燃情克利夫兰

Hot in Cleveland S04E09

Part 1 May 5, 2020, 8:55 a.m.

《燃情克利夫兰》是在摄影棚观众前现场录制
Hot in Cleveland is recorded in front of a live studio audience.
-敬你 -也敬你
- To you. - And you.
我本想给你个站着的"O"
I'd give you a standing "O,"
站着的"O"表示outstanding 极好的
但我刚在浴室里已经给过你了[口♥爆♥]
But we already did that in the shower.
艾米特我知道你在里面
Emmet, I know you're in there.
-糟糕 -谁啊
- Oh, no. - Who is it?
她的听力跟蝙蝠一样好
She has bat-like hearing.
我听到啦
I heard that.
艾米特咱们得谈谈
Emmet, we need to talk.
不好意思你是哪根葱
Excuse me, but who are you
胆敢闯进我的保姆车
to barge into my trailer?
我是他老婆你又是哪根葱
I'm his wife. Who the hell are you?
你不可能是他老婆啊
But you can't be his wife.
五年前
Five years ago,
你俩登上《人物》杂♥志♥封面
you two were on the cover of People magazine
中间可是有一道巨大的裂缝呢
with a big tear down the middle.
这都不算离婚什么才算
It doesn't get more divorce than that.
不论从什么角度咱们都算是离婚了
We are divorced, in every sense of the word.
除了法律上
Except...Legally.
什么
What?
我们压根就没在离婚协议上签字
We never got around to signing the papers.
尼基没事你可不会来找我
Nikki, if you're here, you must want something.
没错
I do.
你也知道我一直努力
You know how I've been trying
想上真人秀节目
to get on a reality show?
我刚刚接到《坦帕与圣彼德斯堡
Well, I got a call from the producers
美国佛罗里达州相距不远的两个城市
真实主妇》节目制♥作♥人的电♥话♥
Of True Housewives of Tampa/St. Pete.
我超爱那节目
Oh, I love T.H.O.T.S.P.
那种脑残垃圾节目
I mean, what does that mindless trash
跟我们有什么关系
have to do with us?
他们希望我以艾米特前妻的身份参加节目
They want me on the show as Emmett's ex-wife.
但严格来说你还不算他的前妻
But technically, you're not his ex-wife.
她总这么咬文嚼字吗
Is she always this literal?
肯定烦死了吧
That must get old.
总之我出镜的条件是
Anyway, they'll only cast me
你同意亮相两次
if you agree to do two appearances
外加一通愤怒的来电企图阻止我
and an angry phone call that interrupts me
去帮史黛西处理隆胸失败后的裂痕
helping Stacy through her breast implant explosion.
绝对不行
Absolutely not.
你知道我不会善罢甘休的
You know I'll wear you down.
没离婚那会儿或许我还会有所忌惮
That may have worked when we were married,
现在可不会了
but not any longer.
严格来说你俩其实还没离婚
Technically, you are still married.
天哪她这人还真是纠缠不休啊
Oh, jeez. This one, like a broken record.
真是太震惊了
It's just such a shock.
我跟艾米特说没事心里却拔凉拔凉的
I told Emmett it didn't bother me, but I'm dying inside.
-你应该说出来啊 -那我就要说出理由了
- You should have said that. - Then I'd have to say why.
我很伤心是因为我原以为我俩能有未来
I'm upset because I thought there was a future for us,
以为他也是这么想的
And I thought that he felt the same.
现在看完全不可能啊
Then how could he feel the same
他自己一直都没离婚啊
if he's known all along that he was married?
那就跟他谈啊
Then talk to him.
人们常说维系每段感情的关键
People say that communication is the key
就是沟通
to any relationship.
人们才不这么说就女人这么说
People don't say that. Women say that.
尤其是那些被男人甩了的女人
Lonely women whose boyfriends have left them
就因为她们一刻不停地谈论她们的感情
because they always want to talk about the relationship.
而且现在就谈未免也太早了
Oh, and besides, it's too soon to have that conversation.
我们才认识了几个月而已
We've only known each other a few months.
他说没在离婚协议上签字的原因了吗
