高玩救未来

Future Man S01E04

Part 2 April 11, 2020, 11:01 a.m.

- It'll work. - Are you sure?
你不想要证据吗
Don't you want proof?
你们对时空穿梭又知道些什么
I mean, what do you even really know about time travel?
你们知道多元宇宙吗
Do you know about multiverses?
或者平行现实
Or alternate realities?
又或者时空循环呢
Or what about time loops?
因为要是你们搞错了其中任何一项
Because if you're wrong about one of those things
那么你们的任务就将彻底失败
then your mission will be a complete failure
你们就会永远停留在过去
and you'll be stuck in the past forever.
好吧我们去找更多的卡梅箩
Fine, we'll find more Cameronium here,
然后再回去
and then we are going back
婴儿克罗尼什我们是杀定了
and we're killing little baby Kronish.
最近的卡梅箩哨站在哪
Where's the closest Cameronium outpost?
我才说了我连什么是卡梅箩都不知道
I just told you I don't even know what Cameronium is.
生物燃料一直都存在
It's biofuel, it's been around forever.
-是什么做成的 -我植物我不知道
- What's it made of? - I... plants, I don't know!
你应该知道啊你是科学家
You tell us, you're the scientist.
你在实验室工作
You work in a laboratory.
那是你的科学魔杖
That's your science wand.
你在这是做什么的
What is your job here?
该死的清洁工
A fucking janitor?
你知道我们那里谁是清洁工吗
Do you know who's a janitor where we come from?
-机器人 -没人
- A robot? - Nobody!
因为在生存的战斗中
Because in a battle of survival,
没人关心地板干不干净
no one gives a dick about clean floors!
我就知道他不是救世主
I knew he wasn't the savior,
他射在我躯干上的时候我就知道了
I knew it the minute he jizzed all over my torso!
-我还可以帮忙 -不要了
- I can still help! - No, no, no.
你不行我们不需要你
You can't, we don't need you.
你只会妨碍我们你弱不禁风
You get in the way, you're weak,
你促使克罗尼什公开解药
you fucking inspired Kronish to share the cure!
从个人层面上讲我貌似不喜欢你
And on a personal level, I'm not sure I like you.
你被驱逐出队了福特曼
You're off the team, Futterman.
就连你的名字都low穿地心
Even your name's a disappointment.
别这么做
Guys, don't do this!
你们去哪
Where are you going?
抛下你去完成任务
To finish the mission without you.
你们浑身都是脑浆
You're covered in brains!
吃屌♥吧
Eat a dick!
留意卡梅箩哨站
Keep your eyes peeled from a Cameronium outpost.
-报♥警♥ -我想吃个这个
- Call 911. - I want one of those.
我吃过的最好吃的屌♥
Best cock I've ever eaten.
我们走运了
Hey, we're in luck.
环保卡梅箩看到没
Green plus of Cameronium, see?
我们不需要那傻蛋
We don't need that idiot.
-卡梅箩在哪 -我已经说了
- Where's the Cameronium? - I already told you,
我们最带劲的就是先驱教父大♥麻♥
the most powerful stuff we have is the Godfather OG Kush.
没有比那更强的了
It doesn't get any stronger than that.
卡梅箩强多了
Cameronium is way stronger,
它能把你的先驱大♥麻♥操到另一个维度
it'll skull-fuck your fucking OG Kush to another dimension.
有机会我很乐意尝试
Hey man, I'd love to try it sometime.
如果你们找到了通知我
If you track it down, hit me up.
悠着点吃那些马卡龙
Go easy on those macaroons, dude.
-那些含有20毫克的大♥麻♥ -什么
- Those are 20 mgs of pot. - Huh?
靠我们最不需要的就是更多的死警♥察♥
Shit, last thing we need is more dead cops.
更多
More?
你们干什么别站街上
Hey, what are you doing? Get off the street!
我们可以排除绿色卡车
Okay, we can rule out the green truck
是卡梅箩源头了但我
as a Cameronium source, but I just...
猫头鹰说了不管我们在哪个时代
Owl said that no matter what time we were in,
我们都能找到的
we'd be able to find it.
要是猫头鹰在这儿他会怎么做
What would Owl do if he were here?
什么都不会做
Nothing.
生化人在他头里放了条蠕虫吃了他的大脑
Biotics put a myrm in his head and ate his brain.
我看着他死的
I watched him die.
我知道暴狼我也在场
Yeah, I know, Wolf, I was there.
你说的是脑子里还没有蠕虫时的猫头鹰
Oh, oh, you're talking pre-myrm Owl.
