燃情克利夫兰

Hot in Cleveland S04E18

Part 2 May 5, 2020, 8:56 a.m.

我上课要迟到啦
Oh! And I'm late for class.
我在上学哦大学
I'm a student. College.
重塑一下自我
Sort of reinventing myself.
没人鸟我回见
Nobody cares. Good-bye.
我还想再见到你梅兰妮
I have to see you again, Melanie.
不行
No.
昨晚的事就让它过去吧
Last night was last night.
女人从来没有拒绝过我
Women never say no to me.
-真的吗 -我跟妓♥女♥约会
- Really? - I date prostitutes.
要是她们会拒绝就不会干这一行了
So if they did, they really wouldn't be doing their job.
你竟然跟妓♥女♥约会
You date prostitutes?
事实上
As a matter of fact,
我看见你在吧台我以为...
when I saw you at the bar I assumed that...
你以为我是出来卖♥♥的吗
You thought I was a prostitute?
你吃花生吃得那么欢
Well, you were making a meal of those peanuts
还喝别人的酒
and drinking other people's wine.
一看就知道不是什么高级货色
I knew you weren't upper management.
但现在我知道你是完全不同的人
But now I think you're something else entirely.
你是真正的淑女
You're a real lady.
我喝晕了还跟个陌生人睡在了一起
I passed out drunk and woke up with a total stranger.
我爸妈就是这么认识的
That's how my mom met my dad.
话说他们都等不及要见你了
By the way, they can't wait to meet you.
你想得美
Yeah... not gonna happen.
不知道你俩在搞什么不过祝你们好运
Good luck with whatever it is you two are doing.
拿着我的钱去替我消灾
Okay, here's your money. Go and do your magic.
计划有变我不想要钱了
Change of plans. I don't want the money.
-我要梅兰妮 -什么
- I want Melanie. - What?
你必须说服她跟我约会
You have to get her to go out with me.
她现在没心情约会
Oh, well, she's not really dating anyone right now.
她正处在失恋的痛苦中呢
She's sort of going through a bad breakup.
办法你去想否则我就不干了
Make it happen, or our whole deal's off.
好吧我去问问她
Okay. I'll go ask her.
我倒是能保证说服
You know, I can pretty much guarantee
乔依跟你约会
that I could get Joy to go out with you.
我要梅兰妮
Melanie.
梅兰妮呢
Where's Melanie?
她去看医生了
She went to the doctor's.
白姨醉得口齿都不清了
靠
Shoot.
梅兰妮我想跟你聊聊丹尼
Melanie, I need to speak to you, about Danny.
是啊他很不错
Yes, he is cute.
好消息约好了
Good news! It's a date.
今晚在这里她会亲自给你准备晚餐
Tonight, here, she's gonna cook for you.
-她准备做什么菜 -怎么了
- What is she making? - Why?
有的东西我一吃就容易放屁
'Cause some foods make me gassy.
-我会跟她说的 -好的
- I'll let her know. - Okay.
每学期我只会给出一个"A"
I only give out one "A" per semester,
给你们所有人的作品中
and that goes to the student film
最不让我恶心的那部
that nauseates me the least.
-我有个想法 -不要卖♥♥萌
- I have an idea. - So, nothing cute,
也拜托你们别去拍什么动物
and for God's sakes, nothing with animals.
我没想法了
I have no ideas.
不要搞什么慢慢绽放的鲜花
No flowers opening slowly, all right?
"开♥苞♥"后啥样爷心里清楚
I know what a vagina looks like.
等着你的就是多年的赡养费
It looks like years of alimony.
我也没想法了
I'm out too.
迪宾医生还在接生
Dr. Dubin is still in delivery.
你要重新预约还是换个医生
Do you want to reschedule or see one of the other doctors?
那就换个医生吧
Oh, another doctor is fine.
只是一年一次的例行体♥检♥是吧
So just in for your annual checkup?
是的
Yes.
不过我昨晚跟一个人睡在一起
Although I did sleep with someone last night,
