燃情克利夫兰

Hot in Cleveland S04E24

Part 2 May 5, 2020, 8:57 a.m.

有摄影师啊
Oh, there's a photographer.
我让英版《人物》那家伙扮成牧师了
No, I arranged for the guy from UK People to be ordained.
由他来做司仪
He's performing our ceremony.
那他怎么拍照
How's he taking the pictures?
镜头在中间
So the lens is in the center,
两边可以调节焦距
and then I control the zoom on either side.
-真是太有才了 -是啊
- That's ingenious! - Yeah!
80年代麦当娜拿这砸我
Madonna threw it at me in the '80s,
我就把它改装成了相机
and I turned it into a camera.
舌尖上的牙齿和嘴唇
Tip of the tongue, the teeth, the lips.
全世界都站在你这边全世界都站在你这边
Nationwide is on your side. Nationwide is on your side.
你说什么呢
Why are you saying that?
这是我的幸运口号♥
It's my good luck vocal exercise.
我过去六个婚礼上都用过
I've done it before all six of my weddings.
我相信这一切一定会无比美妙的
I just know it's gonna be magical.
好了女士们两手分开举过头顶
All right, ladies. Arms up and spread 'em.
钛合金的股骨头
Titanium hip.
内衣钢圈
Underwire bra.
吊袜酒瓶坎特一号♥伏特加
Garter flask. Ketel one.
我不得不承认梅兰妮说得对
I have to admit, Melanie's right.
不论在什么样的条件下
No matter what the circumstances,
爱情总是值得庆祝的
it's always wonderful to celebrate love.
该死的
Bloody hell.
怎么了
What?
那个神父那是西蒙我孩子的爸爸
That priest. That's Simon, my baby daddy.
一个神父
A priest?
乔伊是不是什么人都被你睡过
Joy, is there no one you won't sleep with?
我勒个去
Holy crap!
乔依·斯克罗格
Joy Scroggs?
是你吗
Is that you?
你们俩认识吗
Do you two know each other?
当然认识
We certainly do.
就是这个男人让我
This is the man who got me pregnant
还是个小姑娘的时候就怀孕了
when I was a teenager
然后就消失得无影无踪
and then disappeared without a trace.
乔伊当时我
Joy! I was...
我们不能毁了维多利亚的婚礼
We are not going to ruin Victoria's wedding.
我必须告诉你
I have to tell you...
你到底怎么来这儿的
How did you even get here?
你是要我实话实说...
You gonna let me answer...
嗨亲爱的
Hello, darling.
维多利亚
Victoria.
你真是美呆了
You look ravishing.
请婚礼嘉宾们在这儿站好队
Well, if I could ask the wedding party to line up
然后微笑
over here then, please, and smile.
别忘了如果你不看着十字架
And remember, if you can't see the cross,
那十字架就拍不到你啦
the cross can't see you.
"爱要有耐心爱要包容"
"Love is patient, love is kind."
扯淡
Yeah, right.
"爱情里没有争吵也不会令人生厌"
"Love doesn't take offense and is never resentful."
谁写的这些破烂
Who wrote this crap?
乔伊
Joy,
也许该找个高兴点的人来读
maybe somebody less bitter should read it.
"请记住以下三点信念希望爱"
"And now these three remain... faith, hope, and love."
我喜欢爱
Oh, I love love.
我喜欢信念
I love faith.
还有希望我的中名就是希望
And Hope. That's my middle name.
是真的梅兰妮·霍普·莫雷蒂
It really is. Melanie Hope Moretti.
她是智障吧
Is she special needs?
不如我们直接来宣誓吧
How about we just go to the vows?
维多利亚我爱你
Victoria, I love you.
我爱你智慧的光芒你慷慨的精神
I love your sparkling wit, your generous spirit,
还有你笑的时候发出的可爱鼾声
and the adorable way you snort when you laugh.
但最重要的我爱你的眼睛
But most of all, I love your eyes.
当我看着你的双眼就有家的温暖
When I look in your eyes, I am home.
我亲爱的埃米特
My darling Emmet...
最开始的时候你向我证明了灵魂伴侣的存在
you first amazed me by proving that soul mates really do exist.
而现在即使是在这牢房♥里
And now I'm amazed that, even in this prison cell,
