极品老妈

Mom S03E05

Part 3 Jan. 4, 2020, 9:29 a.m.

That's what I told her.
虽然如此但这依然是不错的建议
Well, despite that, it's good advice.
你知道罗斯科是不会在你俩之间选择坎迪斯的
And you know Roscoe is never gonna choose Candace over you.
不一定
Not necessarily.
比起我妈我更爱我爸的第二任妻子
I liked my father's second wife way more than my mom.
当然我们穿同一♥码♥ 她还给我买♥♥伏特加
Of course, we wore the same size and she bought me vodka.
总之你宁愿让你儿子有可怕的继母
Bottom line, would you rather your son had a horrible stepmother,
让他过得很糟糕吗
who made his life miserable?
有多糟糕呢
How miserable are we talking?
罗斯特的老师给了你正面反馈
You got a positive report from Roscoe's teacher,
而且你不想要的男人要结婚了
and a man you no longer want is getting married.
你也许该停下来想想
You might want to stop and think about
这一切为什么让你这么烦
why this bothers you so much.
她在跟史蒂夫约会
She's dating Steve.
真棒
Nicely done.
邦妮这是个好主意吗
Bonnie, is that a good idea?
我没跟他约会啦是跟他玩
I am not dating him as much as playing with him.
像是在猫咪头上吊一根纱线
Like when you hold a piece of yarn over a cat's head
让它们旋转结果摔倒了
and you get 'em spinning around and they fall over.
首先你再也不许接近我的猫了
First of all, you're never coming near my cats again.
其次史蒂夫现在很脆弱
And secondly, Steve is very fragile right now,
你在跟他玩危险游戏
and you're playing a very dangerous game with him.
今天是周三你不是要去来一发吗
It's Wednesday, don't you have some intercourse to do?
如果我请求要单独监护权
So... What could happen
会发生什么事呢
if I sued for sole custody?
那可不好办
Well, it won't be pretty.
听起来你的前任娶了个富家女
It sounds like your ex is marrying into some big money,
他们可以一直拖延
so they can drag it out forever.
我想我需要一个好律师了
I guess I'll need a good lawyer.
你的前任也是
So will your ex.
能把我的名片给他吗
Will you give him my card?
说到监护权之争
Hey, uh, speaking of custody battles,
你妈妈去过卡波吗
has your mom ever been to Cabo?
去过
She has.
但她被禁止回去了
But she's not allowed back.
太有邦妮的范儿了
That is so Bonnie.
听起来你有些坠入爱河了
Sounds like you're a little smitten.
不止如此
Oh, I'm way past smitten.
我入迷了
I'm "Smoten."
为她神魂颠倒
"Smooten"? "Smahten"?
我真的很喜欢她
I just really like her.
你们就吃过一顿午餐
You had one lunch.
我知道很疯狂
I know, it's crazy.
我一直觉得
I just can't help
我俩之间有特别的感情
but feel like there's something special between us.
我懂的
I... I get that.
帮自己一个忙慢慢来
Just do yourself a favor and go slow.
你说得对
You're right...
你说得对
You're right.
如果我们结婚了我就是你继父了
You know, if we got married, I'd be your stepdad.
慢点
Slower.
花点时间了解对方
Take time to get to know each other.
天啊我不知道这可能毁了这一切
Gee, I don't know, that might ruin it.
甜蜜的家啊
Ah, home, sweet home.
抱歉我在跟史蒂夫发短♥信♥
Sorry, I'm, uh, texting something to Steve
刺♥激♥他的胃口
to whet his appetite.
他会弄湿一切的
He is going to wet everything.
我弄不好这傻东西
I can't work this stupid thing.
你介意帮帮我吗
Do you mind?
我介意
Yes, I mind.
我才不要拍我妈的性感照
I am not taking dirty pictures of my mother.
你宁愿让陌生人拍吗
Would you rather a stranger do it?
好吧
Fine.
你对史蒂夫有什么最终目的
So what's your endgame with Steve?
只是调情啦找点乐子
Just flirting, having fun.
-真的吗 -恢复到我的最佳状态
- Really? - Yeah, get my groove back
直到我找到喜欢的人做好准备
till I find somebody I like and I'm ready.
好计划
Great plan.
不过史蒂夫想着结婚了
Except Steve's thinking marriage.
跟我吗
To me?
恐怕是的
'fraid so.
他怎么想到这个的
How the hell does he get to that?
我不知道也许是羊排午餐
I don't know, maybe a lamb chop lunch
和六英尺的热裤吧
with six feet of daisy duke.
糟糕
Ah, crap.
是啊
Yeah.
我想现在的问题是
So I guess the question now is--
你想跟他谈恋爱吗
Do you want to be in a relationship with him?
我感觉我该假装这问题很难回答
Hmm, I feel like I should pretend that's hard to answer.
你为什么不帮大家一个忙
Why don't you do everybody a favor?
跟他坐下告诉他他搞错了
Sit down with him, tell him he got the wrong idea
你只是想跟他做朋友
and that you just want to be friends.
我想是吧
Yeah, I guess.
我该删掉这些吗
So I should delete these?
是的
Yeah.
等等
Oh, wait...
把这张发给温蒂
Send this one to Wendy.
看看效果
Let's see what happens.
在你♥爸♥来之前
Hey, before your dad gets here,
我们能谈谈吗
can we talk for a minute?
行啊
Sure.
你能关掉游戏吗
Can you turn off the game?
我可以边说边玩
I can talk and play.
好吧我跟你老师谈过了
Okay, um, so I talked to your teacher,
她跟我说了你有多棒
And she told me how great you're doing,
我只是想告诉你我为你感到骄傲
and I just want to tell you I'm really proud of you.
谢谢
Thanks.
抱歉我没能经常陪着你
And I'm sorry I'm not around more,
去你班上当志愿者
you know, to volunteer in your class and...
做戏服
make costumes.
我只是想为我们创造更好的生活
I'm just trying to make a better life for us.
我知道
I know.
这并不意味着我不爱你
That doesn't mean I don't love you
或者你不在时我没有疯狂地想念你
and miss you like crazy when you're not here.
小心僵尸
Look out for the zombie.
我搞定了
Got him.
真是超暴♥力♥
Whoa, that is disturbingly violent.
总之不会一直这样的
Anyway, it's not always gonna be like this.
以后我们会共度更多时光
At some point, you and I will be able to spend more time together.
好
Cool.
嗯好
Yeah, cool.
你暂时对现状满意吧
So for now you're okay with the way things are?
是的
Yeah, sure.
你喜欢坎迪斯吗
You like Candace?
喜欢你不喜欢吗
Yeah, don't you?
又一只僵尸
Um... Another zombie.
它又死了
He's dead. Again.
你玩得真好
Boy, you are really good at this game.
嗯你没回答我的问题
Yeah, so you didn't answer my question.
你喜欢坎迪斯吗
Do you like Candace?
这么说吧你喜欢我就喜欢
Well, let's just say if you do, I do.
我很烦她一件事
There is one thing about her that kind of makes me mad.
真的吗告诉我
Really? Tell me.
她不让我玩这游戏
She doesn't let me play this game.
她说对我不好
She says it's not good for me.
知道吗
Well, you know what?
你在这个家里时
When you're in this house,
可以尽管砍掉所有僵尸的头
you can decapitate all the zombies you want.
谢谢
Thanks.
我们现在能不说话了吗
Can we stop talking now?
好