燃情克利夫兰

Hot in Cleveland S04E04

Part 2 May 5, 2020, 8:54 a.m.

打扰一下乔依爱尔卡和我需要帮助
Excuse me, Joy, Elka and I need help
开个瓶子
opening a bottle.
能否赏光借用下你那男人般的大手
May we please borrow your big man hands?
我的天啊这里热得快把人蒸熟了
Good lord, it's 1,000 degrees in here.
更年期到了
Menopause.
能麻烦你帮我看一下
Oh, would you mind looking over
我给"克利夫兰热辣奶奶" 写的广♥告♥词吗
this ad I wrote for Cleveland GILFS?
爱尔卡觉得还不够惹火撩人
Elka doesn't think it's sexy enough.
这要算惹火那姐就是蕾哈娜
If this is sexy, I'm Rihanna.
拜托你别没事乱捅词儿了
There you go making up words again.
有个主意乔依可以帮我们读一下
I know, Joy can read it out loud
我们再决定要不要用
and then we'll decide.
不行她不行
No, not Joy.
英国口音是在性感不起来
British voices are not sexy.
开玩笑吧
Oh, really?
待我去把老花镜拿来
Well, I'll just get my reading glasses
再看看到底谁性感
and we'll see who's sexy.
让爱尔卡把台词拿得远一点
If Elka holds the pages far enough away,
你就用不着老花镜了
you won't need glasses.
好吧
All right.
天啊这里真的热死了
God, it's hot in here.
那就把毛衣脱了呗
Well, take off your sweater.
我拿风扇给你吹吹
And I'll point the fan at you.
你好
Hi there.
还在找寻适龄女子
Are you looking for some inappropriate fun
与你耍个面红心跳吗
with some age-appropriate women?
谢天谢地
Oh, thank God.
-是艾... -别别别
- Is that Al-- - Dat, dat, dat!
是克洛伊发来的
Ah, it's from Chloe.
看来她也没法联♥系♥上阿莱克
Oh, she can't reach Alec, either.
-她给他发了十条短♥信♥ -十条吗
- She's texted him ten times. - Ten times?
真行这个粘人精
Wow. Talk about needy.
她在八卦网站上看到
Oh, and she saw on Perez Hilton
我跟艾米特正打得火热的消息呢
that Emmet and I are having a steamy, on-set affair.
显然大家都看到我们在考虑
Oh, and apparently we're thinking about
从马拉维领养个孩子的消息了
adopting a baby from Malawi.
非洲东南部国家
我们真是乐于奉献
We are such givers.
若你身高一八零或者曾经一八零
So if you're 5'11" or used to be,
就让我们享受海滩上的闲逛
enjoy short walks on the beach
还有那不伤背部的床笫之欢吧
and back-friendly lovemaking,
请联♥系♥"克利夫兰热辣奶奶"
call Cleveland GILFS.
我们专为老同志打造完美性♥爱♥
We put the sex in "Sexagenarian."
看赞到爆
See? Hot.
我错了
I was wrong.
老蠢蛋真是没得救了
I guess there's no fool like an old fool.
谢谢
Thank you.
录没录下来那老蠢蛋刚才那段
So did we get the old fool on tape?
来看看吧
Let's take a look.
若你身高一八零
So if you're 5'11"
或者曾经一八零
or used to be...
快传到网上
Put it on the website.
你知道这样可怜的乔依肯定会被
You realize poor Joy is going to be hit on
这里的怪老头骚扰到死吧
by every geezer in town.
皆大欢喜
Win-Win.
课上得怎么样
How was school?
我看起来多大岁数
How old do I look?
35岁跟我一样怎么了
35. Same as me. Why?
怎么老头不停的给我暗送秋波还挥手致意
All these old men keep leering and waving at me.
还管我叫"番茄"[新鲜多汁]
And calling me a "tomato".
一群怪老头在商场里跟着我饶
They followed me around the mall
跟一大♥波♥动作缓慢的僵尸似的
like a pack of slow-moving zombies.
幸好我还能爬几级楼梯把他们甩了
Luckily, I was able to climb a few stairs and lose them.
我的天太好了
Oh, my God, this is great.
阿莱克刚刚在脸书上更新了
Alec just posted to his Facebook page.
抱歉我没法回信息
"Sorry I'm not returning messages,
正在度假中手♥机♥落在家了
but I'm on vacation and I left my phone at home."
他还没看到我的信息
He hasn't seen my texts.
就不会觉得我是个二百五了
He doesn't think I'm an idiot.
