大城小妞（2014）

Broad City S04E01

Part 1 Oct. 14, 2020, 10:19 a.m.

Another one bites the dust.
又一人遭殃
The New York City Snipper is at it again this morning,
纽约剪刀手今早再次出手
snipping women's ponytails.
剪掉女人的马尾辫
Oh, God! ? Ooh, oh, geez!
我晕天啊
Shit. ?Hey, I got it. Hey.
靠我来
Oh, wow, thank you. That's so nice.
谢谢你真好
No worries.
客气
That just happened to me.
我也遇到了
Oh, no, now you can't get through.
不这下你过不来了
Oh, you know, it's all good. Go, go, go, go!
没事快走快走
Hey, come back! Stop!
回来站住
Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit...
糟了糟了
Jesus Christ! Ugh, you're kidding me!
老天搞错没有
Thanks again for swiping me in.
再次谢谢帮我刷♥卡♥
Oh, you're welcome, ma'am.
不客气夫人
Donald Trump will be president!
唐纳德·特朗普会成为总统
Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit...
糟了糟了
God, are you kidding me?
你搞错没有
Ew! ?Jesus Christ!
老天啊
F Train suspended.
F列车暂停营运
Doesn't work anymore, we gotta close it guys.
没法运行了我们必须关闭
Thank you.
谢谢
Well, thanks again for swiping me in up there.
再次感谢帮我刷♥卡♥
Yeah, you got it.
小意思
Um, I'm Abbi.
我是艾比
I'm Ilana.
我是阿♥拉♥娜
I'm Robert.
我是罗伯特
Hi, Robert.
你好罗伯特
Oh, God, I guess I'm just not gonna go to work.
天我多半只有翘班了
Can't you just go in, like, a little bit late?
你迟到一会儿都不行吗
No, I forgot to lock up last night,
不行我昨晚忘了锁门
so then I was supposed to get there five minutes early
所以我今早得提前5分钟到
this morning to fake lock up.
假装锁了门
And it didn't happen, so... best thing to do right now
显然做不到了所以现在最好
is to smoke a lot of pot.
就是抽很多大♥麻♥
I mean, I was just gonna go to Bed, Bath and Beyond,
我本来打算去BBB的
but I could definitely do that high.
但我也可以抽
That's cool.
酷
You know, I could smoke you up.
我可以给你抽
Yeah, I I thought that's what you meant. ? Oh, cool!
我以为你刚才就这意思好啊
♪ Get you, ooh ♪
♪ 懂你 ♪
♪ Get you, ooh ♪
♪ 懂你 ♪
Right, we'll show 'em.
我们表演给他们看
Sick.
厉害
Oh! ?Oh my God!
我的天
God, that's a strong kick.
天真够有力
Are you okay? ?I'm okay.
你没事吧我没事
No, it's okay.
没事
Can I give you this money?
我能把这钱给你吗
This is what we made today so far.
这是我们今天赚到的
Oh, don't-- don't even worry about it.
不用担心
I'm just a silly, upper-middle class NYU bitch,
我只是个纽约大学脑残的上层中产阶级渣渣
so I wouldn't take money from you.
我不能收你的钱
Hey, I go to NYU too, Tisch School Performing Arts.
我也是纽约大学的蒂西表演艺术学院
We all do.
我们都是
Tischies. Congrats.
蒂西的恭喜
All right, I'll take 20.
那给我20吧
Whoops! Now you're all wet!
糟糕你现在全身湿透了
Even though I know you were already.
尽管我知道你早就已经湿了
No, sir!
没有先生
'Cause I... I never get wet.
因为我从不湿
And now, I got you all riled up!
我把你激怒了
I love my life.
我爱我的生活
Do you like Four Loko. It kinda scares me.
你喜欢四洛克酒吗有点怕
Whoops! Now you're all wet!
糟糕你现在全身湿透了
