极品老妈

Mom S03E03

Part 2 Jan. 4, 2020, 9:28 a.m.

我不是
I was not.
是啊她都修不好盲人的加热器
Yeah, she can't even fix a blind man's heater.
不是不能是不愿意
Not can't, won't.
重点是你做着工作自然就知道该怎么做了
The point is, you learn how to do a job by doing the job.
没错多伪装就可以成真
Exactly. Fake it till you make it.
好吧当他们问我做了什么
Okay, so when they ask me what I've been up to,
我该说
I should say, um...
自从我高中辍学后
after I quit high school...
是自从你高中毕业后
After you graduated high school.
自从我高中毕业后我加入了摇滚乐队
After I graduated high school, I joined a rock band...
和平部队
The peace corps.
和平部队然后
The peace corps, and...
他们是做什么的
What do they do?
你帮忙给非洲的穷♥人♥送清洁饮水
You helped bring clean water to poor people in Africa.
你因此培养了对端咖啡的热爱
Which is where you got your love for serving coffee.
或者串热狗
Or putting hot dogs on a stick.
或者YouTube上成名
Or getting famous on YouTube.
好吧我们重新开始
Okay, let's start over.
有谁认识一名好的机械工
Does anyone know a good mechanic
因为感兴趣而修我的车吗
who fixes cars just for the love of it?
这次你的车怎么了
What's wrong with your car this time?
我觉得它讨厌我
I think it just hates me.
它都不叫我系上安全带了
It doesn't even tell me to put my seat belt on anymore.
这倒提醒了我你们谁有好的调琴师吗
Ooh, that reminds me, do any of you have a good piano tuner?
克丽丝蒂谁给我们的斯坦威钢琴调音的
Christy, who does our Steinway?
你本可以直接说没有的
You could've just said no.
你本可以看看你在和谁说话的
You could've looked around at who you're talking to.
富人的问题
Hey, rich people's problems
和穷♥人♥一样正当
are just as valid as poor people's problems.
我们杀了她吃掉她然后偷走她的车怎么样
What do you say we kill her, eat her and steal her car?
抱歉我迟到了
Hey, sorry I'm late.
现在猜猜我为何迟到了
Okay, now guess why I'm late.
你想保持连胜纪录吗
You wanted to keep your streak alive?
不我找到工作了
No, I got a job.
我是咖啡师了
I'm a barista.
-真了不起 -真棒
- Oh, that's fantastic. - Way to go.
-棒极了 -真好
- Fantastic. - u202dThat's great.
我得跟你们说你们给我的关于
Oh, and I got to tell you, the advice you gave me
在申请表上撒谎的建议太对了
about lying on the application was dead on.
怎么回事
What's this now?
别担心没事的
Oh, don't worry, we got it.
她睡在我家沙发上也要遵守我们的规矩
She sleeps on our couch, she plays by our rules.
你什么时候开始
When do you start?
明天我拿到了制♥服♥和胸牌只要我用
Tomorrow. I get a uniform and a name tag, and I get to drink
同一个杯子我想喝多少咖啡都行
all the coffee I want, as long as I use the same cup.
-乔迪我真为你骄傲 -是啊
- Oh Jodi, I'm so proud of you. - Yeah,
干杯敬成为了一个有用纳税的公民
A toast, to becoming a productive, tax-paying citizen.
邦妮说我没必要纳税
Oh, Bonnie said I didn't have to pay taxes.
妈生气的盲人九点方向
Mom, angry blind man, nine o'clock.
天啊
Oh, dear god!
你干什么他看不见你
What are you doing? He can't see you.
那他看什么呢
Then what's he looking at?
好了我们得找别的地方住
All right, that's it, we got to find a new place to live.
或者你可以修好他的加热器
Or you could fix his heater.
你什么时候开始卖♥♥卵子的
So when exactly did you start selling your eggs?
他们开始有偿收卵子时
The day they started paying for them.
天啊妈
Oh, god, mom.
提醒一下别跟长得像我的男人做♥爱♥
Just a heads-up, don't have sex with any guys who look like me.
没问题
Not a problem.
瞧瞧在咖啡杯上
Check it out-- after two weeks
写了两周人们的名字后我拿到工资了
of writing people's names on coffee cups, I got paid.
-真棒 -恭喜
- Hey, way to go. - u202dCongratulations.
