大世界之旅（2016）

因为我急需让你们俩摆正自己的位置
'cause I genuinely do need to put you two in your place.
我受过你们很多非议 我都坦然接受了
I've had a lot of abuse, I've taken it well, I think,
但现在我就是需要静悄悄地
but now I just need to quietly and silently
让你们俩摆正自己的位置
put you in your boxes.
祝你好运吧
Good luck with that.
然而 令人高兴的是 经过...说实话吧 拐错几次弯之后
Happily, however, after a few, let's be honest, wrong turns,
我们来到了这里
we ended up here.
我们这是到哪里了？
What have we come to?
有点意思
This is interesting.
那是石头 -这是条有模有样的隧♥道♥
That's rock. -It's a proper tunnel look.
已经用混凝土加固过了
It's been concreted over.
像是个石窟 -那是喷射混凝土吧 不是吗？
It's like a grotto. -That's spray concrete, isn't it?
就在那上面... -是的
Just onto the... -Yeah.
所以这些灯会像恐怖片里一样亮起来吗？
So, do these lights now come on like you see in those horror films?
你真的是... -没错
You're just... -Ooh.
你们知道我在想什么吗？
You know what I'm thinking?
这里 -是啊 这条路是干的
This? -Well, it's dry.
不会打滑 而且是直路 -是直路
t's not skiddy. And it's straight. -It's straight.
你是想提议举♥行♥计时赛 或者比试一下谁的车速最快吗？
So, do you want, are you proposing timed run or who can achieve the highest speed?
肯定是比谁的车速最快 对吧？
Well, it would have to be the highest speed, wouldn't it?
如果...
What if...
那是尽头么？
Is that the end?
老天爷 太吓人了
Jesus. This is astonishing.
看来有人整了一出好戏啊
Somebody's got a sense of drama here.
要我说 这...非常重要的是
Wow, this is, you do, it is quite important, I would say,
为了舒适起见 撞上墙之前一定要停下来
for comfort's sake, you stop before this.
没关系的 因为撞上之前 这里有一片砾石栏截坑能把你拦下来
No, you'll be fine, though, 'cause there's a gravel trap to stop you before you hit it.
那我们一个一个来 因为不可能同时比
So we're doing this individually, 'cause you can't do it at the same time.
什么？不会吧 -没错
What? Oh, no. -Obviously.
所以我们一个一个来
So, we do it one at a time.
怎么记录自己的车速呢？
How would you actually record what speed you've done?
我们在仪表盘上 安装一个GoPro摄像头...
We put a GoPro camera on the dash.
没错 -...上面能看到车速
Yes. -And then that will reveal the speed.
车上再坐一个别人
Somebody else goes in the car with you to verify
验证一下车速 -不, 我们才不要坐你的车
how fast you're seeing. -No, we're not going in a car with you.
这车我可不敢坐
We're not getting in a car with you
我们才不坐 -你开车往墙上撞
driving towards a wall. -We're not!
我们都知道你不懂啥时候该刹车
We know you don't know when to stop.
那好 那就用GoPro -那我先来
Yes, it's gotta be GoPros. -Right. So I'll go first.
好的 -其实 你最好第二个上
Yes. -Actually, you better go second,
因为他跑完之后肯定会有碎石坠落
'cause it'll be difficult driving over the rubble after he's done it.
随着灯光全部熄灭
With all the lights extinguished,
我排在了隧♥道♥入口
I lined up at the entrance of the tunnel.
你感觉自己很勇敢吗？
Are you feeling brave?
说实话 眼前这...非常可怕
I mean, I'm looking... That's a scary thing.
根本看不到尽头的墙在哪里
You can't even see where the wall is at the end.
撞上的时候你就知道在哪里了
You will when you get there.
这就是问题所在 只有快撞上墙之前 才能...
That's the trouble. Moments before you arrive, those...
随着车驶入隧♥道♥深处 会把左右两侧的墙纷纷撞塌
As the car spins down the tunnel, it'll get shorter as you knock each end off.
只剩下你的驾驶舱还在...
Until there's just your cabin going...
好了 我觉得他要开始了
Right. I think he's doing it.
加油 杰里米 勇敢一点
Come on, Jeremy. Be brave.
天啊 车轮空转了 根本没有抓地力
Oh, there's wheel-spin there. No, I'm not getting any grip.
老天 灯不亮了！
Oh, my God, the lights aren't coming on. Oh!
我靠...万能的老天爷啊
Jesus Christ Al-bloody-mighty!
真他♥娘♥的♥
Bloody hell.
怎么样？
How was it?
你们肯定不会喜欢的
You're not going to enjoy it.
就在我把车停到隧♥道♥旁洞时
While I parked my car in a side tunnel...
詹姆斯也在起点就位了
James took his place at the start.
