擎 -我很了解这个引擎
You know this engine. - I know this engine very well.
这种引擎会过热 会把车头烤热
They cook the head.
詹姆斯？ -怎么了？
James? - Yes?
你把这份工作完全搞砸了
You've bollocked the job.
这还有希望 让我们稍微思考一下
It's not over. Let's just have a bit of a think about it.
我已经思考过了 -是的
I've had a bit of a think.
我在想的是 我们已经预订了 一家非常好的餐厅 准备去吃午餐
What I'm thinking is that we've got a good restaurant booked for lunch.
是的
Yeah.
如果我们还站着 盯着发动机冷却
We're not going to get there if we stand here looking at this while it cools down.
-那我们就肯定到不了了 -没错
做出这个决定之后…
With that decided...
祝你一切好运 -祝你好运
Good luck and everything. - Good luck.
…哈蒙德和我重新上路
...Hammond and I got back on the road.
我真不知道现在是什么情况
I honestly don't know what happens now.
以前从来没有人弄坏过备用车
Nobody's ever broken the back-up car before.
我认为我们应该 让尼格尔曼塞尔来开车
I think we should get Nigel Mansell to drive it.
你意下如何 尼格尔？
What do you think, Nigel?
“我其实挺喜欢的 我觉得很有意思
"I like it actually.
“在装有捷豹发动机的 福特汽车上写着‘奶♥子♥和啤酒’”
I think it's quite funny having Titties 'n' Beer written on the side of a Ford with a Jag engine in it.
Oh!"
解除超速档
Disengaging overdrive.
天啊
Oh God!
理查德、尼格尔和我向波兰挥手告别
Richard, Nigel and I waved a fond farewell to Poland
越过边界进入斯洛伐克
and crossed over the border into Slovakia.
Oh!
准备应对车辆偏航 它来了
A break for a wee. There it is.
天啊 这真是一坨垃圾
Jesus! This is a piece of junk.
你好
Hello.
天啊 是个女人
God, it's a woman.
非常感谢 我为车上的字道歉
Thank you so much. I'm sorry about the car.
我要么开着一辆侧面写着 “奶♥子♥和啤酒”的很冒犯人的车辆
I'm either in an offensive hot rod with Titties 'n' Beer written on the side
要么就是开着克罗斯利堵住所有人
or I'm holding everybody up in the Crosley.
我从没有像这次这样 搞砸过一个录影片段
I've never screwed up a film shoot like I have this one.
半个国家之外
Half a country away,
理查德和我开始为詹姆斯感到难过
Richard and I were starting to feel sorry for James.
所以 作为好朋友 我们制定了计划 想让他振作起来
So, like the good friends we are,we hatched a plan to cheer him up.
皮埃斯塔尼飞机场
他来了
Here he comes.
没有引擎盖
He's got no bonnet.
这是他的引擎冷却方案
That's his cooling solution.
他受苦了 不是吗？ -我想是的
He's suffered. - I think he has.
梅 -你好
May. - Hello.
现在 听好了 我们可以看出来你…
Listen, we can see that
你很热 很烦躁
you're hot and bothered
而且你又错过了午餐 -是的
and you've missed another lunch...
不过别担心
Yeah. - But don't worry, because...
因为我们准备好好款待你 -是的
we've organised a treat for you.
让我看一些旧飞机
Some old aeroplanes to look at. - Yes.
是的 当然要看看米格 -好的
Look at that. A MIG.
苏式战机 雄鹿直升机
Sus, Hind helicopters.
不过这可不是款待
That's not the treat though.
要比这个更好 -好吧
No, it's better.
好多了 是的 -比这些都要好
Much better. - Better than any of these.
我们为你的克罗斯利 安排了一场短程加速比赛
We've arranged a drag race for your Crosley.
抱歉 这是开玩笑吗？ -不是的
Sorry, is it a joke? - No.
等你见过竞争对手后 一切就都清晰明了了
It will become clear when you meet the competitors.
跟我们来 -看看你的对手们
Follow us. - See who you're up against.
詹姆斯 首先 短程加速比赛第一位对手
James, drag race rival number 1.
一辆太脱拉自卸卡车
A Tatra tipper truck.