高玩救未来

Future Man S01E03

Part 3 April 11, 2020, 11:01 a.m.

You're not gonna be the center of attention.
你嘴唇上那坨迷你千层面才会
That little mini lasagna on your lip is.
你看什么看白♥痴♥
What are you looking at, butthead?
你的机会来了
There's your Biff.
对
Uh, yeah.
克罗尼什博士
Dr. Kronish,
我能问你个问题吗
can I ask you a question?
你到底是怎么染上疱疹的
How in the hell did you get herpes?
一切要从登月那晚说起
Well, it started the night of the moon landing.
输了一场斗舞让我当众蒙羞后
Being totally humiliated after losing a dance-off,
我立刻从兄弟会逃走
I was summarily run out of my fraternity.
我试着重拾自信
I tried to regain my confidence
踏上了遍布世界的性♥爱♥征程
by embarking on a sexual odyssey across several continents,
并且
and, well...
"上"了数不清的炮♥友♥
countless partners.
我很肯定就是这样染上疱疹的
I'm pretty sure that's how I got herpes.
好吧
Yeah.
克罗尼什博士我...
Um, Dr. Kronish, I, uh,
我要带你出去看样东西
I need to show you something outside.
是什么
What is it?
是惊喜
It's a surprise.
我可喜欢惊喜了
Ooh, I love surprises.
太好了你愿意跟我来吗
Great, you want to come with me?
我问你个事
Uh, look, let me ask you something.
你要带我去的那个地方冷吗
Will it be chilly where you're taking me?
挺冷的
Pretty chilly.
我们要去很久吗
Will we be gone long?
很久
Yeah, a long time.
等等停一下
Stop, stop what you're doing.
我做不到
I... I can't do this.
把外套脱掉
Take... take off your coat.
到底要怎么样
What's it gonna be?
你有生命危险知道吗
Your life is in danger, okay?
到底穿不♥穿♥外套
So coat or no coat?
不听我说克罗尼什博士
No, listen to me, Dr. Kronish.
有人想要你的命
There are people who want you dead.
你得离开这里你得躲起来
You have to get out of here, you have to hide.
我保护不了你
I can't protect you.
你是在说支持动物权利的那些人吧
Oh, you're talking about those animal rights people.
他们已经揪着我好几年了
They've been after me for years.
我已经收到过将近两万次死亡威胁了
I must be nearing 20,000 death threats.
真的吗
Really?
你知道我们每年在这儿
Do you have any idea how many possums we kill
杀死多少只负鼠吗
at this facility annually?
数量惊人
Staggering numbers.
不克罗尼什博士这严重多了
No, Dr. Kronish, this is much worse.
这些人是训练有素的杀手
These people are trained killers,
他们不喜欢你
and they don't like you,
也不喜欢你的研究
and they don't like your research,
他们会竭尽所能
and they'll do anything they can
阻止研究成果流出市面
to prevent it from getting out there.
你必须躲起来
You have to disappear.
我绝不能那样做福特曼
I could never do that, Futterman.
我的研究太重要了
My work is too important.
如果你死了
What good is your work...
你的研究还有什么用
if you're dead?
我感激你对我的关心
I appreciate your concern.
如果你那么担心的话
And if you're all that worried,
打这个电♥话♥
Call that number.
他们专门处理死亡威胁
They handle all my death threats.
找卡罗尔
Ask for Carol.
已经过了六根半手指了
It's been, like, six and a half fingers.
我们都知道救世主不会来了
We both know the savior's not coming.
不如直接把这栋楼给炸了吧
Let's just blow up the building.
不行
No.
我们得亲自动手
We're gonna have to do this ourselves.
当面杀了他
Up close and personal.
好了各位我们现在要进去参加焦点小组了
Okay everybody! We're gonna go inside now for the focus group.
请在这儿排成一直线
So please form a single file line right here.
机会来了
Ratpot.
克罗尼什实验室
你排成这队形是要干什么
You. What is the nature of this formation?
我们是来参加焦点小组的
We're here for the focus group.
你没拿这传♥单♥吗
Didn't you get one of these?
运气太好了克罗尼什
Double ratpot. Kronish!
伊莱亚斯·克罗尼什博士亲临现场
弗利特伍德麦克乐队
Fleetwood Mac.
到后面排队
Back of the line.
你活得不耐烦了吗小丑
You want to bleed, jester?
到后面排队
Back of the line.
算了
Save it.
低调一点
Low profile.
会长在口腔生殖器甚至肛♥门♥上
Oral, genital, even anal,
他们称之为单纯疱疹病毒
they call it herpes simplex,
但它一点不单纯
but there's nothing simple about it.
我是伊莱亚斯·克罗尼什博士
Um, I'm Dr. Elias Kronish,
我在为你们寻找解药
and I'm seeking the cure for you...
也为我自己
and for me.
有什么想法和感受吗
Thoughts, feelings?
已经连续第三遍了
That's the third one of these in a row.
我再也受不了了我们已经进来了
I can't take it anymore... we're in the building,
-直接去找那个混♥蛋♥ 把他灭了吧 -不行
- let's just go find the motherfucker and kill him. - No.
看这段视频让我不自在
Watching it made me uncomfortable,
可能是因为他也很不自在
I think because he was uncomfortable.
克罗尼什会来的辛迪保证过的
Kronish will be here, Cindy promised.
我不信任辛迪
I don't trust Cindy.
她表面在笑但她眼神很悲伤
She's smiling, but she has sad eyes.
对哦
Oh yeah.
还有其他人对克罗尼什博士有感想吗
Anyone else have thoughts on Dr. Kronish?
我鄙视他和他所拥护的一切
I despise him and everything he stands for.
你已经是第三次这么说了知道了
That's the third time you've said that, noted.
他要是死了我还喜欢他多一点
I'd like him better if he died.
好吧
Okay.
还有其他人想看到克罗尼什博士死吗
Anyone else want to see Dr. Kronish die?
有
Yes.
这个嘛
Well...
你说过克罗尼什博士会来的
You said Kronish was gonna be here.
他人呢辛迪
Where is he, Cindy?
我说过了克罗尼什博士很忙
Again, Dr. Kronish is very busy.
不如我们来看下一条宣传片
Why don't we take a look at our next ad?
事先说明一下
Just want to say in advance,
在本片制♥作♥过程中没有负鼠受伤
no possums were hurt in the making of this.
你们刚听到的声音
The sound you just heard
是负鼠射♥精♥的声音
is a possum ejaculating.
不如我们炸了这该死的大楼
Let's just blow up the fucking building.
干掉克罗尼什和剩下的这堆垃圾
Take out Kronish and the rest of this trash.
好我只需要大家填完这个表格
Okay, I'm just gonna have you all fill out this form.
这真♥他♥妈♥操蛋
This is some fucking shit.
我们已经进来了直接去干掉他吧
You know, we're in the building, let's just go.
好主意指挥官
Brilliant idea, commander.
暴狼
Wolf.
不不不谁也不能走
Oh, no, no, no. No one leaves.
真的吗
Really?
你要阻止我们吗辛迪
You're gonna stop us, Cindy?
你真想这么干吗
You want to do that?
他们去哪儿了
Where did they go?
操
Shit.
-怎么了 -他们说好会
- What happened? - They promised they'd do a better job
更仔细检查来这里的人的
screening who comes to these things.
不要啊
Oh no.
他们去哪儿了
Where'd they go?
快弄出来