你们知道这是我第一次
Do you realize that this is the first time
赚的合法钱吗
I've made money that I can't get arrested for?
真棒乔迪
That's great, Jodi.
记得你第一次赚的合法钱吗
Remember your first honest buck?
记得是卖♥♥卵的钱
Yeah, it was the eggs.
你知道你要拿这笔钱做什么吗
Okay, you know what you're gonna do with this money?
知道接紫色的头发
Yeah-- purple hair extensions.
不你要拿出一百块
No. You're gonna take $100 out of here
寄给你姐姐
and send it to your sister.
什么不行这是我的钱我赚来的
What? No, this is my money, I earned it.
是啊你从你姐姐那里偷来的钱也是她赚的
Yeah. And your sister earned the money you stole from her.
好吧但我给她这笔钱
Okay, but wouldn't me giving her this money
不会像是买♥♥她的爱吗
just be me trying to buy her love?
她真厉害
Oh, she's good.
不这是你向你姐姐赔礼道歉
No, it would be you making amends to your sister
每周一百块直到付清
a hundred bucks a week, every week, until it's paid off.
别想了不可能
Forget it, no way.
我觉得我们该收她的房♥租了
I think it's time we started charging her rent.
我会寄的
Okay, okay, I'll do it.
这样好多了
That's better.
真奇怪
It's weird,
我们很擅长跟不是自家的孩子打交道
we're very good with kids when we're not related to them.
她可能是我孩子我卖♥♥了许多卵子
We might be. I sold a lot of eggs.
三个月后
我不知道也许这是个糟糕的主意
I don't know, maybe this is a bad idea.
我两年没见过她了
I haven't seen her in two years,
我们一直是很不同的人
and we were always very different people.
别紧张如果你姐姐没准备好
Relax. Your sister wouldn't have invited you
给你第二次机会她是不会邀请你来
To come live with her if she wasn't ready
跟她住一起的
to give you a second chance.
或者第八次第九次机会
Or eighth or ninth chance.
你说得对
You're right.
我可以的
I can do this.
别复吸帮帮她做点家务事
Just stay sober and help her out around the house.
有空洗洗碗
Maybe wash the dishes once in awhile.
别吃她碗里的东西
And don't take food off her plate.
也别拿她钱包里的钱
Or money from her purse.
知道了
Got it.
我想谢谢你们为我做的一切
Listen, I just wanted to thank you for everything.
乐意效劳
It's our pleasure.
偶尔
Occasionally.
如果没有你们我真不知道我会在哪里
I don't know where I'd be without you guys.
我是说你们真的救了我的命
I mean, you literally saved my life.
我爱你们
I love you.
我们也爱你
We love you, too.
该死
Oh, damn.
我的眼泪都掉在你的紫色假发上了
I'm crying all over your fake purple hair.
去吧
Let's move this along.
有什么能帮忙的吗
Can I help you?
她们真的很不同啊
They really are different.
我找特蕾莎·哈伯德
I'm looking for Theresa Hubbard.
她住5G 这是4G
She's in 5-G. This is 4-G.
抱歉打扰了
Oh. Sorry to bother you.
天啊我们得再道别一次了
Oh, god, we're gonna have to say good-bye all over again.
她真的说了我们救了她的命
She literally said that we literally saved her life.
因为我们真的这样做了
That's because we literally did.
-我现在心情超好 -我也是
- I feel so good right now. - u202dMe, too.
甘地做了他做了的事时
This is how Gandhi must have felt when he did
也肯定是这种感觉
whatever it was that he did.
我觉得可以说帮助乔迪
I think it's safe to say that helping Jodi
弥补了我做过的一切坏事
makes up for every bad thing I've ever done.
是啊就算你让一个盲人
Yeah. So what if you made a blind man
三个月没法用加热器那又如何
go three months without heat?
-你救了一条命 -没错
- You saved a life. - Damn right.
-我不想失去这种感觉 -我也是
- I never want to lose this feeling. - Neither do I.
-我还想要更多 -更多总是更好的
- I want more. - More is always better.
你知道我们需要什么吗啊
You know what we need?
-更多吗 -对
- More? u202d- Yes.
我知道怎么获得