大世界之旅（2016）

And, after buying some parts at a wilderness accessories store...
胶带...
Tape...
我们都开始了改装工作
We both got down to work.
我在鼓捣发动机脉谱软件
Me with some engine-mapping software,
而杰里米则没有
and Jeremy not.
意联科技
你的脉谱怎么样？ -完成了 我现在要搞实体的改装了
How's your mapping coming along? -I'm done. I'm onto physical stuff now.
我改的不多
I'm not doing a lot.
你真的可以这么快就改变脉谱？ -是的
You can really change the map that quickly? -Yeah.
所以你刚才彻底改变了这辆车的大脑？
So you've just entirely changed this car's brain?
核心问题是 我们地处北极 这里的空气冷 浓度高
The main thing is we're in the Arctic now. The air is cold and dense,
比车辆预设的工作环境要冷得多、浓得多
much colder and denser than where this is set up for.
所以这意味着 有更多的氧气
So that means it's got more oxygen in it.
更多的... -空气中吗？
So there's more... -The air has?
是的 冷空气重量沉、密度大 富含的氧气也就更多
Yes, the cold air is heavier, denser, sits there with more oxygen in it.
它与汽油蒸气混合
So that's what you need to mix with the petrol vapor
就能在发动机里 产生可爱、强劲、不间断的爆♥炸♥
to make lovely, big, rich, juicy explosions in there.
太神奇了 -是的
That's amazing. -Yeah.
好了 我要... -等詹姆斯来这里看到这些
Right. I'm going to... -James is going to be horrified
他会被吓坏的
when he gets here to discover that
我的千斤顶...我的千斤顶去哪儿了？
my jack...Where's my jack gone?
哪也没去
Nowhere.
看那边
Look at that.
有飞蛾
Moth.
与此同时 镜头切回挪威 我的车工坊进展并不顺利
Meanwhile, back in Norway, progress in my workshop wasn't so good.
这部分...
That bit...
应该...
should be...
...在那里
...there.
这应该是长方形的
That should be rectangular.
好吧
Wow.
好了 下一个呢？
Okay, what next?
第二天早上 仍然不见詹姆斯的踪迹
The next morning, there was still no sign of James.
但哈蒙德和我 度过了一个富有成效的夜晚
But Hammond and I had had a productive night.
改装项目完成！
The yobbification program is complete!
极具特色的奥迪拉力涂装
We have the Audi rallying livery.
还有一整套 平克弗洛伊德乐队式的灯组
We have the full Pink Floyd lighting rig.
而且现在没法否认 这辆车是一辆四驱奥迪了
And there's no denying that it's a Quattro now
因为 车身上到处写满了“四驱”
because look, it says 'Quattro' everywhere on it.
我的钥匙在哪里？
Where are my keys?
我给你放在浴缸里了 这样你就不会弄丢了
I put them in that bath tub, so you won't lose them.
在那儿
There.
这可太好了
Oh, brilliant.
真是...
Utter, utter...
冻住了吗？
Has it frozen?
是的 杰里米 一浴缸的水连同我的钥匙都结冰了
Yes, Jeremy, the bath full of water has frozen with my keys in.
我往里边撒尿了
I tried to stop it freezing
想阻止它结冰
by weeing in it.
是啊 怪不得有黄色的冰
Yeah, that would explain the yellow ice.
你脑子有病
You're sick in the head.
真好笑 你干得真漂亮 -是嘛
But it's funny, it's very funny. Well done, really. -It is?
钥匙就在里边 只是 我没...-是就在里边 但我拿不到啊
Cause there they are. It's extra, I didn't... -Yeah, there they are. And yet they're not.
昨晚太冷了 不是吗？
It's just, it was cold last night, wasn't it?
是很冷吧？ -很冷吧？
Wasn't it just? -Isn't it?
最终解救出我的钥匙之后
Having eventually freed my key,
我终于能够品鉴一下自己的劳动成果
I was able to savour the fruits of my labours.
我的笔记本电脑巫术 已经将功率提升至356匹马力
Right, my laptop wizardry has taken the power up to 356 horsepower.
正如大家听到的 我升级了排气套件
I've upgraded the exhaust, as you can hear.
加装了进气过滤器套件 弹射起步 以及涡轮反迟滞系统
Induction air filter kit. Launch control. Anti-lag on the turbo.
以及最经典的涂装
And the best livery of all...
马天尼赛车 马天尼
这辆车不光在这里是最棒的
This isn't just the best car here,
而是有史以来最棒的
this is now the best car ever.
我就像一条 有两根鸡♥巴♥和一艘超级游艇的酷狗
I am like a dog with two dicks and a super yacht.
与此同时 几公里之外
Meanwhile, a few miles away,
我遇到了非常特别的景色
I'd come across something rather special.
一片结冰的湖 湖面上还有成型的赛道
A frozen lake with a race track carved onto it.
这里完全荒废了
And it was completely deserted.
直到突然间重新启用
Until it suddenly wasn't anymore.
