高玩救未来

Future Man S01E13

Part 3 April 11, 2020, 11:03 a.m.

如果他高♥潮♥如此强烈
If he's having an orgasm this intense,
只可能是蠕虫在吃他的扁桃体
it can only be because the myrm is chewing on his amygdala.
那是大脑的阴蒂
That's the brain's clit.
知道了
Oh, yeah.
所以你回到40年代去杀死婴儿时期的他
So you went back to the '40s to slit his throat as a baby,
这段我能理解
that part makes sense.
-然后呢 -然后
- Then what? - Well, then...
一件事导致另一件事你懂的
one thing led to another and you know how it goes.
我开始抚养他
I kinda ended up raising him.
那是在你送他上漂浮盒子和他的充电伙伴团聚
Was that before or after you sent him on the floaty box
之前还是之后
with his secret charging mate?
那叫做船之后
It's called a boat and it was after.
或者之前取决于你怎么看时间
Or before, depending on how you view time.
你有多少次杀死
How many chances have you had
克罗尼什的机会却没有下手
to kill Kronish and not done it?
-对了 -答案应该为零你♥他♥妈♥的叛徒
- Oh yeah. - The answer should be zero, you goddamn traitor.
我不会再听你指挥了现在我说了算
I'm not following your plans anymore. I'm in charge now.
亲爱的你得离开这
Sweetie, you gotta get outta here.
大人们在玩
The grown-ups are playing.
快走
Go!
引爆器给我
Give me the detonator.
猫头鹰开门我不得不提前炸掉天命
Owl, open the goddamn doors, I had to blow Destiny early.
野狗和我反♥目♥成仇
Dingo turned on me.
我们遭殃了开门
We're screwed. Open those doors.
这不是三明治是手套
It's not a sandwich, it's a glove.
免费三明治
Hey, free sandwich.
该死
God damnit!
十五个大脑炸♥弹♥在楼下引爆
Fifteen brain bombs just blew downstairs.
生化人援军马上就会到
Biotic reinforcements are gonna be here any second.
靠
Shit.
这些门肯定是以色列钢做的
Oh, these doors must be Israeli steel.
我们炸不过去的
We ain't blowing through this.
等等
Wait,
你说克罗尼什不让任何人进去对吗
you said that Kronish doesn't let anybody into his lab, right?
嗯
Yeah.
但你知道他允许什么进去吗
But you know what he does let in?
负鼠
Possums.
它们肯定有专门的通道
They gotta go somewhere.
焚化炉滑槽
Guys, the incinerator chute.
-我们从那进去 -不等他们过来
- That's our way in. - No, as soon as they arrive,
他们会直冲克罗尼什的实验室我们就会被碾压
they'll make straight for Kronish, we'll be overrun.
是但是如果挡住他们就不会了
Yeah, but not if you hold them off.
你只需要给我足够的时间
Look, all you gotta do is give me enough time
爬上滑槽
to climb up the chute,
安置最后一个炸♥弹♥ 亲自杀了克罗尼什
set the final charge, and kill Kronish myself.
感谢你的提议真的
I appreciate your offer, I really do,
但你就杀过一个人吧
but you've got, like, what, one kill notch on your belt?
坦白说邪恶版的你做了大多数工作
And let's be honest, evil you did most of the work.
不
No.
不如果有人要杀克罗尼什
No, if someone's gonna kill Kronish,
-应该是我 -门被封住
- it should be me. - With that door sealed,
你唯一的出路就是火海
your only exit is down into the fire.
这是自杀任务
It's a suicide mission.
单程票
It's a one-way ticket.
有去无回不能重来没有明天
No coming back, no do-over, no tomorrow.
-你会死的 -嗯听着
- You're gonna die. - Yeah, okay, look,
你说自杀的时候我就没听了
I had it at "suicide."
当你们邀请我去你们的未来的时
Look, when you guys invited me to come to your future,
那对我意味着一切
that meant everything to me.
但那是你们的世界不是我的