我也不想把话挑明
I hate to bring up the obvious,
但他一回来不就看到了
but he will see them when he gets back.
提前告诉你我是不会帮你
And before you ask, I will not help you
闯进他家好让你删除短♥信♥的
break into his apartment so you can delete your messages.
这个主意太棒了
That is a great idea!
你能想到这个再加上用楼梯甩掉怪老头
You know, between this and the stair trick,
你真是个天才
you're kind of a genius.
想得美想通过几句马屁
Nice try. But you can't trick Joy Scroggs
就让我乔姑娘干傻事是不可能的
into doing something stupid with a little flattery.
乔依你怎么会出现在这个叫什么
Joy, what are you doing in this ad
"克利夫兰热辣奶奶"的广♥告♥里啊
for something called "Cleveland GILFS"?
我的亲妈喂
Oh, dear God!
若你身高一八零或者曾经一八零
So if you're 5'11" or used to be,
就让我们享受海滩上的闲逛
enjoy short walks on the beach
还有那不伤背部的床笫之欢吧
and back-friendly lovemaking...
爱尔卡梅米·苏赶紧给我出来
Elka, Mamie Sue, get out here right now!
说吧我倒要看看你俩准备怎么解释
Well, what do you two have to say for yourselves?
真是抱歉
I'm so sorry.
我们真没料到你会发现
We never meant for you to find out.
又没真让你去跟老头约会
You don't have to date anyone.
你只是个把人吸引来的诱饵罢了
You're just there to get the rubes in the tent.
经典的诱饵替换推销法
It's a classic bait and switch.
刚才我们还在说不选梅兰妮和维多利亚
We were just saying how smart we were to go with you
而选你做广♥告♥真是选对人了呢
instead of Victoria or Melanie.
-这话舒心 -哪儿舒心了
- Well, that's nice. - No, it's not.
各位好啊
Hello, everyone.
该选维多利亚的
We should have gone with Victoria.
穿得这么招摇要干嘛
What are you doing all dolled up?
约会啊
I have a date.
我的假情人要带我去吃真晚餐
My fake lover is taking me to a real dinner.
埃米特·劳森要来这儿
Emmet Lawson is coming here?
维多利亚你真是美艳华贵
Victoria, you look glorious!
梅兰妮还是那么美
And, Melanie, you're a vision.
-这位是乔依 -你好
- Oh, and this is Joy. - Hi.
好莱坞女星《珍珠港》女主角
有没有跟你说过你长得很像凯特·贝金赛尔
Has anyone ever told you you look like Kate Beckinsale?
知己啊
Yes!
这是爱尔卡和梅米·苏
Oh, and this is Elka and Mamie Sue.
幸会[法语]
Enchante.
快说"以主神奥丁之剑为证
Oh, say, "By Odin's sword,
我会让世界因我的力量而颤抖"
I will make the earth tremble with my force."
出自《雷神之战》
From a little film called "Wars of Asgard."
是的
Yes.
"以主神奥丁之剑为证
"By Odin's sword,
我会让世界因我的力量而颤抖"
I will make the earth tremble with my force."
再说"爱情会逝去"
Now say "Love dies..."
"但爱的回声永存"
"...but its echoes never do."
出自《晚祷的赞歌♥》
From the film "A Hymn at Evensong."
我的最爱之一
A favorite.
快说"管他谁在看
Now say, "I don't care who's watching,
我现在就想把你推倒"
I want to take you right now."
这出自哪部电影我不记得了
What film is that from? I don't recall it.
照直说就好
Just say it.
好吧我想我们是时候走了
Okay, I think maybe it's time for us to leave.
其实我有话跟你说
Actually, there's something I need to tell you.
又一条谷歌♥快讯咱俩又干什么了
Oh, another Google alert. What have we done now?
咱们分手了
We've broken up?
很抱歉维多利亚真的
I'm so sorry, Victoria. Truly.
但我经纪人说跟你的绯闻反响不怎么好
But my agent said that you weren't testing very well.
德国超模天桥风云的主持人和评委
现在我和海蒂·克鲁姆是假情侣了
So now I'm having a fake affair with Heidi Klum...
据说她挺不错的
Whom, I'm told, is very nice.
她压根就不在这电影里啊