准备好了吗？好的 -准备好了
Okay, you ready? Right. -Yes.
我能出发了嘛 -詹姆斯梅准备就绪
Can I just go? -James May is ready
我们马上出发 做好防撞准备
and will be setting off very shortly. Brace. Brace. Brace.
我已经布置好折叠椅 捧着一本好书静候了
Right. I've got the deck chair out and a good book.
随时可以开始
In your own time, begin.
詹姆斯梅轻快起步
That was a brisk start for a James May.
撞得很严重
Big one. Big one. Big one.
快叫医生过来
Let's get the medics.
好了 你能站起来吗？
All right, are you okay to stand up?
好的 跟我来
Okay, hello. Come with me.
我叫一辆救护车进来 我们给你做一下检查 好吗？
I'm gonna get an ambulance in, and we're gonna check you out, okay?
他在哪？
Where is he?
我看到他脑袋狠狠撞上了B柱
I saw his head clobber the side of the B pillar.
他简直飞起来了...
I mean, he went flying.
车身侧面撞上了墙
You know, that was, he went in sideways into this wall.
救护车来了 他们会把你接走
The other ambulance is here, so they're gonna take you in
这样我们就能...
so we can...
我的后背很疼
It hurts on the back of my back.
哪里疼？沿着脊椎疼？还是后背中间？
Like where? Down the centre or middle?
对 就是你手碰的这里 就是这里
Yeah, um... Yeah, exactly where your hand is.
你感觉怎么样？
How are you feeling?
感觉很不舒服
A bit shit.
我的车废了是不是？
Erm, the car's [bleep], isn't it?
反正不是很好 -这车你肯定是开不出去了
It's not... It's not well. -You won't drive it out of here.
好吧
Okay.
我只能开沃尔沃了
I'm in the Volvo.
所以你没有损伤吗？ -好像没有
So nothing's broken? -Doesn't seem to be.
脑袋没受伤？ -没有 但我脖子疼 狠狠伤到了...
Head's not hurt? -No, my neck hurts. I got a big...
颈椎扯伤了? -嗯
Whiplash? -Mm.
人没死 不错嘛
Well, well done for not dying.
詹姆斯被送往医院之后
After James was carted off to hospital,
我们只有一件事可做了
there was only one thing we could do.
做好准备 我要来了
Stand by. Here I come.
挂挡
I'm putting it in gear.
好了
Right.
他来了！
Here he comes. Here he comes.
刹车
Braking, braking.
好了
Yeah.
耶！
Yeah!
原力受到了扰动
There has been a disturbance in the force.
你的车四个轮子都在
You've arrived on all four wheels
是的 -你的裤子也完好无损
I know. -with your trousers still on.
是啊 不必麻烦医护人员剪开了 -而他却进医院了
Yeah, they haven't had to cut them off. -He's in a hospital.
随着哈蒙德跑完比赛 是时候公布结果了
With Hammond's run done, it was time to reveal the results.
好了 我的车速在这里
Right, I've got mine here.
我的时速大概是125公里
I'm going about 78 there.
是的 离130还差一些
Yeah, just off the 80 mark.
离130只差一点点 我觉得... -这成绩不错
Just shy of 80, which I think. -It's not bad.
相当不错了 但我要给你一个惊喜
is pretty good. But I'm going to surprise you now.
这是詹姆斯梅的
James May's.
速度完全一样 -可不是吗
It's exactly the bloody same. -I know.
不可思议 -太不可思议了
That's uncanny. -It is uncanny.
的确... -而且他开的那辆车
Actually... -And he's driving a car
我们都知道本来就比我的慢很多
which we know is massively slower than mine
换句话说 他这次跟你平时的表现一致
Which means he did what you usually do
踩油门加速时间过长
and accelerated for far too long.
他偷了我的独门技术
He's stolen my thing.
其实还挺难的 因为不能把他归为“未完赛”
Actually, this is difficult because you can't put him down as a DNF
因为他确实完成了 车就在那儿嘛 -他完成了
'cause he did finish. It's there. -Oh, he finished.
但我觉得 我们不得不说他输了 因为我不光比完了赛
But I think he, we'll have to say he lost, because I finished
而且还能开自己的车回家
and can drive home in my car.
但首先 先看看你的成绩
But let's, but first of all, come on, you.
我和梅都是125公里
We're both 78.
你这才32 -对
And that's 32. -Yeah.
而且还是公制仪表盘！ -算是吧
And that's KPH. -A bit, yeah.
我就是看到了詹姆斯的结局
I saw what James did,
心里就想：“不行 这次我可不能撞”
and I just thought, 'No, this time'.
这次实验很不错 我们完成得很出色
Well, I think that was a good experiment. Well done us.
这跟我设想的不太一样 -可不是嘛...
It's not quite what I had in mind. -No, it's...
重要工作完成之后
With our important work done,