大世界之旅（2016）

我们沿着无数条路越走越远
We drove further and further along the myriad of tracks,
但一个小时后
but even after an hour,
我们还没看到边境入口的影子
we still hadn't found anything that looked remotely official.
这该死的边境在哪
Where's this bloody border?
我本以为会有围栏和检查站之类的
I was expecting, like, a fence and a checkpoint, maybe.
是的 然后就是查验护照等程序
Yeah, a passport and so on. Yeah, definitely.
终于 我们的搜寻有了结果
Finally, our search seemed to bear fruit.
这肯定是个边陲小镇 必须是
This has to be a border town. It has to be.
不好
Oh, no.
我有一种不详的预感
I've got a horrible feeling.
休斯顿
Houston,
我们遇到麻烦了
we have a problem.
我怀疑那就是边境
That, I suspect, is the border.
请问 这是塞内加尔吗
Excusez-moi. C'est Sénégal, là?
这是塞内加尔还是毛里塔尼亚
Sénégal. C'est Mauritanie? Sénégal ?
没错 那是塞内加尔
Senegal, right.
杰里米 我们面前有条巨大的河
Jeremy, there's a huge river in the way.
这边境的含“河”量比我预想的高
The border is a bit more rivery than I thought it was going to be.
我原以为会有围栏 -我也是
I thought fence. -I did.
没事 那有桥
That's all right. There's a bridge.
我拿手♥机♥查查
I'll get my phone out.
你怎么查 “我附近的桥”吗
What are you entering? "Bridges near me"?
这有条路
There's a road.
我们是最出色的探险家
We're the best explorers.
这有座老城
An old town there.
没有桥 -没有桥
No bridge. -No bridge.
天啊 你们是怎么...
Oh shit. How do you get to...
所以从没人开车去那吗
So nobody ever goes there in a car?
没错
No.
好吧 我沿着上游看了160多公里 都没有桥
OK, look, I've gone about a hundred miles down... upstream, and there's no bridge.
这就是为什么人们将河流视作边境
This is precisely why people use rivers as borders.
我们能把车放在... 不行
Could we get the cars on... No.
那上面吗
On that?
我想的是两艘那样的船 这也太...
Two of those boats, I was thinking about. It's a bit...
但这船... 等等
But boats that... Hang on...
如果我们自己造一艘船呢
What if we built a boat?
用灰尘或者沙子吗 -咱也不是造方舟啊
Out of dust, or sand? -I don't mean an ark.
我是指... 那种....
I just mean, like, a... What about...
我们手边有总重近六吨♥的三辆车
What have we got here? Two, four, six... Nearly six tons of car.
也不是非得造艘船 平台也行
It doesn't really need to be a boat. It just needs to be a platform.
你们看着附近 什么很多
What do you see a hell of a lot of here?
随处可见
Just anywhere you stand?
来这之后 我看到了什么
What have I seen since I got here? Dust.
灰尘 -沙子
Dust. -Sand.
山羊 -骆驼
Goats. -Camels.
没错
That's it.
还有一样 -这就有沙子和骆驼
And one other thing. -There's sand, there's camels.
数量庞大
...in vast numbers.
塑料瓶 -是的
Plastic bottles. -Yes.
压扁的塑料瓶 -是的 但是够多啊
Yes. -Flattened plastic bottle. Yes, but plenty.
我们刚刚开车压扁的 如果我们能找到
We've just driven over that one. What if we find-Well, find,
1,2... -应该是说收集到足够多的塑料瓶
Yeah, one, two... -just gather as many plastic bottles as we can.
...3, 4... -这哪哪都是啊
...3, 4. -There's one over there. Over there. They're everywhere.
这主意不错 -我们就能建个...
It's a good point. -And we build...
如果我们能有... 他们用什么做...看 渔网
If we could get-What do they do with-Look, nets.
你是说我们搞张渔网 -是的
You're suggesting we get a fishing net. -Yes.
里边装满塑料瓶 -是的
Fill it with plastic bottles. -Yes.
我相信这肯定会浮起来 -是的
I agree that would float. -Yes.
然后把车放上去 -是的
Then we put a car on it. -Yes.
我觉得这就浮不起来了
I don't agree that would float.
如果瓶子足够 可以的 -没错
It will if you have enough bottles. -Exactly.
这就是物理中的浮力 -浮力不像情人 它安全且可控
It's buoyancy. It's just physics.It's not a cruel and unpredictable mistress.
是的 这就和土地一样 -什么
No, it isn't. It's much like ground. -What isn't?
当然危险了 -浮力就是阿基米德原理 已经提出...
Of course it is. -It's Archimedes. It's been understood for...
如果浮力\安全可控 怎么还会有人溺水
Nobody would drown if it wasn't cruel and unpredictable.
