河谷镇

Riverdale S07E05

Part 1 Aug. 25, 2023, 6:01 p.m.

我应该不用提醒各位这次会议从未举♥行♥过
I don't have to remind you gentlemen that this meeting never took place.
当然不用布罗森镇长
Of course not, Mayor Blossom.
艾赛尔马格斯过去修女那边后她话多吗
Has Ethel Muggs been talking much since she's been with the Sisters?
一声不吭
Not a peep.
伍德豪斯修女颁布了禁言令
Sister Woodhouse has imposed a vow of silence.
很好家长教师联谊会呢 -家长们还在生气
Very good. What about the PTA? -Parents are still upset.
每次开会他们都在讨论"谁杀了马格斯先生和太太"
It's all they talk about at our meetings. "Who killed Mr. and Mrs. Muggs?"
人们如果总是关注这起谋杀案
As long as people remain focused on this murder case,
我们对局势的把握就会越发不稳定
the more precarious our grasp of the situation becomes.
警长办公室在做什么 -汤姆在找"送奶工"
What's the sheriff's office doing? -Tom is trying to find this "milkman."
还有凶器 -他为什么要这么做
And the murder weapon. -Why is he doing that?
凶器就在这里
I have the murder weapon right here.
《暴♥政♥的恐怖地带》
你想说什么弗里德里克
What are you getting at, Fredreich?
我们要停止对马格斯谋杀案旧事重提
We have to stop rehashing the Muggs murder case
而是要确保这样的事情再也不会发生
and start making sure that something like it never happens again.
根据我广泛的研究在很多案例中
Now, in my extensive research, in case after case,
漫画书是大多数青少年犯罪
comic books are the influencing factor
和青少年暴♥力♥事件的重大影响因素
in most incidents of juvenile delinquency and teen violence.
先生们它们是一种道德祸害
They are a moral scourge, gentlemen,
它们的创作者是堕落的罪犯
and their creators criminal degenerates.
这才是家长教师联谊会应该谈论的话题
That's what the PTA should be talking about.
漫画书而不是马格斯一家
Comic books, not the Muggs.
而且我相信我知道如何实现这一点
And I believe I know exactly how to make that happen.
看看是谁啊想进来随时就进来了
Well, look who strolls in whenever his heart desires.
你有什么事孩子 -我只是刚好在附近
What do you want, kid? -I was just in the neighborhood.
大家都去哪里了 -都吃坏肚子请假了
Where is everyone? -All out with a stomach bug.
我的处境比泰坦尼克号♥还遭 -我能帮忙吗
I'm under more water than the Titanic. -Can I help?
我需要一整期 -我没问题
I need a full issue. -I can do that.
明早之前写好 -没问题菲尔斯顿先生
Written by tomorrow morning. -No problem, Mr. Fieldstone.
我效率高也很少出错
I'm fast, I'm a great speller.
四个故事每篇七页不能出任何差错
Four stories, seven pages each, zero margin for error.
我愿意免费写如果你喜欢这些作品那就太棒了
I'll write them on spec. If you like them, then great.
如果不行的话我还有更多的想法
If not, there's plenty more where that came from.
好吧
All right.
如果你在点子方面遇到困难
If you have trouble coming up with some ideas,
拿着这些写作灵感
take these springboards.
和伯尼谈谈
Talk them through with Bernie.
我会的我不会让你失望
I will. I won't let you down.
伯尼
Bernie!
邪教火箭拳击手义警收割器官
天啊伯尼这些故事都被写烂了
Gosh, Bernie, all these stories have been done to death.
就没有些原创创意了吗 -年轻人说得容易
Aren't there any original ideas anymore? -Says the teenager.
伯尼你是个天才
Bernie, you're a genius.
那关于青少年和高中的故事呢
What about stories about teenagers and high school?
佩普漫画没画过这种的对吗
Pep Comics doesn't have any of those, right?
阿尔说他对这些题材没有共鸣但青少年的确会买♥♥我们的书
Uh...Al says he doesn't relate to them. But teenagers do buy our books.
岂有此理我和我的朋友们会买♥♥
Well, shucks, me and my friends do.
那怪异食堂大妈的主视角故事呢
What about a narrator that's actually a witchy lunch lady?
或是令人毛骨悚然的清洁工
Or a creepy janitor?
我们可以叫它"恐怖教室" 如何
We can call it "Homeroom of Horrors." Huh?
你觉得菲尔斯顿先生会喜欢吗 -当然试试吧
You think Mr. Fieldstone will bite? -Sure. Give it a whirl.
我饱受折磨的小天才在这里呢
There's my little tortured genius.
你能不能暂停一下对下一部伟大美国小说的撰写
Think you could take a break from writing the next great American novel
带这位美女去看场有趣的电影
and take this glamor-gal to go see a fun flick?
《恶魔》正在巴比伦乐园上映我知道你不介意看字幕
Diabolique is playing at the Babylonium, and I know you don't mind subtitles.
我们能明天去吗我赶着截稿
Ooh. Could we go tomorrow maybe? I'm on deadline.
阿尔让我在早上之前写完一整期
Al has asked me to write an entire issue by morning.
一整期
An entire issue?
听起来像是你接管了全局
Sounds like a bit of a coup for you.
是的但压力也很大
Yeah, it is. But it's also a lot of pressure.
但如果我今晚写出的这几页很不错
Though if I do a bang-up job on these pages tonight,
菲尔斯顿就可能让我做他的专用写手
Fieldstone could ask me to be one of his go-to's.