Did he say why he hasn't signed the divorce papers?
他说他给忘了拜托
He said it slipped his mind. Please.
谁会忘记在离婚协议上签字啊
Who forgets to sign their divorce papers?
你和乔伊
You and Joy.
你俩不还是加拿大注册在案的假蕾丝伴侣嘛
Aren't you two still fake-gay-Canadian married?
天哪还真说对了
Oh, god, she's right.
等等这样也好
Wait. Maybe this is good.
这样就方便我打开话题了
This way I can bring up the subject
着眼于我和他的共同之处
as something we have in common:
婚姻当中都有一个
the need to rid ourselves
避之不及的可憎女人
of the hideous women we married.
别生气乔伊
No offense, Joy.
我可没时间跟你生气
I don't have time to take offense.
我还有个生物期末考试
I have a biology final to get to,
只有现在这会儿有时间
and I've got just enough time
去找劳埃德医生上最后一节辅♥导♥课
for one last tutoring session with Dr. Lloyd.
那是谁
Who's that?
一个年轻的住院医师我花钱请他
Oh, he's this young resident I've been paying
帮我辅♥导♥学习
to help me study.
没告诉你们是想让你们觉得我
I didn't tell you because I wanted you
冰雪聪明全凭自己
to think I was smart all on my own.
乔伊那你可真是多虑了
Oh, Joy. We would never think that.
是美捷步的送货哥
Oh, it's the Zappos delivery guy.
美国一家被亚马逊收♥购♥的购鞋网站
你是说邮递员吧
You mean the mailman?
我又不知道专业术语到底是什么
I don't know what the technical term is.
放在门廊上就行
Just leave it on the porch.
维多利亚咱搬到克利夫兰
Victoria, one of the reasons
的种种原因之一就是要结交新朋友
we moved to cleveland was to get to know people.
多些互动没啥不好
It's okay to interact.
我是个演员梅兰妮没必要互动
I'm an actor, melanie, not an "Interactor."
你好非常感谢
Hi. Oh, thank you so much.
今天过得怎么样
How are you doing today?
如果你非要知道
If you must know,
今天是我生命中最悲伤的一天
I've never been sadder in my life.
天哪为什么
Oh, dear. Why?
结婚30年的妻子今天弃我而去
My wife of 30 years left me today.
我的心都要碎了
My heart is breaking.
真遗憾
Oh, I'm so sorry.
我们能帮上点什么吗
Well, is there anything we can do?
我们
"We"?
-一杯水就行 -当然可以进来吧
- Maybe a glass of water. - Of course, come on in.
随便坐我去给你倒水
Just have a seat. I'll get your water.
-再加点冰吧 -当然
- A little ice maybe. - Of course.
如果你有柠檬皮的话
And if you have some lemon peel,
弄个像猪尾巴一样的花饰
curlicue like the tail of the pig?
我我不知道该怎么做
Oh, I-I don't know how to do that.
楔形的可以吗
How about a wedge?
最好用花饰
The curlicue is better.
我算知道她老婆为啥抛弃他了
Starting to understand why his wife left him.
得赶紧把他给打发走
You've got to get him out of here.
爱尔卡他可刚被老婆抛弃
Elka, his wife just left him.
帮他走出困境才是善良的人该做的
Helping him out is the nice thing to do,
克利夫兰的人该做的
The Cleveland thing to do.
就算克利夫兰人也是有底线的
Well, even in Cleveland, there's a line.
不像在代顿完全无下限
It's not like Dayton where anything goes.
同为俄亥俄州城市与克利夫兰相距不远
我去给他倒杯水
I'll give him his glass of water,
喝完他就会走的
And then he'll leave.
你的同情心太泛滥了
You're too much of a mush.
交给我吧
I'll handle it.
这是怎么回事
What's going on?
他这周末就住这儿了
He's staying for the weekend.
你的底线哪去了
what happened to the line?
欢迎来到代顿
welcome to dayton.
劳埃德考试被我顺利拿下
Lloyd, I think I aced my test.
有个问题确认下
One question:
核甘酸是在RNA里而不是在DNA里
The nucleotide in RNA but not DNA--
该填"尿嘧啶" 对不
It's uracil, right?
填"尿嘧啶"就对了
It is so uracil.
你是有史以来最好的老师
You are the best tutor ever!