燃情克利夫兰

Hot in Cleveland S04E18

Part 1 May 5, 2020, 8:56 a.m.

《燃情克利夫兰》
Hot in Cleveland is recorded
是在摄影棚观众前现场录制
in front of a live studio audience.
抱歉来晚了说到哪里了
Sorry I'm late. What did I miss?
我们刚在跟郁闷又傲娇的梅兰妮聊
Oh, we were just telling sad, bloated Melanie
阿莱克跟她分手是多么明智
that Alec was right to break up with her.
什么你们怎么能这么说
What? That's a horrible thing to say!
她不得哭死才怪
You're gonna make her cry.
就想让她哭
That's the plan.
和阿莱克分手后我一直哭不出来
I haven't been able to cry since Alec and I broke up,
我感觉这郁闷全都憋在心里了
and I feel like it's all bottled up inside me.
如果能大哭一场也许我就能把他忘了
If I could just get one good cry, maybe I could get over him.
明白了
Got it.
你们有没有提到阿莱克说不定
Has anyone mentioned that he's probably banging
已经搞上一个90后辣妹了
some hot 20-something already?
我当时说的是双胞胎
I said twins.
好吧电影还有十分钟就开始了
Well, the movie's in ten minutes.
大家都说你一看《恋恋笔记本》
Everyone says you can't watch The Diary
-就嚎啕大哭 -是的
- without bursting into tears. - Oh, yes.
《恋恋笔记薄》说的就是那本一看就会
The Diary is the movie The Notebook goes to see
让人伤心的笔记本
when it wants to feel sad.
《恋恋笔记本》英文名Notebook而非Diary
我跟爱尔卡在电影理论课上
After all the artsy-fartsy cinema Elka and I have had
可是把各种装逼文艺片看了个遍
to sit through in our theory of film class,
看看这种简约的片子消遣下也好
we could use a little mindless entertainment.
没有说明的补白没有伦理的困境
No subtitles, no moral ambiguity,
没有死亡的博弈
no chess games with death.
要看就看帅哥靓女赤身裸体
And only good-looking people get naked.
说真的我现在真没心情去看什么电影
You know what, you guys? I'm really not up for a movie.
你们去吧我留下来一醉方休
You go, I'm gonna stay here and finish my wine.
-单我来买♥♥ -亲爱的你确定不去
- I'll pay the check. - Oh, honey, are you sure?
别假惺惺的这只会让我更难受
No, don't try to be nice. It only makes it harder.
那好吧拜拜梅梅你这丑八怪
Well, bye, Mel. Sorry you're so hideous.
讨厌鬼
And unlovable.
独自终老无人陪
Have fun dying alone.
还是哭不出来
Nothing.
波本威士忌加水
Bourbon and branch.
空壳一个
Empty...
就像我的生活
just like my life.
你还好吧
You okay?
抱歉不过这...
I'm sorry. It's just that...
这颗花生没有仁儿
there's no nut in my peanut.
是挺扫兴不过换一盘就好
That's a bummer, but easily remedied.
真是多此一举
Oh, why bother?
我压根儿也没想吃花生
I didn't even want the damn peanut!
我就要阿莱克
I just want Alec.
快别哭了
Hey, don't cry.
不哭出来其实挺好的
No, no, this is really good.
这是我和阿莱克分手后
This is the first time I've been able to cry
头一次能哭出来
since I broke up with my boyfriend.
-阿莱克 -天啊你认识他
- Alec? - Oh, my God, you know him?
不不是你自己说... 无所谓了
No, you... you just... never mind.
既然我在这你想找人倾诉下吗
Look, I'm here, so you want to talk about it?
求之不得但就是随便聊聊
So much. But just talk.
因为我再也不想找男人了
'Cause I never want to be with another man.
再也不想了永远绝不
Never, ever, ever again!
不是吧
Oh, no.
不是吧
Oh, no!
真的不是吧
Oh, no!
你好花生妹
Oh, hey, peanut.
听着我蛮尴尬的但我真的
Listen, I'm really embarrassed, but I don't remember anything
不记得昨晚的事了
about last night,
所以请你务必回答我
so I need you to answer one
一个非常重要的问题
very important question.
这些巧克力糖都是我吃的
Did I eat all these candy bars?
不是我吃的
No, no, no. That was me.
感谢上帝
Oh, thank God.
-我们嘿♥咻♥了吗 -没有
- We have sex? - No.
我是说... 没啥违反法律的行为
