燃情克利夫兰

Hot in Cleveland S04E14

Part 1 May 5, 2020, 8:56 a.m.

《燃情克利夫兰》是在摄影棚观众前现场录制
Hot in cleveland is recorded in front of a live studio audience.
实在太荣幸了
What a tremendous honor.
我当然会到场
Well, of course I'll be there.
我要宣布一件大事
I have a major announcement.
我的妹妹刚刚告诉我卡诺加瀑布镇
My sister Bess just told me Canoga Falls
要拿我的名字来命名城市广场
is naming the town square after me.
-太棒了 -恭喜
- Wow, that's great. - Congratulations.
卡诺加瀑布镇这是跟人打赌输了吗
Did Canoga Falls lose a bet or something?
不是
No.
是我的家乡在纽约州的北部
It is my hometown in upstate new york.
是个充满田园风光的小村庄
An idyllic little hamlet
那里的孩子们在街上嬉耍
Where the kids play in the street
店铺老板认识每一位顾客
And the grocer calls all the customers by name.
我能去参加庆典吗
Can I come to the ceremony?
必须的
Please.
要不然我那就一个熟脸也见不着了
Otherwise, I won't know a soul there.
我也想去因为阿莱克不在家
I wanna come too. Alec's out of town.
我把他的东西都搜了个遍
And I've already snooped through all his stuff.
包括电脑的浏览历史记录
Gone through the browsing history on all his computers.
发现了他的成人片没什么太变♥态♥内容
Found his porn stash. Nothing freaky.
只是些普通成人片
No, just the normal stuff.
对我来说3P有点重口味
Little heavy on the threesomes for my taste.
然后我全删了所以这周末闲得很
But I deleted it all, so my weekend's free.
一句"阿莱克不在家" 理由就很充分了
We also would've accepted, "Alec's out of town."
你上次回家看你妈妈是什么时候
When was the last time you visited your mother?
我每年都想找机会回去
Oh, I try to visit every year.
但过去12年一直没找到
I've failed for the last 12.
你去吗爱尔卡
Are you coming, elka?
去纽约看场好戏
Go to new york to see a show?
我绝对不能错过
I wouldn't Miss it for the world.
没人说要去百老汇看戏
Nobody said anything about a show.
去维多利亚家那肯定有场好戏
Victoria's family? It's gotta be a show.
你这样说也有道理
Well, you're not entirely wrong,
我妈妈在当地还算是小有名气
And my mother was a bit of a local celebrity.
她有档节目叫《潘妮小姐的木偶》
She had a television show called Miss Penny's Puppets.
听起来不错
Oh, that sounds fun.
我妈妈把那些木偶当真人对待
My mom treated those puppets like they were real.
迷人鸟和飞动的蜜蜂
Glamourpuss the bird and budge the bee
那些难以启齿的事都是它们来传递的
Delivered all the difficult news in our family.
它们告诉我爸妈准备离婚
They told me when my mom and dad were getting divorced.
它们对我进行性教育
They taught me about sex.
等等你真的是跟着小鸟和蜜蜂学的
Wait, so you literally learned about the birds and the bees
小鸟和蜜蜂[意为性知识]
From a bird and a bee?
你妹妹还住在那里吗
And your sister still lives there?
是的贝丝从没离开过卡诺加瀑布镇
Yeah, Bess never left Canoga Falls.
她没结过婚她从不追求什么
She never married. She never did much.
她基本上和妈妈绑在一起生活
No, she mostly hangs out with my mom.
真是可悲
Mm. There's a sad picture.
一个中年单身女人
An unmarried, middle-aged woman
每天和一个老太婆一起生活
Hanging out with an older woman all day.
你继续
Go on.
当妈妈看到我获得这样的荣誉时
Well, this is gonna be wonderful
肯定是件非常不错的事
For my mom to see me being honored.
要知道因为我们都是演艺圈的人
You know, because we were both in show business,
她总是对我偏爱些
I've always been her favorite.
你妹妹对此怎么想
How'd your sister feel about that?
我还从没想过这事
Huh, well, I never really thought about it.
但我敢说她肯定也很激动
But I'm sure it was exciting for her.
