大城小妞（2014）

Broad City S03E02

Part 3 Oct. 14, 2020, 10:12 a.m.

you're gonna be like,
像这样
Both get, like, super wet, downtown!
两个都浑身湿透下面
Down twat!
下面
Vape life!
大♥麻♥生活
Did I do that?
刚才是我吗
So you're telling me she jerked you off
你说她用的什么油
for eight minutes with what kind of oil?
帮你打了8分钟飞机
Almond.
杏仁油
Then you had sex doggy style, and who finished first?
然后你们又用狗交式做♥爱♥ 谁先高♥潮♥
I don't... Tell me!
我不快说
She did?
她
And then you spooned watching
然后你们依偎着在油管上
YouTube videos of news anchor fails.
看新闻主播出糗视频
Who was which spoon?
谁是哪根勺子
I was the little spoon!
我是小的那根
That is so fucking hot!
这真是太他妈性感了
Couldn't read that reaction for a while.
想不到会是这种反应
Thank you so much for telling me that, woo!
谢谢你告诉我
We are a modern day Will and Jada. We are open sex friends.
我们就是当今的Will和Jada 我们是开放式炮♥友♥
We are poly, we are bi. I'm not bi.
我们是多角恋我们是双性恋我不是双性恋
You're right,
你说得对
how do I know if I haven't truly tested my boundaries?
如果还没试探过自己的界限我又怎么会知道呢
Honestly, I've never felt closer to you.
坦白说我从来没有觉得和你这么接近过
You are a damn king.
你是个国王
What if we tricked her into having a threesome?
我们要不要骗她来玩3P
People really shouldn't trick other people into having sex.
人们不应该骗别人做♥爱♥
I've heard so many women say that,
我听过很多女人这么说
but when you say it, I really hear it.
但当你说出后我真的听到了
All right, penis kiss.
好吧亲下鸡鸡
Okay.
好了
So, wait. All porn is kiddie porn?
等等所有的色情片都是儿童色情
Basically, all entertainment is porn. It's like, everywhere.
基本上所有的娱乐都是色情到处都是
It's like, soon, they're gonna be, like,
要不了多久它们就会
screening on the inside of our eyes.
在我们眼睛里播放了
Ab, Ab, Ab, Ab.
小艾小艾小艾小艾
What?
什么事
Lincoln hooked up with another girl.
林肯睡了别人
She started by jerking him off with almond oil.
她先用杏仁油帮他打飞机
She went slow but really tight squeeze...
节奏很慢但是很紧
Dude, you gotta go.
姐们儿你快离开
I've been hitting it off with this guy and it's complicated.
我和一个人很来电说来话长
Is this your friend Abbi?
这就是你朋友艾比吗
Yeah, this is my friend, Abbi.
对这就是我朋友艾比
Ab, this is Craig.
小艾这是克雷格
A guy.
一个男人
Hi, I'm Abbi.
你好我是艾比
I love pugs.
我喜欢哈巴狗
My family comes from a long line of colonial Jews.
我家世代都是殖民犹太人
Ilana has told me so much about you.
阿♥拉♥娜跟我讲了很多关于你的事
It's crazy how much we have in common.
我们共同点如此多真是太不可思议了
On the count of three, your favorite Phish album.
我数三下说出你最爱的Phish专辑
One, two, three. "Rift"!
一二三《裂缝》
Sorry.
抱歉
I have to take this.
我得接下这电♥话♥
Hello?
喂
It's my doctor with the X-rays.
是帮我拍X光照片的医生
What?!
什么
No, I don't need a labia reduction,
不我不需要缩小阴♥唇♥
I was just asking about it.
我之前只是问问
And I'm gonna make a call to the Better Business Bureau.
我要给商业改进局打个电♥话♥
Listen, on paper, Abbi seems perfect.
听着理论上艾比似乎很完美
But she's just not my type physically.
但她的身材不是我的菜
I like a girl with a butt.
我喜欢有翘臀的女生
Me! Me, I have... butt.
我我我有翘臀
Okay, come here.
好吧这边来
I've been pretending to be Ilana.
我一直在假扮阿♥拉♥娜
