燃情克利夫兰

Hot in Cleveland S04E09

Part 3 May 5, 2020, 8:55 a.m.

I've been playing this thing with Lloyd all wrong.
吓跑男人的最快方法
Nothing sends a man running faster
就是逼他们许下承诺
than demanding a commitment.
劳埃德是个刚被乔依
Lloyd is the teenager
夺走处子之身的男娃
whose virginity Joy took.
他还是个很厉害的医生
He's also a brilliant doctor.
你要真以为一个"医生"
If you think that's going to
就能洗清这事的荒唐
take the creep off it, Joy,
你就大错特错了
you're sadly mistaken.
劳埃德你才18 大把的"种子"等着"挥洒"
Lloyd, you're 18. You've got wild oats to sow.
我已经不年轻这块"地"算是"休耕"了
Whereas my oats are sown, my fields are fallow.
我现在这个年纪
Look, I'm at a stage in life
是想要定下来的阶段
where I want to settle down.
说实话你还早得很呢
And let's be honest, you're not.
嫁给我吧乔依
Marry me, Joy.
什么
What?
谁管你的"地"是否"休耕"了
Who cares if your fields are fallow?
大不了我们领养孩子
We can always adopt.
我不能嫁给你劳埃德因为
I can't marry you, Lloyd, because...
我已经结婚了
I'm already married.
和维多利亚·蔡斯那女演员
To Victoria Chase, the actress.
在《夏日骤变》里面演阿曼达·拜恩斯
The one who played Amanda Bynes's mom
她母亲的那个人
in Switcheroo Summer?
可能吧
Maybe.
我哪知道
Sure. I don't know.
这个好办你很快就能办好离婚
We can fix this. You can get a quick divorce.
我弟弟是律师
My little brother's an attorney.
然后我们可以结婚
Then we can get married--
不打算接吗可能有紧急情况
Shouldn't you get that? It could be an emergency.
知道吗有时候你一个劲地呼叫医生
You know how sometimes you page your doctor,
-但他不在吗 -嗯
- And he's not available? - Yeah.
他一直是在的
He's always available.
如果我签字离婚
So if I sign the divorce papers,
你就帮我劝埃米特
you'll help me convince Emmett
来上我的真人秀
to appear on my reality show?
-没错 -成了
- Exactly. - Done.
太好了
Oh, fantastic.
那你律师什么时候能把文件寄来
So how soon can your lawyers send them?
不我意思是已经做完了
No, no. I'm mean, done-done.
我几年前就签字了
I signed them years ago.
是埃米特一直没签字
It's Emmett that hasn't signed them.
什么
What?
这么说是埃米特不想离婚
So it's Emmett who doesn't want the divorce?
熟♥女♥杀手谈恋爱可是
Look, sir god's gift to women
自有一套的
has a pattern.
开始总是分分钟都妙不可言
He becomes infatuated with a woman,
让你以为热情它永不会减
makes passionate, actor-y love to her.
可一旦你开始
And the moment she starts
暗示着要求承诺
hinting around for a commitment,
他就会跟你摊牌说他是有妇之夫
He drops the bomb that he's still married.
我就是他摆脱恋情的挡箭牌
I'm his get-out-of-love free card.
我才不信你这一套
Hmm. I don't believe you.
要不是因为我这个作用
If I weren't his safety net,
你说说看为什么他还不跟我离婚
why on earth would he keep me around?
天呐
Oh, god.
你说得对
You're right.
好消息是每当他甩人的时候
On the upside, when he dumps someone,
总会送上卡地亚的首饰盒
There's always a Cartier box
里面不是炫目的钻石就是璀璨的脚镯
with a gorgeous diamond watch or an anklet inside.
我献出了我的心
What, so I give him my heart,
却只换回一个脚镯
and he gives me an anklet?
也许这次是我看错了
Look, maybe I'm wrong this time.
比起他之前的那些女人
I mean, he does seem to genuinely care for you
他看上去真得更在乎你
more than any of the others.
-真的吗 -是啊
- Really? - Yeah.
我看你至少也值一条项链了
You'll probably rate at least a necklace.
总之你还是会劝埃米特来上我节目的吧
Anyway, you'll still talk Emmett into coming on my show, right?