好吧我那部讲述凶残学校老师的法国惊悚电影可以随后再看
Okay. Okay, my French thriller about murderous school teachers can wait.
但既然我来了也许我能帮你
But since I'm here, maybe I can help you.
你写到哪里了 -我第一个故事就快写完了
How far have you gotten? -I'm almost done with my first story.
我洗耳恭听讲的是什么
I'm all ears. What's it about?
体育主题因为还有什么比体育课更可怕呢
Sports-themed. Because what's scarier than gym class?
里面有个旁白角色和我之前编的故事一样
And it has a narrator, like all of my yell yarns will.
叫做钥匙保管员
Um, called the Key-Keeper.
我请佩普漫画的一位画家画了个草图
I had one of the artists at Pep Comics do a mock-up.
很厉害吧 -超级厉害
It's pretty nifty, right? -The niftiest.
看着就很招人喜欢
Looks like a real charmer.
瞧瞧
Well, well, well.
会不会又是一个问题孩子
If it isn't another problem child.
你想搞些恶作剧和骚乱是不是
You're looking for a little mischief and mayhem, aren't you?
也许我能帮上忙
Well, maybe I can be of some assistance.
你看我是钥匙保管人
I'm the Key-Keeper, you see.
这座恐怖校舍的午夜管♥理♥员♥
The midnight custodian of this schoolhouse of horrors.
跟我来我们用个超级恐怖的故事唤醒死人如何
Come along and let's wake the dead with a real spine-twister, shall we?
我把这个丑恶的小故事叫做《专注于比赛》
I call this sordid little tale "Keep Your Head in the Game."
《专注于比赛》
每支球队都有一个小矮子笨手笨脚的弱鸡
Every team has one. The runt, the klutz, the pipsqueak.
斗牛犬队篮球队的那个小矮子是道尔顿多利
On the Bulldogs basketball team, that half-pint was Dilton Doiley,
他个子矮小近视而且动作不协调
who was short, near-sighted, and uncoordinated.
在一次特别艰苦的训练结束时
At the end of one particularly grueling practice,
克利茨教练让球队排好队练习罚球
Coach Kleats had the team line up for free throws.
必须所有人都投进后大家才能离开
No one could leave until everyone had made a basket.
但道尔顿怎么都投不进自己的救命一球
But Dilton couldn't make a shot to save his life.
拜托多利专注于比赛
Come on, Doiley, get your head in the game.
也许你需要一点动力
Maybe you need a little motivation.
克利茨教练让其他球员开始跑圈
Coach Kleats had the other players start running laps
道尔顿投进一个球后才能停下来
until Dilton sunk one lousy bucket.
你死定了多利
You're a dead man, Doiley.
可怜的道尔顿
Poor Dilton.
他很快就会知道犯规一词的真正含义
He would soon learn the true meaning of the term "foul play."
你到底有什么毛病多利
What the hell is wrong with you, Doiley?
对不起伙计们
I...I'm sorry, fellas.
我尽力了
I'm trying my best.
如果你连一个球都投不进那你来这里干什么
Why are you even here if you can't make one stinking basket?
我只是想成为球队的一分子
I just wanted to be part of a team.
那就去当送水工啊
Then be the damn water boy.
就像克利茨教练说的
Hmm. It's like what Coach Kleats said...
你必须专注于比赛
you gotta get your head in the game.
我该怎么做
How...? How do I do that?
也许在储物柜里呆一晚上能帮你找到答案
Maybe a night stuffed in a locker will help you figure it out.
什么不伙计们求你们了别这样
What? No, guys! Guys! Guys, please! Please, don't do it.
不求你们了你们不明白住手我不能
No, please. Please, please. You don't understand. Stop! I can't...
别把我留在这里 -也许不该这么做
Don't leave me here! -Hey, maybe this isn't such a good idea.
闭嘴安德鲁斯
Stuff it, Andrews
我不能一个人待在这里求你们了
I can't be here alone. Please.
多利需要学习一下 -我不能
Doiley's gotta learn. -I can't...
他必须开始尽自己的本分
He's gonna start pulling his weight...
否则我们会杀了他
or we're gonna murder him.
不别走
No, don't go!
求你们了别走
Please! Please, don't go!
别把我留在这里我做不到不求你们了
Don't leave me here! I can't do this! No! No! Please!
这些残忍♥的运动员不知道的是
What these merciless jocks didn't know
道尔顿多利生来就有严重的幽闭恐惧症
was that Dilton Doiley was born morbidly claustrophobic.
第二天早上
所以当日班人员第二天早上发现并将道尔顿
So by the time the day shift found
从他那发霉的棺材中释放出来时
and released Dilton the next morning,
道尔顿已经完全精神崩溃了
Dilton had suffered a complete psychotic break.
他完全变了个人
He was a changed man.
你可以说是个疯子
A mad man, you might say.
一心要向斗牛犬队复仇
Hell-bent on revenge against the Bulldogs.
然后就是等待他的队友们在那天下午晚些时候
Then it was just a matter of lying in wait for his teammates to reconvene
重新集♥合♥进行篮球训练
for basketball practice later that afternoon.
幸运的是道尔顿有个可从中跳出来
Luckily, Dilton had the perfect hidey-hole from which to pop out
给队友带来惊喜的完美藏身地
and surprise his teammates.
在这之后道尔顿就可以全神贯注完善他的罚球技巧
After which, Dilton could dedicate himself to perfecting his free-throw technique.
第二天
我得专注于比赛