燃情克利夫兰

Hot in Cleveland S04E11

Part 1 May 5, 2020, 8:55 a.m.

《燃情克利夫兰》是在摄影棚观众前现场录制
Hot in Cleveland is recorded in front of a live studio audience.
这儿还不错嘛
Oh, well, this isn't so bad.
有种古旧的魅力
Has a certain rusted charm.
实在又朴素
It's honest and unpretentious.
就一垃圾堆
It's a dump.
跟我印象中当年咱俩
It looks exactly like I remember it
跟双方老公一起来度假时的样子
when you and I used to come here on vacation
一模一样啊
with our husbands.
当时就是一垃圾堆
It was a dump then too.
当时被称作 "松荫小屋"
Back then, it was called "Camp shady pines."
现在是 "松荫水疗静修小屋"
Well, now it's "Camp shady pines spa and ashram."
我一定要穿进阿莱克送我的那条裙子
And I have got to fit in that dress that Alec gave me.
我为什么要说我穿零码
Why did I say I was a size zero?
极瘦码数三围从76-56-81到84-6♥4♥-89厘米
零码
Zero?
"果蔬汁断食法" 三天后
Well, after three days on a juice fast,
我们都会瘦的
we're all gonna lose weight,
这一晚上才120刀
and all for 120 bucks a night.
在洛城没1000刀你想饿都饿不起
In L.A., you can't starve for under a thousand.
格温妮丝·帕特洛说必须经过48小时
Gwyneth Paltrow says you forget about food
奥斯卡影后
才能开始忘记食物
after the first 48 hours,
所以我提前两天就开始断食了
so I did a pre-fast for the last two days.
现在是第49小时
And hour 49?
我能把格温妮丝·帕特洛生吞了
I could eat Gwyneth Paltrow right now.
断食我倒不介意
I don't mind the fasting,
但我们真要做些古里古怪的事吗
but do we have to do all the hippie stuff?
我只是来减几斤肉的
I'm just here to lose a few pounds.
一把年纪了在乎啥
At your age, who cares?
彼此彼此
Right back at ya.
我昨晚根本没法睡
I didn't sleep at all last night.
老是听到熊叫
I kept hearing bears.
抱歉那应该是我的肚子在叫
Oh, I'm sorry, I think that was my stomach growling.
不是是外面垃圾桶里传出来的
No, it was outside going through the trash bins.
我还以为能在那里找到点吃的
I thought I might find a scrap of something.
欢迎探索者们
Welcome, seekers.
在下瑜伽大♥师♥阿难
I'm Yogi Ananda,
非常荣幸能担任你们的教练
and I am honored to be your guide.
现在开始脱掉你们的衣服
Now, to begin, remove your clothing
温柔地抚摸彼此
and gently touch each other.
什么
What?
梅米别啊
Mamie, no, no, no.
你们定的不是浪漫套餐吗
Aren't you here for the romance package?
五个女人啊我们
We're five women.
我们对此没任何偏见
And we are non-judgmental.
瑜珈大♥师♥ 我们定的
Actually, Yogi, we're here
其实是"女性绝食"套餐
for the "Girls gone hungry" Package.
你要知道我们三个
And you should know that the three of us
已经调过脉轮也知道我们的精神代表动物
have had our chakras aligned, know our spirit animals,
还复原过前世了
and have been past-life regressed.
我猜你们来自洛杉矶的吧
Let me guess. You're from L.A.
没人要才跑咱这儿来的
They moved here to get laid.
在克利夫兰我们的方法简单些
In Cleveland, we do things a little simpler.
首先我要告诉大家这是间既安全
Let me begin by saying that this is a safe
又神圣的屋子
and a sacred place.
这原来是间乒乓球室
Used to be the ping-pong room.
即使在最深厚的友谊中
Even in the best of friendships,
也隐藏着秘密怨恨
there are secrets, resentments,
种种不能言说的事情
Things we are afraid to say.
-我们不会 -我们对彼此都推心置腹
- Oh, not us. - We tell each other everything.
我有话说
I have something.
我在学校修了一门课
I have been taking a class at school
我个人对这门课很是着迷
that I'm finding really fascinating,
并且想以后以此为生
and I want to make it my career,
但我不敢提
but I haven't mentioned it
因为我怕被嘲笑
because I'm afraid of being mocked.
