大城小妞（2014）

Broad City S02E01

Part 1 Oct. 14, 2020, 10:06 a.m.

Come on! Come on, dude!
快快姐们
It's coming, it's coming. Go, go, let's go, let's go!
来了要来了快快
Yes!
棒
All right, we've gotta go to the back of the train. Okay.
我们得到后面去好
Okay. Hey, sorry.
好吧不好意思
Excuse-- Okay.
借过
Ugh, typical.
真典型
Okay.
好吧
Val? Val!
小薇小薇
Ilana, come on.
阿♥拉♥娜快走
Oh, my God.
我的天
Oh, my--
我的
Okay, come on, come on. All right, okay.
快走好的
What's going on here?
这里怎么回事
Hold up, dude. We were supposed to be at the front end.
等等我们应该去前端的
That's what I said. Is it?
我就这么说的是吗
Is it? Yeah. Mmhmm.
是吗嗯
Are you sure? Yeah.
确定吗嗯
I thou-- I don't know,
我以为我不知道
I think you said we needed to be at--
你说的是我们需要去
Get out!
滚粗
I'm telling you,
我跟你说
fat dudes' dicks get sucked back inside their bodies.
胖子的鸡鸡会缩回他们的身体
I'm not saying you're wrong,
我不是说你错了
I just don't, like, understand the sucking back
我只是不懂
into their bodies part of it.
缩回他们的身体是什么意思
It's not like it's science suction, Bill Nye!
这又不是科学上的缩回比尔·奈
I'm just saying,
我的意思是
the more room it has to present itself,
鸡鸡展示的空间越大
the bigger a penis appears.
鸡鸡显得就越大
Never forget this, okay?
一定要记住好吗
Every 10 pounds a guy loses,
男人每减10磅
he gains a visual inch.
他的鸡鸡从视觉上就增加一英寸
What, so it's like the best optical illusion of all time?
所以这是史上最棒的错觉吗
Exactly.
没错
Like, um, Mount Rushmore,
就像拉什莫尔山
how it looks, you know, like the presidents?
看上去像总统一样
Well, Mount Rushmore is actually a sculpture.
拉什莫尔山其实是座雕像
Like, it was carved by an artist.
是由艺术家雕刻出来的
Dude, this heat is like killing me right now. I'm just dying.
简直热疯我快被热死了
Oh, I love it.
我可喜欢了
All my senses are heightened,
我所有的感官都增强了
even my ethnic ambiguity.
甚至包括我的种族模糊性
I was catcalled today in what I believe is Creole.
我今天在街上被一个人用克里奥尔语调戏了
Well, I'm on the edge of like swamp ass right now.
我屁♥股♥快湿透了
I need some A/C.
我需要吹空调
We're gonna have to throw these out.
这些得扔了
Here we go.
开始
This lighting is incredible.
灯光很赞
Hey, do you have any tweezers?
你有镊子吗
Um, not on me, no.
没带
Ilana, did I tell you that male Stacey's cooking me dinner tonight?
阿♥拉♥娜我跟你说男斯黛西今晚要给我做饭了吗
I mean, if I was a guy,
要是我是男的
that is what I would do for a girl.
我就会给女生做饭
You should check out the Colin Farrell sex tape,
你该去看看科林·法瑞尔的性♥爱♥录像带
just to get back in the swing of things,
熟悉环境
specifically 8:58.
具体在8:58秒
He is feasting on her like it is a dang milk shake.
他在她逼上大餐就像在吃奶昔一样
It's me breakfast, lunch, and dinner right here.
这是我的早餐午餐和晚餐
'Twas 8:58 you said, sire?
你说8:58秒吗陛下
Yes.
是的
But then you're gonna want to swab the decks
然后你要快进到
over to 9:44 for some master ass play.
9:44秒看大♥师♥级肛♥交♥
And then round it out at 12:47 with some good old-fashioned fuck.
然后在12:47秒看老派做♥爱♥
Oh. So sorry.
抱歉
We love New York moms.
我们喜欢纽约妈妈
Um, I'm gonna buy these,
我要买♥♥这个
because they're now, like, sort of part of my body.
因为已经融入我的身体了
So... Perfect.
完美
You said 8:58?
你说的是8:58吗
You're gonna like what you see.
你会喜欢的
I guarantee it.
我保证
Yeah, so then they got divorced,
然后他们离婚了
but they're still really good friends.
但还是好朋友
Yeah? My parents too.
是吗我父母也是
Divorced, still good friends.
离婚了但还是好朋友
So cool, right? So cool.
很酷吧超酷
I hope to get married just to get divorced one day.
我希望能结婚就为了某天能离婚
I've gotta be honest, I'm kind of massively
老实说我有点后悔
regretting my decision to sizzle fajitas
在这么近的距离
two inches from my head.
烧法士达了
But I'm glad I wore my awesome new shirt.
不过我很高兴我穿了我的新衣服
It's like a smiley face.
就像个笑脸
It-- Kind of like a smiley face.
就像个笑脸
It is! Look at that.
是的看看
My plan is working.
我计划奏效了
Get you over here, hide the A/C,
叫你过来把空调藏着
get those clothes off.
让你脱掉衣服
You don't actually have an air conditioner, do you?
你不会真有空调吧
No, I don't.
没有
Okay.
好的
I'm gonna go. I think I'm gonna go wipe up--
我离开下我去擦
I'm gonna go wipe my--
我去擦我的
I'm gonna pee.
我去撒尿
I'll pee and then you know what I'll do?
我去撒尿然后你知道我会做什么吗
I'll wipe--
我会擦掉
I'm gonna use the ladies' room.
我要去女厕所
All right.
好
Fuck, it's hot.
操好热
Okay.
好了
All right. Jesus, cool down. Just cool down, Abbi.
冷静冷静艾比
You're cool, you're cool.
你很冷静你很冷静
You're cool.
你很冷静
You look good. You feel good.
你看着不错你感觉不错
That's cool.
很好
Cool mode. Here we go.
冷风模式开始
What up?
怎么样
I just peed. Yeah? I've just been cooking.
我刚撒了尿是吗我一直在做饭
I was thinking, maybe we forget about
我刚在想我们要不要
the fajitas, um, for a sec.
暂时忘掉法士达
I have a fan in my room.
我房♥间里有台风扇
Uh, that's where I sleep and do other stuff.
就是我睡觉和做别的事情的地方
Cool.
好啊
Animated movies are where it's at.
动画电影是主要阵地
It's like visual crack.
就像视觉毒品
Hey, my daughter loves "Frozen."
我女儿可爱《冰雪奇缘》了
Watches it over and over... Oh, yes.
看了一遍又一遍是的
looped and loop-- She's frozen.
不停循环就跟她被冻住了一样
Exactly.
没错
All Hollywood media is porn,
所有的好莱坞媒体都是色情片
and all porn is kiddie porn.
所有的色情片都是儿童色情
We live in a rape culture, you know? We just do.
我们生活在强♥奸♥文化里真的
I'm gonna run to the little girl's room.
我去下小女孩卫生间
That is rape culture language right there.
看这就是强♥奸♥文化的语言
Where'd you meet her, man?
你在哪认识她的
At a Foot Locker in Times Square.
时代广场的Foot Locker店
She was just hanging out.
她在那瞎逛
She wasn't buying anything, she was just chilling.
什么都不买♥♥ 单纯混时间
I'm gonna take your pants off.
我要脱掉你的裤子
Okay? Okay. Okay. Okay.
好吗好好好