极品老妈

Mom S03E08

Part 2 Jan. 4, 2020, 9:29 a.m.

好吧我超级想问
Okay, okay, okay. I am dying to ask.
巴克斯特和棉签是怎么回事啊
What is the deal with Baxter and Q-tips?
不他还是放在水槽上吗
Oh, no. Is he still leaving them on the sink?
水槽浴缸床头柜
The sink, the bathtub, the nightstand.
那天我在冰箱里发现了一根
The other day, I found one in the refrigerator.
这事你得由着他
Yeah, you got to go easy on him with that.
他清理耳朵后
When he cleans his ears,
像是进入了恍惚状态
it's like he goes into a trance state.
他都不知道自己在这样做
He doesn't even know he's doing it.
记得我们带他去急诊室取出棉签的事吗
Remember when we took him to the emergency room to get one out?
天啊棉签卡在他耳朵里了吗
Oh, God. A Q-tip got stuck in his ear?
我们在吃午餐
You know what, we're having lunch.
就说是耳朵吧
Yeah, let's say ear.
你必须得喜欢他啊
Oh, well, you got to love him.
不是你得喜欢他我已经爱过了
Oh, no, you got to love him. I did my time.
这真是太好玩了
Oh. This is so much fun.
我知道如果我们努力
See, I knew if we made the effort,
就能处得来
we could get along.
绝对的这里有水疗吧
Absolutely. There's a spa here, right?
-最棒的 -我们绝对处得来
- Oh, one of the best. - Oh, yeah, we're getting along.
瞧瞧谁来了
Well, look who's here.
-爸爸 -小傻瓜
- Oh, hi, Daddy. - Hey, Snickerdoodle.
这些是我的朋友克丽丝蒂和邦妮
Uh, these are my friends, Christy and Bonnie.
-很高兴认识你 -我也是
- Ah, nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you.
-弗雷德·海耶斯 -你好我是克丽丝蒂
- Fred Hayes. - Hi. Christy.
你们怎么认识对方的
So how do you girls know each other?
克丽丝蒂是巴克斯特的前妻
Well, Christy actually used to be married to Baxter.
真的吗
Really?
你们是朋友吗
And you're friends?
我跟你一样惊讶
I'm as surprised as you are.
这位可爱的女士呢
And how about this lovely lady?
你也跟巴克斯特睡过吗
Have you also slept with Baxter?
我是她妈妈太恶心了
I'm her mother, and ew.
你的前任是我最受欢迎的员工之一
You know, your ex is one of my most popular employees.
我并不惊讶
Mm. I'm not surprised.
他是个很棒的人
He's a terrific guy.
还有他卖♥♥的大♥麻♥是上等货
That and he sells killer weed.
爸爸
Daddy.
别生气他还给我亲友价呢
Oh, lighten up. He gives me a family discount.
什么我就没有亲友价
What? I never got a discount.
也许是因为在我们的婚礼上
Maybe that's because, at our wedding,
你向人们介绍他说是我的"第一任丈夫"
you introduced him to people as my "First husband."
我喜欢坎迪斯的新朋友们
You know, I'm liking Candace's new friends.
特别是你
Especially you.
谢谢你
Oh. Thank you, I guess.
爸爸
So, Daddy...
你不是要去打高尔夫吗
...aren't you gonna go play golf?
不我的时间充裕
No, I've got plenty of time.
克丽丝蒂你打吗
So, Christy, do you play?
除非有风车
Only if there's a windmill.
没那个
Don't have any of those.
但是十号♥洞有个瀑布
But we do have a waterfall on the tenth hole.
你想去看看吗
Would you like to see it?
我没涂防晒霜
Um, I'm not wearing any sunblock.
等等我有
Hang on. I've got some.
不妈妈不用了
No, no, Mom, I'm fine.
闭眼
Close your eyes.
走吧
Off you go.
我明白你点了岩浆蛋糕
I understand you ordering lava cake.
我不懂你怎么弄到屁♥股♥上了
I don't understand how you got it on your ass.
是岩浆
It's lava.
看来我们没法送回商店了
Well, I don't see how we can take it back to the store.
希望你有计划付清这笔钱
I hope you have a plan to pay for it.
我有你要嫁给坎迪斯的爸爸
I do. You're gonna marry Candace's dad.