但他说我们什么也没做
but he said we didn't do anything.
话说回来他生活有点不大检点
On the other hand, he's kind of sleazy,
经常跟妓♥女♥搞在一起
and he usually sleeps with prostitutes...
但我真心觉得我们什么也没做
but I really don't think we did anything.
所以可能需要注意一下
So it might be something to be noted.
或不用
Or not.
算了还是别记了
Actually, don't put any of that down.
你怎么还写呢
Why are you writing?
只是给医生的一点小注释
Just notes for the doctor.
现在量体重吧
Now, let's get your weight.
非得量吗
Do we have to?
我昨晚喝了得有一加仑的酒
Because I drank, like, a gallon of wine last night.
就不能直接填去年的体重吗
Can't you just put down what I was last year?
你怎么还在写
Why are you still writing?
看看
Oh, let's see.
记下这个数就好了
Just put that down!
医生很快就过来
The doctor will be right in.
惨了
Shoot.
梅兰妮
Melanie?
1939年德国党卫军军官
So in 1939, German SS officers
占领了你的故乡克拉科夫是吗
commandeered your family's home in Krakow.
你当时肯定吓坏了
You must have been terrified.
是的
Yes.
但我还算是死里逃生
But I was one of the lucky ones.
我跟农场里的动物们告了别
I said good-bye to the animals on the farm,
当晚就逃离了波兰
and fled Poland that very night.
停
And, cut!
拍的真美爱尔卡
That was beautiful, Elka.
我的电影具备了得奥斯卡的一切因素
My film's got everything those Oscar-winners have...
长相崎岖的老太太谈论纳粹
craggy-looking old people talking about Nazis.
我肯定拿下"A"了
I'm a shoo-in to get that "A."
先等会儿
Not so fast.
我还想为我的电影采访你呢
I want to interview you for my film.
真的吗
Really?
但我的故事怎么可能
But my story can't possibly be
有你的故事那么精彩
as interesting as yours.
别上赶着贬低自己乔依
Oh, don't put yourself down, Joy.
那是我的活儿
That's my job.
嘿你们猜怎么着
Hey, guys, guess what.
我和我的妇科大夫有个约会
I have a date with my gynecologist.
那叫预约亲爱的
They're called appointments, dear.
我们都经历过梅兰妮
We've all been there, Melanie.
饥渴难耐想要男人的触摸
So desperate for a man's touch
就去预约一个根本不需要的看诊
you make an appointment you don't even need.
不我从没这么干过
No, I've never done that.
我也没有
Nor have I.
不这可是货真价实的约会
No, this is a real date.
记得酒吧被打劫那次我遇到的可爱医生吗
Remember that cute doctor I met when the bar got held up,
他需要我脱下塑型裤
and he needed me to take off my spanx
让他当做止血带使用
so he could use it as a tourniquet,
当时我以为
and I thought, at the time,
那绝对是认识男人
that's the most embarrassing way possible
最丢人的方式了
to meet a guy?
结果同一个人这次更丢人
Well, same guy, more embarrassing way.
你不会让他给你做妇科检查了吧
You didn't let him examine you.
没有没有我知道自己说过
No, no, no, no. And I know I said
还没准备好约会但是
I wasn't gonna start dating yet, but...
你知道吗说不定我需要这么做
You know what? Maybe this is just what I need
来忘掉阿莱克
to get over Alec.
你知道俗话怎么说
You know the old saying.
上帝关上一扇门就打开一扇窗
When God closes a door, he opens a window?
才不是呢
No.
忘掉一个"裤裆"的最好办法
The best way to get over a man
就是钻进另一个"裤裆"
is to get under another one.
等会儿等会儿
Wait, wait.
这不就是那个说给你打电♥话♥
Wasn't this the guy who said he'd call you
却一直没打的家伙吗
and never did?
是的但那是因为
Yes, but that's because
他之前跟女朋友和好了