这原理是古时候流传下来的 -是的
It's been known since antiquity... -Yes.
而且从未被证伪
And the rules still work.
而且 我们也是在保护环境
Also, we are tidying up.
这我同意 -没毛病
That I agree with. -That's true. Yes.
我们离开时可以还它一片净土
We're leaving the place better than we found it.
既然如此 我们是否应该放背景音乐了
On that basis, then, shall we cue the music?
奏乐
Cue the music.
这应该大有用处
That could be very useful.
完美
Perfect.
我得躺会
I need a lie-down.
别过来 好吗 说了我对你不感兴趣
No, all right? Just no. I'm not interested.
太爽了
Oh. Oh, yes.
在花了好几万买♥♥天龙特工队音乐的使用版权后
Having spent thousands of pounds on a license to use all that A-Team music,
我们终于做出了木筏
our raft was finally completed.
为了测试它的可行性
And to see whether it worked,
我们决定先用备用车试试水
we decided to send the backup van first.
我们吸引了一大群人 -是的
We've drawed a crowd. -Yes.
他们觉得我们会沉水里去 我也是
Expecting us all to drown, which we will.
那他们要失望了 -我们肯定会沉的
We won't. They'll be disappointed. -We will. We will.
克拉克森 -怎么了
What?
笔直往后 我另一侧可以吗 -安全 笔直往后
Straight back. Am I good that side? -Yeah, straight back.
好了 -这是我的主意 对吧
Right. Now, um, this is my idea, yeah?
是的 -所以这次我掌舵
Yes. -So I'm the captain. This time.
现在分工 三人各司其职
Uh, jobs. There are three.
我就在车上 到对岸之后把车开上岸
I'm going to be with the van. So my job is drive it off at the other side.
詹姆斯 你负责前面
James, you're on the front.
到对岸后 你指挥我们安全上岸
When we get there, you've got to get us on the bank and safe.
好的
Right.
杰里米 你在后面操作马达
Jeremy, you're operating the motor at the back.
但是 丑话说在前面 我觉得这事成不了
But, I just want to make this absolutely clear, I don't believe this will work.
会成功的
Oh, it'll work.
不 听我说 我也真心不想乱来
Well, no, listen. Genuinely, genuinely, I don't want any cocking around,
因为这里有传染病 是一种寄生虫
'cause there's a disease. Well, it's a parasite. Um.
血吸虫病
Schistosomiasis.
我们可以把这打在屏幕下方 大家自行搜索
Uh, we can put that on the screen at the bottom and you can Google it.
到时候你们就知道我不是在胡说了
And you'll know I'm not making this up.
这塞内加尔河里就有这种寄生虫
In the Senegal River, which is this, OK? It's a parasite.
如果掉进河里 虫子就会吸附在你的皮肤上
If you go in the water, it will attach itself to your skin,
钻进你的身体 进入你的血液
burrow through your flesh, into your bloodstream,
然后进入你的肝脏和肠道 开始产卵
where it is carried to your liver and your intestines, where it lays its eggs.
别掉进河里 无论怎样 我们一鼓作气 冲过去
Don't jump in. Whatever happens, we'll chug across there.
只有这么远 你看 就在那儿
It's only there. Look, it's there.
启动马达
Firing up the motor.
英国皇家海军"屎亡号♥"启航
HMS Shit is-aargh!
迫不及待想看我们笑话的本地人
Eager to see some comedy capsizing,
热情地帮我们推船下水
the locals were happy to push us off.
好了 -出发了
Oh yes! -We're going.
感谢
Merci ! Merci !
到那之后 你得带我们转个向
I think if you can turn us when we get out there.
好的
OK.
称呼理查德哈蒙德为"船长" 感觉太奇怪了
That feels weird, calling Richard Hammond captain.
我之所以愿意听他指挥 是因为一旦出了岔子 我可不背锅
I shall do as he says, because when it goes wrong, it won't be my fault.
虽然速度很慢 但确实在前进
It's very slow, but it is going.
慢中有稳 正正合适
Slow and steady, that's all we need.
别紧张 -只要转个向 我们就能提速了
Relax. Once we've got it turned, we'll make better headway.
早知道就带把椅子了
I should have brought a chair.
船头要转过去了
The front's coming round.
船头... -糟糕
The front is com... -Oh, shit!
看看你能发动它吗 -好的 我来试试
See if you can start it. -OK, trying the motor.
伙计们
Uh, chaps!
我们的...不见了 -什么
We've lost... -What!
没什么 别...别慌
Nothing. Don't... don't panic.
什么不见了
What have we lost?
这些该死的瓶子脱勾了
Um, we've lost some of the bloody... The bottles have come off.
什么 -什么
What? -What?