大世界之旅（2016）

We both, we share a gearbox.
中控锁刚刚启动了
The central locking just went off.
把车门锁上了
It just locked its doors.
几小时后
Several hours later,
天网推着我只有一个档位的车 驶入努瓦克肖特
Skynet propelled my one gear car into Nouakchott,
我终于能找到稳定的无线网络
where there was good enough Wi-Fi
让我连接诊断笔记本
for me to connect the car's malfunctioning brain
一窥这颗失控的大脑
to a diagnostic laptop.
好吧 一个档位跑了320公里
Right, 200 miles on one gear.
通过笔记本 我在用0和1跟它交流
So laptop, I'm talking to it in zeros and ones,
用它能够理解的计算机语言
the language it understands.
我倒要看看他到底在怕些什么
And I'm now going to see what it's panicking about.
他操心的事情可真多 我的天啊
It's worrying about a lot. Oh my God!
车门模块
I'm in passenger door model,
这辆车在担心车门 担心变速箱
it's worrying about its door. Worry about your gearbox.
全球定位模块 这就是它说我在诺丁汉的原因
Global positioning module, that's why I was in Nottingham.
我相信这里面大部分都不是机械故障
I don't believe most of these are mechanical faults.
车本身没出什么问题 就是不太爽
Nothing's gone wrong. It's just got upset.
如果我按下这个按钮
If I hit this,
本质上就是"别担心"
this is basically the "don't worry" button.
我要按了
I'm going to do it.
忘了这些吧 系统正在清理故障码
Forget about it. It's clearing them.
请把车辆的控制权还给我
Please, give me control of the car,
让我驾驶
and let me drive.
但愿...我不敢看
So, hopefully... Can't look.
好了 这下好了
Yeah! There you go!
它没有要抱怨的了
That's nothing to moan about.
我应该可以换挡了
So I think I've got gears.
努瓦克肖特 人口150万
第二天早上 当我们出发四处闲逛时
The next morning, as we set off to look around town,
见证奇迹的时刻到了
it was the moment of truth.
我的车换档了 真的换挡了
It changed gear! It changed gear! It changed gear!
我有档位了 刚刚换档成功了
I've got gears. It just changed gear.
约翰康纳: 电影《终结者》中的角色，人类反抗军领袖
约翰康纳开始反击了
So, John Connor, you're fighting back.
没错
Oh yes!
我们本来只是随便逛逛 但没过多久
Our aim was to do a bit of sightseeing, but immediately we got distracted
我们就被这里汽车的英姿所深深吸引
by the heroic brilliance of Mauritania's cars.
看哪 这辆车完全趴地了
Yes, the suspension's gone.
他刚刚撞上了 撞车了
He's just crashed. He just crashed.
我也听到了
Is that what that noise was?
这辆车之所以会被撞成这样
Maybe, one explanation for some of the crashes that happened to this car
原因之一是你根本看不清车外
is the fact that you can't see out of it.
他们打算把车开到什么时候啊
When, when does it stop being a car?
完全动不了的时候吧 在那之前都能凑活开
I suppose when it stops moving. Until then, it's a car.
正开着呢就突然报废了
I think one day it's driving on, and just disappears.
呃 -太危险了
Eww. -Oh, that wasn't good.
快躲开 他没打算停车
He's going to keep, he's gonna keep going.
你真棒 -他停不了车
Fantastic. -He can't stop.
小伙子有一只手要抓着车门 -看这辆
That bloke got to hang on to the door. -Another one.
我喜欢前面竖着的行人保护装置
I like the pedestrian safety feature.
但这辆车还能开啊
But it's working! It's...
哈蒙德 再瞧瞧你
Hammond you worried about your Aston, and honestly...
和眼前所见相比
Well, that's why I can't make a fuss, isn't it? I mean,
我确实不应该小题大做
I've only kind of started.
看了一圈毛里塔尼亚战马之后
Having lapped up these Mauritanian war horses,
我们决定找个咖啡厅喝一杯...
we decided to go to a café for a drink...
热腾腾的黄褐色液体
of hot brown water.
我想知道这里的检测场长什么样
What does an MOT testing centre look like here I wonder.
隐形的 -快看那辆奔驰
Invisible. -Ah! A Mercedes. Look,
每块面板都不止修过一次 -不止一次
every panel, more than once. -Not just once.
都是岁月的痕迹啊
Oh yeah, that's a lifetime's work.
说说你的车吧 约翰 天网仍然占据上风吗
And, John, how's your car, or is Skynet still winning?
我对抗它 它反击我
I'm fighting it, and it's fighting back.
莎拉康纳: 电影《终结者》中的角色，约翰康纳的母亲
它有没有问 "你是莎拉康纳吗"
Has it said, "Are you Sarah Connor?"
博格人:《星际迷航》中的虚构种族，半机械生化人
我在考虑加入博格人来正面对抗它
I'm wondering if I can sign up to be part of the Borg, and fight it directly.
