大世界之旅（2016）

and just picked it up and deposited it there.
是你们亲眼所见吗
And you saw this happen?
不 我们没看到 因为我们刚才在逛小镇的另一边
No, we didn't, cos we were looking round the other town.
我们还能想到一件事
The only other thing we can think of,
我们已经绞尽脑汁了... -是的
we've wracked our brains,
...他们这里不开罚单
is that they don't have tickets here,
如果你把车停在路中间 -没错
if you park in the middle of the road. -Yeah.
交通协管员就会用沙子填满你的车
The traffic wardens simply fill your car with sand.
这理由真是...太妙了
That's a-that's very good.
但如果我的车坏了怎么办
But what if my car doesn't work?
肯定没坏 -我怎样才能把沙子弄出来
And how the hell do I get it out?
钥匙在哪里 -你刚才放哪里了
Where's the key? -Ah. Where did you leave it?
我放在中控台上了
On the centre console, where I always leave it.
把车门打开 沙子就出来了 -车门锁上了
If you just open the doors, the sand'll fall out. Well, it's locked.
我从来不锁车
You see, I never lock my car.
就是防止这种情况的发生
Just in case this exact thing happens.
好吧 给我一把铲子 我把沙子铲出来 你们...
OK, give me a shovel, I'll get it. You...
你们就滚蛋吧
Oh, bugger off then.
留下船长去解决 他那怪异的沙尘问题之后
Having left James to sort out his freak sandstorm issue,
我们找到了后援货车
we headed for the backup van,
因为我们决定解决
because we'd decided to solve the problems
可怕的搓衣板路带来的一系列问题
caused by the horrendous washboard roads.
天啊这是...
Oh God, it's a, it's a...
烫死了
Oh, burning, ah!
谢谢
Ah! Thank you.
如果想焊接...
If you wanna do any welding.
或电锯 -或者角色扮演
Or chainsawing. Or role play.
稍等一下
Now hang on a minute.
我可以用这些做点什么
I could do something with these.
没错 我可以
Yes, I can.
当船长努力清空他的车时...
While James toiled away emptying his car...
真愚蠢
Oh, stupid.
我们忙于研究在货车里发现的东西
...we got busy with what we'd found in the van,
很快 我们用来应对搓衣板路的改装方案准备就绪
and soon our washboard solution modifications were ready.
我在货车里找到了这个
So I found this in the truck. -Yes.
这是一台耕耘机 -是的 没错
It's a cultivator. -It is.
可能会起作用 但是通常情况下
It might work, but normally
耕耘机是拖在拖拉机后面的
cultivators are towed behind the tractor.
对 但那样的话 我得先开车走过崎岖路面
Yes, but I'd have to drive over the rough road
然后耕耘机把我身后的路铺平
before cultivating it level.
这样行不通
That wouldn't work.
但这样做可以造福别人啊
No, it would be more sociable.
我不想
I'm not.
你不想造福别人 -没错
You're not what, sociable? -Sociable.
我只想让自己舒服一点 让我的日子好过一点
I want this for me to work and make my life better.
但我觉得你会认为
But I think you'll find my solution
我的改装方案比你这个优秀几百万倍
surpasses this by a factor of several million.
我真不知道威尔曼先生 为什么明知我们要来撒哈拉沙漠
I've literally no idea why Mr Wilman put two snowmobiles in the van,
还要把两辆雪地摩托放进货车里 但我很高兴他这样做了
knowing we're going to the Sahara Desert, but I'm glad he did.
容我解释一下 好吗
Let me explain. OK.
我没用滑雪板 而是在前面装了轮子
Instead of using the skis, I've fitted wheels at the front,
但轮子并不是让我们感兴趣的部分
but we're not really interested in this.
我们感兴趣的是这些履带
What we are interested in is the tracks.
它们将在我的车轮前呼啸而过
They're gonna be whizzing along in front of my wheels,
抚平搓衣板路面上的
smoothing out the ridges
各种凸起
in the washboard.
所以 当我驶过后
So when I arrive,
路面会变得难以置信的光滑 就像一张台球桌
incredibly smooth, it'll be like a billiard table.
而且它们会像 两个巨大的带式砂光机一样运转
They're gonna be going eeeee, like two massive belt sanders?
是的 非常正确 它们就是带式砂光机
Yes. Exactly right, they're belt sanders,
安装在捷豹F-Type的前部
mounted to the front of a Jaguar F-Type.
是的 -越野捷豹...越野F型
Yeah. -Off road Jag. An F-Off roader type.
很不可思议吧与其被关在一个 单调乏味的精神病院单间
It's incredible, isn't it? Rather than be locked up in a drab cell,
穿着背后系扣的病号♥服
in a jacket that does up at the back,
不如有这么多机会 让你的疯狂点子变为现实
you've had so many opportunities to make your insanity real.