我也觉得这是我一生中最棒的一天
this is the most spectacular day of my life.
我爱你埃米特·劳森
I love you, Emmet Lawson.
好了根据生活教会网站
Okay, by the power vested in me
赋予我的权力
by the omniversallifechurch.Org,
我宣布你们正式成为夫妻
I pronounce you man and wife.
你可以亲吻新娘了
You may kiss the bride.
过敏而已
Just allergies.
爱尔卡我得和乔伊谈谈
Elka, I need to talk to Joy.
她在吗
Is she here?
不知道她想不想和你谈
Not sure she wants to talk to you.
是的鉴于我们的过去我能理解
Yes, well, given our history, I can understand that,
但是我得再跟她见一面
but I have to see her one more time.
你确定要见吗
Are you sure about this?
之前好不容易才彻底脱身了
You got away clean once before.
我不知道自己准备好见他了没
I don't know if I'm ready to see him yet.
我是说我想去
I mean, I want to,
但我得做好心理准备
but I have to be mentally prepared.
他婚姻幸福吗
Is he happily married?
他会不会拿出可爱孩子的照片跟我显摆
Is he gonna whip out pictures of his beautiful children?
还是他一直过着隐居生活
Or has he been living like a hermit,
因为我是他的真爱而嫌弃所有女人
forsaking all women because I was his one true love?
好吧我觉得你用不着
Yeah, I don't think you'll
为那个做什么心理准备
have to prepare for that one.
乔依我不希望你错过这次机会
Joy, I don't want you to miss this opportunity.
你想知道什么我去跟他谈谈
I'll go talk to him and find out what you wanna know.
不行你会对他说的一切抱有乐观态度
No, you'll just "On the plus side" Everything he says.
我需要能告诉我残酷现实的人
I need someone who's gonna tell me the hard truth,
即使会伤得我体无完肤
even if it hurts and tears me apart.
这个我擅长
I'll do it.
不我从没结过婚
No, I never married.
真的吗像你这样英俊的男士
Really? A handsome guy like yourself?
你是在跟我调情吗
Are you flirting with me?
我撩起过一两条苏格兰裙
I've looked up a kilt or two.
我相信你撩过你这只性感小野猫
I'll bet you have, you saucy minx.
那你为什么从没给乔依打过电♥话♥
So how come you never called Joy?
我从没忘记她
I never forgot about her.
听着我知道已经过去很久了
Look, I know a lot of time has gone by,
但你能不能告诉她我还是当年那个
but can you tell her that I'm still the same guy
在多尔切斯特街的俱乐部里
in that club on Dorchester Street
邀请穿黄裙子的美丽女孩
that asked a beautiful girl in a yellow dress
跳一曲布隆迪的《玻璃精灵》的男人
to dance to Blondie's Heart of Glass?
共舞一曲布隆迪的《玻璃精灵》
To dance to Blondie's Heart of Glass.
太甜蜜了他记得所有细节
Oh, that's so sweet. He remembered everything.
他啥也没记住
He remembered nothing!
我从没去过那个俱乐部
I've never been in that club,
我穿黄色特别丑
I look terrible in yellow,
而且肯定不是那首歌♥
and that was definitely not the song.
你还等什么去告诉他
Well, what are you waiting for? Go tell him.
没准儿是迪沃乐队的《轮滑女孩》
Maybe it was Whip It by Devo.
软细胞合唱团的《感染之爱》
Tainted Love by Soft Cell.
杜兰杜兰乐队的《狼般饥饿》
Hungry Like the Wolf by Duran Duran.
没问题我91了有的是时间浪费
Sure, I'm 91. I can do this all night.
亲爱的
Darling,
我知道这个夫妻活动房♥跟我们预想的差很多
I know this conjugal trailer is not what we envisioned,
但我向你保证
but I promise you
我一出去就给你一个
an embarrassingly outlandish honeymoon
不怕丢人现眼的异国蜜月
the moment I'm released.
至于现在嘛劳森夫人
In the meantime, Lady Lawson...
春宵一刻值千金
Let's make every minute count.
没错我们抓紧吧
Oh, yes. Let's.
-但别忘了 -我懂的
- But don't forget. - I know.
我有过婚姻经验不许碰头发
I've been married before. Don't touch the hair.