I mean... nothing actionable.
你什么意思
What does that mean?
听着你当时很难过还喝多了
Look, you were sad and a little drunk,
我不放心你所以开车送你回家
so I drove you home to make sure you were safe.
然后我把你...
And then I laid you...
放躺在这些床单上它们可真软
down on these sheets, and they are so soft.
这些小可爱是用什么织的
What is the thread count on these babies?
别说床单了
Forget about the sheets.
我们在床单上干了什么
What did we do on the sheets?
别担心
Don't worry,
我们没有交换任何体液
we didn't exchange any fluids.
我就撒了点雪碧在你身上不过
Well, I spilled a little Sprite on you, but...
多数时候我们相拥而睡
mostly we just cuddled,
感觉真不错
which was nice.
真心不错你真不错
It was so nice. You're nice.
好吧谢谢你昨晚送我回家
Yeah, anyway, thank you for taking me home last night,
不过我跟医生约好了...
but I do have a doctor's appointment at...
天哪都快十点了
Oh, my God! It's almost 10:00.
-你能不能 -我十点也有个会面
- So can you... - Oh, I got a meeting at 10:00!
你知道雪松崖路68号♥在哪里吗
Hey, do you have any idea where 68 Cedarcliff Road is?
雪松崖路68号♥ 就是这啊
68 Cedarcliff Road? That's here.
你什么都没看见
You didn't see this.
你也什么都没看见
You didn't see this.
在等人吗
Expecting someone?
是啊能让艾米特免受牢狱之灾的秘密武器
Yes, my secret weapon to get Emmet out of jail.
丹尼·道尔人称"平事者"
Danny Doyle. They call him "The Fixer."
他会在艾米特的案子中贿赂法官
He's gonna bribe the judge in Emmet's case.
-维多利亚 -我知道
- Victoria! - No, I know!
不过艾米特明天就要上法庭了
But Emmet's arraignment is tomorrow,
我这是无奈之举啊
and I'm desperate.
难道你不会尽你所能
Wouldn't you do anything you could
-去拯救你的未婚夫吗 -当然会
- to keep your fiance Out of jail? - Of course.
-艾米特知道这事儿吗 -不
- Does Emmet know about this? - No.
他想光明正大处理这事儿
He wants to do things above board.
不过欧娜·圣瑞雯免于死刑
But did Honor St. Raven get off death row
靠的是光明正大吗才不是
by going above board? No!
她律师都去找巫毒高阶女祭司了
No, her lawyers went to a voodoo high priestess.
这角色让玛丽·卢·瑞顿演太糟烂了
A woefully miscast Mary Lou Retton.
她不是得了艾美奖吗
Didn't she win the Emmy?
维多利亚·蔡斯吗我是丹尼·道尔
Victoria Chase? Danny Doyle.
你好
Hi.
这位是乔依·斯克罗格
This is Joy Scroggs.
有件事我得立马澄清
Let me get one thing straight right off the bat.
我完全遵照法律规则行事
I operate completely within the bounds of the law.
我没装窃听器
I'm not wearing a wire.
很好咱们来贿赂法官吧
Good, let's bribe some judges.
慢着你真像外面传言的那样厉害吗
Wait, are you really as good as they say you are?
约翰·格伦因谋杀罪坐牢了吗
Did John Glenn go to jail for murder?
美国航♥空♥航♥天♥员
-什么谋杀罪 -陈述完毕
- What murder? - I rest my case!
我都没意识到
Oh, I didn't realize
家里来了位完全不认识的陌生人
we had a total stranger in the house.
梅兰妮这位是丹尼·道尔
Melanie, this is Danny Doyle.
他来着帮我处理艾米特的案子
He came here to help me with Emmet's case.
很高兴见到你
I am very pleased to meet you.
是啊我们应该握手
Why, yes, we should shake hands,
因为咱们可真的是头一次见面
since we're meeting for the very first time.
别介意她还没走出分手的阴影
Don't mind her. She's going through a breakup.
是啊年老色衰满脸褶子的梅兰妮
Yes, poor, old, wrinkled Melanie.
好啦大伙你们不用引我哭了
Okay, guys, you can stop.
我昨晚哭过了
I cried last night...
还有几分钟前
and a little bit a few minutes ago.
我这就去把昨天笨手笨脚取出来的
Well, I'll just go get those non-sequential hundreds
不连号♥的百元大钞拿过来
that I so awkwardly got from the bank yesterday.