河谷镇

Riverdale S07E05

Part 4 Aug. 25, 2023, 6:01 p.m.

A terror-tale I'm calling "My Better Half."
《我的另一半》
阿奇是个好孩子
Archie's a good egg,
但在做决定时是个傻瓜
but a half-wit when it comes to decision-making.
几何学测验
他在所有多项选择题中最基本的问题上苦苦挣扎
He struggles with the most basic of all multiple-choice questions.
他应该选择A 那个邻家女孩
Should he go for A, the girl next door?
还是B 那个富家名媛
Or, B, the rich starlet-socialite?
但他一时被猪油蒙心
But, in a rare stroke of mad genius,
阿奇选择了C 两者都要
Archie chose C, both of the above.
所以每周一三五
So on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays,
阿奇约贝蒂出去
Archie takes Betty out.
周二周四周六
And on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays,
他会约维罗妮卡出去
he takes out Veronica.
这个繁忙日程的缺点之一
The one downside to this break-neck schedule
是阿奇有时候会因为过度疲劳而倒下
was that Archie would, on occasion, collapse from sheer exhaustion.
但没有什么问题
But it was nothing that couldn't be rectified
是一杯浓咖啡解决不了的
with a strong cup of coffee.
或者四杯
Or four.
但即使对强壮的年轻男人来说
But even for a strapping young buck,
一周约会六次也会让人精疲力尽
six dates a week will wear a fella out.
所以阿奇才会把周日留给自己
That's why Archie saved Sundays for himself.
休息恢复为接下来的一周补充能量
To rest, recover, and replenish for the week ahead.
你可能以为阿奇会试图隐藏自己的恋情
Now, you might think Archie would try to keep his relationships a secret,
但他没有
but he didn't.
贝蒂和维罗妮卡知道他在和另一个女孩约会
Betty and Veronica knew he was dating the other.
但她们俩都想独占阿奇
Still, each girl wanted Archie all to herself.
明晚巴比伦乐园放映《双重赔偿》
They're playing Double Indemnity at the Babylonium tomorrow night,
如果你想在后排亲热一下的话
if you want to play a little back-row bingo.
我也想去但我有安排了
Oh, I wish I could swing it, but I got plans.
意思是你和维罗妮卡有约
Meaning, you've got a date with Veronica.
你什么时候才会放弃那个脑袋空空如也的花瓶
When are you gonna drop that vapid airhead?
拜托别因为这事闹
Oh, please, don't get razzled.
我为什么不该闹
Why shouldn't I?
我得跟那个臭男人婆分享我的情郎
Having to share my beau with that smelly tomboy.
我不能让你开心吗
Don't I make you happy?
当然能了
Of course you do.
那为什么有我一个还不够
Then why aren't I enough?
拜托不是那样的
Oh, come on. It's not like that.
嘿你们两人是那么不一样
Hey, you guys are both so different.
但我告诉你一个秘密
But let me let you in on a little secret.
我最喜欢你了
You're my favorite.
真的吗 -真的吗
Really? -Really?
阿奇
Oh, Archie.
你是怎么做到的安德鲁斯
How do you do it, Andrews?
同时拥有两个女人你的秘诀是什么
Two broads at the same time. What's your secret?
听好因为我只说一次好吗
All right, listen, 'cause I'm only gonna say this once, okay?
你说她们想听的话
You tell them what they wanna hear.
是的我在和其他女孩约会但是
That, yes, I'm seeing other girls, but...
我只对你认真
I'm only serious about you.
你对她们说这三个简单的字
You feed them the same three simple words.
"你是我的最爱"
"You're my favorite."
准确地说那是六个字
Technically, that's four words,
"你是"是缩写
"You're" is a contraction.
"你是我的最爱"
"You are my favorite."
六个词 -闭嘴多利
Four words. -Shut up, Doiley.
我们在向唐璜学习
We're learning from Don Juan here.
但你有时不会觉得
But don't you ever get...
筋疲力尽吗
exhausted?
当然所以上帝才发明了周日和咖啡
Sure, but that's why God invented Sundays, and coffee.
一切都可能进展顺利直到毕业的那一天
Things might've kept humming along as-is until graduation day,
但阿奇这艘大船正在驶向冰山
but the Good Ship Archie was headed for an iceberg.
今年的情人节
Valentine's Day,
灾难般的是个周日
which, this year, disastrously, landed on a Sunday.