好吧 看来哈蒙德拿到了车钥匙
Yeah, looks like Hammond has got his keys back.
天啊 加油！
Oh, my word. Come on!
这车太了不起了！
What a machine!
显然我没有动过发动机
Obviously, I haven't touched the engine.
因为根本没必要 这车的原装发动机就已经是杰作了
There was no need. It's already a masterpiece.
但我安装了一个高级的新排气系统
But I have fitted a magnificent new exhaust system.
听听这台V8发动机现在的声浪
Listen to that V8 now!
它在嚎叫
Oh, it's howling.
我可以随心所欲地撞车！ 这就是我心目中的理想天堂
I could crash when I like. This is my idea of heaven!
反向锁开启 来一个斯堪的纳维亚式漂移
Opposite lock. Scandi-flick it in.
稳住
Holding it...
这能哄哄菜鸟们
This just flatters the incompetent.
我现在完全就是瑞典人
I am now fully Swedish.
接近了
Getting close.
好吧 哈蒙德 你觉得你想超过去 是吗？
Right. Hammond, you think you wanna come past, do you?
现在 我要拿出秘密武器了
Now I'm going to unleash my secret weapon.
准备好了吗？
Ready?
来吧 克拉克森！
Come on, Clarkson.
搞什么鬼？
What the hell?
没想到吧？
You weren't ready for that!
还说这是行政车 去你的吧
Businessman's car, my ass.
这是我手工打造的新排气套件
It's my new handmade exhaust system.
设计初衷就是为了防止你超车
And it's designed to prevent you from overtaking.
我们可是在结冰的湖面上
We're on a frozen lake.
你要是把冰融化了 那可就变成一片湖了
If you melt it, it's just a lake.
烤完同事之后
Once I'd finished barbecuing my colleague,
我们停车检查了一下他车头撞到雪堆时
we pulled over to inspect the damage he'd done
给车辆造成的损伤
when he'd headbutted a snow bank.
车前脸一半都撞没了
I've lost half the front of it!
看起来就像在酒吧里打过架
It looks now like it's been in a pub brawl.
不管怎么样... -还有很多工作要做
Anyway... -More work to be done.
随后 哈蒙德去找修车所需的工具
Hammond then went off to find the tools he'd need to mend his car
他走之后 我对他的一项改装做了改动
and while he was gone, I modified one of his modifications.
随时随地
♪ Anytime, anyplace, anywhere ♪
好酒值得分享 马丁酒
♪ There's a wonderful drink you can share ♪
马丁酒
♪ It's Martin ♪
在哈蒙德发现我的手艺之前 我们收到消息
Before Hammond noticed my handiwork, we received news
龟速船长即将抵达
that Captain Slow was about to arrive.
这就让我们十分好奇
And this caused us to wonder.
“他开什么车来？”
In what?
我内心十分矛盾 一方面我非常希望他开着那辆沃尔沃
I'm strangely conflicted because I desperately want him to be in the Volvo
另一方面我又极度渴望他开着那辆Evo
and I desperately want him to be in the Evo.
我明白 我希望他开那辆沃尔沃
Yeah, I know what you mean. I want him to be in the Volvo
因为他伤害了那辆Evo 他活该
because he deserves to be in the Volvo. Just for hurting the Evo.
没错
Yeah.
不会吧
No way.
不会吧
No way.
我兴奋起来了
I am elated!
你们好！
Hello.
我们俩...喜怒交加
We are pleased and angry simultaneously.
不好看 -确实 简直是弗兰肯斯坦科学怪人的Evo
It's not pretty. -No. It's like Frankenstein's Evo.
但它活下来了
And it lives as well.
有哪些零件坏掉了？
What was broken on it?
有中冷器、散热器、冷油器、车轮、摆臂
Well, the intercooler, radiator, oil cooler, wheel wishbone,
顶部摆臂、传动轴、底盘、导轨、车门
top wishbone, drive shaft, chassis rail, door,
排气 以及发动机错位 -你伤得可真不轻
exhaust, engine out of alignment. -You really did hurt.
比这更糟糕的是 全世界有一半的人都恨你
It's worse than that. Half the people in the world hate you
因为你毁了一辆Evo 全世界的人分为两大阵营
because you destroyed an Evo. And people, it divides into
一半喜欢斯巴鲁 另一半喜欢Evo 喜欢斯巴鲁的那一半
people who like Subarus and like Evos. But the other half of the world
也同样恨你 因为你带走了斯巴鲁惺惺相惜的对手
also hates you because you took away the Subaru's competitor.
综上所述 所有人都恨你 -Evo还在这里啊
So, everybody hates you. -Erm, It's still here.
是的 -你错过了很多测试
Yes. -But you have missed a lot of testing.
我们已经得出结论 在隧♥道♥中 奥迪比斯巴鲁快
We've established that the Audi is faster than the Subaru, in the tunnel.
而且也已经确定 在结冰的湖面上奥迪更有趣、速度更快