天啊你能别说了吗
God, will you stop it with that?!
他只是带我去看了看高尔夫球场
He just showed me around the golf course.
还在专卖♥♥店里给你买♥♥了根杆
Yeah, and bought you a putter in the pro shop.
对老白人来说这就跟定情戒指一样了
For old white guys, this is as good as a promise ring.
他买♥♥这个只是因为我跟他说
He only bought it because I told him
我一直想学打高尔夫球
I always wanted to learn to play golf,
那是假的
which isn't even true.
你们是从一个谎言开始的
So you started on a lie.
所有良缘都是这样开始的
All the best relationships start that way.
最后说一次我不跟坎迪斯的爸爸约会
For the last time, I am not going out with Candace's father.
这条裙子价值1200元
This dress cost $1,200.
你要的
Yeah, you are.
给克丽丝蒂·普兰科特的
Delivery for Christy Plunkett.
发生了发生了发生了
It's happening! It's happening! It's happening!
看卡片看卡片看卡片
Read the card. Read the card. Read the card.
你能冷静下来吗
Would you please calm down?
他想跟我吃晚餐
He wants to have dinner with me.
谢谢你耶稣
Thank you, Jesus!
我不要去
I'm not having dinner with him.
不要吗
We're not?
妈妈他是坎迪斯特的父亲
Mom, he's Candace's father.
他要成为巴克斯特的岳父
He's gonna be Baxter's father-in-law
罗斯科的继外公
and Roscoe's step-grandfather.
他有五家汽车经销店
And he's got five car dealerships,
满头的头发往下望时能看见皮带
a full head of hair and when he looks down he can see his belt.
无所谓
Doesn't matter.
我终于开始跟坎迪斯处好关系了
I'm finally starting to get along with Candace,
不管我喜不喜欢她是我儿子生活的一部分
and she is, like it or not, a part of my son's life.
你干什么
What are you doing?
我给弗雷德打电♥话♥ 告诉他我不去
I'm calling Fred to tell him I'm not gonna go out with him.
不行
No, you're not.
-把电♥话♥给我 -听我说
- Give me the phone. - Hear me out.
我没必要听你说
I don't need to hear you out.
-给我 -我懂罗斯科的事
- Gimme. - Yes, I get the Roscoe thing,
但你也该拥有幸福
but you deserve to be happy too.
好好想想吧
Now, think about it.
你快40岁了
You're pushing 40.
有多少开高尔夫球车的阔佬会看上你啊
Yeah. How many rich guys in golf carts are coming your way?
-算了 -如果你拒绝了他
- Oh, screw it. - If you turn that man down,
我发誓我会跟你脱离关系
I swear I will disown you.
不失去这一切吗
Oh, no. And lose all this?
那就是我的重点
That's my point.
谢谢
Thank you.
-他又送来了一根吗 -是啊
- He sent another one? - Yup.
是60度的障碍球棒
It's a 60-degree sand wedge.
我觉得能帮你逃离
I think it helps you get out of those little
伪装的海滩
pretend beaches they have there.
有多少根啊
How many is that?
看起来是一整套
Looks like a whole set.
他不肯接受否定的答复
This guy won't take no for an answer.
那我们刮掉腿毛然后答应怎么样
So how about we shave those legs and say yes.
不可能
Not gonna happen.
那肯定是球你想赌什么
What do you want to bet that's balls?
你用得上[蛋蛋]
Which you could use.
好啊邦妮
Hello, Bonnie.
好啊小傻瓜怎么了
Hey, Snickerdoodle, what's up?
我们好像有点情况
We seem to have a bit of a situation.
罗斯科没事吧
Is Roscoe okay?
他没事
Oh, he's fine.
克丽丝蒂我们能私下聊聊吗
Christy, can we speak privately?
不行怎么了
No. What's going on?
我不知道你想耍什么把戏
I don't know what your game is,
但我想要你离我爸爸远点
but I want you to stay away from my father.
我没有把戏
I don't have a game.
如果她上几堂课就有了
But she could if she took some lessons.
我知道你嫉妒我
I know you're jealous of me.