维罗妮卡哪个幸运的家伙约你过情人节
So, Veronica, who's the lucky guy taking you out for Valentine's Day?
当然是阿奇金斯
Archiekins, of course.
继续做梦吧阿奇是我的约会对象
Keep dreaming. Archie is my date.
贝蒂作为一个聪明的女孩你真的很笨
You know, Betty, for a smart girl, you really are dense.
阿奇要和他最好的女孩一起过情人节
Archie is gonna spend V-Day with his best girl.
那就是我
And that's me.
那是你说的 -他说的
Says you. -Says him.
阿奇金斯说他和你在一起的唯一原因
Archiekins says the only reason he spends time with you
是因为他可怜你
is because you're a charity case.
首先他讨厌别人叫他"阿奇金斯"
First of all, he hates being called "Archiekins."
其次他会花时间陪你的唯一原因
Second of all, the only reason he spends any time with you at all
是因为你的自尊太脆弱了
is because your ego is so fragile,
他担心如果他跟你分手你会做出什么
he's afraid you might do something desperate or crazy
绝望或疯狂的事
if he breaks up with you.
他说我很脆弱
He said I'm fragile?
就像个珠宝蛋一样
Aw, as a Glamourge Egg.
他说你总是紧绷绷的
Well, he told me you're so high-strung,
有时为了入睡你会吃你妈妈的安♥眠♥药♥
you sometimes take your mom's sleeping pills to go to bed.
他告诉你的
He told you that?
看来有人把你俩耍得团团转
Sounds like someone's been playing you two for fools.
那个卑鄙小人 -那个卑鄙小人
That rat fink.
阿奇你必须马上选择
Archie, you have to choose right now.
谁会在情人节和你约会
Who's gonna be your date for Valentine's Day?
当然在你选了我之后
And after you pick me, of course,
你需要和贝蒂分手彻底分手
you need to end things with Betty, permanently.
女士们我们都冷静一下
Ladies, ladies. Let's all calm down.
事实上
In fact...
你们两个都不能做我情人节的约会对象
neither of you can be my date on Valentine's Day.
为什么 -为什么
Why not? -Why not?
因为我要选择我妈妈
'Cause I'm taking my mom.
对她来说这是我爸爸不在的第一个情人节
You see, it's her first Valentine's Day without my dad, and...
所以她需要我
And, well, she needs me.
希望你们能理解
I hope you guys can understand.
阿奇我们当然理解
Archie, of course we understand.
你真是贴心又体贴
That's so sweet and thoughtful.
抱歉我们给你压力了
I'm sorry we pressured you.
我也是这是她的主意
Me too. It was her idea.
你们不应该因为我
Well, you guys shouldn't have to miss out on Valentine's Day
而错过情人节
on account of me.
你们一定还有其他男生可以约一下
There must be some other guys you can go out with.
是啊贝蒂找别人吧
Yeah, Betty. Find somebody else.
不
No.
不真的没关系
No, it's really okay.
我一直在拖延一份能获得额外学分的报告所以
There's an extra-credit report that I've been putting off, so...
至于我《法国小姐》杂♥志♥上发布了一款蛋白面膜的配方
As for me, Mademoiselle published a recipe for an egg-white face mask
我一直很想试试所以我会很忙
I've been dying to try, so that'll keep me busy.
好所以你俩这周日晚上都要待在家里了
Okay, so you're both staying in this Sunday night, then?
但周日晚上一到
But when Sunday night rolled around,
贝蒂和维罗妮卡决定不留在家里
Betty and Veronica decided against staying in
而是一起过情人节
and went on a Valentine's date together.
想象一下她们看到走进门的人是谁后有多么惊讶但
So imagine their surprise when who should walk in, but...
他怎么会这样
He wouldn't.
他不能这样
He couldn't.
那个卑鄙小人 -那个卑鄙小人
That rat fink. -That rat fink.
等等
Wait.
不管你要做什么
Whatever you're about to do...
我有个更好的主意
I have a much better idea.
贝蒂
Betty.
维罗妮卡
Veronica.
怎么了
What's going on?
我们在想你和你妈妈的情人节约会怎么样
We were wondering how your Valentine's date went with your mom.
是啊挺好的
Yeah. It was nice.
很安静
Quiet.
为什么这么问
Why?
因为那晚的休息让我们有机会思考了一下
Well, because a night off gave us a chance to reflect,
而且既然你如此难以在我们俩之间
and since you've been having such a hard time
做出选择
deciding between the two of us,
我们就想