高玩救未来

Future Man S01E05

Part 5 April 11, 2020, 11:01 a.m.

She's endangered my life and to be honest,
我甚至觉得她不喜欢我这个人
I don't even think she likes me as a person.
运气好的话她很快就会走
With any luck, she's going to be gone soon.
一去不复返
Like, really really far away forever.
乔西我和你真的不太熟
Josh, I don't really know you
你也完全不了解我所以
and you definitely don't know me, so...
别说了好吗
just let's not, okay?
棒极了
Divine.
你知道这要冷却五小时的吧
You know this needs to chill for five hours, right?
交给我吧达米安
Leave that to me, Damian.
继续搅拌
Don't stop stirring!
我要丝滑的质地
I want a texture of pure velvet!
躲在洗手间外面可不好看
Lurking outside of a bathroom is not a good look.
等等我确实了解你
Wait, I do know you.
听着我知道你总是
Okay, look, I know that you always cut
把你喝的汽水塑料拉环剪断
the plastic soda rings that you have
这样鱼就不会噎到
so that way, the fish don't choke.
这很贴心
Which is so thoughtful.
我还知道你很幽默
And I also know that you're really funny,
因为你经常画负鼠
because you always make those doodles
用鸡鸡戳科学家的画
of possums probing scientists.
你翻看了我的垃圾吗
Are you looking through my trash?
是的
Yes.
不是
No.
算是吧
Sort of.
但我有所收获
But I've learned things.
比如你很关心别人
Like, you're really caring.
比如你亲手写感谢信
You know, like, you write thank-you notes by hand.
没人这样做
No one does that.
而且你非常非常有创意
And you're super, super creative.
你把平平无奇的三明治包装纸
You take the most boring everyday sandwich wrapper
变成折纸艺术品
and you make it into an origami masterpiece.
我全都留着了
I keep all of them.
比如那只鹤那条龙舟
Like the crane, the dragon boat.
我要打断你了
I'm going to go ahead and stop you.
你现在介乎于变♥态♥和浪漫之间
You're walking a razor's edge between creepy and romantic.
更更倾向哪一边呢
Which... which way am I leaning?
别再翻我的垃圾了
Stop looking through my trash.
-好的 -好
- Deal. - Okay.
嗯
Yeah.
大家请注意
Can I get everyone's attention please?
天啊
Oh my God.
我不能错过祝酒我不能错过祝酒
I can't miss that toast, I can't miss that toast!
有请克罗尼什博士
Let's give it up for Dr. Kronish.
你不能错过祝酒
You can't miss the toast?
不能
No, I can't!
抱歉我得...
Uh, I'm sorry, I have to...
我得走了
I've got to go.
回聊
I'll talk to you later!
我本来没想到今晚要发言
Uh, I didn't think I'd be making this speech tonight.
你就不该发言
You shouldn't!
女士们先生们我太太玛丽戈尔德
Ladies and gentlemen, my... my wife, Marigold.
克罗尼什实验室的太阳还没落山
The sun is not setting on Kronish Labs.
克罗尼什球在哪
Where are the balls?
尚有工作有待完成
There's still work to be done.
昨天榨取负鼠精♥液♥的人
The people who milked possums yesterday
明天会继续榨取
will be milking possums tomorrow.
你可真不好找啊福特曼先生
You're a hard man to find, Mr. Futterman.
还是我应该称呼你为帕斯特曼先生
Or should I call you Mr. Pastman, hm?
要是这北极冰冻脉冲不起作用
If this arctic pulse ray doesn't work,
那我们都死定了
we're all going to die.
闭嘴
Shut up.
你渴望得到我
You desire me.
是的
Yeah.
你对我的渴望使你软弱
And your desire for me makes you weak.
非常软弱
So weak.
这家公♥司♥真正的价值不在于它的股票价格
The real value of this company is not in its stock price
而在于它的员工
but in its employees.
我受到一个人的启发
And I've been inspired by someone who has courage
他勇于说真话
and speaks the truth
是我见过最善良最体贴的人
and is as kind and thoughtful as anyone that I've ever met.
我没开枪杀任何冰♥毒♥毒贩
I didn't shoot any fucking meth dealers!
我才23岁
All right, I'm 23 years old.
我怎么可能在登月那晚
How could I have possibly killed your partner
杀了你的搭档
the night of the moon landing?
我从没说过是"登月那晚"
I never said "night of the moon landing."
我要你把手上的每一滴巧克力都舔干净
I want you to lick every drop of chocolate
我就在这看着
off your hands while I watch.
请诸位一同举起手中的球
So let us one and all raise a ball.
明年克罗尼什实验室将被载入疱疹史册
Next year, Kronish Labs will go down in herpstory!
还有
And...
浓郁丝滑还带有焦糖的香气
Rich and velvety with light notes of caramel.
多美味啊
Mm, yes, isn't that good?
太好吃了咽下这好吃的球
Delicious! Ugh. You dog on tasty balls!
祝大家圣诞快乐
Merry Christmas to all!
好了
All right.
接下来你想要我舔什么
What do you want me to lick next?
-你会需要这个 -我的外套
- You're going to need this. - Hey, my coat!
好好吃
So good.
我应得的
I earned it.
我靠
Mm, damn.
复仇不是唯一尝起来甜蜜的东西
Vengeance isn't the only thing that tastes sweet.
复仇有点不老实了
Oh, vengeance isn't sitting so well.
警探我对这一切很抱歉
Uh, Detective, I'm really sorry about all this,
我为你的搭档感到遗憾
and I'm sorry about your partner
还有他怀孕的妻子
and his pregnant wife!
挺着大肚子
Belly swollen with child!
我就是伊卡洛斯
I'm Icarus!
希腊神话人物
因飞得太高双翼被太阳融化跌落水中丧生
薪资部的肯尼斯
Kenneth, from Payroll!
人力资源部的吉姆和唐娜
Jim and Donna, from HR?
挡住手杖攻击
Striking cane block!
水晶琥珀盾牌
Crystal amber shield!
冷冻大脑
Brain freeze!
搞定
Clear!
悬踢贱婊
Cunt punt!
扔桌
Table throw!
你做得很好继续加油
You're doing a great job, keep it up!
操♥你♥妈♥
Fuck you!
天啊
Oh, God!
狠咬手腕
Wrist bite!
削皮刀
Paring knife!
搞定
Clear.
留那个人活口
Keep that one alive.
克罗尼什
Kronish!
你跟我们来
You're coming with us.
操♥你♥妈♥ 抵御者渣滓
Fuck you, resistant scum!
我日
Son of a perf cock!
他正好落在了小写字母t上
He landed right on that lower-case T.
生化人死光了
We're out of Biotics.
伙计们这里还有一个
Guys, there's one more down here!
不拜托告诉我你拉屎到裙子上了
No, please tell me you shat your dress.
不不不不
No, no, no, no, no!
妈呀这太疯狂了
Shit, this is nuts.
再见大脑炸♥弹♥
Bye-bye, brain bomb.
她要引爆了
She's going to detonate!
终于给这玩意找到用处了
Finally found a use for those things.
她还活着但我们有个问题
She's alive, but we got a problem.
-怎么她要爆♥炸♥了吗 -还没
- What, is she going to pop? - Not yet.
那一击不够干净利索
Didn't get a clean hit.
炸♥弹♥被延迟了但没有解除