Even though I know you were already.
尽管我知道你早就已经湿了
No! You know what?
没有你知道吗
You're a needle-dick bitch, bitch.
你个牙签屌♥贱♥人♥ 贱♥人♥
This guy's a bitch!
这家伙是贱♥人♥
You know hashtag, winning? You're hashtag, losing.
知道#胜利吗你是#失败
That's your symbol of masculinity, a bubble gun?
这就是你的男子气概象征吗泡泡枪
Good luck living the rest of your life.
祝你余生好运
Yeah!
没错
Good luck living the rest of your life!
祝你余生好运
I hate my life.
我恨我的生活
I knew it!
我就知道
I left the doors open all night where I work
我忘了关店铺的门
and they fired me!
他们把我开了
Come on, dude, fuck Grey Dog, I hate that place!
拜托去你的灰狗我讨厌那地方
Dude, I love Grey Dog!
姐们我喜欢灰狗
I mean, I'm sure the one that you work at sucks.
你上班的那个肯定很烂
But the one on Carmine is, like, amazing.
但是卡麦街上的那家超赞
The staff is so sweet. Dude, that's where I work!
员工人很好我就是在那上班
Dude, I'm in there, like, every day.
我每天都去
Dude, how have we not seen each other?
我们怎么没见过对方
Dude, this is insane! Oh, my God, dude!
这太神奇了天啊
Okay, well listen, if you need a new job,
听着如果你想找工作
my friend Morgan just got me this sick catering gig,
我朋友给我介绍了一个超酷的酒席活
and a spot just opened up 'cause some guy just OD'ed.
刚好空出了一个位置因为有人嗑药过量死了
Dude...
我♥操♥
Oh my God! ?
天啊
Oh shit, my notepad! My notepad! ?I got it, I got it!
靠我的笔记本我的笔记本我帮你拿
Oh my God, my hair! Oh, this is bad.
该死我的头发悲剧了
No, it looks so good like that. Why do you straighten it?
这样看着很好啊你为什么要拉直
'Cause I look like a true Jew if I don't straighten.
如果不拉直的话我看上去就像个真的犹太人
It's not necessarily a bad thing.
这未必是坏事啊
You wouldn't know.
你又懂什么
No, I'm Jewish.
我是犹太人
Not full.
不是纯正的
Yeah, I'm completely Jewish.
我是纯的
Check the records.
检验证据
Had a bat mitzvah.
我经历过犹太女孩成人礼
Did you get work done?
你有完成仪式吗
No! ?I can't believe it.
没有不敢相信
Listen, I think you look like--
我觉得你好像
you got like a Rosie Perez vibe going.
你很像罗西·培瑞兹
If you poofed it up ?What?
如果你把前面头发梳起来什么
?Okay, now I'm doing it like this every freaking day
好吧以后我要每天
for the rest of my life, dude!
都这么做
Plus, it'll save me two hours every morning,
再说这能帮我每天早上节省两个小时
so I'll never be late for work again.
我就永远不会上班迟到了
Bonus Jonas!
额外好处
Would you wanna get breakfast?
你想去吃早饭吗
I'm starving. ?Oh, my God.
我饿疯了天
I thought you'd never ask. Yes, I'm starving too.
我还以为你不会问呢当然我也饿疯了
Jinx tummies. ?
同步胃
Come on.
快点好吗
Sorry, hopefully they'll be out soon.
抱歉但愿他们能快点出来
Thanks.
谢谢
No!
不
Oh, my God! ? What happened?
我的天怎么了
He took my pony!
他剪掉了我马尾
Oh... hey, Tim.
蒂姆
Ilana, are you kidding me?
阿♥拉♥娜你搞错没有
Is that the Kenyan hazelnut?
那是肯尼亚榛子吗
You're fired.
你被解雇了
Are you serious?
你认真的吗
Yes, you are so completely fired.
是的你被彻底解雇了
Fine.
行
God... but I'm at least entitled
天但我至少还能