大世界之旅（2016）

我们本来可以去医院探望詹姆斯
we could have gone to see James in the hospital,
但我们觉得探索这些恐怖的隧♥道♥
but we decided it would be more interesting
比探望詹姆斯更有趣
to explore these spooky tunnels.
这是什么玩意儿？
What the hell?
洞穴
A cavern.
那边有一个
There's one down there!
等一下
Wait a minute.
我的天啊
Holy cow.
这是冷战时期的一个潜艇基地
It's a Cold War submarine base.
这不是...是的！是个潜艇基地
No, it's not. It is, it's a sub base.
这里边到处都是...
And it's full of...
荷枪实弹的海军...
Marine, with gun, Marine.
什么...我们在哪？他们在干嘛？
What, where, what are they doing?
他们是特种部队
They're Special Forces.
是的 这些是登陆艇
Right. These are landing craft.
他看起来不是很高兴
He doesn't look very happy.
我觉得我们挡路了
I think we're in the way.
我很抱歉
I'm very sorry!
这里是什么？
Oh, what's round here?
哈蒙德 我们可能开进了一间办公室
Hammond, we may have driven into an office.
什么？
What?
特种部队正在盯着我们
The Special Forces are looking at us.
我能问一下 你是挪威人吗？
Can I just ask, are you Norwegian?
什么？ -你是挪威人吗？
Sorry? -Are you Norwegian?
我不是挪威人 不是
I'm not Norwegian, no, no.
你是哪里人？
Where are you from?
荷兰人 -你是荷兰人？
The Netherlands. -You're Dutch?
荷兰人 我们都是荷兰人
Dutch. All Dutch.
荷兰人？
Dutch?
所有人都是荷兰人？ -所有人都是荷兰人
Everyone's Dutch? -Everyone is Dutch.
当然了
Of course.
简单报告一下情况 荷兰人和挪威人正在交战
Sit rep, the Dutch and the Norwegians are at war.
这日子越来越奇怪了
The day's just got weirder.
呕 天啊！
Oh, heavens!
你好！
Hello?
杰里米 你现在 把一艘绝密潜艇的软管拖走了
Jeremy, you're pulling a top-secret submarine's hosepipe with you.
嗯 对不起
Yeah. Sorry.
他们是荷兰人
They're Dutch.
什么？ -他们是荷兰人
What? -They're Dutch.
令我震惊的是 他们谁都没有问我们
What's staggering me is not one of them has said,
“你们来这里...” -“你们来这里干什么？”
'What on earth... -'What are you doing here?'
干什么？
...are you doing here?'
我很抱歉
My apologies.
对不起
Sorry. Sorry. Sorry
谢谢你们
Thank you.
祝你们好运 继续忙吧
Good luck. Carry on.
我不知道应该支持哪个阵营 等我们出去
I don't know who's side we're on. When we come out,
我们应该支持挪威还是支持荷兰？
are we on the Norwegian side or the Dutch side?
谁拿着枪 我就举谁的国旗
I'm gonna bear the flag of whoever's holding the gun.
第二天早上 詹姆斯还在医院里
The next morning, James was still in hospital.
所以杰里米和我重新上路
So Jeremy and I got back on the road,
我们对前一天的惨烈事故仍然心有余悸
our thoughts very much on the tragic events of the day before.
有趣的是 这些意外事故的影响 “后劲”很足 我意思是...
It's funny how these things affect you afterwards. I mean,
昨天的事故给我造成创伤了
that was traumatic,
沿着那条隧♥道♥跑下去 在隧♥道♥的尽头
running down that tunnel and seeing at the end of it
看到那辆神车受伤了
that fabulous car wounded.
你想想看 哈蒙德 你撞坏过无数辆车
I'm just thinking, Hammond. You know, you've crashed countless cars over the years
但并没有什么所谓 因为它们只是一堆
and it doesn't really matter 'cause they're just
金属、塑料和玻璃 但Evo的意义可远不止于此 不是吗？
metal and plastic and glass, but the Evo's more than that, isn't it?
没错 这款车不应该 以寻常的方式碰撞或撞坏
Yeah, it's not a car that you crash or ding in the usual way.
这款车是会受伤的 因为有太多的人
It's a car that gets injured 'cause there's so much passion
对它饱含热情
wrapped up in it from a lot of people.
对我而言更糟糕的是 我失去了玩伴
And what's worse for me is I've lost my playmate.
没错 我的车失去了切磋技艺的天然对手
Yeah, I've lost my car's natural sparring partner,
能与我的车 你追我赶、相爱相杀的唯一同伴
the one car that could keep up with it, live with it.
我可是开着四驱奥迪呢！
I'm in an Audi Quattro!
你那辆车根本不是四驱奥迪 也不是拉力赛车
It's not an Audi Quattro. It's not a rally car!