这辆太牛逼了
That is a cracker!
你看啊
Look at that.
配色不错
That's nice.
多惬意 胳膊伸在外面
He's cruising, arm out the window.
这虽然不是茶 但也挺好喝的
That isn't tea, but it is quite nice,
就连你都会说好喝
and even you will say it's quite nice.
里面可能有一些茶
It might have some tea in it.
我宁愿喝杯啤酒 -你什么
I'd rather have a beer. -You what?
我宁愿喝杯啤酒
I'd rather have a beer.
说到这件事 我知道...
Now on that front... I know
世界上所有首都里都有一家连锁的酒类专卖♥♥店
of a chain of off-licences to be found in every single capital city in the world,
即便在这样一个禁酒的穆♥斯♥林♥国家
and even in a dry country, a Muslim country like this one, which is very dry,
这样严格禁酒的国家 也能喝到金汤力
you could always get a gin and tonic
或者一杯清爽的啤酒
or a refreshing pint of beer.
在这里是吗 店名是什么 -是的 很多地方都有
An off-licence here. What's it called? -It's everywhere.
叫英国大使♥馆♥
It's called the British Embassy.
是吗
Ah! Is it?
大使♥馆♥是英国的主♥权♥领土
That is sovereign British territory.
对 -所以我们能...
Yes. -So we can...
他们一定会热烈欢迎我们 你这身可能差点意思
They're bound to welcome us, perhaps less so you,
然后我们就可以喝到酒了
and then we can have a refreshing drink.
大使♥馆♥在哪儿 -喝完茶再走
Where is it? -Finish your tea.
我不想喝
I don't want it.
在哈蒙德的坚持下 我找到了大使♥馆♥的电♥话♥号♥码
At Hammond's insistence, I found the number for the embassy,
预约成功 然后立即前往大使♥馆♥
got us an appointment, and we headed over there... immediately.
这就是这份工作中我最喜欢的部分
This is my favourite part of this job,
来到这样的一座城市
getting to a town like this...
四周充满了各种市井的声音
Just the buzz you get from a town like this.
我了个老天爷啊
Gordon Bennett!
哈蒙德出事故了
Hammond's had an accident.
他撞了我的阿斯顿
He's just rammed my Aston.
不会吧 有人撞上了他"崭新的"DB9
Oh no, someone's driven into his pristine DB9.
开车小心点 哈蒙德
You should drive more carefully, Hammond.
不赖我 他直接挤过去了
It wasn't me! He just went through.
好了各位 我找到了全场最佳
OK, we have a winner. Ladies and gentlemen, we have a winner.
我根本看不出来这是什么车
I have no idea what it is, or was.
我是真的看不出来
Well, I actually genuinely don't know what that was.
毫无头绪 看起来有点像旅行车
Not a clue, but it's a bit of estate car.
我觉得这个游戏可以到此为止了
I think that's the end of our car spotting here,
没人能击败这辆车
because you simply cannot beat that.
安全行驶了几公里之后 我们到达了英国大使♥馆♥
After a few crash-free miles, we arrived at the British Embassy.
就是这里了 伙计们 这是我们的俱乐部
It's here, chaps. Here is our club.
怎么称呼他们 "尊敬的大使"还是什么
Do you address them as Your Ambassadorship, or something like that?
"至高无上的您"
Yes, your Supreme-beingship.
还是直接叫"地主"吧
Or how about just 'landlord'?
金酒
Gin!
听我说
Anyway, listen, listen.
我觉得最有礼貌的方式是 有人问你"您要喝一杯吗"
I find it polite when somebody says "Can I offer you a drink," you say, no,
你说"不用了" 他们会追问"您确定吗"
and then they're, "Are you sure," and you go, "Well..."
你说"确定 不喝了" 然后你看一眼手表 说
And you look at your watch, and go,
"好吧 那就喝这一杯"
"Well, all right, just the one."
不能直接说"我喝"
But you don't say yes straight away.
不要"您喝金汤力吗" "喝" 别这样
Because, "Would you like a gin and tonic?" "Yes!" Don't do that.
这样才有礼貌 -对 没错
Yeah, I think it's polite, -yes, yes, yeah.
我脑子里只有金酒
I can only think about gin.
访客簿
这环境也太好了吧
Ooh that's very nice. Ooh isn't that very nice.
只有英国人会这样做
Only the British do this.
还有草坪 竟然有草坪
There's a lawn. That's a lawn.
那里有个吧台 但别往那边看
There's a bar, but don't look at it.
你们好 -早上好
Hey! -Good morning.
早上好 你们好吗 我是科林韦尔斯
Good morning. How are you? Colin Wells.
很高兴见到你们
It's very nice to meet you.
你们看上去不错 -啊对对对
You're looking very smart. -Oh yes.
他和终结者搏斗了一整晚 所以衣服有点脏
He spent all night fighting the Terminator. Hence the shirt.