要是你不劝的话
'cause if you don't,
我会像黑道做了你贱♥人♥
I will cut you like bad bangs, bitch.
我不参加《真实主妇》是不是可惜了
Aren't I perfect for true housewives?
89年美国电影《情到深处》的经典场景
男主劳埃德举着录音机站在女主窗下
他奶奶最爱的电影看来是
His grandmother's favorite movie
《情到深处》
was Say Anything...
我已经够难受了
I'm depressed enough.
还得被这首歌♥一遍遍摧残吗
Do we have to listen to that song over and over?
乔依去和你12岁的男友好好谈谈吧
Joy, go talk to your 12-year-old boyfriend.
他才不是12岁
He's not 12.
六年前就是啊
He was six years ago.
我去跟他谈就是了
Fine, I'll go talk to him.
真希望我能和埃米特谈谈
Oh, I wish I could talk to Emmett.
维多利亚你必须谈
Victoria, you have to.
这场对话你是逃不掉的
You have to have the conversation.
她说得对
She's right.
现在这么煎熬是因为话没说清
It's the not knowing that's killing you.
说得好孩子他妈
Well said, little mother.
我愿付出一切只求和我妻子聊一聊
I would give anything to talk to my wife again.
差点忘了谁录《美♥国♥之♥音♥》了
Oh, I forgot. Anyone taping the voice?
NBC歌♥手选秀节目
你现在心里想什么我清楚得很
I know you think that what you're feeling now
你想要天长地久相信我你不是真想
You'll feel forever, but believe me, you won't.
你觉得是天造地设其实就是本能反应
You think it's destiny, but it's just biology.
等你这痴迷的劲头过去之后
And once the sex endorphins wear off,
你就能恢复理智了
You'll come to your senses.
明白我说的话吗劳埃德
Do you understand me, Lloyd?
我爱你
I love you.
我真是爱死你了
I love you so much.
听着艾米特我自己
Look, Emmett, the last thing
其实也不想跟你聊这个话题
I wanted was to have this conversation,
但老实说我之所以想要让你离婚
But the truth is, I don't want you to be married
是想让我们还有未来可以期待
Because I don't want that position to be filled.
我现在并不是催促你许下承诺
Now that I'm looking for anything right now.
只是对我来说有可能性也是好的
It's just I want that to at least be a possibility.
好吧我并不是傻瓜
Well, I'd be a bit of an idiot
我知道这个话题咱们是逃不掉的
If I hadn't seen this conversation coming.
维多利亚我想把这个送给你
Victoria, I have something for you.
珠宝
Jewelry.
亲爱的你怎么如此悲伤
Darling, you look so sad.
那是因为我的确伤心了
Yeah, because I am sad.
实在难以接受
I'm devastated.
你说过你爱我的
You said you loved me.
我什么时候说过了
When did I say that?
在威尼斯那时我藏在... 没事了
In Venice when I hiding in-- never mind.
那时你藏在我酒店房♥间中的
When you were hiding in the room service cart
客房♥服务车里
In my hotel room.
-你知道 -我闻到你的香水味了
- You knew? - I smelled your perfume.
我之所以没有说破
I didn't say anything
是因为不想让你难堪
because I didn't want to embarrass you.
我懂你维多利亚
I know you, Victoria.
那么你就应该知道我才不要这个
Yeah, well, then you should know that I don't want this.
打开看看
Just open it.
我离婚协议的最后一页签上字了
The last page of my divorce papers, signed.
艾米特
oh, Emmett.
是什么让你改变主意了
Oh, what made you change your mind?
尼基的出现让我意识到
Having Nikki around reminded me
你对于我有多么的特殊
how different things are with you.
让我意识到从某种层面来说
And I realized that on some level,
我总是利用和她的婚姻作为借口
I'm using this technicality to get out of things
摆脱那些我并不在意的女人
with women I didn't really care about.
但是你维多利亚改变了这一切
But you, Victoria, you have changed everything.
尼基呢
And Nikki?
我已经答应制片方
Oh, I have agreed to call