成果就在眼前
There it is!
随着技术简报会结束
With the technical briefings over,
是时候将理论付诸实践了
it was time to put theory into practice.
抬升设备
Raising rig.
理查德哈蒙德 驶向未来
Richard Hammond. To the future.
我猜这座小镇上的大多数人
I'm guessing that most of the people in this town
都还没见过雪地摩托
have not yet seen a snowmobile.
等他们听说了雪地摩托的用途后 肯定会感到非常惊讶
They're going to be quite surprised to hear what its primary purpose is.
显然 我现在把它放在高位
Obviously, I have it in a raised position right now.
我可以通过液压降低它的高度
I can hydraulically lower it.
就像007的那台路特斯
It's just like James Bond's Lotus.
在普通模式下 这就是一辆普通的汽车
In normal car mode, it's just a normal car.
来到城外的搓衣板路面之后
Once we came to a washboard section of road outside the town,
我们为首次测试做好了准备
we prepared for our maiden trial.
雪地摩托开始运转
Snowmobiles are running.
好了 我要开始了
Right, I'm doing it. I'm doing it.
开始 正在降低高度
Here we go. Lowering.
我们开始
And here we go.
天啊 我觉得它起作用了
By Jove, I think it's working.
我不...真的
I mean I... Yeah.
我正在雕刻道路 正在抚平道路
I am sculpting the roads. I'm smoothing them.
我正在平整道路
I am grading the road.
天啊
God!
真不敢相信眼前的一切
Cannot believe that this is happening.
太棒了
Oh yeah.
而我就坐在这里尽情放松
And I'll just sit here now and relax.
要记住 受益人不只我一个
And it's not just me that's benefitting. Remember that.
整个非洲都会由此受益
The whole of Africa is benefitting.
石头被弹起来了 快看 耕耘机弹起了很多石头
Oh, stones are coming. See, it's kicking up some stones.
没错 会有这种情况发生
Oh yeah, that can happen. Yeah.
天啊 有几块大石头
Oh yeah, that's some big stones.
但尽管存在这个小问题
But despite this teething problem,
当我们在几公里后靠边停车 检查作业情况时
when we pulled over a few miles later to inspect our work,
结果是毫无疑问的
the results were unquestionable.
看看左手边的道路
You look on the left-hand side of the road, which is what we have graded,
也就是我们平整过的那一侧
that side,
然后再看看右手边 也就是我们没有平整过的一侧
and then look at the right-hand side of the road, which we haven't graded,
这就是...证据 -起作用了
I mean it... proof. -It works, it works.
这条路上简直都能跑F1了 -太简单了
You could run an F1 race on that. -Oh, easy.
随后我们决定满怀公益精神
We then decided to be fully public spirited,
齐头并进 这样就能把所有路面全都抚平
and drive side by side, so we could smooth out all of the road.
好了 哈蒙德 我们出发吧
OK, Hammond, let's go.
我们可以同时平整两条车道
We could do dual carriageways.
我感觉我可以更深一些
I reckon I can go a bit deeper here.
就是要...我正在学习 如何巧妙地运用这个系统
Just gotta... I'm learning to finesse the system now.
糟糕
Shit!
不好了
Oh shit!
我的天啊
Oh, my God!
我从来没有见过这样的事情
I've never seen anything like it.
我看到了一股烟 然后雪地摩托就开走了 然后...
I just saw a puff of smoke and it leapt that thing and...
但至少没有目击者 除了这辆卡车上的人之外
At least there are no witnesses. Apart from the people in this lorry.
我现在要静静地开过去 -是啊
I'm just gonna quietly move along. -Yeah.
好了
Right.
只要我跟你一起走 人们就不会发现少了一台雪地摩托
If I drive alongside, people won't spot that there's one missing.
是的 好主意 哈蒙德
Yeah, good thinking Hammond.
刚才那场景也太独特了 我也很有信心
Well, that was unique. I'm pretty confident...
我觉得耕耘机坏了
Oh, I think it just broke.
在第二次事故后 我们决定
After this second incident, we decided to abandon all road mending
放弃眼下所有的道路修补工作
for the foreseeable future.
起初 我们的实验结果非常出色
Initially, our experiment was brilliant, and then everything went
后来局面变得非常糟糕 急转直下
terribly, badly wrong...
真的是急转直下
very quickly indeed.
你准备演讲稿了吗 我准备了
Had you prepared speeches? I had.
我之前不知道自己会得 司令勋章还是官佐勋章
I didn't know whether I'd get a CBE or an OBE.
我本来指望人们为我立一尊雕像 然后请我去TED演讲
I was gonna get a statue and do a TED talk.
恐怕现在两个我都得不到了