高玩救未来

Future Man S01E01

Part 3 April 11, 2020, 11:01 a.m.

Yes, yes, okay.
又到这关了
Here we are, again.
第83关
Level 83.
每次我火力全开冲进去
Every time I go in there guns blazing,
每次都挂掉
and every time I die.
我不能重复做同样的事
I can't keep doing the same thing again and again
还指望结果有所不同
expecting different results.
我得尝试新思路
I gotta try something different.
卸掉所有装备
是/否
卸掉所有装备
Unequip all gear.
冲冲冲
Go, go, go!
操
Oh, shit.
-操 -自毁程序激活
- Oh, shit. - Self-destruct sequence activated.
-我的天 -五
- Oh my God. - Five.
-冲啊 -四
- Go, go, go! - Four.
-天啊冲 -三
- Oh, my God, go! - Three.
-快冲 -二
- Go, go, go, go, go! - Two.
-快点小混♥蛋♥ -一
- Run, you little fucker, run! - One.
恭喜
Congratulations.
你打败了所有生化人拯救了人类
You have defeated all of the Biotics and saved humanity.
你是救世主
You are the savior.
各位
Hey, guys!
猜猜我做了什么
Guess what I did?
人呢
Hello?
-出门买♥♥小吃了 -还有探索
- Out to get snacks. - And explore!
只有你我两人了西格弗里德
All right, Siegfried, you and me, pal.
嘿猎虎
Hey, Tiger.
你在这儿干什么
What are you doing sniffing around these parts?
或许是因为我在发♥情♥
Maybe it's because I'm in heat.
那你来对地方了
Heh, well then you're in the right place
我也在发♥情♥
'cause I'm in heat also.
不过严格来说雄猫不会
Although, technically, male cats don't- -
管他呢不重要了
Fuck it, it doesn't matter.
不重要
Doesn't fucking matter.
未来侠
Future Man.
什么鬼
The fuck?
我中"精"了
Oh, I'm hit!
我♥操♥
What the fuck?!
你们干什么你们是谁
What are you doing here, who are you people?
我是猎虎他是暴狼
I'm Tiger, this is Wolf.
我们从2162年穿越回来
We've come back from the year 2162.
你要帮我们拯救世界
You're gonna help us save the world.
不不滚出去
No, no, get out of here!
你们难道要我相信你们是
What, do you expect me to believe you guys
我电子游戏里面的人物吗
are characters from my video game?
这不只是游戏
It's more than just a game!
该死我全身都是
God dammit, it's all over me!
淡定
Relax.
暴狼不就是一点精♥液♥吗
Wolf, it's just a little cum.
-是很多精♥液♥ -暴狼
- It's a lot of cum! - Wolf!
听好了
Listen carefully.
"生化战争"里发生的一切都是真实的
Everything that happens in the Biotic Wars is real.
生化人战争一切
The Biotics, the wars, everything.
这游戏是穿越回来征募和训练新兵的工具
The game is a recruitment and training tool sent back in time
为了找到有能力拯救我们的那个人
to find the one person with the skills to save us.
一个救世主
A savior.
就是你
It's you.
你是第一个也是唯一一个通关的人
You're the first and only person to have beaten the game.
那是《最后的星空战士》
That's The Last Starfighter.
和电影的情节一模一样
It's the exact same plot as the movie.
什么是电影
What's a movie?
够了谁让你们来的
Okay, who put you up to this?
电玩店里的那两个吗真是混♥蛋♥
The guys in the video game store? Such dicks.
这是你的武器库吗
Is this part of your arsenal of weaponry?
不是拜托不要
No, no, please don't.
那是签名版的天啊
That's a signed authen- - Oh, my God!
那可是我用我仅有的比特币买♥♥来的
I paid my only bitcoin for that!
听着听着
Okay, listen, listen!
我知道信息量有点大
I know this is a lot for you to digest,
但时间不等人
but the clock is ticking
我们必须去做这件事
and we have to do this.
做什么
Do what?
-我们要去69[69式] -什么
- We're going to '69. - Beg your pardon?
我说我们要[去]69
I said we're going to '69.
你和我现在69吗
Uh, you and me are gonna 69 right now?
-是的准备好了吗 -好吧
- Yes, are you ready? - Okay.
不过他要干什么
Only, what's his deal in all this?
旁观还是
Is he gonna watch or...
不我也要和你69
No, I'm going to '69 with you too,
确保你不搞砸
make sure you don't fuck it up.
他说得对他必须来
No, he's right, we can't do this without him.
你们在说什么
What the fuck are you talking about?
回到1969年去拯救世界
Going back in time to 1969 to save the world.
原来是说年份啊
The year.
这是什么
What's that supposed to be?
TTD 时空穿梭装置
It's a TTD, time travel device.
好弱智的名字看着就像iPad
That's a stupid name, it looks like a fucking iPad.
别碰
Don't fucking touch it!
你知道为了偷来这个我们失去了多少士兵吗
Do you know how many soldiers we lost stealing this?
好人
Good men!
比你好的人
Better fucking men than you.
暴狼
Wolf!
-够了我们需要他 -是吗
- Stop it, we need him. - Do we?
我们真要在这家伙身上浪费一次穿梭机会吗
Are we really gonna waste a leap on this fucking guy?
我们不知道我们一共有多少次
We don't know how many we have.
现在是《最后的星空战士》加上《时空怪客》了
Okay, so it's Last Starfighter meets Quantum Leap now?
听着我为你们鼓掌好吗
Look, I'll give it to you guys, all right?
你们演得很赞
You're terrific actors,
你们的服装也无可挑剔
and your costumes are impeccable,
但我不信好吗
but I'm not buying it, okay?
你们显然是调查过我对电子游戏
You just obviously researched my love of video games
以及科幻电影的喜好
and science fiction, and are using it against me
然后用很低劣的手段来整我
to trick me in a really, really mean way.
你们这是擅闯民宅你们不可能
You're breaking and entering right now. You can't even be- -
什么情况
What's happening?
我冒了极大的风险才来到这儿
I have risked way too much to get here.
我们必须带上你走
We are not leaving without you.
什么情况
What's going on?
我的天
Oh, my God!
我♥操♥
Oh, oh shit.
我♥操♥
Oh, shit!
我的东西呢
Where's all my shit?
你东西不在这儿我们没在你房♥间里了
Your shit's not here. We're not in your room anymore.
什么鬼
What the heck?
爸爸
Daddy?
你是谁
Who are you?
我是你的
I'm your- -
要吸毒到别地去该死的嬉皮士
Do your goddamn drugs somewhere else, fucking hippie.
-妈 -冷静
- Mom! - Calm down!
妈
Mom!
开始了看看他的身手
Here we go, time to see his moves.
救命
Help!
打他爸爸
Get him, Dad!
-滚出我家 -这也是我家
- Get out of my house! - It's my house too.
未来侠威胁评估然后反击
Future Man. Do a threat assessment and fight back.
不要不要
No, no, no, no.
奶奶奶奶是我小乔
Grandma, Grandma, it's me, Joshy.
打他妈
Get him, Mom!
巴里叔叔
Uncle Barry?
用锅
The plates!
我们试过你的方法了显然不奏效