在这里我们都要坦诚相见
In this room, we talk from the heart
更要用心聆听
and we listen from the heart.
我主修了犯罪学
I'm majoring in criminology
因为我想当私♥家♥侦♥探♥
because I want to be a private detective.
这表情我可懂
I saw that look.
那是维多利亚说疯话时
That's the look you and I give each other
咱俩对视的表情
when Victoria says something crazy.
什么
What?
你会像《女作家与谋杀案》那样办案吗
You're gonna solve crimes like Murder, She Wrote?
CBS超长古典本格推理美剧
不不是《女作家与谋杀案》
No, not like Murder, She wrote.
真实案件身临其境
Real cases, real situations.
有意思
It's funny.
那女作家走到哪凶杀案就跟到哪
Everywhere Murder, She Wrote went, someone died.
真不知道为什么还有人请她参加派对
I don't know why anyone invited her to parties.
乔伊你得承认
Well, Joy, you have to admit,
听起来的确有点夸张
it does sound a little out there.
是啊是不是有点那什么遭人厌
Yeah, and isn't it a little, I don't know, seedy?
真谢谢你们的不支持
Oh, thanks for your nonsupport.
这是一种奇妙的消极
This is wonderful negativity.
苦水就往外倒吧
Let the poison out.
那既然要坦白
Well, I guess if we're letting things out,
我注意到咱们登记入住时
I noticed when we checked in
你们俩互相将对方设为紧急联♥系♥人
that you two put each other down as your emergency contacts.
为什么不是我
Why not me?
亲爱的你只是不怎么会处理紧急情况而已
Honey, you're just not that great in an emergency.
你什么意思
What do you mean?
我生珍娜那会儿
When I was in labor with Jenna,
在开车带我去医院的路上
and we were driving to the hospital,
你还停车去古奇买♥♥了个包包
you stopped and bought a bag at gucci.
当时打四折呢而你只扩张了五分之一
It was 60% off, and you were only 20% dilated.
最后咱俩不都满心欢喜地回家了
We both brought home bundles of Joy.
轮到你了梅兰妮
It's your turn, Melanie.
你有什么秘密或者怨恨
Is there a secret or resentment
想要说出不吐不快的吗
you wish to release to the universe?
格温妮丝·帕特洛他妈的就是个骗子
Gwyneth Paltrow's a fucking liar.
我是说对于在座的各位
I meant with present company.
没有我对她们毫无怨恨
Oh, no, I have nothing to resent them for.
她们对我坦诚相见
They've always been honest with me,
我对她们也是完全相信
and I trust them completely.
什么那又是什么表情
What? What was that look?
她俩会有这种表情是觉得
That's the look they give each other
如果说出这个秘密你可能承受不了
when they have a secret that you can't handle.
有秘密吗什么秘密
There's a secret? What secret?
很久以前的事了
It was a long time ago.
我没告诉你是因为不想伤害你
I didn't tell you because I didn't wanna hurt you,
而现在提不提都无所谓了
And, now, it doesn't matter anymore.
-那就跟我说啊 -维多利亚记住
- So, tell me then. - Victoria, remember.
你是来加深友谊的
You're here to deepen your friendship,
而友谊是源于坦诚的
and friendship is based on truth.
-跟我说 -好的
- Just tell me. - okay.
是安德斯的事啦那是她前夫
It's about Anders. That was her ex-husband.
你俩还没离婚的时候他就勾引我
He hit on me when you two were still married.
什么
What?
他勾引你而你都不吱一声
He hit on you and you never said anything?
这算哪门子朋友
What kind of friend does that?
像乔依这样的
A friend like joy.
先勾引她来着她不是照样没吱声
He hit on her first and she never said anything.
不说你能死啊维多利亚
Way to sell me out, Victoria.
真不敢相信你俩都没跟我说
I can't believe you two didn't tell me!
老天啊你俩她都勾引过
God, he hit on both of you
而我却被蒙在鼓里
and I didn't even know?
我就这么好糊弄吗
Am I really that blind?
他是那种见到个女人就不放的类型吗
I mean, was he just hitting on anything that moved?
貌似还真是
Sounds like it.
真高兴我俩之间没这种破事