All right, but that's your world, that's not mine.
这个世界也不是我的是邱西的
And this world isn't mine either, it's Joosh's.
天命不是什么从日本来的
Destiny isn't something that just arrives
放在门前台阶上的木盒子里的东西
on your doorstep in a wooden box from Japan.
而是你抓住一个时刻
It's something that you seize in a moment,
一个你意识到
a moment where you realize
你必须杀死/自杀你前任上司兼导师的时刻
you have to murder/suicide your former boss and mentor.
这是你们回来找我的原因
This is why you came back for me.
我可以的
I can do this.
好了
Okay.
等我的信♥号♥♥
Okay, look, just wait for my signal.
当那东西变成绿色就意味着克罗尼什死了
When that thing goes green, that means Kronish is dead
最后一个炸♥弹♥安置好
and the final charge has been set.
然后你们就回到未来
Then you guys get the fuck back to the future
无论如何别回来找我
and do not come back for me no matter what.
知道吗如果成功你们不能冒险糟蹋掉
All right, if this works, you cannot risk undoing it.
这是时空穿梭基本常识第二课
That's time travel 102.
我们永远不会忘记你做了什么
We'll never forget what you did here.
你不是未来侠
You're not Future Man.
你比那更好
You're something much better.
你是乔西·佛特曼
You're Josh "Foo-terman."
是福特曼不过我懂
It's Futterman but I get...
-好了 -好了
- Okay. - Okay.
我知道我们永远没机会换回我们的屌♥了
I know we'll never get a chance to switch dicks back,
但我不介意
but I'm cool with that.
重点从来都不是屌♥
It was never about the dick.
而是战士的鬃毛
It's about the warrior's mane,
你赢得了每根毛
and you earned every last hair.
每根毛
这算是道别了
That's a goodbye.
好吧
Okay.
曼努艾尔你不知道大楼在疏散吗
Hey, Manuel, don't you know the building's being evacuated?
你♥他♥妈♥在干什么
What the fuck you doing?
快出去
Clear the building.
不好意思朋友们
Lo siento, mi amigos.
我的工作很重要
Mi trabajo es muy importante.
冰球攻击
Puck shot!
捅穿内脏
Gut knife!
捅穿内脏捅穿内脏捅穿内脏操♥你♥妈♥
Gut knife, gut knife, fucking gut knife! Fuck you!
科学魔棒
Science wand!
再给炸♥弹♥盒添加一个战利品
One more for the gobulator.
别逗了
Okay, let's not kid ourselves.
你说的是
Yeah, you're right.
操
Oh, fuck.
隐身模式也不过如此
So much for stealth mode.
我们得把他们从门口引开
We gotta draw them away from the door.
我以为这会更简单
I thought this would be easier.
我为什么玩的不是《麦登橄榄球》
Why didn't I just play Madden?
操
Fuck.
快跑
Go!
我中弹了
I'm hit!
不
No!
操
Fuck.
福特曼先生
Mr. Futterman.
一直在等你呢
I've been expecting you.
天啊你现在是坏人了
Oh my God, you're evil now.
该死
God damnit.
你为什么不能满足于吃你的海螺油炸果
Why couldn't you have just been happy eating your conch fritters?
我有的乔西
But I was, Josh.
真的
I was!
如海螺一般满足
As happy as a conch.
跟蛤蚌差不多不过更美味
Which is like a clam only much more delicious.
莱斯利和我在远离这里的地方过着梦想般的生活
Leslie and I were living our dream far, far away from here
直到某个无风宿命的一天
until one windless, fateful day
就在拉穆岛北边
just north of the Isle of Lamu.
我挚爱的莱斯利碰到了一颗锈钉
My dearest Leslie brushed against a rusty nail
感染了葡萄球菌
and contracted a staph infection.
简单可治疗
Simple, treatable,
但我们离最近的医院也要航行五天
but we were a five-day sail away from the nearest hospital.
-在索马里 -天啊
- In Somalia. - Oh God.
等我们到了陆地
By the time we reached dry land,
我一生的挚爱在我眼前死去