被哈蒙德的批评中伤之后 我给出了一个提议
Stunned by Hammond's criticism, I made a proposal.
如果我能找到一个简易的荒野车工坊
What if I could find a rudimentary wilderness workshop
把它改成一辆拉力赛车 那该如何？
and turn it into a rally car?
好吧 如果你能 找到车工坊并且改装你的车
All right, well, if you can find one and do that,
那我也尽我所能 升级一下我的车 增加动力
I'll do the one thing I can do to improve my car and give it more power,
然后我们就来真的
then we're on.
所以 如果我改装我的车 你给你的车加强动力
So if I yobbify my car and you up the power of yours,
那这俩车就成了天然的对手
then they become natural rivals.
然后我们再比试
Then we are talking.
好的 设置卫星导航
Right. Set sat nav.
改装计划得到双方同意后
With our modding plan agreed on,
我们往南驶向瑞典边境
we hunkered down and headed for the Swedish border.
潜艇基地 瑞典
要套筒还是扳手？ -套筒
Socket or spanner? -Socket.
这个吗？
This one?
回到我们过夜的地方
Back where we'd stayed the night,
我现在出院了 正在护理骨折的肋骨
I was now out of hospital, nursing a broken rib
并全力拯救那辆身负重伤的病人
and trying to save the really badly wounded patient.
先说车头正面
Starting from the front,
在那个下边的位置 散热器坏了 漏水了
underneath there, the radiator is broken and is leaking.
冷油器严重损坏
The oil cooler is mangled.
这是中冷器的管道
This is the intercooler pipe.
可以看到 气流通过这个造型的管道
As you can see, the air flow through that
这可不是制♥造♥商的设计初衷
is not going to be as the manufacturer intended.
这个刹车卡钳 其实在撞车的时候撞裂了 已经漏了
This brake calliper actually cracked in the impact and now leaks.
这是传动轴
This is the drive shaft,
这已经...我的天啊
which is... God.
简直稀碎
That is very broken.
车体严重受损
Body work is mangled.
这个车轮位置不对 方向是错的
This wheel is in the wrong position. It's not pointing the right way.
排气管 现在已经
The exhaust, it's all now
往那个方向突出了好几厘米
several inches further that way.
这辆车受了重伤 但并没有死
This car is extremely badly wounded, but it isn't dead.
但愿...
Let's hope...
嗷 我不应该动作这么大 ...希望我们可以让它恢复原样
Ow. I shouldn't have done that. ...we can push it back into shape.
几公里之外 我们进入了另一个冬季仙境
Many miles ahead, we were in yet another winter wonderland.
这景色太壮观了
That is pretty impressive.
但我们遇到了各种问题
But there were issues,
最主要的问题是 这辆四驱奥迪的卫星导航系统
chief among which was the Quattro's satellite navigation system.
您不在数字化的道路上
You are not on a digitized road.
我在啊
Oh, I am.
我就在数字化的道路上 别犯蠢了
I am on a digitized road. Don't be stupid.
无法从此处提供推荐路线
Unable to provide recommended route from here.
您不在数字化的道路上
You are not on a digitized road.
我的卫星导航说 我正在左手边树林里大概六公里的位置
Yeah, my sat nav is saying I'm six kilometres into the wood on our left.
我们地处荒野 欧洲最后的荒野
Well, we're in the wilderness, 'Europe's great last wilderness'.
我怀疑在如此靠北的地方
I suspected that, this far north,
卫星导航很难接收到任何卫星信♥号♥♥
sat nav struggled to see any satellites.
但是没时间来求证这一点了
But there was no time to check that out
因为还有另一个问题
because of another problem.
恐怖
Terror.
迎面而来的扫雪车的速度
The speed of the oncoming snowploughs.
不要啊
No. Oh, no.
没错 他时速170
That is doing 170.
他们工作很投入啊 对吧？又来了
They are properly committed, aren't they? Here he comes.
是啊 这肯定是 车手基米莱科宁冬天的工作
Yeah. It's Kimi Raikkonen's winter job.
最终 我们设法找到了瑞典边境
Eventually, though, we managed to find the Swedish border,
并穿过边境 抵达了我之前看好的目标城镇
cross it, and reach the town I'd been aiming for.
就是这个小镇 哈蒙德
This is the town, Hammond. This is the town.
这里会有车工坊
There will be a workshop here.
要我说 大概率会有的
I'd say there's a good chance there will be.
因为他们肯定需要维修除雪机和扫雪车
They'll have snow machines and ploughs and things that need mending all the time.
果然 我们找到了一个友好的当地人 他把车工坊借给了我们
Sure enough, we found a friendly local who lent us his workshop.
在一家荒野配件店买♥♥了一些零件之后...