废话我说的是脑子里还没有蠕虫时的猫头鹰
Fuck yes, I'm talking pre-merm Owl.
你知道什么不可思议吗
You know what's crazy?
我们是时空穿梭者
We're time travelers.
你♥他♥妈♥现在是什么毛病
What the fuck is wrong with you right now?
为什么像尿酒喝多了的样子
Why are you acting like you're drunk off piss wine?
你干嘛这么刻薄
Why are you acting so mean?
你是真生气还是玩笑般的生气
Are you like actually mad, or are you just joking mad?
你得专注
You need to focus!
我们在一个我们一无所知的时代里
We are in a time that we know nothing about.
或许把电子游戏送回从前
Maybe sending a video game back in time to find
寻找人类的救世主是个馊主意
humanity's savior was, like, a bad plan.
天你一点忙都没帮到
Oh my god, you're not helping.
你只知道把街边大屌♥塞进你嘴里
You're just fucking shoving street cock in your mouth
然后盯着你的手看45分钟
and looking at your hands for 45 minutes.
-那屌♥很美味 -你现在越来越软了
- That cock was so delicious. - You're going soft on me.
你意识到现在只有我们了吗
Do you realize it's just us now?
只剩我们了
We're the only ones left.
我需要你保持坚挺
I need you to stay hard.
-我很坚挺 -坚如磐石吗
- I am hard. - Rock hard?
坚挺得不行
So god damn fucking hard solid.
--坚如磐石 -是的
- Solid as a fucking rock? - Yeah!
证明给我看
Then prove it.
吃了那老鼠
Eat that rat.
好恶心
God, this is so disgusting.
滚出去你不能来这儿
Get the fuck out, no, you're not allowed.
从哪儿来就回哪儿去
Back up from whence you came.
这里是抵御者的指挥中心
This is the command center for the resistance.
-听我说 -不福特曼家的人禁止来这儿
- Please, listen. - No, there's no Futtermans allowed,
清洁工禁止来这儿
there's no janitors allowed,
比我们矮的人也禁止来这儿
there is no one shorter than us allowed down here.
我知道你很生我气
Okay, I know that you're like super pissed at me right now,
但我想到了个点子我发誓可以成功
but I have an idea and I swear to you it's going to work.
我们自己就能搞明白
We've got this shit figured out,
没你也能成功
we're fine without you.
我们有计划以及新计划
We've got a plan, we're rolling out a new plan.
我们有很多线索暴狼有线索
We've got a lot of leads, Wolf has some leads.
-暴狼 -我没有线索
- Wolf? - I don't have any leads.
求你们让我归队
Guys, please, let me back on the team.
去洗干净
Get cleaned up.
我知道哪儿有卡梅箩
I know where to get more Cameronium.
我不记得我有买♥♥过这个然后我想起来
I don't remember buying this, then I realized
-这是我爸的手电筒 -这就说得通了
- it was my dad's Fleshlight. - Oh, that makes sense, yeah.
这里还是老样子
And nothing's changed here, okay.
看看谁回来了
Well, look who's back again.
你玩"生化战争"又把手柄玩坏了还是
You break another joystick playing Biotic Wars or...?
不是我没玩了
Uh, no, I stopped playing.
那些角色太不现实了
Those characters were so unrealistic.
尤物
Boing.
你还在和那个化学家交往对吗
Hey, you're still dating that, like, chemist guy, right?
-那个教授 -莱尔
- The professor dude? - Lyle?
没我们分手了我现在叫他前任教授
No, we broke up, I call him Professor Ex now.
有意思
That's funny.
你们是不愉快的分手
Was it like a bad messy kind of breakup
还是那种你可以
or the kind where you could like casually
帮我联♥系♥他的那种
put me in contact with him?
不我讨厌他我们以前做♥爱♥的时候
No, I mean, I hate him, he used to wear
他总是爱穿领口带有纽扣的衬衣我讨厌他
a button-down shirt every time we fucked, I hate him.
-问这个干什么 -没什么
- Why do you ask? - Oh, no, nothing.
我刚开始在社区大学
I just, I started taking these classes
上课我的第一次作业就是
at a community college, and my first assignment
采访化学家我就想着
actually was to interview a chemist and I thought...
这样你上的哪所社区大学
Oh yeah, what community college are you at?
加州社区大学
Uh, it's the California Community College.
我这辈子从没听说过