等不及看这场好戏了
This is gonna be a good show.
你看起来似乎有些不同贝丝
You know, there's something different about you, Bess.
我想你肯定特别激动吧
I guess that you must be very excited about them
咱们漂亮的城市广场是以我命名的
Dedicating our beautiful, beloved town square to me.
这件事嘛
Yeah, about that.
都是我忽悠出来的
Uh, I made the whole thing up.
什么
What?
我只是想叫你回来看看妈
I brought you here cause of mom.
她最近变得有些古怪
She's getting a little wacky lately.
你说的"变得古怪"指什么
What do you mean "Getting wacky?"
我们家全家福照片里有袜子木偶
Our family portrait had sock puppets in it.
不只是木偶那些事了
It's not just the puppets anymore.
她开始遗忘一些事情
She's starting to forget stuff.
她不肯扔掉任何东西
She won't throw anything out.
我需要你的帮助
I need your help.
贝丝你远比我会照顾妈妈
Bess, you're so much better at handling mom than I am.
不不你这招现在不灵了
Oh, no, no, I'm not falling for that anymore.
她以前为了逃避洗碗
She used to get out of cleaning the kitchen
总骗我说 "你是最棒的洗碗能手"
By saying, "You are the most amazing dishwasher."
她也这样说我的
She does the same thing to me.
你们都是了不起的洗碗能手
And you are both incredible dishwashers.
我做有责任心的女儿已经做累了
Well, I am tired of being the responsible one.
-该你来了 -太离谱了吧
- It's your turn. - This is outrageous.
你怎么能用这种方式骗我过来
How could you trick me into doing something like this?
我直接说明你会来吗
Would you have come if I had said,
"该你回来照顾咱妈了"
"It's your turn to take care of mom?"
当然
Of course...
就是我会说的
Is what I'd like to say.
这就是你的回答
There's your answer.
我喜欢这位姐
I like this one.
天啊
Oh, my god.
我这周不用追《贮藏狂》了
I won't have to watch hoarders this week.
瞧这些旧杂♥志♥
Look at all these old magazines.
"应对千年虫什么是你现在要做的"
"Preparing for y2k: what you need to do right now."
"梅尔·吉布森他有出过烂片吗"
"Mel Gibson: Does he ever make a wrong move?"
妈
Hey, ma!
维多利亚回来了
Victoria is here.
大家好
Hi, y'all!
我不是妈妈
I'm not mom.
我是迷人鸟
I am glamourpuss.
你们先等会
Why don't you all wait right there
等我把潘妮女士找来
While I go fetch Miss Penny.
喂潘妮女士
Oh, Miss Penny!
潘妮女士
Oh, Miss Penny!
我在这里
I'm right here.
你好妈妈
Hi, mom.
维多利亚
Victoria?
维多利亚
Oh, Victoria.
真是太惊喜了
Oh, what a wonderful surprise.
让我好好看看你
Oh, let me look at you.
你真是光彩照人啊
You look absolutely wonderful.
或许她该教教她妹妹如何打扮
Oh, maybe she ought to give her sister some beauty tips.
这些是你的朋友吗
So is this your entourage?
是的是的
Yes, yes.
那是乔依爱尔卡和梅兰妮
That's Joy, Elka, and Melanie.
-你好 -天哪这手
- Hello. - Oh, my God, that hand.
真是巨大无比
It's gigantic.
我可不想让那大爪子伸进来
I wouldn't want that sucker inside of me.
快把你的手藏起来你都吓着布偶了
Hide your hand. You're scaring the puppet.
我卧室里有个布偶
I have a puppet in my bedroom,
你们一定要试试
you just have to try on.
我不知道你在担心什么
I don't know what you're worried about.
我是说这地方是乱七八糟的
I mean, yeah, the place is a little cluttered,
不过妈妈好好的呀
but mom is fine.
维多利亚
Victoria!
你什么时候来的
When did you get here?
真是太惊喜了
It's a wonderful surprise.
这是些是你的朋友吗
Oh, and this your entourage?
好消息是
Well, the good news is
你那大爪子她八成是忘了
she'll probably forget about your hands.
维多利亚你的房♥间
Wow, Victoria, your room is
30年前的时间舱
like a time capsule from 30 years ago.