I'm really Abbi. Hi.
我其实是艾比你好
Wait, what?
等下你说什么
All that stuff I said about Abbi, that's me.
之前我说的那些艾比的事都是我
I'm her.
我就是她
Abbi. I'm an artist, okay? I love Phish.
艾比我是艺术家我喜欢Phish
I wear full-length shirts.
我穿全长T恤
This isn't me. This is me.
这不是我这才是我
You impersonated someone to cover a shift at the co-op?
你假扮某人来合作社代班
Technically, that is... how I would explain it.
差不多就是这样
No way.
不可能
The Abbi I've been hearing about all day
我今天听到的艾比
would never do something like this.
绝不会做这种事
She would,
会的
'cause I did, for my best friend.
因为我做了为了我最好的朋友
I don't know what's more disgusting.
我不知道哪个更恶心
The fact that you've been lying to me all day
你骗了我一整天
or the fact that you tried to cheat the co-op.
还是你在合作社里作弊
This is a place of trust.
这是一个互相信任的地方
In the words of Phish,
用Phish的话说
"Deduct the carrots from your pay,
"从你的酬劳里扣除额外奖励
you worthless, swampy fool."
你个没用的臭死人的蠢货"
"Cavern." I love that song.
《洞穴》我喜欢那首歌♥
Every 46 minutes of it.
46分钟每分钟都喜欢
How slick was that labia mention, right?
刚才我说阴♥唇♥是不是很有才
Yeah. How slick.
是啊有才死了
You signed a billion-year contract
你签署了一个十亿年的合同
specifically prohibiting the sharing of shifts.
明令禁止让他人代班
Guess I didn't read the fine print.
大概是我没看小字
There it is, okay.
看到了懂了
I'm sorry, but are you... breastfeeding?
不好意思你是在用母乳喂养吗
The power of co-op produce has made me fertile
合作社的食物让我在50岁后
into my 50s and beyond.
还能生育
So amazing.
太棒了
Don't try and butter me up, I'm a vegan.
别给我抹黄油[拍我马屁] 我是素食主义者
No butter. I just got it.
不抹黄油我刚懂了
You two are SPs. Shitty peoples.
你们两个是SP 人♥渣♥
You belong on garbage island.
你们该去垃圾岛
Nobody belongs on garbage island!
没人该去垃圾岛
We as a society are very... Puhleeze! I know your type.
我们作为一个团体是得了吧我知道你们是什么样的人
You act and you think like you're all eco-conscious.
一副自以为你们有生态意识的样子
But I see you with your iced coffees
但我看到了你们的冰咖啡
and your food to go.
和快餐
You are garbage island, and you are officially
你们就是垃圾岛你们正式
disconnected from the co-op for life.
被合作社永久驱逐
Fine. I hear the Bushwick co-op is better anyway.
切我听说布♥什♥威克合作社更好
All the co-ops are connected.
所有合作社都是互通的
We also have connections with security at Whole Foods.
我们还认识全食超♥市♥的安保部门
That's right, you two are going to be eating
是的你们俩将要在你们
vending machine food
短暂的一生中
and bodega veggies for the rest of your very short lives.
以贩卖♥♥机食物和酒窖蔬菜为食
Now, get the fuck out.
滚吧
Jesus.
天
You "Carniv-whores"!
吃肉食的素食婊
Go on!
滚快点
Oh, Robert.
Robert
Oh, latch.
吃吧
And then he gave her water for her cranberry pills.
然后他给她递水吃蔓越莓胶囊
She's prone to UTls.
她容易尿路感染
But you're not jealous at all?
但你一点也不忌妒
You know, if you love something,
你知道如果你喜欢某样东西
you have to let it have sex with other people.
你就得让它和别人做♥爱♥
And then if it comes back to you, dope,
如果它回来找你酷
'cause you also get to have sex with other people.
这样你也能和别人做♥爱♥了
I never heard that version.
我从没听过这版解释